Titanic II

[Spurminator]

Titanic II is real and there's a trailer
By Sean O'Neal July 28, 2010
http://www.avclub.com/articles/titan...trailer,43587/

Pretty much since its release, the idea of a sequel to Titanic has been a running gag—fodder for Photoshop contests and fan-made trailers precisely because the very idea that anyone would attempt to make such a film would have to be the crassest, most shameless cash-in artists in the business. In other words, you’d have to be The Asylum, home to other “mockbusters” like Snakes On A Train and Transmorphers and now the proud parents of Titanic II. The faux-sequel picks up precisely 100 years after the events of the actual Titanic voyage, with an ensemble cast that includes Brooke Burns, Bruce Davison, and Dick Van Dyke’s son Shane (also the writer and director) embarking on another transatlantic cruise aboard the Titanic II luxury yacht, and following the exact same route that the original took. Guess what happens?

[IronMexican]

Sounds like it's a can't miss movie.

[DesignatedT]

[koriwhat]

almost as dumb as the first one... almost.

[dickface]

Originally Posted by koriwhat

almost as dumb as the first one... almost.

what do you base this on? the fact that calf tats are more likely to appear in the sequel?

[Mr.Bottomtooth]

Originally Posted by dickface

what do you base this on? the fact that calf tats are more likely to appear in the sequel?

[JMarkJohns]

Originally Posted by IronMexican

Sounds like it's a can't miss movie.

Yeah, I've got a sinking feeling it would do well...

[baseline bum]

It can't possibly be as bad as the first. For one, it probably won't be three fucking hours.

[The Gemini Method]

Screw that...the Rose broad should've done what lost paramours have done over the ages--die with the guy who last stuck ya.

Watch out for revenge of the Iceberg...

[CubanMustGo]

.

[Jacob1983]

Is this movie going to be a Sci-Fi channel movie on Saturday night? Or straight to DVD?

[Greg Oden]

Originally Posted by The Gemini Method

Watch out for revenge of the Iceberg...

Why would the Iceberg want revenge if it whipped that ass in the first place?

[The Gemini Method]

Originally Posted by Greg Oden

Why would the Iceberg want revenge if it whipped that ass in the first place?

Because, the new iceberg would've been chastized by humans and ridiculed for being 1/2 the collection of ice that their predecssor was and so with all the shortcomings, the 2nd iceberg would feel the need to outdo the previous actions and come with a vengeance twice as hard as the original. You know, how the art of killing a franchise in a sequel is done.

[Greg Oden]

consider my chode bloaded.

[koriwhat]

Originally Posted by dickface

what do you base this on? the fact that calf tats are more likely to appear in the sequel?

wherever i go, they go too.



and yall say i'm the cause of the problem.. haha! it's the 13 yr olds no doubt about it. summer fuckin' end already!

[badfish22]

[Greg Oden]

Originally Posted by koriwhat

wherever i go, they go too.



and yall say i'm the cause of the problem.. haha! it's the 13 yr olds no doubt about it. summer fuckin' end already!

How do you know the "fag squad" didn't drop out? They might not have any school to look forward to, tbh.

[monosylab1k]

Originally Posted by koriwhat

wherever i go, they go too.



and yall say i'm the cause of the problem.. haha! it's the 13 yr olds no doubt about it. summer fuckin' end already!

offsides, koriwhat, 5 yard penalty, repeat 1st down.

[Drachen]

Originally Posted by Greg Oden

Why would the Iceberg want revenge if it whipped that ass in the first place?

Because after the first one knocked out the largest most unsinkable ship, man began a program of systematic elimination of the icebergs through the release of mass amounts of carbon into the air in an attempt to raise the temprature of the Earth. The iceberg, over the last 100 years, has watched as all of his buddies have shrivled up, and died. He has also noticed that when he goes and visits his mother, she has shriveled up substantially to the point that he had to travel hundreds more miles north to go see her. Once he saw what the cost of traveling these extra miles would be, something in him snapped (it was probably ice), and this once passive iceberg became an active agent of justice (falling down-style). (queue the montage of the iceberg floating aggressively back and forth, getting a little better, making a pass at a boat, but missing, practicing more aggressive floating, crushes an abandoned ship, etc. All while the song in the backround is a Rob Zombie version of my heart will go on "NEAR FAR YEAH WHEREVER YOU ARE YEAH I WILL CRUSH YOU YEAH"). Then he finds out a boat is coming from his buddies, but his best friend (voiced by zach galifinoukis for some reason) tells him that its a bad idea, even if he succeeds, they will catch him and turn him into ice cubes). The iceberg, (voiced by stallone) is unconvinced, and in the most poetic of iceberg crushing scenes in movie history, the boat that happens to be passing is the Titanic II. Cut to a 5 year old kid in Georgia, drinking a coke on a hot summer day, and the camera zooms in closer and closer on the glass, and if you listen closely enough you can hear stallone saying "worth it, all worth it."

[JudynTX]

Wtf?

[Greg Oden]

Originally Posted by Drachen

Because after the first one knocked out the largest most unsinkable ship, man began a program of systematic elimination of the icebergs through the release of mass amounts of carbon into the air in an attempt to raise the temprature of the Earth. The iceberg, over the last 100 years, has watched as all of his buddies have shrivled up, and died. He has also noticed that when he goes and visits his mother, she has shriveled up substantially to the point that he had to travel hundreds more miles north to go see her. Once he saw what the cost of traveling these extra miles would be, something in him snapped (it was probably ice), and this once passive iceberg became an active agent of justice (falling down-style). (queue the montage of the iceberg floating aggressively back and forth, getting a little better, making a pass at a boat, but missing, practicing more aggressive floating, crushes an abandoned ship, etc. All while the song in the backround is a Rob Zombie version of my heart will go on "NEAR FAR YEAH WHEREVER YOU ARE YEAH I WILL CRUSH YOU YEAH"). Then he finds out a boat is coming from his buddies, but his best friend (voiced by zach galifinoukis for some reason) tells him that its a bad idea, even if he succeeds, they will catch him and turn him into ice cubes). The iceberg, (voiced by stallone) is unconvinced, and in the most poetic of iceberg crushing scenes in movie history, the boat that happens to be passing is the Titanic II. Cut to a 5 year old kid in Georgia, drinking a coke on a hot summer day, and the camera zooms in closer and closer on the glass, and if you listen closely enough you can hear stallone saying "worth it, all worth it."

excellent.

[Drachen]

Thank you. I thought it was good.

[mingus]

trailers usually do a good job of making worthless pieces of shit look at least decent. not this one.

[crc21209]

Wow...