A man would never do this

[BacktoBasics]

Too bad I wasn't invited.



Think twice before accepting an invitation to a party. That's the lesson Tonya Bowman, 39, learned recently after a birthday bash for a newfound acquaintance at a pricey sushi restaurant.


Don't be bullied into paying for someone else's meal or drinks if they invited you, psychotherapist says.

While Bowman ordered economically -- rice, miso soup and tea -- everyone else acted as if money were no object.

"When the bill came," Bowman says, the birthday girl "smiled and made a big production by way of a toast, saying, 'Thank you all so much for my lovely birthday dinner. I really do appreciate it. You guys are great. Here's to you!' Then she just sat there, waiting for us to decide how to split the bill."

The bill for the birthday girl and her seven "guests" came to a whopping $3,450, which someone suggested splitting evenly. That worked out to $500 per person, plus tip.

"I almost started crying," says Bowman, a municipal employee in Oakland, California. "My heart was racing; my face felt hot. I was embarrassed, humiliated and angry for having been put in that position in the first place. I wasn't told that I would be helping to pay for her dinner."

When the bill was being passed around, Bowman panicked. "I simply put down $50 near my plate and excused myself to go to the restroom," she says. "I walked right by the restroom and out the front door."

The acquaintance sent Bowman an angry e-mail.

"She wanted me to know that I totally ruined her birthday dinner because she ended up having to cover the $450 that I was supposed to pay. She said she had planned to use that money on a spa day for her birthday and now she couldn't because of me. She asked if I could please pay her back, and if I didn't have the money right now, that was OK, because she would be willing to make payment arrangements with me.

"I didn't pay ... and she's no longer my friend or acquaintance."

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

If you eat and/or drink with everyone, then you split the bill evenly.

It's a rule.

[I Love Me Some Me]

If you eat and/or drink with everyone, then you split the bill evenly.

It's a rule.

Eff that...you pay for what you eat. That's the rule.

[desflood]

Separate checks.

[jack sommerset]

I'm a lost for words

[smeagol]

I've been in similar situations where I see people ordering bottles of expensive wine (I rarely drink) and I know I will have to foot for part of the bill.

[smeagol]

The rule is you set the rules before hand.

[tp2021]

The rule is you set the rules before hand.

+1

[Tonto]

Tonto no like indian givers

[Viva Las Espuelas]

If you eat and/or drink with everyone, then you split the bill evenly.

It's a rule.the hell with that mess

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

There are a lot more women who post here than I thought.

[JoeChalupa]

If you eat and/or drink with everyone, then you split the bill evenly.

It's a rule.

But what if I have a coupon? Separate checks is the only way to go.

[ORION]

I'd say " I don't mind paying $500. let me get my wallet... my wallet ! Someone stole it !" then accuse the guy next to me

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

Nah, just make yourself vomit on the table and blame food poisoning.

Meal comped and problem solved.

[MaNuMaNiAc]

$500 for dinner?? fuck that! The birthday bitch sounds like an asshole by the way.

[mrsmaalox]

She invited them to dinner and then expected them to pay?! What a stupid bitch.

[JudynTX]

$500 for sushi? WTF? Was it sprinkled with gold or something? :lol

[Brutalis]

If you eat and/or drink with everyone, then you split the bill evenly.

It's a rule.

Bull fucking shit.

I got into a fight a couple months ago over this.

I went to a birthday thing with 8 guys total, and all I had was two beers and ordered some nachos for myself. My total came out to $11.50 and I added it in my head. Come time to pay the bill and it was over $400 dollars. Me and another dude put a $20 down on the table and I said for us both 'that covers what we got and then some' and the birthday boy and his best friend started bitching like we was going to split this shit evenly.

I said fuck that, I didn't order a bunch of beer and pizza and I'm only paying for what I purchased asshole. Needless to say his best friend didn't like that comment and got his ass beat for swinging at me.

You don't pay for other people's shit. Fuck that, fuck it being dudes birthday, fuck them all.

[ORION]

Bull fucking shit.

I got into a fight a couple months ago over this.

I went to a birthday thing with 8 guys total, and all I had was two beers and ordered some nachos for myself. My total came out to $11.50 and I added it in my head. Come time to pay the bill and it was over $400 dollars. Me and another dude put a $20 down on the table and I said for us both 'that covers what we got and then some' and the birthday boy and his best friend started bitching like we was going to split this shit evenly.

I said fuck that, I didn't order a bunch of beer and pizza and I'm only paying for what I purchased asshole. Needless to say his best friend didn't like that comment and got his ass beat for swinging at me.

You don't pay for other people's shit. Fuck that, fuck it being dudes birthday, fuck them all.

fucking fuckity fuck !

[Brutalis]

fucking fuckity fuck !

Fucking right I'm still fucking pissed about that fucking fucked up fucking shit. Fuck.

[Ginofan]

If it was someone's birthday dinner I was invited to, I'd probably offer to put something down on the birthday boy or girl's dinner just out of generosity, but fuck everyone else...they have to pay for their own shit.

[ORION]

they can't just spring that shit on you.

[v2freak]

This happened in one episode of Friends

Just go Dutch, I say. It's the only fair way to do it. This isn't socialism here.

[Shaolin-Style]

I wouldn't have paid anything.

I'd have paid for my own dinner and beverages, and let the rest of them sort their shit out. Must have been some fat asses there I tell you.

Bringing a gift and paying for my own dinner seems reasonable to me.

[leemajors]

If you eat and/or drink with everyone, then you split the bill evenly.

It's a rule.

depends on where you go. i usually tip about 30-40% so i leave more than others, most of the time.

[RandomGuy]

Bull fucking shit.

I got into a fight a couple months ago over this.

I went to a birthday thing with 8 guys total, and all I had was two beers and ordered some nachos for myself. My total came out to $11.50 and I added it in my head. Come time to pay the bill and it was over $400 dollars. Me and another dude put a $20 down on the table and I said for us both 'that covers what we got and then some' and the birthday boy and his best friend started bitching like we was going to split this shit evenly.

I said fuck that, I didn't order a bunch of beer and pizza and I'm only paying for what I purchased asshole. Needless to say his best friend didn't like that comment and got his ass beat for swinging at me.

You don't pay for other people's shit. Fuck that, fuck it being dudes birthday, fuck them all.

Fuck the fucking fuckers, indeed.

I agree. I wouldn't have paid for anything more than I ate/ordered.

It would be another thing if the rules were laid out before hand, but you can't go balls out ordering shit and then expect others to foot the bill.

[RandomGuy]

Nah, just make yourself vomit on the table and blame food poisoning.

Meal comped and problem solved.

Ordinarily I would say "ha ha, that is a funny answer", but for 500 fucking dollars for a meal, I would damn well seriously consider doing just that.

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

depends on where you go. i usually tip about 30-40% so i leave more than others, most of the time.


True, but in the case of a friend's birthday, I've(we've) always paid for their meal.

This is really a case of stupidity. She should asked for a separate check if she didn't have the money or just told them that she couldn't afford to pay for anyone's dinner/drinks but her own.

Walking out like that, without saying anything, implies that she ate and drank like everyone else and stiffed the other people.

[Chief]

chipping in a little for the birthday person is one thing, but chipping in to cover her "seven guests" ? nah i don't think so.

[Borosai]

Some people are more generous (or more easily manipulated) than others: if they want to pay for someone else's crap, that's great. I know for a fact that none of the people I hang out with would pull that shit, but if somebody did, I would let out a hearty "WTF?!", pay for my stuff and walk out.

Although sneaking out is kind of weak, at least she didn't roll over later on.

[smeagol]

If these are good friends and this is the understanding beforehand, I have no issue with it. We always do it with my group of close friends. Everybody know it and everybody is cool with it. Also, given that that is the rule, nobody goes for the really expensive dishes.

[Ronaldo McDonald]

Douchebag friends. Especially if you can't be understanding with the economy being the way it is right now.

He probably shouldn't have walked out like that though. Better to just be straight with everyhone.

[ididnotnothat]

Douchebag friends. Especially if you can't be understanding with the economy being the way it is right now.

He probably shouldn't have walked out like that though. Better to just be straight with everyhone.

It would have been better if Bday boy would been straight with everyone.

[leemajors]

True, but in the case of a friend's birthday, I've(we've) always paid for their meal.

This is really a case of stupidity. She should asked for a separate check if she didn't have the money or just told them that she couldn't afford to pay for anyone's dinner/drinks but her own.

Walking out like that, without saying anything, implies that she ate and drank like everyone else and stiffed the other people.

oh no i agree, we always split the birthday person's stuff. not the whole thing though - unless it happened to be family style orders.

[j-6]

"Friends" can split a check or treat each others. "Newfound acquaintances" can buy their own damn tuna roll. The only thing I would have done differently is making sure the see-you-next-Tuesday's name became awfully public.

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

oh no i agree, we always split the birthday person's stuff. not the whole thing though - unless it happened to be family style orders.

We almost always split evenly. But everyone knows to order within the same price range or else they throw more money in to cover whatever they ordered that went above and beyond.

These aren't friends, though. If someone offered to make payment arrangements to cover their birthday and day at the spa, then I'd laugh and tell them to get fucked.

[ididnotnothat]

Separate checks and you'll avoid all this drama.

[jcrod]

If it was someone's birthday dinner I was invited to, I'd probably offer to put something down on the birthday boy or girl's dinner just out of generosity, but fuck everyone else...they have to pay for their own shit.

This is what I what of done. Paid for mine and then some for the birthday person. I'm not paying for everybody else's shit.

[Kriz-Maxima]

Fuck that shit, I'll pay for what i ate, nothing more.


Fuck birthday boy too.

[I. Hustle]

The funniest part is that she offered to let that person make payment Arrangements. I would have said "you can arrange to suck on deez nnnnuuuuuttttttttttttttttssssss"

[jack sommerset]

The problem I have with this is the bill was over 3 grand. I find it very hard to believe there were no pre-arrangments on $3,000.00 meal between 6 people that know each other. I don't believe this story. I call BULLSHIT

[ShoogarBear]

$500 sushi? Something fishy about that.

[CuckingFunt]

Inviting someone to a dinner without at least subtly hinting they'll be expected to chip in is tacky.

Going to a birthday dinner with only $50 in your pocket is fucking stupid.

Everyone fails.

[JoeChalupa]

Inviting someone to a dinner without at least subtly hinting they'll be expected to chip in is tacky.

Going to a birthday dinner with only $50 in your pocket is fucking stupid.

Everyone fails.

WTF!? Call me stupid 'cause I can't remember the last birthday dinner I went to with more than $50. Then again I wouldn't be caught dead paying for sushi.

[CuckingFunt]

WTF!? Call me stupid 'cause I can't remember the last birthday dinner I went to with more than $50. Then again I wouldn't be caught dead paying for sushi.

Good sushi is ALWAYS expensive. Their total bill seems a bit excessive to me, but bills at Japanese/sushi restaurants add up very quickly. Ultimately, though, if you're going to a birthday dinner, you should be prepared to cover your food and at least chip in towards the birthday girl's/boy's meal -- at any nice restaurant, that's going to be at least $50.00, in which case I would bring more than that to prepare for unforeseen circumstances.

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

Yeah, the $3500 makes me think this broad either rented a private room and/or ordered a few bottles of liquor.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

I'm not sure how it eventually all got settled on my birthday friend's dinner, but it appeared that everybody paid for their own and I bought my friend and our close buddies (screw everybody else I didn't know) a round of drinks.

You've got to be prepared that a bill might be a little over what you expect, but it's also cool to set the ground rules ahead of time, especially if you know the place is pricey. That's friendship.

[JoeChalupa]

Good sushi is ALWAYS expensive. Their total bill seems a bit excessive to me, but bills at Japanese/sushi restaurants add up very quickly. Ultimately, though, if you're going to a birthday dinner, you should be prepared to cover your food and at least chip in towards the birthday girl's/boy's meal -- at any nice restaurant, that's going to be at least $50.00, in which case I would bring more than that to prepare for unforeseen circumstances.

I must not go to nice restaurants then because the bill is rarely over $50 for the whole family. Plus every bd dinner I've ever been to has been pay for your own.

[Oh, Gee!!]

usually we get separate checks, but everybody pitches in to cover the birthday boy or girl.

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

$500 sushi? Something fishy about that.

I agree. It sounds like she got a raw deal.

[Dex]

If you invite someone to a birthday party at your house, do you make them bring the food? drinks? beer? Do you charge them cover?

How about a kid's birthday? If you're throwing little Timmy's birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheese, do you go around and hit up the parents for money to foot the bill?

If you throw a party, or arrange a birthday dinner, then I'd say you are responsible for that bill. Or at least responsible for making it understood that it will be separate checks or split. If everybody else wants to make the gesture to pick it up, dandy. But you can't go in expecting that.

Now if someone ELSE throws you a dinner party, I could see why the birthday girl wouldn't feel obliged to pay. But it sounds like she was just trying to have her cake and eat it, too.

[easjer]

The bill should not have been split evenly. The birthday girl's dinner should have been split evenly and everyone should have paid for their own meals or the portion of generally ordered items they consumed.

The last birthday event SFIE and I attended, we paid for our own meals and picked up the appetizer the group ordered because we had to leave and others were still discussing how to split the tab, while the birthday boy was refusing to let anyone pay for his meal. We figured it was the easiest way to do it.

If something is going to split evenly, it needs to be discussed beforehand, and an amount agreed on so people don't go hog wild and expect others to pay for it. Otherwise, people have to be allowed to order on their own for their own budget.

[jack sommerset]

I was at Hooters a few years back and saw the cheapest dude ever. Hooters is not anywhere near the cost of the place in question but I thought this was funny.

About 5-6 of us guys would go to Hooters ever so often. Always on 25 cent wing day. Order a few pitchers, eat some wings and go our married way.Just a after work thing. We all split the bill evenly. Its Hooters. I doubt the bill ever got over 50 bucks. With that said the new guy lined up his chicken wings neatly and began to count them when the bill came. Broke out his calculator to figure out his cost of the 2-3 beers he had. Paid his share and went on his way. Left 15 % of his portion of the tip to the penny!!!!!!

[resistanze]

I was at Hooters a few years back and saw the cheapest dude ever. Hooters is not anywhere near the cost of the place in question but I thought this was funny.

About 5-6 of us guys would go to Hooters ever so often. Always on 25 cent wing day. Order a few pitchers, eat some wings and go our married way.Just a after work thing. We all split the bill evenly. Its Hooters. I doubt the bill ever got over 50 bucks. With that said the new guy lined up his chicken wings neatly and began to count them when the bill came. Broke out his calculator to figure out his cost of the 2-3 beers he had. Paid his share and went on his way. Left 15 % of his portion of the tip to the penny!!!!!!
:lmao