The Dreaded Friends Zone

[spursincharge]

So a situation...

A girl and I used to work together from August of 2005 until May of 2007. We were hanging out all the time towards the end of 2006 and in January of 07 I tried to take the relationship further but she said it would be weird since we work together....

Now I live in a different city but visit SA almost every weekend. Her and I hang out everytime I'm down and we talk almost everyday...If I still have feelings for this girl, how do I bring this up without ruining the friendship?

Feel free to ask more specific questions if you need more info on the situation!

Any help (especially ladies) is much appreciated!

Thanks

[GoGatos.]

Sounds like she is using the Job excuse to keep from having sex with someone who has an odor. I can just see her now on another web forum.



Hi everyone I have a situation. There is this guy at work that has bad breath and a strange odor I think he wants to have sex with me but I don't know how to tell him no so he doesn't get his feelings hurt.

please help
thank you


A posters reply :tell him you don't feel right since you work with him and maybe he will start stalking someone else!


Face it dude! if this girl really wanted you?
you two would have had sex long ago move on already! :tu

[DeeBo]

in January of 07 I tried to take the relationship further


Thats the problem right there fool!
you let the ho take it to the next level, unless your a pimp? you aint got no game cuz. Ho's know when a man is desperate, and you sound like your hurting like a mo-fo dawg.
Why don't you go to church and find a real woman and stop whining like a bitch!

[Bizarro J.T.]

Face it brah u r in da friend zone for life with this ho. Do what JT would do in this situation, kill yourself :lmao

[Dex]

The best way to confront it without jeopardizing the friendship is probably to just tell her straight up. You don't have to break down and fess up or anything, but if you guys are as close as you claim to be, you should be able to catch her aside at some moment and tell her that you're interested in her as more than a friend...however you choose to do that.

The fact of the matter is, beating around the bush with the matter is probably gonna end one of two ways.
1) She won't ever catch the drift, will end up with some other guy, and your point will be moot.
2) Things will progress without ever really being defined, and if she isn't feeling the same way, then you'll probably end up finding out the hard way

You could just let the chips fall as they may and see where it goes, but that seems just as likely to miss as hit. Sometimes, you gotta put yourself out on a limb, and if your friend has her head straight, then I'm sure she'll at least be glad you were straight-forward about it. And at least you'll know where things stand.

[mavs>spurs2]

Next time you hang out or whatever, right as you depart just kiss her, and like you mean it. Then don't contact her, wait for her to contact you and see where the chips fall.

[Dex]

Or you could do that.

Ballsy, but it might work?

[mavs>spurs2]

Yea it takes balls but has worked from experience. The kiss may make her realize feelings she never knew she had, and sweep her off her feet at the same time

[baseline bum]

If she hasn't given it up by now, she never will. Pretty hard to get a chick when you're not aggressive with her from the get-go. The work thing is an excuse.

[MannyIsGod]

Give it up dude, she doens't like you in that way. If she did she woudln't have used an excuse like work. Its sooooooooooooooooooo obvious.

[Jimmy]

Manny is right!
And you other clowns did not read his original post. he said he already tried to take it to the next level. That means the vato already made his move and failed! Face it! there aren't any more chips to fall. The poker table is closed.
Besides why would a real woman want a man that had to go to a message board to help get in the first place? You want us to tell you how to get rid of her after she has a baby later on from your best friend also?

I suggest you move on and find another victim or your going to end up like Buddy Holly alone in some motel room jerking off to a street map of San Antonio. :lmao

[GEICO Caveman]

Dude don't mix love and work. Ever. It always ends bad.

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

Yup, you're friendzoned for life unless she wakes up to you on her own... and that only ever happens in stupid fucking Hollywood movies.

Move on.

[GEICO Caveman]

What happened to the glory days when a man didn't play these stupid mind games with himself? When I was young, if you wanted a woman, you went out and got her.

[monosylab1k]

stand outside her bedroom in a trench coat, and hold a boombox over your head that's playing Peter Gabriel.

[mrsmaalox]

It's funny that no ladies have replied so far!! Not much you can do really but just come right out and tell her what's on your mind. I know I often misread people or don't pick up on cues, and then later I'm floored by what they really meant; so it's best to lay it out. Once she understands, tell her you'll follow her lead either way but ask her for honesty and no games. The "Friends Zone" is not a bad place necessarily; something that develops over a little time is more fun and exciting (for me at least) than something that starts out hot and heavy. Good luck! :)

[thispego]

sneak into her bathroom, snag her hairbrush, remove the loose hair, make a hair doll, give her the hair doll. She will LOVE it.

[stretch]

Next time you hang out or whatever, right as you depart just kiss her, and like you mean it. Then don't contact her, wait for her to contact you and see where the chips fall.

:tu

never thought i would actually give you props, but this does work

[stretch]

The best way to confront it without jeopardizing the friendship is probably to just tell her straight up. You don't have to break down and fess up or anything, but if you guys are as close as you claim to be, you should be able to catch her aside at some moment and tell her that you're interested in her as more than a friend...however you choose to do that.

The fact of the matter is, beating around the bush with the matter is probably gonna end one of two ways.
1) She won't ever catch the drift, will end up with some other guy, and your point will be moot.
2) Things will progress without ever really being defined, and if she isn't feeling the same way, then you'll probably end up finding out the hard way

You could just let the chips fall as they may and see where it goes, but that seems just as likely to miss as hit. Sometimes, you gotta put yourself out on a limb, and if your friend has her head straight, then I'm sure she'll at least be glad you were straight-forward about it. And at least you'll know where things stand.

that would be the best way to go about it.

[johnsmith]

Take her out, get her lamblasted, and things should go smoothly from there.

[monosylab1k]

cut your arm, then break into her house and put the bloody knife next to her while she is sleeping. that way when she wakes up she'll realize that you love her so much it hurts.

[stretch]

Manny is right!
And you other clowns did not read his original post. he said he already tried to take it to the next level. That means the vato already made his move and failed! Face it! there aren't any more chips to fall. The poker table is closed.

Not true, because most girls dont know what the hell they want. what you and manny said may be true in some cases, but not all. i remember thispego saying in another post a while back, guys who talk about women in absolutes obviously dont know women. they are random as can be.

fact is, this guy needs to find a way to again express his feelings for her. at the same time, it would be easier for us to analyze the situation more if he gave us more details of their initial conversation that he had with her when she first said no.

[stretch]

So a situation...

A girl and I used to work together from August of 2005 until May of 2007. We were hanging out all the time towards the end of 2006 and in January of 07 I tried to take the relationship further but she said it would be weird since we work together....

Now I live in a different city but visit SA almost every weekend. Her and I hang out everytime I'm down and we talk almost everyday...If I still have feelings for this girl, how do I bring this up without ruining the friendship?

Feel free to ask more specific questions if you need more info on the situation!

Any help (especially ladies) is much appreciated!

Thanks

what do yall do when yall hang out?

what do yall talk about?

how does she act when around you?

what was in the conversation you had when she first said no?

[thispego]

Not true, because most girls dont know what the hell they want. what you and manny said may be true in some cases, but not all. i remember thispego saying in another post a while back, guys who talk about women in absolutes obviously dont know women. they are random as can be.

stretch has been paying attention :tu

but dont listen to me, i dont know shit about women

[Vinnie_Johnson]

Give it up dude, she doens't like you in that way. If she did she woudln't have used an excuse like work. Its sooooooooooooooooooo obvious.

Plus 1. She just used the work thing so she wouldn't hurt your feelings. Go find a nice ugly chick who wants you.

[stretch]

stretch has been paying attention :tu

but dont listen to me, i dont know shit about women

its true though. most women never know what they want, thus leading to random choices and strange desicion making.

[thispego]

women let their hormones make the decisions for them

[spursincharge]

what do yall do when yall hang out?

what do yall talk about?

how does she act when around you?

what was in the conversation you had when she first said no?

Sometimes movies...sometimes drinks...went to the mall last week....

She acts comfortable...

I asked one of her friends about us -- and she said...I'm not sure if she likes your or not but she definitely acts differently around you...

She said...I don't think it would work since work together (which we no longer do).

[thispego]

avoid this bitch during her menstrual periods and try to make your move just as her menstrual cycle is ending. trust me, she will be much more receptive. Of course you'd have to be pretty damn close to know the schedule of her menses

[stretch]

Sometimes movies...sometimes drinks...went to the mall last week....

She acts comfortable...

I asked one of her friends about us -- and she said...I'm not sure if she likes your or not but she definitely acts differently around you...

She said...I don't think it would work since work together (which we no longer do).

:tu that is a major positive.

do either of yall act flirty with one another?

[monosylab1k]

invite her to your local adult theater and see if she responds. tell her you'll bring a plastic cover so that she doesn't have to sit on the dirty seats.

[spursincharge]

:tu that is a major positive.

do either of yall act flirty with one another?

Yeah...Like I said the only reason I haven't gone for it is cause I don't want to ruin the relationship

[stretch]

Yeah...Like I said the only reason I haven't gone for it is cause I don't want to ruin the relationship

well technically there is no relationship yet :lol, but i think you are in. :toast

ive been in these situations a few times. failed and succeeded. fact is, you gotta be honest with her before its too late.

how does she respond to you when you act flirty with her?

[CosmicCowboy]

Sounds like you are screwed. If she wanted you that way it would have already happened and she's already said no once...if you are absolutely determined to proceed then you might want to slip her a roofy before you make your move.

[Cheese]

Hopefully you dont still work with her:Rule of thumb."Never shit where you eat"..

If not, heres some advice..

Gonna take a certain level of being cocky and funny.And not just one or the other.Tease her.She has to feel a gut level attraction.If not you may as well forget it.

Comedy wins every single time.

[stretch]

Hopefully you dont still work with her:Rule of thumb."Never shit where you eat"..

If not, heres some advice..

Gonna take a certain level of being cocky and funny.And not just one or the other.Tease her.She has to feel a gut level attraction.If not you may as well forget it.

Comedy wins every single time.

yup. humor always wins. the cocky factor is extremely important too, but you gotta know where to draw the line both ways. dont wanna come across as a soft pushover, but dont wanna come across as a total dickhead either. perhaps confidence is the best term to use.

[mavs>spurs2]

Stretch is right, women love confidence, as long as you're not overbearing or obnoxious.

[Cheese]

yup. humor always wins. the cocky factor is extremely important too, but you gotta know where to draw the line both ways. dont wanna come across as a soft pushover, but dont wanna come across as a total dickhead either. perhaps confidence is the best term to use.

Exactly.W'ere not talking dickhead cocky or too much humor.Too much of one of the other is excessive and makes you seem insecure or trying too hard...Women notice things that we don't, and are truly precise when it comes to men.

Makes a world of difference when you know whats going on with the ladies..

[Cheese]

And if she considers you just a "friend",you can forget it.Women dont sleep with their "friends"....It can also be real tough to get out of that "friend" zone too if you know what I mean..

Attraction is key.

[baseline bum]

My best advice is to get a really good job and an expensive car.

[mavs>spurs2]

:lol

[mavs>spurs2]

My best advice is to get a really good job and an expensive car.

or a 12 inch dick!

[Cheese]

Don't even really need that..As long as she wants HIM there's nothing she can do about it.

Just like I like oreo cookies, there isn't anything I can do about it.Same thing here..

Attraction isn't a choice.Its all about how you make women "feel".There's a lot of average salaried men that date a lot of fine ass women out there.

[stretch]

Attraction isn't a choice.Its all about how you make women "feel".There's a lot of average salaried men that date a lot of fine ass women out there.

couldn't have said it better myself.

[monosylab1k]

The Three Rules

1. Be Handsome
2. Be Attractive
3. Don't Be Unattractive

[stretch]

anyways, here is how I will sum it up from my point of view...

Eventually if you want this to go somewhere, obviously you have to let her know how you feel. But at the same time, I understand the situation is hard and you dont want to potentially mess things up. So it would be a good idea to kinda make things a little more obvious so that it doesn't end up catching her too off guard, and so you can get a better read on how comfortabel she really feels about you. Make it obvious you have feelings for her by the way you act around her. Be yourself, but start being a little flirtier with her. Sometimes look at her and smile at her as if you adore her like nothing else. Try being touchy with her from time to time (not feeling on her in a sexual way or anything, but make physical contact with her periodically and make its seem natural and comfortable). Be a gentleman, but dont overdo it and come across as fake or like you are TRYING to be a gentleman. Treat her well. Make sure she knows you cherish her and knows that she can depend on you for anything she needs. If you feel like she seems comfortable with you doing all that, then you need to sit down with her one night and have a little conversation about it, tell her your feelings and your opinion on the matter, and wish for the best.

IMO - I think you are definitley on her mind and have a very good chance at winning with her. Just play your cards right, be yourself, treat her well, and you should be golden. :toast

[Vinnie_Johnson]

Not trying to be a jerk at all but do guys really just want to hang out with chicks for no reason? I mean come on girls unless were gay there is always a reason we want to hang out. Does she maybe feel your gay? Not saying you are but could that be a reason she likes to hang out with you?

[Vinnie_Johnson]

I really like you your like a brother to me.

[Big Worm]

As long as she wants oreo cookies,

Ok I'm in,............ who's the other brotha?

[Big Worm]

Go find a nice ugly chick who wants you.

Best advise so far! :lmao

[baseline bum]

I really like you your like a brother to me.

That's when you drop your pants and tell her you're from West Virginia.

[mrsmaalox]

:lmao This is a very funny thread!

[Borosai]

Simple: work up a number 6 on her.

She definitely won't be your friend after that.

[Chief]

Pretty easy, if your really interested in her, and she doesn't return the interest, do something to spike up her interest.

I recommend you ask another female friend whom she does not know to help you make her jealous. She won't realize what she's missing until well, your actually missing.

**oh it'll help if someone whispers "shallow hal likes a gal" in your ear before u start this whole adventure**

[Chief]

btw, i hope your not the one alway's calling her when ur in town to make plans. don't be so available.

[leemajors]

so it's best to lay it out.

whipping it out is always good. i would combine this with being naked under the trenchcoat mono mentioned. if she's an RHCP fan, throw a sock in the mix.

[baseline bum]

Simple: work up a number 6 on her.

She definitely won't be your friend after that.

Number 6? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one.

[baseline bum]

whipping it out is always good. i would combine this with being naked under the trenchcoat mono mentioned. if she's an RHCP fan, throw a sock in the mix.

Unless it's an ankle sock. Then you're screwed.

[Chief]

Number 6? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one.

has to do either with the gun thread or golf

[The Franchise]

Stop making her so important in your life. If your spending money on her stop. If your checking on her all the time make it every few months. Go find other girls to date.Treat her like a guy friend and give her all the details of your nasty little adventures. If you are such a great friend then maybe you should make her realize that by giving her the no frills package. I've found that the less interested you are the more they want you. Women are retarded that way. Good is not good enough unless they can't have it.

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

Simple: work up a number 6 on her.

She definitely won't be your friend after that.

If you really like her invite her to the #6 Dance afterwards.

[Findog]

stand outside her bedroom in a trench coat, and hold a boombox over your head that's playing Peter Gabriel.

That also only works in the movies.

[HighLowLobForBig-50]

Stop making her so important in your life. If your spending money on her stop. If your checking on her all the time make it every few months. Go find other girls to date.Treat her like a guy friend and give her all the details of your nasty little adventures. If you are such a great friend then maybe you should make her realize that by giving her the no frills package. I've found that the less interested you are the more they want you. Women are retarded that way. Good is not good enough unless they can't have it.

best advice so far. i know you think highly of her , but certain women will use a situation for the attention. They love it and cant get enough . Especially if they know youre not bold enough to try and mess things up. I say either do the "just kiss her out of nowhere thing" or take the franchises advice.

I would do both

[Dex]

I can't help but notice that the only female to offer advice in this post echoed my sentiments. But leave that for what it's worth.

It's really just a matter of do you REALLY want to protect the friendship, and approach it the communicative way?

Or is a relationship more important to where you're willing to take the risk and put yourself out on a limb, hoping she'll go for it. More volatile, but I can't argue, just as likely to work. Also likely to blow up in your face.

Either way, you're gonna have to nut up and let her know what's happening somehow, or you're probably gonna miss the train.

[monosylab1k]

This is foolproof, just out of the blue at dinner make the "peace sign" and stick your tongue between those fingers and start mimicking some oral. Don't stop till your entire hand is covered in saliva. Then just look at her and say "oh yeah......you like that huh?" and sit back real cool.

[mrsmaalox]

:bang :lmao :bang

[Borosai]

Number 6? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one.

http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/5826/blazingsaddles1974avi00mp5.jpg

I'll just stop there. :lol

[GEICO Caveman]

If she has a dog or cat, kidnap it and hide it at a friends house. Then when you call her and she is all depressed, ask what's wrong and act like you honestly want to know. There's two types of crying, the jump to conclusions crying, when they get too emotional over some small thing, like a cat running away, and the oh shit this might be serious crying. Examples of the latter would be rape, impregnated by a Blackanese midget, she ran out of hairspray...I could go on but you get the picture.

Anyway, she will tell you the dog/cat ran away, so you go over to help her find it. Waste about five hours looking for the critter and then text message your friend to bring it to a secret location near where you are. Go retrieve the animal and bring it back. She will go nuts for you after that.

Trust me brah I saw it in a movie, it has to work.

[The Franchise]

:lmao:lmao best advice so far Woody!!!

[Vinnie_Johnson]

:lmao
If she has a dog or cat, kidnap it and hide it at a friends house. Then when you call her and she is all depressed, ask what's wrong and act like you honestly want to know. There's two types of crying, the jump to conclusions crying, when they get too emotional over some small thing, like a cat running away, and the oh shit this might be serious crying. Examples of the latter would be rape, impregnated by a Blackanese midget, she ran out of hairspray...I could go on but you get the picture.

Anyway, she will tell you the dog/cat ran away, so you go over to help her find it. Waste about five hours looking for the critter and then text message your friend to bring it to a secret location near where you are. Go retrieve the animal and bring it back. She will go nuts for you after that.

Trust me brah I saw it in a movie, it has to work.

[David Wooderson]

You know what your problem is? You're puttin' the pussy on a pedestal.

[Chief]

This is foolproof, just out of the blue at dinner make the "peace sign" and stick your tongue between those fingers and start mimicking some oral. Don't stop till your entire hand is covered in saliva. Then just look at her and say "oh yeah......you like that huh?" and sit back real cool.

:lol


You know what your problem is? You're puttin' the pussy on a pedestal.

:lol:lol:lol:lol

[David Wooderson]

VJnIWLTneKY

[GEICO Caveman]

VJnIWLTneKY

Good advice until you find out Kashmir isn't on Zep IV.

[Mike Damone]

VJnIWLTneKY

:madrun you stole my line, bro!

[BRHornet45]

son I suggest taking her out to get drunk and give it one more try, but don't BS around. If she still uses the friends or work excuse then just drop the broad like a bad habit and never talk to her again. you will just be wasting your time. no need to drive yourself crazy over one chicken head. the main problem is that you didn't try and hit that shit earlier on. son why did you wait over a year to "take the relationship further"?

[GEICO Caveman]

son I suggest taking her out to get drunk and give it one more try, but don't BS around. If she still uses the friends or work excuse then just drop the broad like a bad habit and never talk to her again. you will just be wasting your time. no need to drive yourself crazy over one chicken head. the main problem is that you didn't try and hit that shit earlier on. son why did you wait over a year to "take the relationship further"?

No he messed it up so bad that an old fashioned boozing won't do anything to lower her defenses. It's down to date rape or brainwashing, and even then this ho still might not let him in.

The best thing to do is get plastic surgery on your face and change your name, then start over the right way.

[TwAnKiEs]

VXMgIXqdFUY



good luck ..... :toast