Kings: Baseball season is only two days old...

[apalisoc_9]

"The only reason why I'm fat is because I have the option to stuff my mouth with mcnuggets and Triple bacon burgers" - fathands.

[hater]

Did he his pants after the team's buritto eating challenge last night?

[spurraider21]

damn

[hater]

Funny thing: Immigrants here lampooning fatball but making minimum wage at their jobs, which means a fat, out of shape, tobacco spitting redneck just shy of a heart attack in the majors is set for life financially while the only reason you're "slim" is because of famine.

Umm ya better check your facts

Immigrants are actually making millions in Fatball while 350 pound bags of lard Fatball fans are working on their next coronary in the stands

[lefty]

Holy THREE walk offs? Instead of scratching their balls and eating sunflower seeds, they WALKED? That's gotta be a calories burned record

thread wrecked

[DMC]

Umm ya better check your facts

Immigrants are actually making millions in Fatball while 350 pound bags of lard Fatball fans are working on their next coronary in the stands

I'm just saying it must really suck that some lard ass piece of who sits around all day playing with his balls and spitting sunflower seeds it's going to be retired on a beach while you're busting your ass at age 69 trying to earn enough income to pay for your own burial.

[lefty]

The Northern American Health Group unveiled research last week demonstrating that Major League ballplayers usually consume enough food and caloric beverages to make them gain more calories than they burn during an average game. NAHG stated that this was a surprise find, and that they by no means set out to point out the minimal physical effort baseball players need to put forth to start and complete games.

The study found that Major League players spend most of their games sitting, standing, spitting and adjusting their cups, none of which cons ute what the NAHG classifies as “strenuous activity” that would burn calories at a higher rate. The study found that far smaller amounts of game time were spent doing more active things, such as walking, jogging lightly and running. During the 2010 regular season, NAHG found that starting position players spent an average 34 seconds of game time sprinting. Sports data analysts found that MLB games lasted an average 2 hours and 52 minutes in 2009.

“I feel the need to clarify that figure though because it can be misleading,” NAHG president John Grogan said. “That number, 34 seconds, may seem small and believable, but it is actually higher than the overall average. It doesn’t take into account the starting pitchers who are sitting on the bench because it’s not their day of the rotation. It also doesn’t include the relievers, most of whom just sit out there all game, maybe throw a few pitches, but that’s it. Plus, there’s all the reserve players who ride the bench and never get to do anything.”

But even sitting still, on average, burns a bit over 100 calories per hour. So to be gaining calories, that means ballplayers are constantly replenishing their systems with some form of nourishment. The NAHG study effectively analyzed the burning and consumption of calories by the players, finding that most of them eat and drink enough to come out on the plus side.

“During any normal game, Major League players have plenty of time to consume, and they take full advantage of that opportunity,” Grogan said. “A lot of them chew sugary gum, drink Gatorade or eat sunflower seeds, all of which have a higher calorie content than most people realize. As a result, baseball players are able to sustain their energy throughout the course of the game, unlike other sports, in which the participant would need to have previously ingested energy and have it ready to burn at the start of the activity.”

In the study’s conclusion, NAHG cited the increasing length of baseball games as a possible reason for players wanting to eat more. For example, they observed several relievers eating high-cal meal replacement bars during games, seemingly more out of boredom than anything else. They also admitted the data was skewed due to the presence of Prince Fielder and CC Sabathia, both of whom discretely eat full meals between innings, sometimes two or three times per game.

Most of the professional baseball world was not especially surprised or excited by the NHG’s findings.

“As long as it’s not about steroids, I’m relieved and don’t care enough to comment,” MLB Commissioner Bud Selig said over the phone.

ESPN anchor and former Phillies first baseman John Kruk, however, embraced the study’s frankness about the real physical effort required to play a game of baseball.

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” he said of the study. “I spent years of my life catching flack for not treating my body like an athlete would despite being an MLB player. Turns out I burn more calories sitting on my ass not eating while I anchor for Baseball Tonight than I ever did when I actually played baseball. Who’s laughing now?

[dabom]

[lefty20]

Yandy Diaz.... Dude prolly runs faster than Messi and Ronaldo while carrying both of them

[Robz4000]

Lot of floptrot fans on damage control in this thread tbh. All I see is " fatball this, fatball that " and posts about grown men's ting habits, but nothing exciting about the sport they're trying to prop up...

[Clipper Nation]

The Northern American Health Group unveiled research last week demonstrating that Major League ballplayers usually consume enough food and caloric beverages to make them gain more calories than they burn during an average game. NAHG stated that this was a surprise find, and that they by no means set out to point out the minimal physical effort baseball players need to put forth to start and complete games.

The study found that Major League players spend most of their games sitting, standing, spitting and adjusting their cups, none of which cons ute what the NAHG classifies as “strenuous activity” that would burn calories at a higher rate. The study found that far smaller amounts of game time were spent doing more active things, such as walking, jogging lightly and running. During the 2010 regular season, NAHG found that starting position players spent an average 34 seconds of game time sprinting. Sports data analysts found that MLB games lasted an average 2 hours and 52 minutes in 2009.

“I feel the need to clarify that figure though because it can be misleading,” NAHG president John Grogan said. “That number, 34 seconds, may seem small and believable, but it is actually higher than the overall average. It doesn’t take into account the starting pitchers who are sitting on the bench because it’s not their day of the rotation. It also doesn’t include the relievers, most of whom just sit out there all game, maybe throw a few pitches, but that’s it. Plus, there’s all the reserve players who ride the bench and never get to do anything.”

But even sitting still, on average, burns a bit over 100 calories per hour. So to be gaining calories, that means ballplayers are constantly replenishing their systems with some form of nourishment. The NAHG study effectively analyzed the burning and consumption of calories by the players, finding that most of them eat and drink enough to come out on the plus side.

“During any normal game, Major League players have plenty of time to consume, and they take full advantage of that opportunity,” Grogan said. “A lot of them chew sugary gum, drink Gatorade or eat sunflower seeds, all of which have a higher calorie content than most people realize. As a result, baseball players are able to sustain their energy throughout the course of the game, unlike other sports, in which the participant would need to have previously ingested energy and have it ready to burn at the start of the activity.”

In the study’s conclusion, NAHG cited the increasing length of baseball games as a possible reason for players wanting to eat more. For example, they observed several relievers eating high-cal meal replacement bars during games, seemingly more out of boredom than anything else. They also admitted the data was skewed due to the presence of Prince Fielder and CC Sabathia, both of whom discretely eat full meals between innings, sometimes two or three times per game.

Most of the professional baseball world was not especially surprised or excited by the NHG’s findings.

“As long as it’s not about steroids, I’m relieved and don’t care enough to comment,” MLB Commissioner Bud Selig said over the phone.

ESPN anchor and former Phillies first baseman John Kruk, however, embraced the study’s frankness about the real physical effort required to play a game of baseball.

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” he said of the study. “I spent years of my life catching flack for not treating my body like an athlete would despite being an MLB player. Turns out I burn more calories sitting on my ass not eating while I anchor for Baseball Tonight than I ever did when I actually played baseball. Who’s laughing now?

Buzzsaw Sports Guy: A Satirical look at sports

http://www.buzzsawmag.org/2011/03/24/buzzsaw-sports-guy-study-average-major-league-baseball-player-gains-15-calories-over-course-of-game/

Fail

[Clipper Nation]

Lot of floptrot fans on damage control in this thread tbh. All I see is " fatball this, fatball that " and posts about grown men's ting habits, but nothing exciting about the sport they're trying to prop up...

They can't even defend their garbage-ass "sport" and they know it, so they have to attack real sports.

[DAF86]

The Northern American Health Group unveiled research last week demonstrating that Major League ballplayers usually consume enough food and caloric beverages to make them gain more calories than they burn during an average game. NAHG stated that this was a surprise find, and that they by no means set out to point out the minimal physical effort baseball players need to put forth to start and complete games.

The study found that Major League players spend most of their games sitting, standing, spitting and adjusting their cups, none of which cons ute what the NAHG classifies as “strenuous activity” that would burn calories at a higher rate. The study found that far smaller amounts of game time were spent doing more active things, such as walking, jogging lightly and running. During the 2010 regular season, NAHG found that starting position players spent an average 34 seconds of game time sprinting. Sports data analysts found that MLB games lasted an average 2 hours and 52 minutes in 2009.

“I feel the need to clarify that figure though because it can be misleading,” NAHG president John Grogan said. “That number, 34 seconds, may seem small and believable, but it is actually higher than the overall average. It doesn’t take into account the starting pitchers who are sitting on the bench because it’s not their day of the rotation. It also doesn’t include the relievers, most of whom just sit out there all game, maybe throw a few pitches, but that’s it. Plus, there’s all the reserve players who ride the bench and never get to do anything.”

But even sitting still, on average, burns a bit over 100 calories per hour. So to be gaining calories, that means ballplayers are constantly replenishing their systems with some form of nourishment. The NAHG study effectively analyzed the burning and consumption of calories by the players, finding that most of them eat and drink enough to come out on the plus side.

“During any normal game, Major League players have plenty of time to consume, and they take full advantage of that opportunity,” Grogan said. “A lot of them chew sugary gum, drink Gatorade or eat sunflower seeds, all of which have a higher calorie content than most people realize. As a result, baseball players are able to sustain their energy throughout the course of the game, unlike other sports, in which the participant would need to have previously ingested energy and have it ready to burn at the start of the activity.”

In the study’s conclusion, NAHG cited the increasing length of baseball games as a possible reason for players wanting to eat more. For example, they observed several relievers eating high-cal meal replacement bars during games, seemingly more out of boredom than anything else. They also admitted the data was skewed due to the presence of Prince Fielder and CC Sabathia, both of whom discretely eat full meals between innings, sometimes two or three times per game.

Most of the professional baseball world was not especially surprised or excited by the NHG’s findings.

“As long as it’s not about steroids, I’m relieved and don’t care enough to comment,” MLB Commissioner Bud Selig said over the phone.

ESPN anchor and former Phillies first baseman John Kruk, however, embraced the study’s frankness about the real physical effort required to play a game of baseball.

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” he said of the study. “I spent years of my life catching flack for not treating my body like an athlete would despite being an MLB player. Turns out I burn more calories sitting on my ass not eating while I anchor for Baseball Tonight than I ever did when I actually played baseball. Who’s laughing now?

But seriously though, that's sad.

[DAF86]

Buzzsaw Sports Guy: A Satirical look at sports

http://www.buzzsawmag.org/2011/03/24/buzzsaw-sports-guy-study-average-major-league-baseball-player-gains-15-calories-over-course-of-game/

Fail

Having to clarify it's fake. Still pretty sad.

P/S: link doesn't work.

[Clipper Nation]

Having to clarify it's fake. Still pretty sad.

Povertyball fans are dumb enough to fall for fake news... ain't no spinning that , tbh.

[DAF86]

Povertyball fans are dumb enough to fall for fake news... ain't no spinning that , tbh.

Fix that link son or I'm going with lefty. Seems more plausible, tbh.

[FkLA]

"The only reason why I'm fat is because I have the option to stuff my mouth with mcnuggets and Triple bacon burgers" - fathands.

[Clipper Nation]

Fix that link son or I'm going with lefty. Seems more plausible, tbh.

http://www.buzzsawmag.org/2011/03/24...ourse-of-game/

[Robz4000]

Link works fine for me.

falling for FAKE NEWS

[lefty]

It's no wonder CN voted Trump tbh

[Kim Jong-il]

They can't even defend their garbage-ass "sport" and they know it, so they have to attack real sports.

they have to play stupid with the "walkoffs = walking " can'ta-speaka-de-engleesh bads to save face.

[Kim Jong-il]

Link works fine for me.

falling for FAKE NEWS

more self ownage by the Drug Mule Kickball Crew. Must be tough to pay attention to real sports when you're getting drug condoms shoved up your ass, therefore just watch the simplest bull on earth to cope.

[Splits]

Tigers-White Sox opener in Chicago postponed because of rain

I'm sure all of those thousands of people had fun sitting around for 3 hours before the game was called

Don't worry, in this "sport" you can play a "double-header", two games in a single day!

[hater]

Why cant fatball teams play under the rain? Are they afraid they will melt like the Pillsbury Doughboy in Ghostbusters?

Incompetent fat pieces of

[Clipper Nation]

It's no wonder CN voted Trump tbh

Well, yeah. I back winners, like baseball and Trump. You back losers, like povertyball and Hillary.