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  1. #1
    Wrecks and Effects RsxPiimp's Avatar
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    Los Angeles Lakers
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    And you were given a task to give your honest to goodness scouting report for some of the players below behind closed doors, how would you describe their game, skill, personality, demeanor etc?


    Kobe
    Duncan
    Kawhi
    Lebron
    Dwight
    Durant
    Rose
    Parker
    Ibaka
    Deron Williams

  2. #2
    The Boognish FuzzyLumpkins's Avatar
    My Team
    San Antonio Spurs
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    22,830
    Kobe - TOSB
    Duncan - GPFOAT
    Kawhi - bustin out
    Lebron - late maturity
    Dwight - dumb but hardworking and athletic
    Durant - dumb, ugly, half assed defender. greatest shooter of his generation.
    Rose - gimp
    Parker - pimp
    Ibaka - jump shooting weakside defender
    Deron Williams - selfish and fat

  3. #3
    Savvy Veteran spurraider21's Avatar
    My Team
    San Antonio Spurs
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    96,289
    Kobe has some snitch in him. Not in a bad way, but like if he's in trouble one day he'll totally you over

  4. #4
    Take the fcking keys away baseline bum's Avatar
    My Team
    San Antonio Spurs
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    93,371
    Kobe - Let this shoot as much as he wants
    Duncan - 5
    Kawhi - pickpocket the ball with dem hands
    Lebron - He went to Cleveland for the kids
    Dwight - Likes underage pussy, put coach's daughter in a tube top courtside
    Durant - Beware the whistle
    Rose - Sweep the leg
    Parker - Dribble, dribble, dribble Enrique
    Ibaka - Ebola some scary
    Deron Williams - can't run 10 feet without huffing

  5. #5
    Got Woke? DMC's Avatar
    My Team
    San Antonio Spurs
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    90,829
    And you were given a task to give your honest to goodness scouting report for some of the players below behind closed doors, how would you describe their game, skill, personality, demeanor etc?


    Kobe
    Duncan
    Kawhi
    Lebron
    Dwight
    Durant
    Rose
    Parker
    Ibaka
    Deron Williams
    Kobe: Solid player in the mold of Jordan, selfish to a flaw, unwilling to share the ball or the spotlight with his team. Has a huge chip on his shoulder that's unwarranted because he was raised wealthy. Personifies the "White Men Can't Jump" quote about preferring to look good losing than to win and not shine in the process. As much a detriment to his team as an asset even in his glory days. Ex teammates bash him, plays in a premier city on a premier team but struggles to get good help to stick around because of his acidic personality.

    Duncan: Solid footwork, best inside game in the game. Heady defender, great court awareness, underrated passing skills, great hands. Has some mental hangups where shot mechanics are concerned, needs more arc on his shot. Once had a bank shot that was unstoppable, has since shifted to a line drive shot at the front of the rim that often barely catches iron, but teams tend to give him that shot so he takes it. Knows his weaknesses, adapts his game to his teammates abilities. Great leader, leads by example. Well respected around the league.

    Kawhi: Big hands, hard worker, gets results. Lacks confidence but gaining in that department by leaps and bounds. Handles are a bit suspect, but he's developed an outside shot and a jab step that clears space for the shot. Good 3pt shooter. Can shoot in transition on the pull up. Lockdown perimeter defender, gets a lot of deflections and some lead to steals. Still finding his role on the team, even his coaches have no idea how good he will be.

    Lebron: Total package; handles, shooting, passing, defending, great teammate. Best player on the planet. Hasn't found a team yet though. Lacks killer instinct, shies away from clutch moments unless they are forced upon him. Only player in the game that can make a non-playoff team a le contender.

    Dwight: Athletic, tall, agile, fast. Good rim protector, rebounder. Mental midget, easy to shake mentally, poor FT shooter, stays in foul trouble, victim mentality. Jovial to a flaw, lacks "next level" mentality, should be a larger factor on a team. Needs to get over himself, will never win a ring as a starting center as he's a liability in late game situations.

    Durant: Best shooter in the game, average to poor defender. His shot is unstoppable due to his range and his size. Can finish at the rim. Good handles. Good passing skills. Still poking around looking for someone to tell him he's the leader. On the right team could be a perennial le contender. Needs to be the focal point of the offense.

    Rose: Best PG in the game when he's healthy. Dangerous shooter, crazy handles, athletic finisher, good court awareness. Health issues have kept him sidelined.

    Parker: Best finishing PG in the game, insane handles and uncanny ability to know where the rim is at full speed in traffic, and to get the ball through the limbs and to the rim. Could be a spotlight player on a premier team but chose to stay in the Spurs system. Has a narrow cone where court vision is concerned, lacks trust in non-tenured teammates. Over-dribbles at times, looks for his shot, has a bit of a chip on his shoulder as well.

    Ibaka: Underutilized offensive player, drifts too far from the rim but can hit from outside. Aggressive defender, intimidating shot blocker, good on the break, good finisher and rebounder. Has potential that's untapped due to the jostling for alpha male on the team. Needs to play for a better coach.

    Deron Williams: S of his former self, but at one time was the smoothest PG in the game. Had it all. Mentally regressed to being just an overpaid role player.

  6. #6
    Savvy Veteran spurraider21's Avatar
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    San Antonio Spurs
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    96,289
    damn only DMC actually bothered putting time into it

  7. #7
    Board Man Comes Home Clipper Nation's Avatar
    My Team
    Los Angeles Clippers
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    54,257
    Kirby - terrible shot selection, terrible teammate, selfish, snitch , team cancer, you have to win games in spite of this got's presence....

  8. #8
    Veteran
    My Team
    Los Angeles Clippers
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    5,371
    Tim- World class leadership. Still have a good amount of game left in him. Still a game changer.



    Kobe- Cash cow. Wouldn't be able to offer anything other than star appeal and generate funds through marketing. A real PITA even at this stage of his career. Possibly good for 15-20 mins, but would not give any of assets due to a career ending injury. Not even a late 1s round pick. Think Olajuwon Post Rockets career,


    Rose- Fragile. Appears to associate himself with various people that has questionable character, high risk asset. I wouldn't bank on his game to elevate his team to greater heights.


    Deron Williams- Heard he lost his confidence. His legs are done and he never found his jumper again. Coach and a franchise killer. See Kenny Anderson.

  9. #9
    Wrecks and Effects RsxPiimp's Avatar
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
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    8,329
    Kobe has some snitch in him. Not in a bad way, but like if he's in trouble one day he'll totally you over

  10. #10
    Transition 3 Willbreaker Captivus's Avatar
    My Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    Post Count
    4,881
    Kobe: Solid player in the mold of Jordan, selfish to a flaw, unwilling to share the ball or the spotlight with his team. Has a huge chip on his shoulder that's unwarranted because he was raised wealthy. Personifies the "White Men Can't Jump" quote about preferring to look good losing than to win and not shine in the process. As much a detriment to his team as an asset even in his glory days. Ex teammates bash him, plays in a premier city on a premier team but struggles to get good help to stick around because of his acidic personality.

    Duncan: Solid footwork, best inside game in the game. Heady defender, great court awareness, underrated passing skills, great hands. Has some mental hangups where shot mechanics are concerned, needs more arc on his shot. Once had a bank shot that was unstoppable, has since shifted to a line drive shot at the front of the rim that often barely catches iron, but teams tend to give him that shot so he takes it. Knows his weaknesses, adapts his game to his teammates abilities. Great leader, leads by example. Well respected around the league.

    Kawhi: Big hands, hard worker, gets results. Lacks confidence but gaining in that department by leaps and bounds. Handles are a bit suspect, but he's developed an outside shot and a jab step that clears space for the shot. Good 3pt shooter. Can shoot in transition on the pull up. Lockdown perimeter defender, gets a lot of deflections and some lead to steals. Still finding his role on the team, even his coaches have no idea how good he will be.

    Lebron: Total package; handles, shooting, passing, defending, great teammate. Best player on the planet. Hasn't found a team yet though. Lacks killer instinct, shies away from clutch moments unless they are forced upon him. Only player in the game that can make a non-playoff team a le contender.

    Dwight: Athletic, tall, agile, fast. Good rim protector, rebounder. Mental midget, easy to shake mentally, poor FT shooter, stays in foul trouble, victim mentality. Jovial to a flaw, lacks "next level" mentality, should be a larger factor on a team. Needs to get over himself, will never win a ring as a starting center as he's a liability in late game situations.

    Durant: Best shooter in the game, average to poor defender. His shot is unstoppable due to his range and his size. Can finish at the rim. Good handles. Good passing skills. Still poking around looking for someone to tell him he's the leader. On the right team could be a perennial le contender. Needs to be the focal point of the offense.

    Rose: Best PG in the game when he's healthy. Dangerous shooter, crazy handles, athletic finisher, good court awareness. Health issues have kept him sidelined.

    Parker: Best finishing PG in the game, insane handles and uncanny ability to know where the rim is at full speed in traffic, and to get the ball through the limbs and to the rim. Could be a spotlight player on a premier team but chose to stay in the Spurs system. Has a narrow cone where court vision is concerned, lacks trust in non-tenured teammates. Over-dribbles at times, looks for his shot, has a bit of a chip on his shoulder as well.

    Ibaka: Underutilized offensive player, drifts too far from the rim but can hit from outside. Aggressive defender, intimidating shot blocker, good on the break, good finisher and rebounder. Has potential that's untapped due to the jostling for alpha male on the team. Needs to play for a better coach.

    Deron Williams: S of his former self, but at one time was the smoothest PG in the game. Had it all. Mentally regressed to being just an overpaid role player.

  11. #11
    Wrecks and Effects RsxPiimp's Avatar
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
    Post Count
    8,329
    Kobe: Solid player in the mold of Jordan, selfish to a flaw, unwilling to share the ball or the spotlight with his team. Has a huge chip on his shoulder that's unwarranted because he was raised wealthy. Personifies the "White Men Can't Jump" quote about preferring to look good losing than to win and not shine in the process. As much a detriment to his team as an asset even in his glory days. Ex teammates bash him, plays in a premier city on a premier team but struggles to get good help to stick around because of his acidic personality.

    Duncan: Solid footwork, best inside game in the game. Heady defender, great court awareness, underrated passing skills, great hands. Has some mental hangups where shot mechanics are concerned, needs more arc on his shot. Once had a bank shot that was unstoppable, has since shifted to a line drive shot at the front of the rim that often barely catches iron, but teams tend to give him that shot so he takes it. Knows his weaknesses, adapts his game to his teammates abilities. Great leader, leads by example. Well respected around the league.

    Kawhi: Big hands, hard worker, gets results. Lacks confidence but gaining in that department by leaps and bounds. Handles are a bit suspect, but he's developed an outside shot and a jab step that clears space for the shot. Good 3pt shooter. Can shoot in transition on the pull up. Lockdown perimeter defender, gets a lot of deflections and some lead to steals. Still finding his role on the team, even his coaches have no idea how good he will be.

    Lebron: Total package; handles, shooting, passing, defending, great teammate. Best player on the planet. Hasn't found a team yet though. Lacks killer instinct, shies away from clutch moments unless they are forced upon him. Only player in the game that can make a non-playoff team a le contender.

    Dwight: Athletic, tall, agile, fast. Good rim protector, rebounder. Mental midget, easy to shake mentally, poor FT shooter, stays in foul trouble, victim mentality. Jovial to a flaw, lacks "next level" mentality, should be a larger factor on a team. Needs to get over himself, will never win a ring as a starting center as he's a liability in late game situations.

    Durant: Best shooter in the game, average to poor defender. His shot is unstoppable due to his range and his size. Can finish at the rim. Good handles. Good passing skills. Still poking around looking for someone to tell him he's the leader. On the right team could be a perennial le contender. Needs to be the focal point of the offense.

    Rose: Best PG in the game when he's healthy. Dangerous shooter, crazy handles, athletic finisher, good court awareness. Health issues have kept him sidelined.

    Parker: Best finishing PG in the game, insane handles and uncanny ability to know where the rim is at full speed in traffic, and to get the ball through the limbs and to the rim. Could be a spotlight player on a premier team but chose to stay in the Spurs system. Has a narrow cone where court vision is concerned, lacks trust in non-tenured teammates. Over-dribbles at times, looks for his shot, has a bit of a chip on his shoulder as well.

    Ibaka: Underutilized offensive player, drifts too far from the rim but can hit from outside. Aggressive defender, intimidating shot blocker, good on the break, good finisher and rebounder. Has potential that's untapped due to the jostling for alpha male on the team. Needs to play for a better coach.

    Deron Williams: S of his former self, but at one time was the smoothest PG in the game. Had it all. Mentally regressed to being just an overpaid role player.
    Was expecting the trolls would flood the thread but props to this post old man.

  12. #12
    notthewordsofonewhokneels Thread's Avatar
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
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    82,142
    Duncan: tall, gay, pussy whipped, short 1, pussy whipped, asshole like Lincoln Tunnel, short 1, Battier owned, pussy whipped.

  13. #13
    Believe. kobe4life's Avatar
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
    Post Count
    755
    The Great Satan- Strengths are that he's super athletic, great ball handling skills, and great court vision. Weakness is that he doesn't show up during the playoffs and always disappears during big moments only to be bailed out by teammates such as Ray Allen,Miller, Wade, etc. Another problem with The Great Satan is he can't win without bail outs and needs a stacked roster to win a le.

    God- Doesn't have any weaknesses is basically a Jordan Clone except a better version since he has a 3 point shot while Jordan didn't.

    Kawhi- Great hands and long arms with a decent post up game along with being an above average defensive player. Weakness is terrible handles, not good at creating his shot, and that he's autistic.

    Dwight- Used to be super athletic but now is above average, above average defensive player, still a great rebounder. Weakness he has no jump shot, ugly post game, and doesn't have a good work ethic since that was the reason why he left LA because he couldn't match God's great work ethic.

  14. #14
    Wrecks and Effects RsxPiimp's Avatar
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
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    8,329
    Duncan: tall, gay, pussy whipped, short 1, pussy whipped, asshole like Lincoln Tunnel, short 1, Battier owned, pussy whipped.

  15. #15
    Wrecks and Effects RsxPiimp's Avatar
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
    Post Count
    8,329
    The Great Satan- Strengths are that he's super athletic, great ball handling skills, and great court vision. Weakness is that he doesn't show up during the playoffs and always disappears during big moments only to be bailed out by teammates such as Ray Allen,Miller, Wade, etc. Another problem with The Great Satan is he can't win without bail outs and needs a stacked roster to win a le.

    God- Doesn't have any weaknesses is basically a Jordan Clone except a better version since he has a 3 point shot while Jordan didn't.

    Kawhi- Great hands and long arms with a decent post up game along with being an above average defensive player. Weakness is terrible handles, not good at creating his shot, and that he's autistic.

    Dwight- Used to be super athletic but now is above average, above average defensive player, still a great rebounder. Weakness he has no jump shot, ugly post game, and doesn't have a good work ethic since that was the reason why he left LA because he couldn't match God's great work ethic.
    one of your best post. At least you're consistent with your schtick

  16. #16
    MORE LIFE SOON COME 313's Avatar
    My Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    Post Count
    11,595
    Kobe- old and cripple. He might give you 15-20 a game next season but at what cost?
    Duncan-even in old age, his game has aged like a fine wine. He's a great team leader, has great defensive awareness, but lacks the lateral quickness to always be in the right spot. His line drive shot is spotty at best but he's still dependable in the post. Would start for a lot of teams today.
    Kawhi-he keeps improving every year thanks to his work ethic and the Spurs great training staff. Uses his length and athleticism to disrupt the passing lanes, and provide great help D. His on ball defense is good when facing someone around his size. Small quick guards can blow by him. Which isn't a fault to him, because there are only a handful of guys who have the tools to stay in front of the Westbrook and Monte ellis' of the world. On the offensive end, he has an elite mid range game, decent three point shot and is strong enough to finish at the rim at will. Ball handling is shaky, but he'll improve.
    Lebron-loser
    Dwight- clown loser
    Durant- beta, bitter, pussy, loser
    Rose- assuming he can stay healthy, he's as athletic as anyone in the league. He's still not a great three point shooter from what we've seen in the world cup, but he makes up for it on other areas. He's as athletic as Westbrook, without the wrecklessness and more mature.
    Parker- below average defender, but shows flashes every once in a while. Not much of a 3poiint shooter but can hit from the corner. Great mid range game, and elite finisher at the basket. Doesn't involve others in offense enough sometimes due to tunnel vision. Good team leader aside Duncan and Manu.
    Ibaka- can hit the three from the corner. Can hit the 18 footer. Can't recall ever seeing him post up. Elite help defender/shot blocker. Average post defender. Good teammate.
    Deron Williams-washed up

  17. #17
    notthewordsofonewhokneels Thread's Avatar
    My Team
    Los Angeles Lakers
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    82,142
    I still got it!!!

  18. #18
    36/7/7
    My Team
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    5,892
    Duncan: tall, gay, pussy whipped, short 1, pussy whipped, asshole like Lincoln Tunnel, short 1, Battier owned, pussy whipped.
    lol

  19. #19
    Veteran cd021's Avatar
    My Team
    San Antonio Spurs
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    9,818
    Kobe- A talent scorer with "killer instinct" late in close games. Missed most of last season and has unusually high mileage for 36 year old. Difficult teammate but craves winning. High volume shooter difficult to play alongside at times and to coach. Poor defender at this point in his career. Capable play-maker when he sets his mind to it but almost never happens.

    Duncan
    -Highly skilled and well rounder, virtually no flaws to his game. Terrific passer, high basketball I.Q, strong rebounding and all time great defensive player. One of the great post players in the history of the game. One of the 5 greatest players in NBA history.

    Kawhi-Long and athletic wing. Strong defender, plays the passing lane very well. Rapidly improving on offense. Good 3pt shooter and above average mid range game. Very good rebounder for position as well.

    Needs to continue to improve on getting to the basket in the half court and showing more consistency in free throw shooting. Passive at times on offense.

    Lebron-Freak athlete at 6'9. Terrific play maker and defender. Since improving his jumper and adding a post game his scoring efficiency and overall efficiency has shot up to near historic numbers.


    Dwight- Terrific athlete and rim protector limited post skill but effective in p&r situations. Great rebounder but horrible free throw shooter. Immaturity issues and desire to be loved and appreciated put former team ,Orlando, through .

    Following back surgery hasn't quite returned to the high level of the '11-12 season.

    Durant

    Rose-Explosive athlete,

    Parker-Quick PG guard, uses speed to knife his way into the lane. Finishes at rim very well, crafty and aggressive on offense.

    Improved jump shot has turned him into all star.

    Ibaka-Athletic rim protector. Defensive anchor. Non existent post game and interior scoring. Very good floor spacing big man but needs to be set up. Reliant on others to create shots for him. Capable of being shut down by mobile forwards who can recover to contest his jumpers.

    Deron Williams-Rapidly decline in production. Still capable of big nights but fewer and farther in between.

  20. #20
    Rum and Coke SupremeGuy's Avatar
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    10,605
    Kobe has some snitch in him. Not in a bad way, but like if he's in trouble one day he'll totally you over

  21. #21
    notthewordsofonewhokneels Thread's Avatar
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    Los Angeles Lakers
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    Kobe has some snitch in him. Not in a bad way, but like if he's in trouble one day he'll totally you over
    Like Amy.

    tee, hee.

  22. #22
    Savvy Veteran spurraider21's Avatar
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    Like Amy.

    tee, hee.

  23. #23
    notthewordsofonewhokneels Thread's Avatar
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    ^Amy snitched as well, 21. Just take your lumps, sassafras. You've nary other choice.

    Amy

  24. #24
    Is there no one else? AchillesHeel's Avatar
    My Team
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    6,440
    I am not an NBA scout.

  25. #25
    Savvy Veteran spurraider21's Avatar
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    ^Amy snitched as well, 21. Just take your lumps, sassafras. You've nary other choice.

    Amy
    not sure where you're getting that from. we have nary a quote from amy

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