PDA

View Full Version : This is how I entertain myself at work.



BacktoBasics
09-22-2008, 03:05 PM
About 6 months ago I became so fed up with where I work that I stop doing all the little things to help people out. At first I thought it was no big deal but the more I avoid helping people the more fun it becomes.

I'll provide you with some examples.

If you put our phones on hold they ring back to the same phone after holding for 45 seconds and quite loudly too. So I always answer the phone near my boss's office. They'll ask for someone who I know won't hear a page or who I know isn't even at work but I'll put the customer on hold anyway so it rings back until the customer gets tired of holding and hangs up. This annoys the shit out of my boss. He's constantly getting up to answer the ring back only to find out that the person they were holding for isn't even in the office.

When I write a deal up I grab the original invoice and file. Then I'll leave it in the office managers room and watch the service guy dig around in the filing cabinet forever. He needs the file because he needs to know which trailer to pull around back to start a make ready. This pisses him off to no end. He hates not being able to find anything which is ironic because his office is a fucking shithole. While he's looking around her office I drop the file on his desk. He'll come back in and be like "damn I must have missed it".

Billing for some of our parts comes to us via the fax machine. Since I get to work early I'll read all the faxes before anyone else and stuff important messages inbetween other fax sheets on unsuspecting employees desks. This really fucks up the office manager and the parts guy plus it makes the employees uncomfortable because they have no idea how they ended up with other peoples messages let alone the shop bills.

One of the things I love doing is hiding the old saleslady's approvals and turndowns in my office. I always get to the reply fax before her and I'll grab all her customer updates so she's constantly going back and forth from the front of the showroom back to the fax looking for these updates. Then she'll get all pissed off about the slow response and call the finance office. When she does that I return the faxes back to the machine to make it look like she missed it all this time.

I also put vaseline on people cokes in the fridge. They are constantly cleaning off the can when they pull their cold drink out. They think somethings wrong with the fridge. I laugh hard inside.

The list goes on. Its the little things that count.

CosmicCowboy
09-22-2008, 03:34 PM
For the first time I think you have absolutely left everyone speechless.

BacktoBasics
09-22-2008, 03:35 PM
yeah apparently I've gone too far. To think I didn't post the really bad shit because I didn't want people to think I was a real life dick.

mrsmaalox
09-22-2008, 03:39 PM
yeah apparently I've gone too far. To think I didn't post the really bad shit because I didn't want people to think I was a real life dick.

Oh dear, why would we think that? :p:

gatoloco
09-22-2008, 03:44 PM
any chalk in the erasers yet or are you saving that for the friday before spring break?

DisAsTerBot
09-22-2008, 04:16 PM
I also put vaseline on people cokes in the fridge. They are constantly cleaning off the can when they pull their cold drink out. They think somethings wrong with the fridge. I laugh hard inside.



that is hilarious!!!! i can see them now......"stupid fridge always leaves this crap on the cans!!" :rollin

The Franchise
09-22-2008, 04:20 PM
yeah apparently I've gone too far. To think I didn't post the really bad shit because I didn't want people to think I was a real life dick.

To late.

Blake
09-22-2008, 04:20 PM
I can only imagine what's going to be in the punch at your Christmas party.

Ronaldo McDonald
09-22-2008, 06:53 PM
I wish I was 10 again.

Shelly
09-22-2008, 07:08 PM
101 Ways to Annoy Your Co-workers
Many of us are stuck in a cube for most of the day. Why not have some fun with your co-workers. They annoy you day in and day out. Here are 101 ways for you to slowly drive them crazy.


Leave a stack of old applications and a note saying, “Install these”
Staple your reports in the wrong corner
Put tape over the mouse optics
Unplug a co-worker’s monitor
Talk to sick employees while wearing a dust mask
Turn your earphones up all the way
Burn popcorn in the microwave
“Forget” to put your tuna sandwich in the fridge
Turn up the beep volume of the copier
Empty the paper out of the main printer/copier
Empty the ink or toner out of the main printer/copier
Practice beat boxing
Sing show tunes
Hang up the phone before they say, “good bye”
Slurp hot coffee during meetings
Walk around the office barefooted
Empty out a co-workers office on a Friday afternoon
Misplace peoples pens
Insert a 3.5″ disk before they turn on their computer
Glue their mouse to the desk
Leave an open can of tuna in their desk
Make a screenshot of their desktop and use it as their screensaver
Turn up the contrast on their monitor
Talk in a funny accent
Use goofy event sounds for your programs
Chant, “Yeay, I got mail!!” every time you get a new email
Print out a phony pink slip and leave It in their mailbox
Send flowers from one co-worker to another
Start your car remotely when someone walk by it
Insist on people to have a great morning
Leave hole punches all over
Leave your lunch garbage in other people’s cans
After each sip give a refreshing, “Ahhh”
Put salt on someone’s mouse pad
Set a password on someone’s screensaver
Carry on a conversation with someone two cubes down
Smirk when a co-worker walks by
Eat half of someone’s lunch
Swap co-worker’s chairs
Fake stomach flu during a meeting and need to abruptly leave three or four times
Stare deeply into your co-workers eyes when they talk to you
Take all the ice out of the community freezer
Listen to comedy tracks and laugh hysterically
Hit all the floor buttons when you leave the elevator
Make hissing sounds into the phone and insist you have a bad connection
Flip the left and right mouse button defaults
Take out the ball in the mouse
Eat sunflower seeds
Tell a long story without a point
Tell a co-worker you liked their hair better last week
Anonymously send flowers to a random co-worker
Bring Cheetos for food days
Drag your feet when you walk down the halls
Exclaim your co-worker didn’t wash his hands when leaving the restroom
Eat stinky foods when you have lunch at your desk
Practice drumming on your desk
Use too many paper clips
Fill out your time sheets incorrectly
Set your mobile phone to an obnoxious ring tone
Forward chain letters and other spam to co-workers
Express your political views at length
Whisper loudly
Come to work sick
Drink the last cup of coffee without making a new pot
Answer your mobile during meetings
Stand over someone while they are on the phone
Sneak up behind someone
Mess with the thermostat
Give everyone a pistol wink when they walk by
Gradually turn down the volume on someone’s phone
Leave unusual print outs on the printer
Throw out other people’s prints
Juggle office supplies
Write all your memos on bright colored paper
Be overly nice to people
Hide whiteboard erasers
Chew gum while talking on the phone
Regularly update everyone on the current weather
Read your emails aloud
Leave the fridge open
Shake up cans of pop in the fridge
Leave fingerprints on the copier glass
Whistle all day long
Wear too much cologne/perfume
Type loudly
Wear bright colored clothes
Give everyone a nickname from a TV show
Do the sneaky walk around the office
Peer over the cube and wait for a co-worker to look up and notice
Use the intercom and page yourself
Swap the regular and decaf coffee
Hide the sugar and creamer
Type emails in uppercase and excessive punctuation
Refer to your garbage can as your in-box
Stick pencils to the ceiling in other people’s offices
Throw a bouncy ball in your office
Tell the same story over and over
Imitate regular sounds like a disc drive opening, door slamming or a mouse click
Talk to your monitor as if it was a person
Schedule meetings at 4:00pm
Talk loudly with your earphones on when someone comes to talk to you

baseline bum
09-22-2008, 07:59 PM
Make a screenshot of their desktop and use it as their screensaver


I've done that once at every job I've ever had. :lol

It works everytime.

2Blonde
09-22-2008, 08:46 PM
101 Ways to Annoy Your Co-workers
Many of us are stuck in a cube for most of the day. Why not have some fun with your co-workers. They annoy you day in and day out. Here are 101 ways for you to slowly drive them crazy.


Leave a stack of old applications and a note saying, “Install these”
Staple your reports in the wrong corner
Put tape over the mouse optics
Unplug a co-worker’s monitor
Talk to sick employees while wearing a dust mask
Turn your earphones up all the way
Burn popcorn in the microwave
“Forget” to put your tuna sandwich in the fridge
Turn up the beep volume of the copier
Empty the paper out of the main printer/copier
Empty the ink or toner out of the main printer/copier
Practice beat boxing
Sing show tunes
Hang up the phone before they say, “good bye”
Slurp hot coffee during meetings
Walk around the office barefooted
Empty out a co-workers office on a Friday afternoon
Misplace peoples pens
Insert a 3.5″ disk before they turn on their computer
Glue their mouse to the desk
Leave an open can of tuna in their desk
Make a screenshot of their desktop and use it as their screensaver
Turn up the contrast on their monitor
Talk in a funny accent
Use goofy event sounds for your programs
Chant, “Yeay, I got mail!!” every time you get a new email
Print out a phony pink slip and leave It in their mailbox
Send flowers from one co-worker to another
Start your car remotely when someone walk by it
Insist on people to have a great morning
Leave hole punches all over
Leave your lunch garbage in other people’s cans
After each sip give a refreshing, “Ahhh”
Put salt on someone’s mouse pad
Set a password on someone’s screensaver
Carry on a conversation with someone two cubes down
Smirk when a co-worker walks by
Eat half of someone’s lunch
Swap co-worker’s chairs
Fake stomach flu during a meeting and need to abruptly leave three or four times
Stare deeply into your co-workers eyes when they talk to you
Take all the ice out of the community freezer
Listen to comedy tracks and laugh hysterically
Hit all the floor buttons when you leave the elevator
Make hissing sounds into the phone and insist you have a bad connection
Flip the left and right mouse button defaults
Take out the ball in the mouse
Eat sunflower seeds
Tell a long story without a point
Tell a co-worker you liked their hair better last week
Anonymously send flowers to a random co-worker
Bring Cheetos for food days
Drag your feet when you walk down the halls
Exclaim your co-worker didn’t wash his hands when leaving the restroom
Eat stinky foods when you have lunch at your desk
Practice drumming on your desk
Use too many paper clips
Fill out your time sheets incorrectly
Set your mobile phone to an obnoxious ring tone
Forward chain letters and other spam to co-workers
Express your political views at length
Whisper loudly
Come to work sick
Drink the last cup of coffee without making a new pot
Answer your mobile during meetings
Stand over someone while they are on the phone
Sneak up behind someone
Mess with the thermostat
Give everyone a pistol wink when they walk by
Gradually turn down the volume on someone’s phone
Leave unusual print outs on the printer
Throw out other people’s prints
Juggle office supplies
Write all your memos on bright colored paper
Be overly nice to people
Hide whiteboard erasers
Chew gum while talking on the phone
Regularly update everyone on the current weather
Read your emails aloud
Leave the fridge open
Shake up cans of pop in the fridge
Leave fingerprints on the copier glass
Whistle all day long
Wear too much cologne/perfume
Type loudly
Wear bright colored clothes
Give everyone a nickname from a TV show
Do the sneaky walk around the office
Peer over the cube and wait for a co-worker to look up and notice
Use the intercom and page yourself
Swap the regular and decaf coffee
Hide the sugar and creamer
Type emails in uppercase and excessive punctuation
Refer to your garbage can as your in-box
Stick pencils to the ceiling in other people’s offices
Throw a bouncy ball in your office
Tell the same story over and over
Imitate regular sounds like a disc drive opening, door slamming or a mouse click
Talk to your monitor as if it was a person
Schedule meetings at 4:00pm
Talk loudly with your earphones on when someone comes to talk to you
Those should keep B2B occupied for a while. :lol

marini martini
09-22-2008, 09:14 PM
The list goes on. Its the little things that count.


101 Ways to Annoy Your Co-workers
Many of us are stuck in a cube for most of the day. Why not have some fun with your co-workers. They annoy you day in and day out. Here are 101 ways for you to slowly drive them crazy.


Leave a stack of old applications and a note saying, “Install these”
Staple your reports in the wrong corner
Put tape over the mouse optics
Unplug a co-worker’s monitor
Talk to sick employees while wearing a dust mask
Turn your earphones up all the way
Burn popcorn in the microwave
“Forget” to put your tuna sandwich in the fridge
Turn up the beep volume of the copier
Empty the paper out of the main printer/copier
Empty the ink or toner out of the main printer/copier
Practice beat boxing
Sing show tunes
Hang up the phone before they say, “good bye”
Slurp hot coffee during meetings
Walk around the office barefooted
Empty out a co-workers office on a Friday afternoon
Misplace peoples pens
Insert a 3.5″ disk before they turn on their computer
Glue their mouse to the desk
Leave an open can of tuna in their desk
Make a screenshot of their desktop and use it as their screensaver
Turn up the contrast on their monitor
Talk in a funny accent
Use goofy event sounds for your programs
Chant, “Yeay, I got mail!!” every time you get a new email
Print out a phony pink slip and leave It in their mailbox
Send flowers from one co-worker to another
Start your car remotely when someone walk by it
Insist on people to have a great morning
Leave hole punches all over
Leave your lunch garbage in other people’s cans
After each sip give a refreshing, “Ahhh”
Put salt on someone’s mouse pad
Set a password on someone’s screensaver
Carry on a conversation with someone two cubes down
Smirk when a co-worker walks by
Eat half of someone’s lunch
Swap co-worker’s chairs
Fake stomach flu during a meeting and need to abruptly leave three or four times
Stare deeply into your co-workers eyes when they talk to you
Take all the ice out of the community freezer
Listen to comedy tracks and laugh hysterically
Hit all the floor buttons when you leave the elevator
Make hissing sounds into the phone and insist you have a bad connection
Flip the left and right mouse button defaults
Take out the ball in the mouse
Eat sunflower seeds
Tell a long story without a point
Tell a co-worker you liked their hair better last week
Anonymously send flowers to a random co-worker
Bring Cheetos for food days
Drag your feet when you walk down the halls
Exclaim your co-worker didn’t wash his hands when leaving the restroom
Eat stinky foods when you have lunch at your desk
Practice drumming on your desk
Use too many paper clips
Fill out your time sheets incorrectly
Set your mobile phone to an obnoxious ring tone
Forward chain letters and other spam to co-workers
Express your political views at length
Whisper loudly
Come to work sick
Drink the last cup of coffee without making a new pot
Answer your mobile during meetings
Stand over someone while they are on the phone
Sneak up behind someone
Mess with the thermostat
Give everyone a pistol wink when they walk by
Gradually turn down the volume on someone’s phone
Leave unusual print outs on the printer
Throw out other people’s prints
Juggle office supplies
Write all your memos on bright colored paper
Be overly nice to people
Hide whiteboard erasers
Chew gum while talking on the phone
Regularly update everyone on the current weather
Read your emails aloud
Leave the fridge open
Shake up cans of pop in the fridge
Leave fingerprints on the copier glass
Whistle all day long
Wear too much cologne/perfume
Type loudly
Wear bright colored clothes
Give everyone a nickname from a TV show
Do the sneaky walk around the office
Peer over the cube and wait for a co-worker to look up and notice
Use the intercom and page yourself
Swap the regular and decaf coffee
Hide the sugar and creamer
Type emails in uppercase and excessive punctuation
Refer to your garbage can as your in-box
Stick pencils to the ceiling in other people’s offices
Throw a bouncy ball in your office
Tell the same story over and over
Imitate regular sounds like a disc drive opening, door slamming or a mouse click
Talk to your monitor as if it was a person
Schedule meetings at 4:00pm
Talk loudly with your earphones on when someone comes to talk to you


Those should keep B2B occupied for a while. :lol

That's probably a list of his "little things, that count"!

:lmao

JamStone
09-22-2008, 09:27 PM
Shit, if this gonna be that kind of party, I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes.

Mr.Bottomtooth
09-22-2008, 09:59 PM
Put salt on someone’s mouse pad:lol

Spurtacus
09-22-2008, 10:04 PM
Thanks for the laugh.

Mister Sinister
09-22-2008, 10:09 PM
Shit, if this gonna be that kind of party, I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes.
Brain.

T Park
09-23-2008, 12:40 AM
What does salt on the mouse pad do?

baseline bum
09-23-2008, 12:50 AM
Worst prank I ever pulled was installing Linux on an empty partition and setting it as the default operating system to boot on the computer of one of my company's artists. She was fucking pissed when she booted and only got a bash shell. Our tech-support guy was dying laughing when he saw it. :lol

I told her she probably installed a bad Windows update patch that killed her computer (this actually happened to two systems in my office a couple of weeks earlier).

Heath Ledger
09-23-2008, 03:10 AM
Handsdown asshole of the year award winner.

ATRAIN
09-23-2008, 09:21 AM
Is there anything I could do for a ice chewer?

leemajors
09-23-2008, 09:32 AM
Is there anything I could do for a ice chewer?

headphones.

remingtonbo2001
09-23-2008, 09:34 AM
Is there anything I could do for a ice chewer?

Yes.

Well, possibily...

Go to Firehouse Subs. Purchase their Mad Dog 357 hot sauce.

Take an ice cube tray and proceed to fill a couple trays, about 1/10 full with hot sauce. Enough to cover the bottom.

Then fill the rest with water.

Freeze it. Crush it. Then place the tainted ice in her cup when she isn't looking.


Or you could simply put a dab of the hot sauce in her drink when she isn't looking.

Oh, Gee!!
09-23-2008, 09:38 AM
Worst prank I ever pulled was installing Linux on an empty partition and setting it as the default operating system to boot on the computer of one of my company's artists. She was fucking pissed when she booted and only got a bash shell. Our tech-support guy was dying laughing when he saw it. :lol

I told her she probably installed a bad Windows update patch that killed her computer (this actually happened to two systems in my office a couple of weeks earlier).

this would be funny if I understood it.

to21
09-23-2008, 09:49 AM
You know before I would be like, "B2B, you're a dick, don't you have any pride in your work?"

Since I got passed over for a promotion because "It looks like you're off task all day long and not working." I'm like fuck it.......I'm doing this shit too.

angel_luv
09-23-2008, 10:41 AM
Yes.

Well, possibily...

Go to Firehouse Subs. Purchase their Mad Dog 357 hot sauce.

Take an ice cube tray and proceed to fill a couple trays, about 1/10 full with hot sauce. Enough to cover the bottom.

Then fill the rest with water.

Freeze it. Crush it. Then place the tainted ice in her cup when she isn't looking.


Or you could simply put a dab of the hot sauce in her drink when she isn't looking.

Remington :nope :nope :oops

That is cruel and unusual.

And coming from someone ( me) who has tasted said salsa, you better hope no one gives you a taste of your own medicine. :wow

I. Hustle
09-23-2008, 10:58 AM
this would be funny if I understood it.

remingtonbo2001
09-23-2008, 10:58 AM
Remington :nope :nope :oops

That is cruel and unusual.

And coming from someone ( me) who has tasted said salsa, you better hope no one gives you a taste of your own medicine. :wow

:p:

Okay, so that may be going a bit too far.

ATRAIN
09-23-2008, 11:01 AM
headphones.


Already do that but sometimes I can't.

angel_luv
09-23-2008, 11:02 AM
:p:

Okay, so that may be going a bit too far.

:tu Thanks, Career Point. :)

BacktoBasics
09-23-2008, 11:02 AM
You know before I would be like, "B2B, you're a dick, don't you have any pride in your work?"

Since I got passed over for a promotion because "It looks like you're off task all day long and not working." I'm like fuck it.......I'm doing this shit too.Sometimes hard work doesn't pay off. Especially if you management is less intelligent than you. Shit rises to the top. Hard workers usually get stuck.....doing the hard work. I'm sick of it.

ATRAIN
09-23-2008, 11:03 AM
Yes.

Well, possibily...

Go to Firehouse Subs. Purchase their Mad Dog 357 hot sauce.

Take an ice cube tray and proceed to fill a couple trays, about 1/10 full with hot sauce. Enough to cover the bottom.

Then fill the rest with water.

Freeze it. Crush it. Then place the tainted ice in her cup when she isn't looking.


Or you could simply put a dab of the hot sauce in her drink when she isn't looking.


Only problem is we have ice machines here at work. Its already the crushed ice. I guess I could put the hot sauce in her drink but she is old what if she dies like that guy in dumb and dumber. I would feel bad for like a week. I thought about putting salt in there when she is away.

angel_luv
09-23-2008, 11:05 AM
Only problem is we have ice machines here at work. Its already the crushed ice. I guess I could put the hot sauce in her drink but she is old what if she dies like that guy in dumb and dumber. I would feel bad for like a week. I thought about putting salt in there when she is away.

And I guess tolerance is not a plausible option for you? :)

ORION
09-23-2008, 11:06 AM
:tu Thanks, Career Point. :)

:lol:lol

remingtonbo2001
09-23-2008, 11:10 AM
Only problem is we have ice machines here at work. Its already the crushed ice. I guess I could put the hot sauce in her drink but she is old what if she dies like that guy in dumb and dumber. I would feel bad for like a week. I thought about putting salt in there when she is away.

Are you mad?!?!

You'll give the poor lady high blood pressure.

Just imagine how much her insurance premium will rise.

ATRAIN
09-23-2008, 11:12 AM
And I guess tolerance is not a plausible option for you? :)

I have tolerated it. Some days she tries to be quiet but some days she chomps FREAKING LOUD!!! Its bad when I can hear it over my music.

ATRAIN
09-23-2008, 11:13 AM
Are you mad?!?!

You'll give the poor lady high blood pressure.

Just imagine how much her insurance premium will rise.

LOL well its not like it would matter, she loads up her meals with salt as it is. She has a salt shaker on her desk as it is.

BacktoBasics
09-23-2008, 11:13 AM
Chewing ice is a sign of sexual frustration. Perhaps you should have a talk with her...or spike her ice.

I. Hustle
09-23-2008, 11:14 AM
Just sleep with her already! You know that's what you really want.

I. Hustle
09-23-2008, 11:14 AM
Chewing ice is a sign of sexual frustration. Perhaps you should have a talk with her...or spike her ice.

Same page or what?

ORION
09-23-2008, 11:15 AM
Chewing ice is a sign of sexual frustration. Perhaps you should have a talk with her...or spike her ice.

yeah, I think there is more to this relationship than what ATRIAN has already told us .......

angel_luv
09-23-2008, 11:16 AM
I have tolerated it. Some days she tries to be quiet but some days she chomps FREAKING LOUD!!! Its bad when I can hear it over my music.

Well, I am sorry you are being repeatedly annoyed. That is unfortunate, even if not something which can always be avoided.

Have you ever spoken to your co-worker about it?

ATRAIN
09-23-2008, 11:18 AM
Chewing ice is a sign of sexual frustration. Perhaps you should have a talk with her...or spike her ice.


Just sleep with her already! You know that's what you really want.

Hell no man she is old and gross. Im not pee wee, I have standards.

I. Hustle
09-23-2008, 11:20 AM
Give her the shocker and see if she lives through it

ATRAIN
09-23-2008, 11:21 AM
yeah, I think there is more to this relationship than what ATRIAN has already told us .......

LOL no man, the only reason why I haven't done or said anything is because she is like my grandma. Other than her annoying habbits she is a nice lady and hard worker. Ok well she is dumb too, but she is a woman and blonde so its not her fault.

angel_luv
09-23-2008, 11:22 AM
Try buying her some hard candy- like peppermints or butterscotch.

ATRAIN
09-23-2008, 11:22 AM
Give her the shocker and see if she lives through it

What if I do a inverted shocker, 1 in the pink and 2 in the stink? She would keel over for sure!!

ATRAIN
09-23-2008, 11:24 AM
Try buying her some hard candy.

ARE YOU SERIOUS, that would be worse. The other day she was eating grapes, and I thought oh sweet I can take off my headphones. Those were the crunchiest grapes in history cause she was popping them loud. I give her gum and guess what SHE POPS her gum. I cant win here.

to21
09-23-2008, 11:25 AM
Sometimes hard work doesn't pay off. Especially if you management is less intelligent than you. Shit rises to the top. Hard workers usually get stuck.....doing the hard work. I'm sick of it.Yeah that's what I told my manager. "It's not my god damn fault everyone else here is slow and it takes me thirty minutes to do what takes them the whole day."

I tell you what, they'll have one less person to stay late and come in on Saturday to help with a problem again.

:wakeup

I. Hustle
09-23-2008, 11:26 AM
Give her tube steak

angel_luv
09-23-2008, 11:27 AM
ARE YOU SERIOUS, that would be worse. The other day she was eating grapes, and I thought oh sweet I can take off my headphones. Those were the crunchiest grapes in history cause she was popping them loud. I give her gum and guess what SHE POPS her gum. I cant win here.

Well then, I hope you get promoted to your own office soon. :)

ATRAIN
09-23-2008, 11:32 AM
Well then, I hope you get promoted to your own office soon. :)

LOL the way people around here stay with the company forever I dont see myself getting my own office anytime soon. Im just happy im off for the next 5 days after 3 today.

mrsmaalox
09-23-2008, 11:41 AM
Give her tube steak

That would work I think.

ATRAIN
09-23-2008, 11:45 AM
That would work I think.

Just because that shuts you up doesnt mean that it works for all other old ladies. Im just sayin :).

ORION
09-23-2008, 11:47 AM
Give her tube steak

thats what started this whole thing. He wants to bang her because she reminds him of his grandmother but she turned him down and now he is bitter.

ORION
09-23-2008, 11:47 AM
Just because that shuts you up doesnt mean that it works for all other old ladies. Im just sayin :).

:lmao

NFO
09-23-2008, 11:49 AM
She has a salt shaker on her desk as it is.

Loosen the salt shaker so next time she uses it all the salt comes out at once.

:bking

mrsmaalox
09-23-2008, 11:50 AM
thats what started this whole thing. He wants to bang her because she reminds him of his grandmother but she turned him down and now he is bitter.

Then banging the old girl is win-win situation for both of them.

ATRAIN
09-23-2008, 11:52 AM
Loosen the salt shaker so next time she uses it all the salt comes out at once.

:bking



LOL like the messin with Sasquatch?

I. Hustle
09-23-2008, 11:52 AM
When the tube steak is delivered everybody wins

ATRAIN
09-23-2008, 11:52 AM
thats what started this whole thing. He wants to bang her because she reminds him of his grandmother but she turned him down and now he is bitter.

Dude thats just fucked up. She has warts on her face so who knows what she has down there beyond the cob webs. Guess couldnt be any worse than maalox though lmao.

ORION
09-23-2008, 11:56 AM
Dude thats just fucked up. She has warts on her face so who knows what she has down there beyond the cob webs. Guess couldnt be any worse than maalox though lmao.

:spless:

I. Hustle
09-23-2008, 11:57 AM
Just knock the dust off it and go to town. It's not like it would be the worst you've had before.

mrsmaalox
09-23-2008, 11:58 AM
Dude thats just fucked up. She has warts on her face so who knows what she has down there beyond the cob webs. Guess couldnt be any worse than maalox though lmao.

hahaha Bite me.

ORION
09-23-2008, 11:59 AM
Just knock the dust off it and go to town. It's not like it would be the worst you've had before.

or pick the scabs

ATRAIN
09-23-2008, 12:02 PM
Just knock the dust off it and go to town. It's not like it would be the worst you've had before.

LOL oh ive had bad before, but this would be the worst. Now had I been with Maalox when she was begging for it, then this would be 2nd worse.

ATRAIN
09-23-2008, 12:03 PM
or pick the scabs

:vomit:

I. Hustle
09-23-2008, 12:04 PM
or pick the scabs

Only right before you hit it though. You don't want to waste any of the natural lube.

Viva Las Espuelas
09-23-2008, 12:06 PM
are you lovebirds at it again?
Shm5fUjhwik
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Shm5fUjhwik

mrsmaalox
09-23-2008, 12:11 PM
LOL oh ive had bad before, but this would be the worst. Now had I been with Maalox when she was begging for it, then this would be 2nd worse.

F you, I have no scabs!

mrsmaalox
09-23-2008, 12:15 PM
are you lovebirds at it again?
Shm5fUjhwik
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Shm5fUjhwik

Oh you know, Atrain just can't recover from my rejections :dramaquee

I like that video. I like vampires. So does Atrain.

ATRAIN
09-23-2008, 12:18 PM
Oh you know, Atrain just can't recover from my rejections :dramaquee

I like that video. I like vampires. So does Atrain.

LMAO if you mean me using a cattle prod to keep you away your rejections then yeah thats it. I cant see that video whats it of?

tlongII
09-23-2008, 12:25 PM
Does anyone know the email address of B2B's boss? I would like to send him a link to this thread.

mrsmaalox
09-23-2008, 12:27 PM
LMAO if you mean me using a cattle prod to keep you away your rejections then yeah thats it. I cant see that video whats it of?

It's vampire Eddie Money singing our song. "I Think I'm In Love". ;)

NFO
09-23-2008, 12:27 PM
LOL like the messin with Sasquatch?


Exactly, unless you really are messin with Sasquatch, then I would refrian as you have seen the commercials.

:bking

Viva Las Espuelas
09-23-2008, 12:28 PM
Does anyone know the email address of B2B's boss? I would like to send him a link to this thread.
[email protected]

ATRAIN
09-23-2008, 12:28 PM
It's vampire Eddie Money singing our song. "I Think I'm In Love". ;)

wtf??? Viva wants me to bang you more than anyone on this board. Viva sorry bro but it aint going to happen. I dont want to peel off the scabs.

ATRAIN
09-23-2008, 12:29 PM
Exactly, unless you really are messin with Sasquatch, then I would refrian as you have seen the commercials.

:bking

LOL well she is a bit intimidating

Viva Las Espuelas
09-23-2008, 12:30 PM
wtf??? Viva wants me to bang you more than anyone on this board. Viva sorry bro but it aint going to happen. I dont want to peel off the scabs.hey, i'm just an observer.

ATRAIN
09-23-2008, 12:34 PM
hey, i'm just an observer.

LOL apparently not a very good one.

mrsmaalox
09-23-2008, 12:36 PM
wtf??? Viva wants me to bang you more than anyone on this board. Viva sorry bro but it aint going to happen. I dont want to peel off the scabs.

I repeat: F you, I have no scabs!!!

Viva Las Espuelas
09-23-2008, 12:38 PM
LOL apparently not a very good one.
i think multiquote would crash if i were to back up my statement

marini martini
09-23-2008, 12:42 PM
i think multiquote would crash if i were to back up my statement


Please don't crash my "precious multi-quote":wow


:toast

ORION
09-23-2008, 12:52 PM
Only right before you hit it though. You don't want to waste any of the natural lube.

I would drink lots of milk then hock up a luggie and spit it on her vag

mrsmaalox
09-23-2008, 12:55 PM
I would drink lots of milk then hock up a luggie and spit it on her vag

Damn it Orion, I almost lost my lunch with that one!!! :ihit

ATRAIN
09-23-2008, 12:57 PM
i think multiquote would crash if i were to back up my statement

all in the eye of the beholder

ORION
09-23-2008, 01:09 PM
Damn it Orion, I almost lost my lunch with that one!!! :ihit

I try