PDA

View Full Version : Observations from a day at Sea World



johnsmith
07-20-2008, 08:33 AM
Yesterday marked the first, only, and last time I'll ever go to that amusement park and I noticed a few things that I thought I'd share with the spurstalk community. They are as followed:

1) We are the fattest bunch of fucks to ever walk the planet. If you sat there on a bench and just watched, every second person is overweight and every third person is morbidly obese. The children of these fat ass parents are also obese thanks to sharing two turkey legs between two 55 lb 1 year olds.

These fat people not only don't care about themselves, but they don't care about other people around them. I watched one fat lady walk outside of one of the "shows" and in a giant crowd of people she just stops flat out, causes a fat person traffic jam, because she needed to finish her dippin' dots (which on a side note, pretty much kick ass, that was the first time I ever actually tried those things). She had them all over her face and chest. This lady had to be 350 lbs, and just stood their, blocking EVERYONE!

2) Parents these days are raising the brattiest, ill-behaving children to walk the Earth because these said parents, are themselves fucking idiots. I watched some demonstration yesterday in which Sea World employees were holding a python, and then some giant lizard thing. About eight of the kids watching run up to "pet" these animals while the Sea World officials are trying to politely convince these kids that they shouldn't be petting these animals. I felt so bad for the employees because God forbid they discipline these ugly little kids because then their twat 30 something, lazy, treehugging parents would be an uproar because no one discipline's their kids, not even them.

I actually watched one of the little boys, who was the weirdest looking 6-7 year old I've ever seen thanks to his mutant parents, go up to the lizard, have the employee say no touching and the little kid says, "why?" and won't sit down and gets an attitude with the employee. Do you have any idea what my Dad would have done to me if I acted like that in public? Here is the best part though, the kids mom is in the back laughing and pointing her kid out to all the other 30 something soccer mom's that live in a constant state of financial debt.

3.) Sea World in general, sucks ass.


4.) Large groups of black folk are indeed the loudest species on Earth.


5.) Old Mexican ladies should walk faster.


6.) When will redneck hillbilly white trash learn that if you just trade the $25 dollar nascar shirt for a $10 collared shirt it will class you up 50%, well, provided you cut off that stupid fucking rat tail you've been sporting since 1985 and now force your children to wear the same.

7.) Lines no longer mean anything. I guess nowadays you can just cut in front of whomever you want at this point and it doesn't make a bit of difference because hey, you are you.



Seriously, the worst thing about yesterday was the kids. Not so much the kids rather then their parents. For those of you that have children between the ages of 0-10, did you just choose to not teach your kids anything or were they born the demon seed of satan?

Honestly, when that one little kid went up to the lizard and popped off to the employee, I was sort of hoping that the lizard would mess the kid up a bit. Not permanent damage, but enough to emotionally scar him for life just so the parent would feel like a jackass for sitting on her fat ass and laughing as though her kid is so cute. Of course this bitch would have just sued the park because she is an incompetent parent and is probably raising a High School shooter.

All in all, the day confirmed something I already knew, I hate parents and kids.........so that pretty much covers everyone in that godforsaken hell hole.

SrA Husker
07-20-2008, 08:48 AM
Sadly, you're dead on.

Clandestino
07-20-2008, 12:18 PM
I think Sea World is pretty cool... and I usually go to watch the animals and not the people.

I. Hustle
07-20-2008, 12:25 PM
Do I have an alter ego? Did i write that?!

InRareForm
07-20-2008, 12:28 PM
You had to go to Seaworld to figure that out?

baseline bum
07-20-2008, 12:53 PM
Kids suck because they're stupid.

TheSanityAnnex
07-20-2008, 01:28 PM
true

Avitus1
07-20-2008, 02:01 PM
If you take out the parts about Sea World you could go to a mall or a movie theater and figure most of that stuff out.

Jimcs50
07-20-2008, 04:33 PM
I love Sea World.

I went there last weekend and had a great time.

I guess you do not like animals....that is the only explanation.

Anti.Hero
07-20-2008, 04:54 PM
I avoid masses of people like the plague. Pretty much dead on OP.

phyzik
07-20-2008, 06:42 PM
Im quite confident that any walmart in San Antonio can top that.

Fillmoe
07-20-2008, 06:47 PM
i couldnt agree with you more.... im gonna beat my kids daily just for fun....

johnsmith
07-20-2008, 09:51 PM
I love Sea World.

I went there last weekend and had a great time.

I guess you do not like animals....that is the only explanation.


Alright, let me rephrase a bit, Sea World without people would be fine.

Maybe it was the fact that I was there for 8 fucking hours that put me over the top and made me want to punch a dolphin.

Sense
07-20-2008, 10:03 PM
Alright, let me rephrase a bit, Sea World without people would be fine.

Maybe it was the fact that I was there for 8 fucking hours that put me over the top and made me want to punch a dolphin.

do you have kids?

CuckingFunt
07-20-2008, 10:09 PM
do you have kids?

The hatred of children would lead me to assume that's a no. However, that does raise the large question of just what the fuck inspired an eight hour trip to Sea World.

Sense
07-20-2008, 10:14 PM
The hatred of children would lead me to assume that's a no. However, that does raise the large question of just what the fuck inspired an eight hour trip to Sea World.

I think he meant that he was at seaworld for 8 hours.

Ronaldo McDonald
07-20-2008, 10:14 PM
I personally don't think anybody whose annoying is really annoying. Fat, annoying people, selfish kids etc. are great for conversations, which are great for wasting time, which is what you do make the time b/w the time you are born and the time you die not go by so painfully slow. Going to Sea World and having an experience that apparently you'd like to have (your "idealistic" Sea World experience would) would suck, man.

monosylab1k
07-20-2008, 10:16 PM
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/96/249941924_66a0aec8f7.jpg

CuckingFunt
07-20-2008, 10:18 PM
I think he meant that he was at seaworld for 8 hours.

In the initial post, he mentions hating parents and children. This would lead me to assume that he does not have children.

Later, he mentions having spent eight hours at Sea World.

The question I'm asking is: if you don't have children, why would you go to Sea World for eight hours?

Ronaldo McDonald
07-20-2008, 10:19 PM
Alright, let me rephrase a bit, Sea World without people would be fine.

Maybe it was the fact that I was there for 8 fucking hours that put me over the top and made me want to punch a dolphin.

Sea World, without the people?

You want time alone with the animals?

That's disgusting.

ShoogarBear
07-20-2008, 10:21 PM
The question I'm asking is: if you don't have children, why would you go to Sea World for eight hours?

For the smell?

tlongII
07-20-2008, 10:22 PM
In the initial post, he mentions hating parents and children. This would lead me to assume that he does not have children.

Later, he mentions having spent eight hours at Sea World.

The question I'm asking is: if you don't have children, why would you go to Sea World for eight hours?

community service?

SAGambler
07-20-2008, 10:29 PM
Well, it's not just Sea World. Everywhere it seems like "kids gone wild". Very few people will dicipline a child these days. They are either too busy with their own bad selves, or they are certain they will scar the child for life if they call them down.

I'm certain if people had to pass a test to have a child, like they do to have a drivers license, there would be much fewer children in this world.

O-Factor
07-20-2008, 10:55 PM
LOL, Thats funny johnsmith. I was there yesterday also.

We took my nephew. As croweded as it was I got on all the thrill rides with ease, never had to wait over 5 minutes. The Anheiser Bush Bar was pretty cool also. Walking by it you could smell the sweet beer. The dipping dots are pretty damn good too.

But your assesment is pretty accurate as far as the people go. Some people have no shame when they should have all the shame in the world.

mrsmaalox
07-20-2008, 11:35 PM
The question I'm asking is: if you don't have children, why would you go to Sea World for eight hours?

It just doesn't make sense to me with or without kids; it was freaking 96 degrees yesterday! If I leave my house for more than an hour at a time lately, I pretty much end up hating everything.

curtismedellin
07-21-2008, 12:09 AM
It's funny cause every word is true.

cornbread
07-21-2008, 12:21 AM
I worked at Sea World for 4 seasons and in my job I saw people at their absolute worst.

From the view inside of the Shamu costume you will see adults who act like children and kids who act like the spawn of Satan himself.

cherylsteele
07-21-2008, 01:28 AM
Sea World, without the people?

You want time alone with the animals?

That's disgusting.
Maybe he is really Troy McClure.

Nbadan
07-21-2008, 02:31 AM
....Johnsmith is just a little bitch...

Shaolin-Style
07-21-2008, 03:15 AM
I echo the sentiment about the kids. And in general about Sea World. I don't care if people walk slow unless its like you said a fat person or just in general a crowd of people are just standing in the damn way.

My mom tells me I dislike kids. I tell her its the parents not keeping them on a leash being what bothers me.

Generally I like waterparks better anyway. If you can't have a Cartman Land, whats the point?

johngateswhiteley
07-21-2008, 03:37 AM
...i support this post. although, you needn't go to sea world to experience those gems.

Brutalis
07-21-2008, 03:40 AM
Never been but can imagine from just going to theme parks alone. However I have no problem parenting kids when their own will not. The words that fly out of my mouth during a fight usually send the parents packing quickly.

johnsmith
07-21-2008, 07:12 AM
The hatred of children would lead me to assume that's a no. However, that does raise the large question of just what the fuck inspired an eight hour trip to Sea World.

A company picnic. Still though, not sure why it would have taken 8 hours.

And no, I don't have kids.

johnsmith
07-21-2008, 07:12 AM
....Johnsmith is just a little bitch...

Wow, that was enlightening and helpful. Tell me Dan, has anything ever come out of your mouth or been posted on the internet that was useful to anyone?

johnsmith
07-21-2008, 07:13 AM
It just doesn't make sense to me with or without kids; it was freaking 96 degrees yesterday! If I leave my house for more than an hour at a time lately, I pretty much end up hating everything.

I think that was really the problem. It was way too fucking hot to be outside for that long. Even the people I was with were hated by me when I left.

Jimcs50
07-21-2008, 08:11 AM
Maybe it is just me, but I do not let the actions of others kill my buzz. I could care less how fat people are, or how badly the kids are acting, I just try to have fun....I mean, if I am going to spend $400, I am having fun, damnit.

lebomb
07-21-2008, 08:15 AM
:(

j-6
07-21-2008, 08:18 AM
At least said fat people and their ungrateful offspring are out getting exercise in the sun, walking around a massive theme park. They could be at home eating Haagen-Dazs on the couch and watching a Hairspray marathon while their kid is on a XBox killing spree.

johnsmith
07-21-2008, 09:10 AM
Maybe it is just me, but I do not let the actions of others kill my buzz. I could care less how fat people are, or how badly the kids are acting, I just try to have fun....I mean, if I am going to spend $400, I am having fun, damnit.

Good point too. Our tickets were free so I didn't really have anything "invested" in the day either.

Slydragon
07-21-2008, 10:23 AM
, and then some giant lizard thing.

Knock on everyone on that post and then say that. :nope
http://dsc.discovery.com/
http://animal.discovery.com/

Had you called it just a lizard or by what it really was, it....

will class you up 50%

johnsmith
07-21-2008, 02:22 PM
Knock on everyone on that post and then say that. :nope
http://dsc.discovery.com/
http://animal.discovery.com/

Had you called it just a lizard or by what it really was, it....

Had I given a fuck what it was, I would take the time to find out what the lizard thing was called.


It's the same as me saying you are a giant douche bag type thing.


Your post = fail

stretch
07-21-2008, 02:26 PM
Had I given a fuck what it was, I would take the time to find out what the lizard thing was called.


It's the same as me saying you are a giant douche bag type thing.


Your post = fail

hey douche

why did you back out of that game at the last second last night?

johnsmith
07-21-2008, 02:43 PM
hey douche

why did you back out of that game at the last second last night?

It just booted me, then it wouldn't let me back in. And since I have not patience, I gave up fairly quick.

stretch
07-21-2008, 02:56 PM
It just booted me, then it wouldn't let me back in. And since I have not patience, I gave up fairly quick.

lol cutler

to21
07-21-2008, 03:27 PM
:lmao at "fat person traffic jam"

If any stranger tried "parenting" my kids, they'd be picking up their teeth off the floor. I HATE going to Sea World for these very same reasons. However, I do it for my kids because they are well behaved and love to go.