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  1. #26
    Take the fcking keys away baseline bum's Avatar
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    Dude, just let her go. Let her have whatever she wants. Don't try to hold people hostage. I know you are not used to hearing this and most people don't think this way but why is she a ? Because she wants her freedom?
    Because she wants his money.

  2. #27
    silverblk mystix
    Guest
    Because she wants his money.

    So give it to her. The money is for the kids- give it to them.

  3. #28
    Take the fcking keys away baseline bum's Avatar
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    So give it to her. The money is for the kids- give it to them.
    LOL, sounds more like she gets the kids and the child support goes to Neiman Marcus while the kids eat bologna.

  4. #29
    A neverending cycle Trainwreck2100's Avatar
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    then he should keep the kids so he can give it to them himself

  5. #30
    Delonte West fanclub pres lakerhaterade's Avatar
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    Dude, just let her go. Let her have whatever she wants. Don't try to hold people hostage. I know you are not used to hearing this and most people don't think this way but why is she a ? Because she wants her freedom?

    Let her have it. It also means you will have your freedom. It also means that there is something else in store for you- a different future- a different life. Be brave and bold and welcome whatever is in your life and don't try to change it or fix it.

    If my wife- whom I love dearly- suddenly did this, I would step back and take some time for myself. I would make peace with my thoughts and I would tell her to go and find her way. I would move on and let the universe have her back. I lived a long time without her and the last 11 years were wonderful but I would get used to the idea that my life took a turn and I would wait to see what the universe had for me.

    I don't think that needing someone = love. If I need someone to be happy-- it is not love- it is addiction and insecurity- not love.

    Seriously think about this and don't get yourself jailed because some other guy is with her. Let him have her- soon she will do the same to him....or not...it doesn't really matter. You can find another way.
    beta post imo

  6. #31
    GAME OVER gospursgojas's Avatar
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    Dude, just let her go. Let her have whatever she wants. Don't try to hold people hostage. I know you are not used to hearing this and most people don't think this way but why is she a ? Because she wants her freedom?

    Let her have it. It also means you will have your freedom. It also means that there is something else in store for you- a different future- a different life. Be brave and bold and welcome whatever is in your life and don't try to change it or fix it.

    If my wife- whom I love dearly- suddenly did this, I would step back and take some time for myself. I would make peace with my thoughts and I would tell her to go and find her way. I would move on and let the universe have her back. I lived a long time without her and the last 11 years were wonderful but I would get used to the idea that my life took a turn and I would wait to see what the universe had for me.

    I don't think that needing someone = love. If I need someone to be happy-- it is not love- it is addiction and insecurity- not love.

    Seriously think about this and don't get yourself jailed because some other guy is with her. Let him have her- soon she will do the same to him....or not...it doesn't really matter. You can find another way.
    Shes a for wanting freedom bc she made a commitment thru marriage, and/or having kids. Now shes reneging on that?

    I definitely dont NEED her to be happy. But she sure did help, obviously I loved her enough to start a family and promise to spend my life with her so that type of person would make me happy. I was angry more than anything...mostly bc Now kids gotta be yet another group of kids of whom dont live with both parents all bc mommy wanted to "free"

  7. #32
    A neverending cycle Trainwreck2100's Avatar
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    LOL, sounds more like she gets the kids and the child support goes to Neiman Marcus while the kids eat bologna.
    exactly, any woman that gets her own too small place, and leaves her children behind obviously don't care that much about them any mother here would attest to that.

  8. #33
    GAME OVER gospursgojas's Avatar
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    then he should keep the kids so he can give it to them himself
    Yessir

  9. #34
    Take the fcking keys away baseline bum's Avatar
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    Shes a for wanting freedom bc she made a commitment thru marriage, and/or having kids. Now shes reneging on that?

    I definitely dont NEED her to be happy. But she sure did help, obviously I loved her enough to start a family and promise to spend my life with her so that type of person would make me happy. I was angry more than anything...mostly bc Now kids gotta be yet another group of kids of whom dont live with both parents all bc mommy wanted to "free"
    Gotta disagree there. You gotta be nuts to think marriage is for life in an era where women are no longer property.

  10. #35
    GAME OVER gospursgojas's Avatar
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    Guess im old school.

  11. #36
    GAME OVER gospursgojas's Avatar
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    Guess im old school.
    And/or stupid.

  12. #37
    Spur-taaaa TDMVPDPOY's Avatar
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    any of pics of the wife...thats if she is worth fightin for

  13. #38
    Ur a fkn wanker Venti Quattro's Avatar
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    any of pics of the wife...thats if she is worth fightin for
    lol if a wants full custody just for your money, she is totally not worth fighting for.

  14. #39
    Banned
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    getting married was a terrible choice to begin with. if you are or want to be a smart guy then you should not consider marrying a woman no matter how much you think you love her. love will start to fade and you'll start to find it boring 5-6 years into your marriage. just them and make em happy at the minimum cost, and dump them in the ditch when you feel bored of them

  15. #40
    Veteran chunticakes's Avatar
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    the blood holes.

  16. #41
    I cannot grok its fullnes leemajors's Avatar
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    unless you want to spend a lot of money, you have little chance of getting even primary. i would suggest seeing a therapist for sure, it will look very good. offer to go to therapy with her as well, even if you know she will refuse. this will look very good to a judge that you are making an effort for the children - they think anyone who tries for divorce without trying therapy first is wasting their time. i also suggest not posting any details of anything online past this point, especially on social media as I believe TW suggested. once you find a lawyer, tell him everything and leave no detail out and let him advise you on your best strategy.

  17. #42
    on instagram, str8 flexin DUNCANownsKOBE's Avatar
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    Do this BEFORE you hire a lawyer, get a tape recorder and record a conversation with her getting her to say she only wants the kids for child support. It's perfectly legal to do this as long as you are a part of the conversation but you can't do it while consulting a lawyer because the lawyer will get in hot water and drop you as a client.

  18. #43
    Mr. John Wayne CosmicCowboy's Avatar
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    Unless you have personal issues (druggie, violent crime conviction, etc.) almost any attorney will get you joint custody in todays world. She will have to prove you are an unfit parent to get full custody unless you give up your rights. Joint custody does not mean that she won't get child support if you make a lot more than she does. The way that works, they will calculate it as if each of you had full custody and arrive at an amount that each would pay the other. Lets say they run the calculations and you would have to pay her $900 and she would have to pay you $400. They would award her $500 in child support.

  19. #44
    Mr. John Wayne CosmicCowboy's Avatar
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    BTW there are online child support calculators if you want to run the numbers.

    http://www.divorcehq.com/calculators...lculator.shtml

  20. #45
    I cannot grok its fullnes leemajors's Avatar
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    unless you want to spend a lot of money, you have little chance of getting even primary. i would suggest seeing a therapist for sure, it will look very good. offer to go to therapy with her as well, even if you know she will refuse. this will look very good to a judge that you are making an effort for the children - they think anyone who tries for divorce without trying therapy first is wasting their time. i also suggest not posting any details of anything online past this point, especially on social media as I believe TW suggested. once you find a lawyer, tell him everything and leave no detail out and let him advise you on your best strategy.
    Primary as in primary in joint custody and receiving child support.

  21. #46
    Kooler than Jesus Nathan Explosion's Avatar
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    I know EXACTLY how you feel. When I was reading this, I seriously thought this was an old thread I started 2 years ago. Wife left because she wasn't ready to have a family (arriving at this conclusion about 4 years too late, when we had a son and daughter). I have full custody of the kids. I let it be known that if she even thought about fighting me for them, I'd make her life a living . I would have gotten her parents to testify against her since both admitted I was the more responsible one and better parent.

    It got so bad between us that I actually put her in therapy, not on purpose though. I think the comment that our kids loved her, but didn't like her was what did it. The thing was, it was totally true. My kids would start yelling and crying if I even mentioned her name to them.

    Ultimately, just do what you can to prove you're the best parent and prevent her from getting the kids. My ex comes over to my house to spend time with the kids, spending the night on her days off. I live in a 3 bedroom house and they have their own rooms, while she lives in a 1 bedroom apartment. Yeah, they're not staying over there.

    At one point she saw them 3 times in 3 months, and only because I invited her over, not because she contacted me to see them. She chose her boyfriend over them and for me, that was it. She ended up breaking up/making up with the guy she left me for more times in 2 years than we did in 7. Eventually I called her out in a fight saying that she definitely made the "right" choice in leaving a man who took care of her and the kids with a stable job for some guy she'd break up with at least 7 times in 2 years.

    Everything is better now. We're friendly but not friends. We do things with the kids, and even have breakfast and lunch together on our days off while the kids are in school/daycare. We'll probably never get back together, but we're linked together for the rest of our lives because of our kids.

    So after this long winded post, my best advice is to just be the bigger man, let your kids know what's going on and who stayed around (seems petty but it seemed to help my kids feel better because it eased their minds that at least one parent will always be around for them and never leave), and just give it time. I will always love my ex because she's the mother of my children, but I'm not in love with her. My ex has learned that how she did what she did was not the right way, and she understands why I felt the way I did (because in my mind, she left the kids for a man too) and we just move on from there. We still have our disagreements, but they're not as heated as they were in the last 2 years.

  22. #47
    Owned by cats JudynTX's Avatar
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    She's probably fooling around.

  23. #48
    silverblk mystix
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    that's not possible with kids involved

    Sure, it is possible and furthermore it is a great opportunity to teach the kids a big lesson. Show them that marriage and/or relationships are not a prison and that life changes, people change-- everything changes. Teach them that you will always respect their mother and if she needs to be free - teach them that you wish her the best and that the kids should always live their lives freely and allow people they love to be free also.

    Love isn't found in a relationship where you are basically telling the other person, "if you act in ways that I approve of--then I will love you...once you act in ways I don't approve of- then I don't love you anymore." This is not love.

    Teach the kids that if they are strong and independent that they will never be held hostage by someone else and that they never , ever need to hold someone hostage in order to be loved.

  24. #49
    Veteran cantthinkofanything's Avatar
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    She's probably fooling around.
    there's little doubt. I'm not sure how much this would weigh in your favor. But if you still have the computer, it might be worth scouring to see if there are any incriminating emails anywhere.

  25. #50
    adolis is altuve’s father monosylab1k's Avatar
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    Sure, it is possible and furthermore it is a great opportunity to teach the kids a big lesson. Show them that marriage and/or relationships are not a prison and that life changes, people change-- everything changes. Teach them that you will always respect their mother and if she needs to be free - teach them that you wish her the best and that the kids should always live their lives freely and allow people they love to be free also.

    Love isn't found in a relationship where you are basically telling the other person, "if you act in ways that I approve of--then I will love you...once you act in ways I don't approve of- then I don't love you anymore." This is not love.

    Teach the kids that if they are strong and independent that they will never be held hostage by someone else and that they never , ever need to hold someone hostage in order to be loved.
    I say this with all sincerity, I hope you get shanked by a prisoner and die today.

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