I gotta give this one to TW---the "lessons" you want to teach the kids are too complicated for the maturity level of a kid under the age of about 16 or 17. However, the impressions and feelings younger kids will grow up with will stay and effect them forever. I have a very negative view of single/divorced mothers because of these "lessons" and examples they try give too young children. If your marriage is toxic, by all means get out, make a life for yourself and make the kids your focus until they are old enough to survive without you. Then find someone who makes you happy. But these women who decide to date or find someone while they have kids dependent on them are ultimately teaching them that if you get out of a bad situation, then you need to find someone to put you back in a good situation----you are worthless unless someone else is making you happy. And kids who have been thru a divorce, no doubt hear their moms telling them how wonderful her life is as long as she has them and that they are her life----then she goes off to find a man and the kids are left with "What? We aren't enough for her anymore? We aren't good enough?" Their mom's end up looking pretty desperate in their eyes. No woman should put her children near any man who likes them or accepts them as part of a package deal----she needs to be absolutely positive that he loves them as much or even more than he loves her or the risk just isn't worth it; they will always deep down view their mom as a pathetic soul who chose the over them.