Sometimes it's not just about respect though. I loved my ex and my kids more than anyone in the world. I would have done anything for her. Hell, when she comes over, I still cook, clean (well it is my house) and take care of her out of respect for my children. But where I drew the line was when her friends and Facebook took priority over the kids. I woke up one time at 2:30 am and my son was playing on the Wii while she was IM'ing the dude she left me fore and playing on Facebook. They were going to hang out the next day and I actually said it was alright. I ripped her a new one right then and there and the next day when she thought she was leaving I told her fuck no because her friends were becoming more important than our kids.
I may have been her husband, but I considered myself a father first at that moment because my kids had no one to defend them in the fight. She told me a few days later she didn't want a divorce and realized she messed up, but about a month later I found out she was looking for apartments at night while the kids and I were asleep.
So if the wife is too immature to understand respect for her husband and what it means to be a parent, it doesn't matter what you do or how good you treat her, she's only thinking of herself at that point. And there's nothing you can do to change her mind because she'll only remember the bad and never the good.
For my ex her main gripe was that I was "always right" in an argument. Of course, I later explained that I wouldn't argue if I didn't think I was right. If I started to argue, and realized I was wrong, I stopped and just let her win because, well, she was right. Why would I waste energy arguing when I was in the wrong. Seems logical. But nobody remembers the fights that almost happened but didn't.
And of course, she "forgot" how I would come home tired as fuck and still watch my son at night so she could sleep because she worked mornings. And when she was put on bed rest, I watch my son every second I was at home, cleaned cooked and even gave her baths so she could be comfortable. And the same when our daughter was born. When I was home, I took over being the parent so she could relax. Or when she hated her job so much it affected her at home, I told her to quit and I would worry about paying the bills while she just rested and got herself right again. And when she got tired of being a stay at home mom, I pulled strings to get her the job she has now, even though I or the guy I asked a favor of didn't feel comfortable doing that because of our close friendship and what could happen to him professionally if it went sour.
When a woman makes up her mind, all logic goes out the window.