Don't call it a comeback... I've been here for years.
"I know why you like ties because of where they point!" --Last Comic Standing
Memo to all employees:
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from
employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through
our program of
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T)
We are trying to give our employees more, S.H.I.T than anyone else. If you
feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the course, please
your supervisor. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T
list, and our supervisors are especially skilled at
seeing you get all the S. H. I. T. you can handle.
Employees who don't take their S. H. I.T. will be placed in
DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T).
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to
EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T).
Since our supervisors took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they don't
have to take S.H.I.T anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a job teaching
others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LIST of LEADERS
For employees who are intending to pursue a career in management and
consulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL
RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E.S.H.I.T).
This course emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T
If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T).
BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G.S.H.I.T)
P.S. Now send this S.H.I.T to 5 people who need S.H.I.T in their life, just
not the same person who sent you this S.H.I.T They have already had their
fill of S.H.I.T
Thank you for your time.
The Director Under the Main Bureau of Super High Intensity Training.
I've always been a S.H.I.T. Super Hero In Training
I'm having a friend over for dinner tomorrow. After dinner I'm going to get her drunk and make her watch Grandma's Boy.
Stupid should be painful.
Man, going to the midnight showing of The Avengers is now kicking my butt. I need a nap.
Found an iphone 4 on the street (pasword not even activated). Should I be a good Samaritan and attempt to return it back to it's rightful owner, or should I jailbreak it and sell the phone?
When the invaders came they brought our greatest fear. Not of them, but of us. They stripped away our hopes of what humanity could be, shined a light on the ugly reality of what we were. We saw that humanity would not stand as one. Those willing to fight would have to stand alone. But still we stood.
They came in wave after unrelenting wave, barely any attempt to avoid our fire. It was like no matter the death toll it was all just a game to them. Maybe victory was just a second thought to the little bastards. What they wanted was to see the moment when we broke, when we'd see that no matter how desperate our defense they had already won. But still we stood.
And now the invaders are gone. Seems as though they are forgotten already. What of us that fought and remain? Do we deserve the same fate as the foe we battled?
I thought iOS5 included their device locator for free. I'd turn it in
Final exam today. I've been studying, but I don't feel prepared at all.
That's the spirit!
Oh I just LOVE a rainy day when I don't have to leave my house! If TCM can deliver me some Cary Grant, it'll be perfect
only noon and already done with my lunch..........damn.
did you hear about the kids that got burnt walking like cats on the running track?
school is getting crazier and crazier. must be because of the kids.
Kids are so different from just 10 years ago. They can be very difficult.
Ow, paper cut!
Not all women are sensitive, some are tough as nails.
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