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View Full Version : LOL, Dane Cook



ShoogarBear
09-23-2008, 05:16 AM
First time he's ever made me laugh.

http://defamer.com/5053310/dane-cooks-new-dog-poop-lawsuit-may-be-funniest-work-of-his-career

Dane Cook's New Dog Poop Lawsuit May Be Funniest Work of His Career

It's been a rough weekend for Dane Cook: after being publicly shamed by our own Molly McAleer, the comedian saw his romantic comedy My Best Friend's Girl tank at the box office. Now, TMZ is reporting that thanks to his incontinent dog, Cook has been evicted from his apartment — though his attempt to fight the ruling may have provided us with the beleaguered actor's first amusing work in years:

After a judge ruled to evict Cook from his Hollywood apartment last month because nobody picked up after the comic's crap-happy dog, Dane has decided to fight the decision with one of the most bizarre legal arguments we've ever heard –- that [John] Belushi and [Steve] Martin's supernatural leftovers have a serious affect on his career.

Cook claims he only rented the apartment in the first place because his heroes, Belushi and Martin, used to live in the same complex back in the day, and according to the court docs filed in L.A. County Superior Court, he would suffer serious "mental and emotional" damage — and his career would crumble — if he was forced to leave. In the docs, Cook claims, "I know that the presence of those that have lived there before me affects me deeply and provides me with inspiration."

Cook went on to say, "In the same way that writers can get writer's block, comedians can really easily run out of ideas and 'stories'; I am extremely frightened that this will happen to me if I am forced to move out of my apartment. I've seen it happen to other comics, that something interferes with their connection to their creative muse, and it's destroyed careers."

While we can't say that we've seen any evidence of Steve Martin's dry comic influence in Cook's enthusiastic brand of stand-up, we hope the situation works itself out in his favor. If there's one thing we can all agree on, it's that Cook should spend a lot of time in his apartment — weeks, months, whatever works! Take as much time off as you need, Dane...after all, isn't that we've got DC-01 for?

spurs_fan_in_exile
09-23-2008, 08:09 AM
So which is the greater crime: his dog shitting everywhere or Cook shitting on the career of two great comedians by claiming their spirit inspired his horrible material?

monosylab1k
09-23-2008, 08:43 AM
"In the same way that writers can get writer's block, comedians can really easily run out of ideas and 'stories';

That's never been a problem for Dane before, he used to just pop in a Louis CK dvd and steal shit word for word from it.

MrChug
09-23-2008, 10:38 AM
I have no reservations about watching Margaret fucking Cho's unfunny fat ass over Cook.

He's 40 dresses like he's 16 and plays to that level of intellect. I went to (was force to went to a showing of some HBO debut at the Alamo Drafthouse off Anderson Lane in Austin and I swear that the oldest person there (aside from myself/group) was the ticket-taker at 16. I was like "It's all making sense why I can't laugh at this dude".

CuckingFunt
09-23-2008, 11:01 AM
So which is the greater crime: his dog shitting everywhere or Cook shitting on the career of two great comedians by claiming their spirit inspired his horrible material?

I'd say it's the fact that his mention of Steve Martin's "spirit" seems to insinuate that Cook may think he's dead.

The Reckoning
09-23-2008, 11:20 AM
tmz is great. they confirmed that arnold used to smoke with chong

CubanMustGo
09-23-2008, 02:52 PM
Now here's a great use of the legal system.

InRareForm
09-23-2008, 06:06 PM
do minorities like dane cook? me dont think so

Admiral
09-23-2008, 08:43 PM
Dane Cook is not funny at all to me. I honestly don't see why so many people think he's so hilarious.

Maddox
09-23-2008, 09:09 PM
If John Belushi were alive ...


http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/kick1.jpg

Tits McGee
09-23-2008, 09:13 PM
Dane Cook is not funny at all to me. I honestly don't see why so many people think he's so hilarious.

He's cute.

ShoogarBear
09-24-2008, 12:08 AM
Steve Martin should sue for defamation of character.

T Park
09-24-2008, 12:14 AM
Steve Martin being in the same article as Dane Cook is a fucking disgrace.

tp2021
09-24-2008, 12:38 AM
Steve Martin isn't all that great, but i downright CAN'T STAND dane cook. especially when my friends quote him so much, it becomes a catchphrase.

"GOD bless you. I don't have that..."
FUCK YOU!

PixelPusher
09-24-2008, 01:12 AM
LOL, Dane Cook

The title of this thread made me both angry and curious.