JIRA is for cucks

[Mark Celibate]

I'm talking about that g@y ticketing system used in software development and (usually incorrectly) in IT.

If you are a man, and you have actually taken the time to learn and 'master' () any kind of f@ggy ticketing system, then put the cuck cage on and off yourself already. Sitting in the cuck chair at Super 8, doing a bunch of pointless updates on tickets, while your wife is getting filled by Jamal five feet away from you.

HUHUHUHUHU BUT MUH FLOW CHARTS MUH DEPENDENCIES, MUH RELEASES, MUH AGILE! stfu, and kill yourself g0t...it's all a Jewish psyop to humiliate you into more emasculating busy work.

My theory is that JIRA and all these other pointless over-complicated garbage ticketing systems are a combination of humiliation rituals for men and feminist tools to invent bullsh1t "tech" jobs for women to nagmaxx the engineers doing the actual work. Jobs like "scrum master", "product manager", and "business analyst". Give me a f*cking break. Tools that spit out useless rainbow colored graphs and flowery flow charts for women to nag you over and regurgitate to upper management. I don't have time for this nonsense. Old school emails and spreadsheets are still the masculine go-to for providing updates.

If you are a man, and you are forced to learn this g0try crap, my best advice is to weaponize your incompetence. Don't waste a single second or brain cell trying to learn this garbage. Play dumb and let the empowered woman have to teach and re-teach you everytime you're required to make a zillion updates in a bunch of different places. I'm at the top of my field, looked up to by millions across the world, and still refuse to learn it.

[Millennial_Messiah]

100%.

Jira, Agile, Jenkins, DevOps etc is all gotry fluff and excuse to give illegal aliens from India American jobs. Globalist oligopolic cuckoldry at its finest.

[Mark Celibate]

100%.

Jira, Agile, Jenkins, DevOps etc is all gotry fluff and excuse to give illegal aliens from India American jobs. Globalist oligopolic cuckoldry at its finest.

Unfathomably based tbh

I always thought learning automation tooling was overrated tbh. When needed, stuff like Jenkins, Ansible, Terraform etc is pretty easy to learn on a whim. Plus, all the do entation under the sun is pretty much out there for even the lowest common denominator Pajeet to copy/paste. IMO, in 2024 it's time to drop the fancy tools and learn the fundamentals at an expert level in order to "outrun" AI. If you're not at the architect level within the next 2-3 years, you're screwed tbh

[Millennial_Messiah]

Unfathomably based tbh

I always thought learning automation tooling was overrated tbh. When needed, stuff like Jenkins, Ansible, Terraform etc is pretty easy to learn on a whim. Plus, all the do entation under the sun is pretty much out there for even the lowest common denominator Pajeet to copy/paste. IMO, in 2024 it's time to drop the fancy tools and learn the fundamentals at an expert level in order to "outrun" AI. If you're not at the architect level within the next 2-3 years, you're screwed tbh

Nah, I'm just retired. I'm 30

[Millennial_Messiah]

If you are a man, and you have actually taken the time to learn and 'master' () any kind of f@ggy ticketing system, then put the cuck cage on and off yourself already. Sitting in the cuck chair at Super 8, doing a bunch of pointless updates on tickets, while your wife is getting filled by Jawal five feet away from you.

fify

Jamal is the old guy in the hoodie looking inside cars outside of said Super 8 at 2am looking to rob a pack of smokes or a stash of dope or something. Jawal is the one with the money who runs the super 8 and probably your PC too, and now your wife's egg just got fertilized by lentil curry tbh.

[Tyronn Lue]

My company uses that, I've never seen it myself. I try to stay away from that and SAP. I do use Tableau a little for presentations so I am probably at least quarter cuck.

[Millennial_Messiah]

My company uses that, I've never seen it myself. I try to stay away from that and SAP. I do use Tableau a little for presentations so I am probably at least quarter cuck.

nah, Tableau/PowerBI are generally ok, they're basically just excel-plus.

[Millennial_Messiah]

SAP

SAP Concur, although glitchy, is seemingly the only way to make tax free money from work.

[Mark Celibate]

Nah, I'm just retired. I'm 30

how ? Share the secret

[Millennial_Messiah]

how ? Share the secret

Got lucky during Covid and stacked a bunch of WFH jobs concurrently. Now covid is over I'm down to 1 and it's a huge company so fortunately I've flown under the radar to the extent where I've been essentially on the bench for 2 years now and earned full salary without having to do work other than compliance trainings and filling in timesheet once per month, but, it could literally end at any time and I don't expect it to last beyond this year. Either way, I'm essentially retired, covid was the lifeline for that. Was hoping for another 5+ years of covid and WFH but it is what it is.

[Tyronn Lue]

how ? Share the secret

It's easy. Just say you're retired on a forum. There. You're retired. Sloughing off at work isn't the same as being retired. He'll find that out soon enough.

[Millennial_Messiah]

It's easy. Just say you're retired on a forum. There. You're retired. Sloughing off at work isn't the same as being retired. He'll find that out soon enough.

If you got that million-plus in the bank, getting the axe isn't really a big deal.

[Monostradamus]

how ? Share the secret

Pretend to be rich on internet forums while you’re secretly an assistant night manager at a Denton Whataburger The Andy Method is foolproof tbh

[Millennial_Messiah]

Pretend to be rich on internet forums while you’re secretly an assistant night manager at a Denton Whataburger The Andy Method is foolproof tbh

Keep it up with the red herrings.

Can't even use the "Bed Bath & Beyond" one anymore, tbh, since they've been out of business for a year now.

[Millennial_Messiah]

Denton Whataburger's from 2014-2016 were the , though, especially considering back then there were coupons for those galore all over campus, and there were basically 3 within a mile or two radius on University boulevard (US-380).

[z0sa]

We used PowerBI for internal metrics, but I had to deal with JIRA tickets all the in time. There were es sitting there from the dinosaur age that were marked resolved and were anything but. JIRA seconded

[Mark Celibate]

Got lucky during Covid and stacked a bunch of WFH jobs concurrently. Now covid is over I'm down to 1 and it's a huge company so fortunately I've flown under the radar to the extent where I've been essentially on the bench for 2 years now and earned full salary without having to do work other than compliance trainings and filling in timesheet once per month, but, it could literally end at any time and I don't expect it to last beyond this year. Either way, I'm essentially retired, covid was the lifeline for that. Was hoping for another 5+ years of covid and WFH but it is what it is.

my n1gga, that's what Im talking about. N1gga we burdenmaxxing in here

[Tyronn Lue]

If you got that million-plus in the bank, getting the axe isn't really a big deal.

I don't know much but I do know a 30yo self made millionaire ain't spending all his time responding every poster on this forum.

[leemajors]

My company uses that, I've never seen it myself. I try to stay away from that and SAP. I do use Tableau a little for presentations so I am probably at least quarter cuck.

SAP is awesome. Use it every workday to edit orders.

[Mark Celibate]

^ this is the guy that founded JIRA or whatever. Basically proves my point. There's no way this guy's hobbies don't include running errands for the bull and regularly meditating in the cuck chair for long periods of time