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  1. #1
    Watching the collapse benefactor's Avatar
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    Houston Oilers
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    40,683
    Magary is back with the goods yet again. Bucs are up first.

    Your coach: Lovie Smith. There are certain head coaches who make for disastrous retreads, and Lovie Smith is one of them. We all think of Rich Ko e as a walking punchline, but Rich Ko e went 36-28 as head coach of the Eagles before he burned the Jets to the ground. It took that second job for his true tiness to be laid bare. That’s where Lovie Smith is right now. He’s right in the Mooch Zone. Five months from now, when he staggers out of Tampa with five total wins to his name, people will ask, “How the did THAT guy take a team to a Super Bowl?” And there will be no good answer. They’re gonna resurrect those ty Coors Light press conference ads just for the moment Lovie gets canned. I can wait.
    Your quarterback: HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY! Congratulations, Tampa! You just won yourself 10 years of getting defensive whenever someone mentions collegiate rape accusations! I think you’ll be impressed by how seamlessly FSU Twitter morphs into Bucs Twitter. You won’t even realize what’s happened until you’ve got yourself an egg avatar and you’re beefing with everyone in sight. “This girl can’t keep her story straight GET THE FACTS!” It’s fun! And all for this guy …



    Never gets old. It’s the Buttfumble of college football lore. Remember: Jameis Winston threw 18 picks last year. Imagine sitting in a war room and saying to yourself, “Well, he threw 18 picks last year in an abominable conference. And he derped all over the Rose Bowl. And he stole crab legs. And he got suspended for doing the Tosh Serenade at the school cafeteria. And every other NFL fan will root for him to fail. And he may have raped a woman. And he couldn’t even show his face at the ing draft because he knew he’d be booed for possibly raping a woman. LET’S TAKE HIM FIRST.”
    http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...ers-1718991122

  2. #2
    Banned
    My Team
    San Francisco 49ers
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    49,723
    You always start with that Head Coach/QB combo, that usually says it all about a team, history has proven that.

    Look at what the Niners have, nuff said! 6-10 maybe? We could take last in the division.

  3. #3
    Savvy Veteran spurraider21's Avatar
    My Team
    Oakland Raiders
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    96,013
    you just won yourself 10 years of getting defensive whenever someone mentions collegiate rape accusations
    avante

  4. #4
    ex Hornets78 Pelicans78's Avatar
    My Team
    New Orleans Saints
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    15,822
    you just won yourself 10 years of getting defensive whenever someone mentions collegiate rape accusations
    avante


  5. #5
    TB 2 TB Silver&Black's Avatar
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    Tampa Bay Buccaneers
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    17,514
    Ohh No....We Suck Again.

  6. #6
    Banned
    My Team
    San Francisco 49ers
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    49,723
    you just won yourself 10 years of getting defensive whenever someone mentions collegiate rape accusations
    avante
    That would be funny if we were both 17.

  7. #7
    Damns (Given): 0 Blake's Avatar
    My Team
    Baltimore Ravens
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    76,231
    No, it's funny on top of you being old and fat

  8. #8
    Watching the collapse benefactor's Avatar
    My Team
    Houston Oilers
    Post Count
    40,683
    "Five short years ago, I watched in person as the Bucs mudholed Seattle behind Josh Freeman’s 5 glorious TD passes that put them squarely in playoff contention at 9-6 with one game left. I thought, 'Damn, they might just be legit.' They went 10-6 and lost the wild card tiebreaker to eventual Super Bowl champ Green Bay.

    Since then, they’ve gone 17-47. The Seahawks have gone 43-21 and won a Super Bowl. the Bucs."

    ...damn...that sounds like a Houston football fan.

  9. #9
    Banned
    My Team
    San Francisco 49ers
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    49,723
    No, it's funny on top of you being old and fat
    Blake, don't you ever tire of that? We all get it, you're a prick, ok?

  10. #10
    TB 2 TB Silver&Black's Avatar
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    Tampa Bay Buccaneers
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    17,514
    ...damn...that sounds like a Houston football fan.
    Welcome to my world bene....

    Jeff Garcia and Josh Freeman's first two years feels like eons ago.

  11. #11
    aging point guard that can't shoot or pass

  12. #12
    Watching the collapse benefactor's Avatar
    My Team
    Houston Oilers
    Post Count
    40,683
    Tacks:

    Your coach: Ken Whisenhunt. EVERYONE BEATS THE WHIZ. When are people gonna stop giving this man quarterbacks to ruin? Jake Locker RETIRED this offseason. Jake Locker is 19 years old. He had to retire because Whiz coaches all his quarterbacks to plant your face in the defender’s chest prior to releasing the ball. Classic throwing motion. Good thing they didn’t draft another slender, speedy quarterback who might be similarly frail! Oh wait…
    By the way, once Mariota gets blown to pieces by J.J. Watt, your backup QB is still Zach Mettenberger, who fired back at J.J. Watt a swift nine months after Watt gave him for taking selfies. Real quick reaction time on this young quarterback…

    “I think this chicken is expired!” –Zach Mettenberger, five days after dying of salmonella poisoning

    “You mean we won?” –Zach Mettenberger, watching The Patriot

    “They did WHAT?!” –Zach Mettenberger, on September 11th, 2002
    And you know what? This is what Nashville deserves for giving the world Clay Travis. And country music. God, country music. Nashville makes country music that even people who like country music don’t like. DURRR THAT AIN’T REAL COUNTRY! Even among redneck posers, this is somehow a city filled with even WORSE redneck posers. Take it from someone who lives near D.C.: terrible things happen when Northern white kids walk around pretending to be Southern white kids. Nashville is nothing more than several miles of a bar on every corner featuring the same ty country bar band playing the same ty country song to the same ty faux country people. They also have a statue saluting the founder of the KKK in Nashville. Nashville should be incinerated.
    http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-su...ans-1719223375

  13. #13
    Board Man Comes Home Clipper Nation's Avatar
    Post Count
    54,257
    That would be funny if we were both 17.
    It's not funny since those Pinoy ladyboys weren't even 17 yet.

  14. #14
    Banned
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    San Francisco 49ers
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    49,723
    It's not funny since those Pinoy ladyboys weren't even 17 yet.
    Come on little fella, you really this ed up?

  15. #15
    My Favorite Faded Fantasy The Gemini Method's Avatar
    My Team
    St. Louis Rams
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    10,166
    The Jaguars one was hilarious...poor what's his name who is a Jags fan on here.

  16. #16
    coffee is for closers Infinite_limit's Avatar
    My Team
    San Francisco 49ers
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    8,148
    If Roetshlisburger and Kobe were able to overcome rapes in the Professionals, pretty sure Winston can.

  17. #17
    Chunky Brazil's Avatar
    My Team
    Detroit Lions
    Post Count
    30,042
    They don't need one for the Lions... the name Detroit Lions is enough

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