what rediculously stupid stuff have you done?

[phyzik]

Have you ever done something so rediculous it could literally be a skit in a comedians show?

I'll start. I once had to take a crap so bad but I decided to weigh myself before and then after just to see how much my waste weighed. :lol

The scale didnt register a difference :depressed

[midgetonadonkey]

I was once having sex with a fat chick and when I turned her over she had a piece of toilet paper sticking out of her asshole. I ignored it, turned her back over and the finished.

That's one of hundreds of stupid stories I have.

[phyzik]

this thread could potentially revive the comedic career for Mouse...

[E20]

I shit my pants during the 5th grade while playing basketball during recess because I hate everybody's food before during lunch. Karma.

[marini martini]

I slid down the fire escape, at some GI'S barracks, at FSH, at 3 A.M.

[mrsmaalox]

I slid down the fire escape, at some GI'S barracks, at FSH, at 3 A.M.

Of course....:toast

[Viva Las Espuelas]

once i had to take a dump at a gas station. it was a quiktrip, so it was clean. well i was laying down the ass gaskets before i mounted. it just so happened their toilets were the ones that autoflushed. so i get the ass gaskets situated, turn around, unbutton my pants, about to place my ass on the seat and bah-osssshhhh. THE DAMN THING FLUSHES!!!!!! needless to say it took a couple of cycles of this to happen before i got it right. i was laughing about it towards the end and was looking for cameras everywhere.

[Kyle Smith]

I went back to my high school a few weeks after graduating and shit on it.

[Kyle Smith]

Rode on top of a car while it was doing 40 on a 15 mph road

[Kyle Smith]

Drove through an elementary school in a '71 VW van.

[Kyle Smith]

Tried to return a fish filet at McDonalds after taking a bite out of it.

[mrsmaalox]

Since this has taken a toilet turn: I got a new video camera for a trip to Hong Kong; now I'm not really a gadget person so I pretty much got an idiot proof one. During our first excursion, my friend Tammy and I went to the restroom at a restaurant that night. Then we went to a party and I insisted on showing everyone my videos. So after a few seconds I realized I had the camera on "pause" when I thought I was filming and had it "on" when I wanted it on pause. The toilet scene ended up showing my feet, then my pants and panties down around my legs, then I get up and move aside to view the toilet paper circling around and down the drain. Boy was I glad I didn't take a dump!!!

[RashoFan]

The most rediculously stupid thing I have done(but it is not funny enough for comedy)...




I wake up everyday....






....period.

[T Park]

I went back to my high school a few weeks after graduating and shit on it.

On the lawn, the building, what?

[Fillmoe]

on ur face

[iminlakerland]

i was at ikea about a year ago, and my friend had to use the restroom so i went with her (buddy system). Anywho i thought i didnt have to go, but when i got in there i had to pee so bad.

So i went into a stall and i didnt want to put my cell phone on the floor and her boyfriend had our purses...so i decided i would put the phone in my long sleeves, lay toilet cover down and do my business...

well needless to say when i went to flush...my phone plopped into the toilet, the toilet was automatic flush and down the toilet it went... That has been by far one of the stupidest things i've done.

[Brutalis]

I'm scared of public restrooms but this ache in my stomach was one of those cherry bomb feelings. So I stopped at the nearest place, it was some old gas station ran by Koreans. Well the bathroom was ghetto, and I didn't even check for tp before I shit. Well, I did my duty. Came out, bought some tp cause the fuckers didn't understand what I was saying. Went back in and standing over the toilet I dropped it... in the toilet. I said fuck this and popped open the door, grabbed some kind of shirt they was selling on the rack, went back in and wiped. Welllll I got home, and had that nice smell to me so I went to take a shower. As I got naked right before I stepped in I noticed in the mirror red streaks on my ass. So upon closer examination I realized that shirt was red I had whipped with and somehow between my sweaty dookie ass and the ink on that shirt I just painted my asshole red. It didn't go away for 2 weeks.

[Kyle Smith]

On the lawn, the building, what?

On the floor outside the front door

[DarkReign]

Welllll I got home, and had that nice smell to me so I went to take a shower. As I got naked right before I stepped in I noticed in the mirror red streaks on my ass. So upon closer examination I realized that shirt was red I had whipped with and somehow between my sweaty dookie ass and the ink on that shirt I just painted my asshole red. It didn't go away for 2 weeks.

:lmao

[lebomb]

I had a few too many drinks.......I walked into my bedroom closet to take off my clothes.......lost my balance and went face first into the wall. I wasn't coherent enough to even throw my hands out to stop my fall. I skinned the whole side of my face. Shit hurt like a somebiatch. I told everyone at work the next day that I fell trying to move my washer. :rolleyes I doubt they believed me. :lmao

[stretch]

i shit my pants at church because i was trying to fart to make someone laugh but i really had diarreah

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

I didn't do this, but in keeping with the "fun with feces" theme going I have to share it. A group of my buddies were hanging out and drinking at one of their houses while the parents were out of town. One of them thought farting was just the most awesome thing in the world. He'd rip loud ones in public as often as possible. Guys never wanted to sit or lay down on the couch when he was around because he'd try to fart in their faces if he got the chance. So after a few drinks the guy drops his pants and starts yelling how he wants his pals to see his asshole as he farts at them. It's pretty easy to see how this ended poorly. Seems the guy had one too many and had major league control issues. He dropped a huge brown puddle in the middle of the living room rug.

[monosylab1k]

here's another doo doo story:

Normally I'd never shit in a school restroom, but once in 8th grade I had some serious mud butt so I ran to the restroom and took a nice long filthy one. Didn't pay attention to the fact that some asshole had pissed all over the toilet paper. I decide against getting my tighty whities shitty, so with my pants around my ankles, I bunny-hop into the other stall. That TP roll is all pissed on too. So then I bunny-hop my way to the paper towel station, located right next to the door. As I'm furiously pulling out enough paper, some Mexican kid walks in, takes one look at me, says "what the fuck!" and walks back out. I go back to my stall and wipe. The end.

[midgetonadonkey]

One time I pissed in my closet thinking it was my restroom.

[fake4cc]

One time I pissed in my closet thinking it was my restroom.

what a stupid fuck

[remingtonbo2001]

One time I pissed in my closet thinking it was my restroom.

When I was 11, I went through a similar phase, except it wasn't my closet, it was my parents clothes drawer.


When I was 3, church services ended and as usual everyone headed outside to socialize. I proceeded to pull down my pants and started urinating on the church lawn, in front of everyone.

[Spuradicator]

I slept with my friends mom once........then a couple of years later I slept with his sister!

Its weird when Im around his family now.

[peewee's_lovechild]

I masturbated too hard watching The Dark Knight and hit the person in front of me in the back of the head.

[manufor3]

i hit a bee hive with a shovel, and while i was running and tripped into this huge pile of ants. worst day ever

[stretch]

i hit a bee hive with a shovel, and while i was running and tripped into this huge pile of ants. worst day ever

:lmao

[CuckingFunt]

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you people?

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

Stayed out for 14 hours on St. Patrick's Day.

Which led to...

Sleeping with a married woman in her kids racecar bed while her husband slept downstairs.

Don't you just love St. Patty's Day?

[Vinnie_Johnson]

Back in the room mate days I drank way too much one night got up to take the old 3am piss only to go into my roomies closet and piss. He was like WTF happened in my closet it smells like piss blamed it on his cat. I never told him.

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

There are so many stupid stories that I've forgotten.

Getting my head wedged in a pull down attic ladder with my feet off the floor, eating a bran muffin and drinking a 32 oz. coffee before hitting morning rush hour on 696, drinking beer out of a 5 gallon bucket, leaving a party and making the 3 hour drive to Cedar Point at 2:30 AM (doesn't open 'til 10), etc.

But the shit I usually beat myself up over is entering into situations when I have a pretty good idea the outcome isn't in my favor. Usually involves the other gender. So stupid and yet I do it over and over again. Damn vaginas.

[TheSanityAnnex]

I'll also stick with a poop story.

I was a freshman playing on the varsity golf team in high school and this one senior used to always talk shit, even though I beat him regularly. A few friends and I were high as hell driving around when one says he's got to shit. We pull over near the movie theaters and he shits behind some bushes. As he finishes he spots the seniors car in the movie parking lot, obviously on a date with his girlfriend. My friend scoops his shit up with a cd case and we casually walk over to his car, a two door accord. The poop is split evenly and applied underneath each door handle and then wiped clean. We saw him at golf practice the next day, he didn't say shit.

[Mr.Bottomtooth]

I'm scared of public restrooms but this ache in my stomach was one of those cherry bomb feelings. So I stopped at the nearest place, it was some old gas station ran by Koreans. Well the bathroom was ghetto, and I didn't even check for tp before I shit. Well, I did my duty. Came out, bought some tp cause the fuckers didn't understand what I was saying. Went back in and standing over the toilet I dropped it... in the toilet. I said fuck this and popped open the door, grabbed some kind of shirt they was selling on the rack, went back in and wiped. Welllll I got home, and had that nice smell to me so I went to take a shower. As I got naked right before I stepped in I noticed in the mirror red streaks on my ass. So upon closer examination I realized that shirt was red I had whipped with and somehow between my sweaty dookie ass and the ink on that shirt I just painted my asshole red. It didn't go away for 2 weeks.


i shit my pants at church because i was trying to fart to make someone laugh but i really had diarreah


I didn't do this, but in keeping with the "fun with feces" theme going I have to share it. A group of my buddies were hanging out and drinking at one of their houses while the parents were out of town. One of them thought farting was just the most awesome thing in the world. He'd rip loud ones in public as often as possible. Guys never wanted to sit or lay down on the couch when he was around because he'd try to fart in their faces if he got the chance. So after a few drinks the guy drops his pants and starts yelling how he wants his pals to see his asshole as he farts at them. It's pretty easy to see how this ended poorly. Seems the guy had one too many and had major league control issues. He dropped a huge brown puddle in the middle of the living room rug.


here's another doo doo story:

Normally I'd never shit in a school restroom, but once in 8th grade I had some serious mud butt so I ran to the restroom and took a nice long filthy one. Didn't pay attention to the fact that some asshole had pissed all over the toilet paper. I decide against getting my tighty whities shitty, so with my pants around my ankles, I bunny-hop into the other stall. That TP roll is all pissed on too. So then I bunny-hop my way to the paper towel station, located right next to the door. As I'm furiously pulling out enough paper, some Mexican kid walks in, takes one look at me, says "what the fuck!" and walks back out. I go back to my stall and wipe. The end.


i hit a bee hive with a shovel, and while i was running and tripped into this huge pile of ants. worst day ever


:lmao

[Heath Ledger]

I snorted a line of pixie sticks in the 8th grade, i highly reccomend it.

[Mr.Bottomtooth]

Once in 7th grade, after class I bolted for the bathroom because I needed to take a major shit & piss. I run in and go to the first toilet and am about to start the piss when I can't get my underwear down. I'm trying to get it down cause I know the piss is coming, and the moment I get it down, I'm pissing at full speed. When I'm almost done pissing, I notice I didn't pick up my shirt and have been pissing on it the whole time. I finish my business and haul ass to the gym lockers so I can switch my shirt with the shirt I usually wear for gym, covering my shirt with my backpack on the way over there. I switch shirts, throw the pissy one in the gym showers, get back to the next class on time, and avoid a lifetime of embarrassment. :tu And that was my least favorite shirt too, so it was kind of a plus.

[PuttPutt]

I got my friend evicted from his apartment after he had just lived there for a week. I was drunk & had to piss. And his girlfriend was in the bathroom. So, I whipped it out & started to pee off the balcony (3rd floor), just in time for me to piss all over him.

[thispego]

that story doesnt make sense

[xellos88330]

I stole some chocolate candy from a pharmacy when I was 6 (it was those chocolate laxative bars) and ate it, got the runs, went back to the store and stole another one a week later and got the runs again. Went back a third time after figuring out what it was and decided that God was pissed at me for stealing and paid for the laxatives that I had stole. Then bought another one.

Honestly, I would probably do it again. Those things tasted great.

[baseline bum]

My friends and I were going to the beach one day, and I was taunting them in the car with some particularly nasty gas. Well, one fart became wet, so I had to jump out of the car and wipe my ass with toilet paper right there on the street in front of hundreds of people at Redondo Beach. Needless to say, we decided to go about a mile further down to park. :lol

[J.T.]

Last year, I had gone to some dude's birthday party at this bad ass property up in north Austin. Took somewhere between 15 and 20 hits of acid before going out there. Ended up at some apartment where my friend, who was driving, decided he was too fucked up to drive home and we were given the host's permission to spend the night and leave in the morning. Being as this was a Saturday night during football season and spending the night there meant I was going to miss the Colts game the next day, I would not have this. One of the dudes in my group was leaving to continue partying, so I ran down the stairs to catch them before they left to see if I could get a ride back to San Marcos. They said I could, but I'd have to ride in the trunk of their Mustang since they already had a full house.

Talk about decisions you instantly regret.

So I climb into the trunk of this Mustang and am pretty much forced into the fetal position. The driver starts it up and starts playing Zeppelin at max volume with a speaker right next to my head. So far so good. We're only going from north Austin to around 37th or some shit like that so the drive should take no more than fifteen minutes. Everything goes pretty smoothly until they get onto the highway and start speeding. And I'm not talking about 80 in a 70. More like 120 in a 70. Possibly faster. I was always more of a Camaro guy so I don't know what a Mustang tops out at. I knew they were speeding but rationalized that my sense of how fast things were going was fucked up by my position in the vehicle relative to where it usually is when I'm in a vehicle, and the drugs I was on.

About the second I realize these fools are going way too fast, I start banging on the back seat from inside the trunk trying to get their attention. Didn't work. Music was too loud and they were all on MDMA anyway, including the driver. But the fun doesn't stop there. A minute or so later the dude bumps against the median twice, which triggers the 'fear for your life' reflex and I start freaking out and realizing that if they get into any kind of accident, I'm dying a painful death by about 17 fatal wounds all at the same time. I was able to calm myself down in there and ride it out until we got to where we were going. But got damn if that wasn't the dumbest thing I've ever done in my life.

[florige]

Last year, I had gone to some dude's birthday party at this bad ass property up in north Austin. Took somewhere between 15 and 20 hits of acid before going out there. Ended up at some apartment where my friend, who was driving, decided he was too fucked up to drive home and we were given the host's permission to spend the night and leave in the morning. Being as this was a Saturday night during football season and spending the night there meant I was going to miss the Colts game the next day, I would not have this. One of the dudes in my group was leaving to continue partying, so I ran down the stairs to catch them before they left to see if I could get a ride back to San Marcos. They said I could, but I'd have to ride in the trunk of their Mustang since they already had a full house.

Talk about decisions you instantly regret.

So I climb into the trunk of this Mustang and am pretty much forced into the fetal position. The driver starts it up and starts playing Zeppelin at max volume with a speaker right next to my head. So far so good. We're only going from north Austin to around 37th or some shit like that so the drive should take no more than fifteen minutes. Everything goes pretty smoothly until they get onto the highway and start speeding. And I'm not talking about 80 in a 70. More like 120 in a 70. Possibly faster. I was always more of a Camaro guy so I don't know what a Mustang tops out at. I knew they were speeding but rationalized that my sense of how fast things were going was fucked up by my position in the vehicle relative to where it usually is when I'm in a vehicle, and the drugs I was on.

About the second I realize these fools are going way too fast, I start banging on the back seat from inside the trunk trying to get their attention. Didn't work. Music was too loud and they were all on MDMA anyway, including the driver. But the fun doesn't stop there. A minute or so later the dude bumps against the median twice, which triggers the 'fear for your life' reflex and I start freaking out and realizing that if they get into any kind of accident, I'm dying a painful death by about 17 fatal wounds all at the same time. I was able to calm myself down in there and ride it out until we got to where we were going. But got damn if that wasn't the dumbest thing I've ever done in my life.





The trunk?? :lmao I would have to be on something uncut straight from Panama to get in someones trunk. Hell I hate getting into elevators much less someone's trunk.

[bigzak25]

damn JT, that's crazy...:lmao

[katyon6th]

Is bigzak that same person as bigzax??

[bigzak25]

yes, i'm bipolar and have different personalities that creep up from time to time...

[katyon6th]

Hm. For some reason, I don't believe you. Have we ever ran into eachother out in public before? If so, where?

[katyon6th]

The real big Zak would know this.

[desflood]

The real big Zak would know this.
You're making a big mistake that a lot of women make - assuming that a man, any man, will remember meeting you. Their memories are generally not that good.

[katyon6th]

You're making a big mistake that a lot of women make - assuming that a man, any man, will remember meeting you. Their memories are generally not that good.


Well, I'm pretty unforgettable.

[FatBeaner]

mouse's parking lot...you used to chill at truth and ginofan's apt...mouse would wax his carrot late at night peaking through the blinds...:tu

[JoeChalupa]

I haven't done anything wild or crazy in quite some time.

[katyon6th]

mouse's parking lot...you used to chill at truth and ginofan's apt...mouse would wax his carrot late at night peaking through the blinds...:tu

:spin

I believe you now.

[FatBeaner]

here is my rediculously stupid thing!

http://www.spurstalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=13853

[desflood]

Well, I'm pretty unforgettable.
Another assumption that a lot of women mistakenly make.


Please don't take that statement the wrong way :lol We haven't met, so I don't know if you are or not. It's just that a lot of chicks think they're unforgettable when the reality is the opposite.

[katyon6th]

Another assumption that a lot of women mistakenly make.


Please don't take that statement the wrong way :lol We haven't met, so I don't know if you are or not. It's just that a lot of chicks think they're unforgettable when the reality is the opposite.

Do you typically take things people say here so seriously?

[IronMexican]

I was dumb enough to wait a whole year for a broad.

[desflood]

Do you typically take things people say here so seriously?
Typically... about half the time. I understand, of course, that a lot of what goes on here is lighthearted fun, but your statement about being unforgettable came across as you taking yourself very seriously.

[BigZaksbackwindow]

here is my rediculously stupid thing!

http://www.spurstalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=13853


I remember that day like it was yesterday vato.

[marini martini]

Ok, here's a good one. I got into porn at like seven years old. Smoking weed and drinking Night Train was also introduced to me at seven. Really, I should be fucked mentally, but I turned out ok. By the time I'm 12, I had watched so much porn that I was an expert on sex, yet never had had sex before. All my buddies would come to me when they wanted to know something about girls, so I thought I was the man. One day it was a group of us watching porn, and I'm narrating the shit, dick semi-hard, remote in one hand, beer in the other hand. It gets to the part where the guy gets ready to nut, and he whips it out and nuts in her mouth, and I'm like, "yeah, look at that bitch cum, oooooooh." One of the guys was a few years older and asked, "how did you know she came." I'm like, rewind the shit, didn't you just see her cumming from her mouth. He said "that's nut from him, not her." I'm like "no its not, that's her cumming." Keep in mind, my education of sex came from watching porn. So now were in a full blown argument over whether or not a woman cums from her mouth or vagina. So the guy is like, "call your older brother, he knows," so I did. We get my brother on speaker phone, and I'm like, "yo bro, where does a woman cum from, her mouth right?" After laughing for a few seconds he says her pussy, dumb dumb, and everyone starts laughing out loud, and I'm like "wait, wait, wait, wait... ARE YOU SURE???"

Needless to say, I was totally embarrassed and made a fool of myself. I assumed for years that when a woman spits out the nut, she was cumming. If you've ever had one of those moments where you were watching tv, or listening to the radio, and the person sounded so stupid you actually changed the channel or turned it off. That was one moment when I wished I could have turned my life off.


Pretty funny story!!!!:lmao

Makes sense you're a Laker's Fan!!!:toast

[Death In June]

I put a stripper's titty in my mouth in mexico, which is only a bad idea because I later noticed other guys had done the same, and could see the spit of several other dudes gleaming off her chest. I felt like I should puke afterward, but I was just drunk enough to shrug it off.

[MaNuMaNiAc]

Ok, here's a good one. I got into porn at like seven years old. Smoking weed and drinking Night Train was also introduced to me at seven. Really, I should be fucked mentally, but I turned out ok. By the time I'm 12, I had watched so much porn that I was an expert on sex, yet never had had sex before. All my buddies would come to me when they wanted to know something about girls, so I thought I was the man. One day it was a group of us watching porn, and I'm narrating the shit, dick semi-hard, remote in one hand, beer in the other hand. It gets to the part where the guy gets ready to nut, and he whips it out and nuts in her mouth, and I'm like, "yeah, look at that bitch cum, oooooooh." One of the guys was a few years older and asked, "how did you know she came." I'm like, rewind the shit, didn't you just see her cumming from her mouth. He said "that's nut from him, not her." I'm like "no its not, that's her cumming." Keep in mind, my education of sex came from watching porn. So now were in a full blown argument over whether or not a woman cums from her mouth or vagina. So the guy is like, "call your older brother, he knows," so I did. We get my brother on speaker phone, and I'm like, "yo bro, where does a woman cum from, her mouth right?" After laughing for a few seconds he says her pussy, dumb dumb, and everyone starts laughing out loud, and I'm like "wait, wait, wait, wait... ARE YOU SURE???"

Needless to say, I was totally embarrassed and made a fool of myself. I assumed for years that when a woman spits out the nut, she was cumming. If you've ever had one of those moments where you were watching tv, or listening to the radio, and the person sounded so stupid you actually changed the channel or turned it off. That was one moment when I wished I could have turned my life off.

:lol

[balli]

Good shit on this topic right hur:
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?sched=1323

[koriwhat]

Well, I'm pretty unforgettable.

most women would like to believe they are.

[Hunter S. Thompson]

Last year, I had gone to some dude's birthday party at this bad ass property up in north Austin. Took somewhere between 15 and 20 hits of acid before going out there. Ended up at some apartment where my friend, who was driving, decided he was too fucked up to drive home and we were given the host's permission to spend the night and leave in the morning. Being as this was a Saturday night during football season and spending the night there meant I was going to miss the Colts game the next day, I would not have this. One of the dudes in my group was leaving to continue partying, so I ran down the stairs to catch them before they left to see if I could get a ride back to San Marcos. They said I could, but I'd have to ride in the trunk of their Mustang since they already had a full house.

Talk about decisions you instantly regret.

So I climb into the trunk of this Mustang and am pretty much forced into the fetal position. The driver starts it up and starts playing Zeppelin at max volume with a speaker right next to my head. So far so good. We're only going from north Austin to around 37th or some shit like that so the drive should take no more than fifteen minutes. Everything goes pretty smoothly until they get onto the highway and start speeding. And I'm not talking about 80 in a 70. More like 120 in a 70. Possibly faster. I was always more of a Camaro guy so I don't know what a Mustang tops out at. I knew they were speeding but rationalized that my sense of how fast things were going was fucked up by my position in the vehicle relative to where it usually is when I'm in a vehicle, and the drugs I was on.

About the second I realize these fools are going way too fast, I start banging on the back seat from inside the trunk trying to get their attention. Didn't work. Music was too loud and they were all on MDMA anyway, including the driver. But the fun doesn't stop there. A minute or so later the dude bumps against the median twice, which triggers the 'fear for your life' reflex and I start freaking out and realizing that if they get into any kind of accident, I'm dying a painful death by about 17 fatal wounds all at the same time. I was able to calm myself down in there and ride it out until we got to where we were going. But got damn if that wasn't the dumbest thing I've ever done in my life.

:tu

[katyon6th]

Typically... about half the time. I understand, of course, that a lot of what goes on here is lighthearted fun, but your statement about being unforgettable came across as you taking yourself very seriously.

Not so much. But you thinking that doesn't bother me. As you mentioned, you don't know me.


And BigZak remembered meeting me. So, there we go.