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View Full Version : A Man. A Hammer. Some Oil. His Ass.


GuerillaBlack
08-07-2008, 10:27 AM
:lmao

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/graphics/art4/0806082inside1.jpg

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/0806082hammer1.html


AUGUST 6--While on patrol Monday evening, an Indiana cop noticed a naked guy standing in the window of a Fort Wayne home. So she approached the man's front door, which was wide open, to investigate further. It was then that Officer S. Hughes and a colleague were treated to the sight of a prone Ronald Miller, 56, engaging in a remarkably lewd act on his living room sofa. For the dirty details, you'll have to read the below Fort Wayne Police Department report, which notes that Miller is apparently handy with a claw hammer and some motor oil. Miller, pictured in the mug shot at right, was arrested on a felony indecency charge. A neighbor told cops that Miller was "not right" and parades around naked "24/24."

Make sure to read the police report.

Priceless.
dickface
08-07-2008, 10:35 AM
I think that was also the original working title for There Will Be Blood.
Spurminator
08-07-2008, 10:40 AM
What a nut job. Who uses MOTOR OIL for that? And on the couch? Crazy.
tp2021
08-07-2008, 10:41 AM
Stop... Hammer Time!


In this case, its more like
Stop...
http://media.fukung.net/images/6475/mickey.png
Time for Goatse!
monosylab1k
08-07-2008, 11:17 AM
Hope he used Castrol Syntec
lebomb
08-07-2008, 12:58 PM
Hope he used Castrol Syntec



Also, I hope he put the handle in first, and not the claw. :vomit:
spurs_fan_in_exile
08-07-2008, 01:01 PM
According to the police report he covered it with a plastic bag first, so he was at least attempting to practice safe sex. Though I think he may have misunderstood what his friends meant when they said you can get AIDS from taking a tool up your ass.
manufor3
08-07-2008, 03:39 PM
Has anyone ever suggested rehab for him?
Sunshine
08-07-2008, 04:12 PM
According to the police report he covered it with a plastic bag first, so he was at least attempting to practice safe sex. Though I think he may have misunderstood what his friends meant when they said you can get AIDS from taking a tool up your ass.

:lmao
I. Hustle
08-07-2008, 04:29 PM
To be fair these are his parents. http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2158/2438149484_a4baca49d1_o.jpg
Vinnie_Johnson
08-07-2008, 06:13 PM
Talk about getting Hammered.
ShoogarBear
08-07-2008, 08:42 PM
:lmao

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/graphics/art4/0806082inside1.jpg


And you thought George Carlin was dead.
RashoFan
08-07-2008, 08:45 PM
A new way to use the expression "getting hammered" or "getting hammered from behind"?
Brutalis
08-07-2008, 09:08 PM
Hope it didn't have splinters!
ShoogarBear
08-07-2008, 09:27 PM
Please hammer don't hurt 'em.
slayermin
08-07-2008, 09:31 PM
I think Ronald Miller was the name of Patrick Dempsey's character in Can't Buy Me Love.
slayermin
08-07-2008, 09:32 PM
Please hammer don't hurt 'em.

:lol
RashoFan
08-07-2008, 10:05 PM
oh and my post wasn't even the slightest bit funny??? geesh you people are a tough crowd.:depressed
slayermin
08-07-2008, 10:14 PM
oh and my post wasn't even the slightest bit funny??? geesh you people are a tough crowd.:depressed

:lol

It was funny.

But Shoogar's brought me back to when MC Hammer was on the Arsenio Hall show and the entire crowd was shouting, "please Hammer, don't hurt 'em" in unison.
RashoFan
08-07-2008, 10:15 PM
I have a tape of that album somewhere...."They put me in the mix"
monosylab1k
08-08-2008, 09:02 AM
Funniest part of the story for me is actually the neighbor saying he paraded around naked "24/24"