Visit from the kids father.

[BacktoBasics]

Let me preface this with the obvious fact that this dude and I don't get along well. He's neanderthal (sup Manny) like in the way he does things. Plus I don't think he's a very good father to these girls in the first place. He's military so that explains much of it. I know some people don't like to hear it but Military people are so finite in the way they think. It always has to be simple and obvious for things to be accomplished. I'm not saying thats how all military people are but breaking down the man to build the soldier is apparent in so many of them.


First and foremost I don't appreciate people showing up where I work to discuss personal issues but I didn't blow up about it. Douchebag wants to talk to me outside so we step out.

Douchebag: I don't want you to ever tell my girls they don't have to go to college? What kind of irresponsible shit is this.

Me: I love how you have the entire story straight. I never said not to go to college I simply said that they shouldn't go for the sake of going. The oldest asked me if she had to go like she does HS and Middle School and I told her the truth and thats college is an option. She'll have the choice to go.

Douchebag: :stupid fucking pissed off look:

Me: Furthermore I sat down with both of them and explained candidly that society has turned college into some kind of must have form of higher education so now we're stuck with millions of kids taking it for granted. The idea at this point is to allow these kids world to grow through High School. This way by the time they reach their Senior year they have 4 or 5 potential careers on a short list. This way if one of them decides to follow a dream of being a....

Chef: We'll line up Culinary School and rather than pay 80k for a worthless College degree we can concentrate the schooling on the craft and a take out a signature loan to start a business. It'll be cheaper than sending them to Texas or Baylor or wherever.

Photographer: We'll line up Photography school and narrow down a list of options like. Weddings, special events, family portrait and again pull out a loan to line up a business.

Accountant: We can once again arrange for a particular college and a plan of action to accomplish this. Then we can hopefully set up an intern job to prepare her to either work for someone or herself.

You see I'm not ruling out college I'm saying that there is a right way to go and a wrong way. If there is specialty schooling available then thats the right path to take. Why waste so much time and MONEY pissing away two years in some mid level school trying to decide who and what you want to be when you can narrow it down and prepare them now. This way money and time isn't wasted its utilized to execute a path that gives these girls the highest percentage of success.

If you cram going to college down their throats they'll resent it and its likely to stiffle their ability to rationally think of who and what they want to become because its another 4 or 5 years of shit schooling ahead. Getting education on something isn't so bad when you're doing it because you want to accomplish something specific. The world isn't as small and restrictive as it once was.

DB: I just don't agree with this at all. These kids need an education.

Me: :rolleyes go ahead and tell them whatever you want to tell them. I'm not saying they don't need schooling all I'm saying is that they should be smarter about it. Its your relationship to strain do whatever you want. Its not as if you're going to pay for their tuition in the first place.

DB: I'm capable of paying.

Me: Good I hope so because its expensive.

and oh since you're so capable I expect you to reimburse me a good 300 bucks for half the girls school clothes and the youngest ones glasses. You know as well as I do those expenses are outlined clearly in the divorce papers. I got to get back to work Don't show up at my work again.

DB: we'll finish this later.

/end/

I'll assume there are others who don't see it my way.

[stretch]

:tu

[lebomb]

Why did you marry a military guy then??? :(

[BacktoBasics]

Why did you marry a military guy then??? :(:lmao I didn't marry a military guy. I married the former wife of a military guy.


Let me break it down for you in Military terms.

My Wife
Military guy

= married back in the day with two girls

They split

Me
My wife: who was once married to military guy

= married we have the girls

Military guy = bitter douchebag who thinks backwards and hates me.

[Kriz-Maxima]

I don't see a point in shoving college down a kid's throat either. I think its great that you guide them and let them know they have options according to what they want to do.

[clambake]

what, no "we'll finish this later when i dig out your eyeballs and piss in your skull"?

[lebomb]

:lmao I didn't marry a military guy. I married the former wife of a military guy.


Let me break it down for you in Military terms.

My Wife
Military guy

= married back in the day with two girls

They split

Me
My wife: who was once married to military guy

= married we have the girls

Military guy = bitter douchebag who thinks backwards and hates me.

Oh.....sorry...... :lmao I get it now. AND!!! It makes sense once I re-read your thread. :toast

Im remarried as well, but my wife's EX and I get along.

[Bigzax]

hey, if he wanted to raise his kids, he should have made it work with his ex. that's the chance you take. you never know what kind of fool will sweet talk their way into the panties next.

however, i do believe you should conclude all your career advice with "then again, i sell trailers"

good read b2b! :tu

[angel_luv]

/end/

I'll assume there are others who don't see it my way.

I agree with your stance.

I think it is great you were honest with your daughters about all their options.


It isn't as if all the options- college, no college, trade school etc- were not going to occur to the girls eventually anyway.
I am not sure why the girls' father feels so justified in being upset.

The way I see it...
The girls are lucky to have you and your additional insight in their life, as they begin navigating through such important decisions.

It is unfortunate that their dad is not grateful for your caring, positive role in the girls' life.
However, I am sure your daughters do appreciate you and that is what matters. :)

[BacktoBasics]

Oh.....sorry...... :lmao I get it now. AND!!! It makes sense once I re-read your thread. :toast

Im remarried as well, but my wife's EX and I get along.Thats a good thing. I actually got along with this guy until he started getting all weird and defensive. Particularly since the girls have gotten older I've taught them to call him on his shit. Its a lot harder to lie to a 12 year old than it is a 7 year old.

[mrsmaalox]

When I think about all the money my parents wasted on my brother because skipping college was not an option for us :bang He never finished and my inheritance shrank! :lol

[MaNuMaNiAc]

What exactly do you do for a living B2B?

[BacktoBasics]

What exactly do you do for a living B2B?
I'm a life coach for hire.

I also work for a RV dealership on the side.

[Viva Las Espuelas]

just tell me when to :lmao and i'm all there, dude.

[ORION]

right the kid needs to be ready to go to college rather than forced.

[I Love Me Some Me]

I think you're pretty spot on in your advice to the girls.

[lebomb]

I don't see a point in shoving college down a kid's throat either. I think its great that you guide them and let them know they have options according to what they want to do.

Here is my only point about the positive of going to college.......if you dont go, you have to either own your own business, or work you way up through the lowest of ranks in a company to be accomplished.

With a college degree, you can enter into a company at a much higher level. In our company there are many, many positions that a bachelors degree is the minimum requirement in order to EVEN APPLY for the job.

Just my .02 Cents

[ORION]

I too have to deal with the douche bag father of my step daughter.

[ATRAIN]

you never fail to dissapoint B2b

[JoeChalupa]

I know some may not see things my way but I can see their father acting that way because I know that would more than likely be my reaction if someone else told something to my kids that I did not agree with.
That being said I agree with B2B's view of college. The main thing is to have a plan to get you where you want to go.

[PM5K]

While I agree with your stance, I'm not quite sure that's what I'd tell my kids and I might rather them have an education that would open up a lot more opportunities than a trade school would, which is basically one job.

[CosmicCowboy]

So do you pull their homework assignments out of their backpacks and hide them and put vaseline on their DP's in the fridge? You want to be sure and prepare them for all lifes challenges at their future jobs...

[Shelly]

So do you pull their homework assignments out of their backpacks and hide them and put vaseline on their DP's in the fridge? You want to be sure and prepare them for all lifes challenges at their future jobs...

:lol

[JoeChalupa]

While I agree with your stance, I'm not quite sure that's what I'd tell my kids and I might rather them have an education that would open up a lot more opportunities than a trade school would, which is basically one job.

I push education everyday to my kids but trade schools are a great option for those who don't want to take all those non related courses and just concentrate on the field of their choice. I don't consider it a one job dead end.

[MannyIsGod]

He thinks he can afford it but he can't. You did the right thing B2B, but next time you should throw in an arie gold bitch slap special, imo.

[MannyIsGod]

Here is my only point about the positive of going to college.......if you dont go, you have to either own your own business, or work you way up through the lowest of ranks in a company to be accomplished.

With a college degree, you can enter into a company at a much higher level. In our company there are many, many positions that a bachelors degree is the minimum requirement in order to EVEN APPLY for the job.

Just my .02 Cents

College isn't for everyone.

[BacktoBasics]

Here is my only point about the positive of going to college.......if you dont go, you have to either own your own business, or work you way up through the lowest of ranks in a company to be accomplished.

With a college degree, you can enter into a company at a much higher level. In our company there are many, many positions that a bachelors degree is the minimum requirement in order to EVEN APPLY for the job.

Just my .02 Cents


Well the point would be to narrow down the intention before graduating HS. How often do we see people so undecided ultimately fuck up schooling so much they have to go backwards before going forwards or simply piss away the entire experience. I'm not discounting College at all which is the point of my stance with this guy. I'm simply pointing out that it could be utilized much more effectively.


While I agree with your stance, I'm not quite sure that's what I'd tell my kids and I might rather them have an education that would open up a lot more opportunities than a trade school would, which is basically one job.

Bouncing off my point above the idea is to use HS as an opportunity to figure out whats important vs. waiting till the last minute. Somewhere along the lines we've built on the idea that we don't have to plan our future until we're two years into College. Two years that we spent hating being there just like HS. Going thru the motions because we have to all while waiting for some epiphany to lead us to our future.

There's no reason to exclude the idea of a trade school or specialty program geared twords your primary objective and then use college to compliment the idea.

Like this:

Chef - Culinary school.

Basics - Community College.

Higher learning - Some type of business or finance degree.


However if you have a plan and you prepare yourself you don't need a college degree to write a winning business proposal which is where so many business's fail. You could redirect a large portion of money in a different direction if the plan fits and its solid. Then baby step twords more education if you like.

The dream is lost with the inability to walk away from a steady job once you're 30-35-40 and come to terms with wanting to do something different or something you wanted to do when you were younger but couldn't accomplish because you did it by the book and went to college and got a decent job. At that point with 2-3 kids its hard to give up a shitty 50k a year job to rebuild yourself. Too many people are dependent on your steady paycheck to piss it away for a prior dream. Do it up front and line up your options earlier then zero in on a plan you're passionate about.

[BacktoBasics]

So do you pull their homework assignments out of their backpacks and hide them and put vaseline on their DP's in the fridge? You want to be sure and prepare them for all lifes challenges at their future jobs...:lmao that is fucking awesome.

[BacktoBasics]

I'm not totally pitching the "college isn't for everyone" line. I'm simply stating that there are other ways, possibly better, to accomplish your goals. Misused college does nothing. You have to use it properly for it to pay off.

[JoeChalupa]

To a certain degree I can understand how important a college education is in today's society. It is what it is and there are many jobs the do require a college degree.

[MannyIsGod]

A Masters is a new bachelors because a lot of these fuckers who are getting degrees that have no right getting a degree. I know people accepted to UTSA's grad school program who barely have high school literacy. Are you fucking kidding me?

[ashbeeigh]

I understand you B2B. All these other options you've mentioned though, culinary school, photography, accounting; they all are also another type of education as well. So you're just saying an "accredited university" isn't always the answer.


Hell, after college I was a flippin' telemarketer with people who dropped out of high school.


But a bachelors degree is a bachelors degree, no matter what way you slice it. Anywhere you go "degree required:" you slap that on your resume anywhere HR is going to look at you harder then if you have "certification from ABCD community college."

Again, though, like anything the Bachelors could not be he right thing. My degree wasn't right for "Business training" at west. (screw them to this day for pulling that crap...)

Just my 2 cents like everyone else.

[tonylongoriafan]

about the view of college, if its about money, thats understandable. it's crazy expensive. i worked my way through undergrad and would have done the same for grad if i didn't choose a private school (cowboyed up)...but if it's about time, c'mon! college is the most fun time in a person's life. true you don't have any real money, live in a box, have no material possessions, and are a slave to a text book with no real-world meaning, but it's a part of growing as a person and quality of life. all colored bubbles aside, that's what it's all about, and the years spent on campus are an important part of that...now, if affordability is the issue than thats a different story.

[MrChug]

College isn't for everyone.

You beat me to it and it could quite honestly be the one certainty in life. Maybe the educational system will figure out a way for it to be FOR everyone, but I digress.

3 things:

-you really can't force any "college age" kid to go to college. No matter what they'll do whatever they want no matter what your age or relationship to them. It's always been some interesting form of rebellion to them.
-based upon the truth of MIG^^^, the fact is that I've done very very well for myself by simply working my way up the "corporate ladder" and working my ass off to become the best at what I do.
-the above statement won't work in all reality in the future so yes...kick their ass and get them to go to college :lol

[J.T.]

Four year degrees are the new high school diploma... I sure as shit am not going to school because I want to, I'm going to school because my grandmother paid for a tuition plan and I don't have to pay for school. I rarely attend class, cheat when I do, and have invested more time learning about sex positions and psychopharmacology than I have in my school courses.

Grad school is the new four year degree and I'm not going to fucking grad school.

[tonylongoriafan]

You beat me to it and it could quite honestly be the one certainty in life. Maybe the educational system will figure out a way for it to be FOR everyone, but I digress.

3 things:

-you really can't force any "college age" kid to go to college. No matter what they'll do whatever they want no matter what your age or relationship to them. It's always been some interesting form of rebellion to them.
-based upon the truth of MIG^^^, the fact is that I've done very very well for myself by simply working my way up the "corporate ladder" and working my ass off to become the best at what I do.
-the above statement won't work in all reality in the future so yes...kick their ass and get them to go to college :lol

+1 :toast

i've done the same...i have my education but didn't really need it to get where i am (i could have bought a new car with the $40k i spent on grad school)...but i have it, it's mine, no one can take it away and i can't possibly see how it could hurt anyone who has the means to pay for it.

[PM5K]

He thinks he can afford it but he can't. You did the right thing B2B, but next time you should throw in an arie gold bitch slap special, imo.

You saw that, I loved that shit but I think we'd both agree shit between them is far from over...

[CuckingFunt]

The real thing to do is to stress that college is a wonderful idea if you want to learn. Not if you want to make money, not if you want to pigeonhole yourself into one possible career track, not if you want to appease your parents, but if you have a genuine thirst for knowledge and new information, college is fantastic. If you don't have that desire, college is a boring waste of time and you'd be better off pursuing something else.

Everyone I know who forced themselves to go to college right after high school for all the wrong reasons either ended up dropping out (like I did initally), or stuck in a career they hated and itching to go back to school in their 30s.



To demonstrate my point:

Four year degrees are the new high school diploma... I sure as shit am not going to school because I want to, I'm going to school because my grandmother paid for a tuition plan and I don't have to pay for school. I rarely attend class, cheat when I do, and have invested more time learning about sex positions and psychopharmacology than I have in my school courses.

Grad school is the new four year degree and I'm not going to fucking grad school.

[JoeChalupa]

The real thing to do is to stress that college is a wonderful idea if you want to learn. Not if you want to make money, not if you want to pigeonhole yourself into one possible career track, not if you want to appease your parents, but if you have a genuine thirst for knowledge and new information, college is fantastic. If you don't have that desire, college is a boring waste of time and you'd be better off pursuing something else.

Everyone I know who forced themselves to go to college right after high school for all the wrong reasons either ended up dropping out (like I did initally), or stuck in a career they hated and itching to go back to school in their 30s.



To demonstrate my point:


Originally Posted by J.T. View Post

Four year degrees are the new high school diploma... I sure as shit am not going to school because I want to, I'm going to school because my grandmother paid for a tuition plan and I don't have to pay for school. I rarely attend class, cheat when I do, and have invested more time learning about sex positions and psychopharmacology than I have in my school courses.

Grad school is the new four year degree and I'm not going to fucking grad school.

Damn

[ORION]

My son is going straight to the NBA

[T Park]

He's military so that explains much of it


Sorry I have too much respect for the people in the millitary and stopped reading after this tripe.

[Jekka]

I initially wanted to take some time off of school after high school, but my parents pretty much forced me to go (and had I waited, I wouldn't have gotten my grant from the state that paid more than half my tuition). My undergraduate degrees definitely weren't vocational - History and American Studies don't really grab employers unless you want to teach history, and I didn't want to teach. But I ended up in a field that requires a masters anyways, so it all worked out.

In retrospect, it's probably good I didn't take any time off - getting through grad school this early means I have more time to pay off my graduate loans, hooraaaaay.

[BacktoBasics]

Sorry I have too much respect for the people in the millitary and stopped reading after this tripe.Good because you just saved me 15 minutes of trying to explain the simplist of shit to you because like always you decided to open your mouth without fully understanding the thread.

[CuckingFunt]

I initially wanted to take some time off of school after high school, but my parents pretty much forced me to go (and had I waited, I wouldn't have gotten my grant from the state that paid more than half my tuition). My undergraduate degrees definitely weren't vocational - History and American Studies don't really grab employers unless you want to teach history, and I didn't want to teach. But I ended up in a field that requires a masters anyways, so it all worked out.

In retrospect, it's probably good I didn't take any time off - getting through grad school this early means I have more time to pay off my graduate loans, hooraaaaay.

Yeah, I'm glad I dropped out and took a few years to figure out what I really wanted to study, but I'm considerably less happy about the fact I may very well be in school until I'm 36.

[Shelly]

I didn't go to college. I HATED high school. I asked my mom why she and my dad never pushed me to go to college and she just replied that they knew it wasn't for me. I didn't know what I wanted to do after high school. I am fortunate that not having a degree worked out okay for me.

[I. Hustle]

I agree with the whole not having to go to college thing. I understand that to get what you want you have to figure out the fastest and best route to get there instead of just blindly spending years somewhere and still just spinning your wheels.
I admittedly jacked up my life by not choosing to continue my education and I took a different route that didn’t actually turn out the way I wanted but that’s a completely different story that is too long to get into.
The only thing I didn’t completely agree with was having them call their father out. I know I don’t have all the facts so I am not slamming you, but what does that accomplish? Teach them to think for themselves and come to their own conclusions yes but teens are already stubborn and rebellious enough without adding to that. I just know that if I did that I would cause a lot of added stress because of my wife’s ex arguing with her about that stuff and in turn would cause a fight between us. Like I said though I don’t know the facts and he could be throwing out stuff about either you or your wife or even saying that pigs shit cocoa puffs and they should give them a try.

[MannyIsGod]

Yeah, I'm glad I dropped out and took a few years to figure out what I really wanted to study, but I'm considerably less happy about the fact I may very well be in school until I'm 36.

+1

Sucks to be us sometimes but at least I'm confident in what I'm doing now.

[Bigzax]

of course, having a college degree in your back pocket at the ripe old age of 21 or 22 while others are still trying to figure out what they want to do isn't bad either...:wakeup

[BacktoBasics]

The only thing I didn’t completely agree with was having them call their father out. I know I don’t have all the facts so I am not slamming you, but what does that accomplish?I hear you. Its probably not the right thing or maybe it is I don't entirely know yet.

I just got sick and tired of their father promising them things and not following thru.

Examples

When dad used to live in Florida.

Dick: I bought both you girls Ipods for your birthday.

Girls: awesome here's are address please send them

then the ipods would never show up and he'd avoid their calls for two months. Then call when he had leave and decides to come visit. Still no ipods and then only because they didn't forget (I wouldn't let them) he'd take them to the store to finally fulfill the promise.


Dick: I bought you both cell phones.

Girls: awesome can we text with them.

Dick: text your heart out.

then the dick cuts the phones off once he gets the bill and sees how expensive they are. Meanwhile the kids are embarrassed because their friend are trying to call and text a phone out of service.

I bought them new phones with unlimited text and minutes because he refused to turn their service back on. Then told the girls to never ask for phones from him again because they took the ones I bought.

Regular promises that are never followed thru. You can get by with shit like that with little kids but not teenagers.

little shit stuff like this.

Trips to the mall turn into trips to walmart
Trips to the beach turn into trips to their dads friends house but no beach
Dinner out is the McDonalds drive-thru.

and yeah the dude has money so its not a poverty thing he does for himself and only himself.

its just aggrivating.


The latest promise is how he's going to buy both of them cars. It'll never happen. I'm already stockpiling vehicles when the day comes.

[I. Hustle]

I hear you. Its probably not the right thing or maybe it is I don't entirely know yet.

I just got sick and tired of their father promising them things and not following thru.



See that kind of stuff I can understand which is why I wasn’t quick to attack. The other night my step son got it in his head that he wanted to spend the night at his dad’s house. Which is completely cool. The kid is only 4 and needs to be around his dad. Well he get’s my wife to call and he (the dad) is like well I don’t know if I can, can you tell him next time blah blah blah and my wife was like no you tell him. I was so proud of her. The dude always tells him they are going to the movies and the lake and stuff like that and then backs out the day of. So I can understand that. The kid is barely going to be 5 and his dad doesn’t understand that if this keeps going on he is going to end up being the one blown off when the kid gets older.

[BacktoBasics]

See that kind of stuff I can understand which is why I wasn’t quick to attack. The other night my step son got it in his head that he wanted to spend the night at his dad’s house. Which is completely cool. The kid is only 4 and needs to be around his dad. Well he get’s my wife to call and he (the dad) is like well I don’t know if I can, can you tell him next time blah blah blah and my wife was like no you tell him. I was so proud of her. The dude always tells him they are going to the movies and the lake and stuff like that and then backs out the day of. So I can understand that. The kid is barely going to be 5 and his dad doesn’t understand that if this keeps going on he is going to end up being the one blown off when the kid gets older.
Its sad to have to put up with this shit. Well sad then angering.

[I. Hustle]

No joke. Why can't all guys be like us?

[RandomGuy]

Let me preface this with the obvious fact that this dude and I don't get along well. He's neanderthal (sup Manny) like in the way he does things. Plus I don't think he's a very good father to these girls in the first place. He's military so that explains much of it. I know some people don't like to hear it but Military people are so finite in the way they think. It always has to be simple and obvious for things to be accomplished. I'm not saying thats how all military people are but breaking down the man to build the soldier is apparent in so many of them.


First and foremost I don't appreciate people showing up where I work to discuss personal issues but I didn't blow up about it. Douchebag wants to talk to me outside so we step out.

Douchebag: I don't want you to ever tell my girls they don't have to go to college? What kind of irresponsible shit is this.

Me: I love how you have the entire story straight. I never said not to go to college I simply said that they shouldn't go for the sake of going. The oldest asked me if she had to go like she does HS and Middle School and I told her the truth and thats college is an option. She'll have the choice to go.

Douchebag: :stupid fucking pissed off look:

Me: Furthermore I sat down with both of them and explained candidly that society has turned college into some kind of must have form of higher education so now we're stuck with millions of kids taking it for granted. The idea at this point is to allow these kids world to grow through High School. This way by the time they reach their Senior year they have 4 or 5 potential careers on a short list. This way if one of them decides to follow a dream of being a....

Chef: We'll line up Culinary School and rather than pay 80k for a worthless College degree we can concentrate the schooling on the craft and a take out a signature loan to start a business. It'll be cheaper than sending them to Texas or Baylor or wherever.

Photographer: We'll line up Photography school and narrow down a list of options like. Weddings, special events, family portrait and again pull out a loan to line up a business.

Accountant: We can once again arrange for a particular college and a plan of action to accomplish this. Then we can hopefully set up an intern job to prepare her to either work for someone or herself.

You see I'm not ruling out college I'm saying that there is a right way to go and a wrong way. If there is specialty schooling available then thats the right path to take. Why waste so much time and MONEY pissing away two years in some mid level school trying to decide who and what you want to be when you can narrow it down and prepare them now. This way money and time isn't wasted its utilized to execute a path that gives these girls the highest percentage of success.

If you cram going to college down their throats they'll resent it and its likely to stiffle their ability to rationally think of who and what they want to become because its another 4 or 5 years of shit schooling ahead. Getting education on something isn't so bad when you're doing it because you want to accomplish something specific. The world isn't as small and restrictive as it once was.

DB: I just don't agree with this at all. These kids need an education.

Me: :rolleyes go ahead and tell them whatever you want to tell them. I'm not saying they don't need schooling all I'm saying is that they should be smarter about it. Its your relationship to strain do whatever you want. Its not as if you're going to pay for their tuition in the first place.

DB: I'm capable of paying.

Me: Good I hope so because its expensive.

and oh since you're so capable I expect you to reimburse me a good 300 bucks for half the girls school clothes and the youngest ones glasses. You know as well as I do those expenses are outlined clearly in the divorce papers. I got to get back to work Don't show up at my work again.

DB: we'll finish this later.

/end/

I'll assume there are others who don't see it my way.

That is EXACTLY how I see education, and exactly what I will be teaching my two boys.

I started college at age 26, and so many of my 19 year old classmates were there for ONE reason: Their parents made them go, and were paying for it.

They didn't have a clue what they wanted to be or do, and were, as I was at that age, more interested in partying and getting laid than school. It showed in every class and every test.

The same was just as true in the undergrad courses I had to take for my masters. Full of kids who did not have clue one.

Colleges have become degree mills, and often ill serve their students by just giving them an education without context or really asking the kids what they want to do before letting them pick.

[Jekka]

Their parents made them go, and were paying for it.

Most of my friends from high school that went straight to college ended up getting some support from their parents while they were in classes, but none of the loans are in their parents' names and they are paying them off themselves - it has made some of them regret going to private and/or out of state schools when they found out later that they need a graduate degree. I was admittedly a little pissed off that I ended up at my safety school, but it has worked out in my favor in the long run. I'm glad that I can take out loans to get a masters in the program of my choice.

It's something else to think about when deciding where and when to go to school. With so many people going into graduate programs now, there's no guarantee that you'll get a lot of scholarship and grant help - they save that help for the PhD students with the philosophy that a masters is really a professional degree as opposed to the purely academic/research nature of the doctorate.

[mrsmaalox]

of course, having a college degree in your back pocket at the ripe old age of 21 or 22 while others are still trying to figure out what they want to do isn't bad either...:wakeup

This is true. I made 50k at age 23 while some of my friends worked at the mall, "taking a break, deciding what to do". I've now paid at least 10yrs more into my retirement than they have. And I will not not be working until age 65 like they will. And I love my profession.

[PM5K]

This is true. I made 50k at age 23 while some of my friends worked at the mall, "taking a break, deciding what to do". I've now paid at least 10yrs more into my retirement than they have. And I will not not be working until age 65 like they will. And I love my profession.

Sounds about right...

[I. Hustle]

This is true. I made 50k at age 23 while some of my friends worked at the mall, "taking a break, deciding what to do". I've now paid at least 10yrs more into my retirement than they have. And I will not not be working until age 65 like they will. And I love my profession.

What do you do?

It isn't by chance the world's oldest profession is it? j/k

[leemajors]

Whatever you do, don't get a liberal arts degree unless you wanna teach or do research. Mine has been gathering dust for 9 years. And it's not about a degree for jobs anyway, it's who you know, who they know, and how high up who you know knows is.

[atxrocker]

And it's not about a degree for jobs anyway, it's who you know, who they know, and how high up who you know knows is.

100% agree, got a cousin who gets a new job every couple of years from people he knows and is making tons of money at his newest job without a degree. the dude's only 25.

[Clandestino]

College isn't for everyone.

Yes, look at Manny, he is 43 and still going to college. First, he was going to an environmental scientist, then a politician, now he thinks he is fucking weatherman. After 22 years of school he is still deciding.

[ploto]

While I completely understand your frustration with the father (believe me-- I understand entirely too well) I would suggest in the future that the discussions about issues such as these be between the kids' mother and the dad- not you. It really is "her job" to handle these things with him. I deal with way too much crap with my child's father, but I am the one to do it. It is my responsibility and avoids the situation of pitting biological parent vs step parent.

[Tits McGee]

Yes, look at Manny, he is 43 and still going to college. First, he was going to an environmental scientist, then a politician, now he thinks he is fucking weatherman. After 22 years of school he is still deciding.

A little sarcastic don't you think? Doesn't a couple of semesters in community college count for something? Dude's on his way.

[TDMVPDPOY]

oi B2B

if ur thinkn of sending ur children to college, there is a shortcut around it and way fuckn cheaper....get ur children to do some course thats alternative to college, but the standard of education is equivalent and internship on the side, then apply for college, you get unit credits..therefore you only have to do like half of the subjects to get the degree, then you can move urself up for high qualification education if needed.

[2Blonde]

:lmao I didn't marry a military guy. I married the former wife of a military guy.


Let me break it down for you in Military terms.

My Wife
Military guy

= married back in the day with two girls

They split

Me
My wife: who was once married to military guy

= married we have the girls

Military guy = bitter douchebag who thinks backwards and hates me.

Almost like mine:
Me
Backwoods/ Dumbass/ Gym teacher/ Coach

= married back in the day with one girl

We split

Me
My new awesome Military guy

= married we have girl living with us.

Backwoods/ Dumbass/ Gym teacher/ Coach Guy= bitter douchebag who thinks backwards and hates me & my awesome husband.

* BTW you're right about him straining their relationship. My daughter, by her own decision, hasn't seen or spoken to her bio-dad in over 3 years.

[ShoogarBear]

Yeah, I'm glad I dropped out and took a few years to figure out what I really wanted to study, but I'm considerably less happy about the fact I may very well be in school until I'm 36.

Holy crap, that's old. I got out when I was 33.

[MannyIsGod]

:lol I'm 43

Sweet.

I feel older than I am I times but who knew I actually was?

[mrsmaalox]

What do you do?

It isn't by chance the world's oldest profession is it? j/k

It's almost as enjoyable! I'm a nurse, I have a BSN. On a child raising hiatus at the moment.

[IronMexican]

College? Who needs high school.:bking

[IronMexican]

* BTW you're right about him straining their relationship. My daughter, by her own decision, hasn't seen or spoken to her bio-dad in over 3 years.

Good for her. I haven't seen my mom in over a year, and never want to. Some things you just can't fix, and that's one of them.

[mrsmaalox]

While I completely understand your frustration with the father (believe me-- I understand entirely too well) I would suggest in the future that the discussions about issues such as these be between the kids' mother and the dad- not you. It really is "her job" to handle these things with him. I deal with way too much crap with my child's father, but I am the one to do it. It is my responsibility and avoids the situation of pitting biological parent vs step parent.

I think you're right. As many friends as I have in this same situation, some of whom I've known 20+ years, the kids always fare better without interference from step parent. The absolute worst disasters are when the step parent assumes too much responsibility; but on second thought--that only happens when the biological parent defers their responsibility to the step parent. Granted this asshat went to B2B's job and that is totally uncool, but B2B stayed in control and informed him not to show up there ever again. Now wife needs to reinforce this to the jerk and make sure he understands that she is the first line of communication for anything involving the children.

[BacktoBasics]

I think you're right. As many friends as I have in this same situation, some of whom I've known 20+ years, the kids always fare better without interference from step parent. The absolute worst disasters are when the step parent assumes too much responsibility; but on second thought--that only happens when the biological parent defers their responsibility to the step parent. Granted this asshat went to B2B's job and that is totally uncool, but B2B stayed in control and informed him not to show up there ever again. Now wife needs to reinforce this to the jerk and make sure he understands that she is the first line of communication for anything involving the children.Under most normal circumstances I would advise that step parents see their way out and let the bio's handle the kids. Thats exactly what I did for the first year and half almost two years.

I kept waking up telling myself. Self if you continue to let this dipshit mislead his girls and if you continue to let other people care for these kids problems you're allowing these kids to be set up for failure right before your own eyes. I was tired of waking up feeling like I was the guy driving by a car wreck without stopping. I couldn't live with myself if these kids grew up to be failures because of a broken home. So I stepped in and started leading the way. Its not as if the Father ever played a huge role in their lives. They'd see him twice a year until he started to see that I was more of a Dad than he was. This is why after trying for a year he finally found a way to move and serve in the same town as us. Its wasn't so much for the kids but more to show me up, which he's failed miserably at.

I'm not going to stand by and watch this douche bag dick up their lives for his precious ego. So far they're receptive to me because they know I'm putting them first. Hopefully they thank me later. I've never suggested that they don't have a close relationship with their dad I've just made sure to point out a better way to do things and the flaws in his logic. This way they can see its not a personal attack on their dad but more of an opportunity to make better choices because they have options.

[ORION]

My daughter, by her own decision, hasn't seen or spoken to her bio-dad in over 3 years.

How old is your daughter ?

[mrsmaalox]

....... Hopefully they thank me later....

Oh they absolutely will!! Kids are really smart, they always figure out what's what when it comes to their parents. :tu

[lebomb]

I dont know......college opened many doors for me. There is no way I could have been in management at my company without a degree.

Also, I dont think I would want say a lawyer, or doctor, dentist or engineer doing shit for me without a degree to show they are well educated in their field. About the ONLY field I can see you dont really need a degree in is business. Anyone can run a business IMHO.

*shrugs*

[BacktoBasics]

I dont know......college opened many doors for me. There is no way I could have been in management at my company without a degree.

Also, I dont think I would want say a lawyer, or doctor, dentist or engineer doing shit for me without a degree to show they are well educated in their field. About the ONLY field I can see you dont really need a degree in is business. Anyone can run a business IMHO.

*shrugs*
I'm going to say it again.

I'm not saying don't get a degree. All I'm saying is to be smart about it. If you want to be a chef I would formulate a plan that leds you in the right direction. I wouldn't suggest a degree from UTSA. There are better ways.

If you're going to be a dentist or doctor I would hope you'd be smart enough to get the appropriate degree to do so and from an appropriate school.

I'm specifically saying to be more intelligent about your education not to avoid it. The part about not going to school was me simply telling the kids that it was an option not a requirement.

I'm not an advocate for passing on higher education I'm an advocate for better planning.

[lebomb]

I'm going to say it again.

I'm not saying don't get a degree. All I'm saying is to be smart about it. If you want to be a chef I would formulate a plan that leds you in the right direction. I wouldn't suggest a degree from UTSA. There are better ways.

If you're going to be a dentist or doctor I would hope you'd be smart enough to get the appropriate degree to do so and from an appropriate school.

I'm specifically saying to be more intelligent about your education not to avoid it. The part about not going to school was me simply telling the kids that it was an option not a requirement.

I'm not an advocate for passing on higher education I'm an advocate for better planning.

First of all I wasnt directing this comment to you......It was to a few other that completely dismiss a college education.

Re-read your post and I wiped out alot I had to say.

Laterz!

[BacktoBasics]

First of all I wasnt directing this comment to you......It was to a few other that completely dismiss a college education. Also, I have a degree from Utsa and have 10 individuals from other more popular universities that answer to me. Im sure the schools you consider supperior. To be honest with you.......it really, really and I mean really doesnt matter where you go, as long as your GPA is good. I know people from schools so small and insignificant you never heard of probably, but they have great positions in great companies.

Anyhow, Im done.....just threw my measly opinion out there.

Laterz!Point taken. I realize that in many cases where you go doesn't play a huge role in the hiring process but it doesn't make sense to attend UTSA for a culinary degree. Not that UTSA couldn't compliment a degree from a more prestigious culinary school. The other thing you aren't taking into consideration is that some schools have better facilities for specific fields of work and along with those better facilities you usually find programs and extra-curricular clubs and associations that are put in place to help get you into stronger internships or better jobs. Your failing to see the bigger picture.

A brief example. My father used to work for Ernst & Young. They didn't even consider kids coming out of UTSA unless there were additional requirments met. These for entry level jobs paying 27k a year. Starting pay and position out of certain schools were higher. There were programs out of Texas that they poached from regularly. I'm not saying its that way everywhere but sometimes certain affilations that come with certain schools can play a huge role in where you find work.

Sometimes and more than you think its not what you know its who you know.

[Shelly]

Um...doctors HAVE to go to medical school and do a residency, so I think it's safe to say they have an appropriate degree. A lot of them also become board certified in their specialty, too.

That's not to say there aren't some shitty doctors out there, though.

B2B, your step-kids are very lucky to have you looking out for them :tu

[lebomb]

Point taken. I realize that in many cases where you go doesn't play a huge role in the hiring process but it doesn't make sense to attend UTSA for a culinary degree. Not that UTSA couldn't compliment a degree from a more prestigious culinary school. The other thing you aren't taking into consideration is that some schools have better facilities for specific fields of work and along with those better facilities you usually find programs and extra-curricular clubs and associations that are put in place to help get you into stronger internships or better jobs. Your failing to see the bigger picture.

A brief example. My father used to work for Ernst & Young. They didn't even consider kids coming out of UTSA unless there were additional requirments met. These for entry level jobs paying 27k a year. Starting pay and position out of certain schools were higher. There were programs out of Texas that they poached from regularly. I'm not saying its that way everywhere but sometimes certain affilations that come with certain schools can play a huge role in where you find work.

Sometimes and more than you think its not what you know its who you know.

Yeah, I kind of misread your post at first. Anyhow, I see your point as well.....a university has to have credentials in certain areas to make them more appealing. I will say this......besides myself.....I know two people personally that graduated from Utsa and work for LARGE US companies as well and both are directors. They have entire departments and teams that work for them where the employees graduated from the Big 12 schools (including the school you mentioned .............. UT), the Pac-10 and SEC conferences to name a few. So its all relative my friend. Anyhow, have to go now........

Have a good day. :toast

[BacktoBasics]

I just used UTSA as an example. I wasn't knocking it.

[lebomb]

I just used UTSA as an example. I wasn't knocking it.


I know......just saying. I actually agree with you on "you dont HAVE to go to college".

I was just saying a degree does open doors to fields that you may normally not be able to get into without a degree.

Anyone can open a business, that is one degree you really do not need In my opinion.......unless maybe you are trying to get into E & Y :hat

[I. Hustle]

You gots a PHD. A PLAYA HATAS DEGREE YO! OOOOOOOOHHHHHH SNAP

[ploto]

Under most normal circumstances I would advise that step parents see their way out and let the bio's handle the kids. Thats exactly what I did for the first year and half almost two years.

I kept waking up telling myself. Self if you continue to let this dipshit mislead his girls and if you continue to let other people care for these kids problems you're allowing these kids to be set up for failure right before your own eyes. I was tired of waking up feeling like I was the guy driving by a car wreck without stopping. I couldn't live with myself if these kids grew up to be failures because of a broken home. So I stepped in and started leading the way. Its not as if the Father ever played a huge role in their lives. They'd see him twice a year until he started to see that I was more of a Dad than he was. This is why after trying for a year he finally found a way to move and serve in the same town as us. Its wasn't so much for the kids but more to show me up, which he's failed miserably at.

I'm not going to stand by and watch this douche bag dick up their lives for his precious ego. So far they're receptive to me because they know I'm putting them first. Hopefully they thank me later. I've never suggested that they don't have a close relationship with their dad I've just made sure to point out a better way to do things and the flaws in his logic. This way they can see its not a personal attack on their dad but more of an opportunity to make better choices because they have options.

I am sorry but I still have yet to see you mention their mother and her job to step in and do these things. I understand your wanting to help them out and be a good parent to them- especially in the absence of the father- but it still should all start with her-- her talking to her kids and her talking to him.

[BacktoBasics]

I am sorry but I still have yet to see you mention their mother and her job to step in and do these things. I understand your wanting to help them out and be a good parent to them- especially in the absence of the father- but it still should all start with her-- her talking to her kids and her talking to him.Mom will echo my points. We work together and discuss it first then she and I usually approach the kids together. I'll expand on my thoughts or she'll do the same. There is no sense in the Mom talking to Dad. He'll just end up yelling at her and hang up then bad mouth her to the kids so I told her to quite attempting to be civil with the guy because its a waste of time. Just talk to him when its absolutely necessary.

I originally asked that the three of us meet twice a month to discuss everything going on with the kids so we are all on the same page...a united front so there wouldn't be a dad said but mom said situation. He would either not show up or turn the evening into an excuse to go off on her.

[lebomb]

Sounds like her EX is still bitter and has noway to control any part of your wifes life. That sucks.

[MannyIsGod]

of course, having a college degree in your back pocket at the ripe old age of 21 or 22 while others are still trying to figure out what they want to do isn't bad either...:wakeup

You're mostly right, but what if you end up with something you hate and 60k or so in debt? And that debt is on the low side.

[lebomb]

You're mostly right, but what if you end up with something you hate and 60k or so in debt? And that debt is on the low side.

I worked and paid my way through college........going part time. Yes, it took 10yrs. But, I owed $500 when I graduated and that has been almost 15yrs ago. So, there is more than one way to skin a cat. :hat

[MannyIsGod]

I worked and paid my way through college........going part time. Yes, it took 10yrs. But, I owed $500 when I graduated and that has been almost 15yrs ago. So, there is more than one way to skin a cat. :hat

Absolutely. But the fact is that a lot of people are entering their early 20s with fucktons of debt and either not finishing school or leaving with a degree they hate. The good thing is that you can usually transition a 4 year degree you dont' like into a graduate program you do like. But thats more school and more debt.

[lebomb]

But the fact is that a lot of people are entering their early 20s with fucktons of debt

This is true as well........I know several people that owe over 50K in student loans. I think one is closer to 100k.

Student loans MUST be paid back. Cant get outta that whatsoever.

[tonylongoriafan]

This is true as well........I know several people that owe over 50K in student loans. I think one is closer to 100k.

Student loans MUST be paid back. Cant get outta that whatsoever.

i'm rocking 40K from grad school alone...and that's because i paid undergrad cash :bang but what's the alternative? a new car? a house worth 40k more? it shouldn't be quid pro quo...more education more money. i was glad to go, i learned a bunch at grad school. the truth is we finance everything (look at what's happening in america) and probably nothing is more important than an education.

[BacktoBasics]

i'm rocking 40K from grad school alone...and that's because i paid undergrad cash :bang but what's the alternative? a new car? a house worth 40k more? it shouldn't be quid pro quo...more education more money. i was glad to go, i learned a bunch at grad school. the truth is we finance everything (look at what's happening in america) and probably nothing is more important than an education.The alternative and I'm not saying its a perfect plan for everyone because each situation is different would be to utilize that money with slightly less education and a kick ass business plan to work the self employment angle.

Most jobs that require extra education could probably be done just as easily by the guy with less education. Obviously thats not always the case but thats the alternative.

[CuckingFunt]

Absolutely. But the fact is that a lot of people are entering their early 20s with fucktons of debt and either not finishing school or leaving with a degree they hate. The good thing is that you can usually transition a 4 year degree you dont' like into a graduate program you do like. But thats more school and more debt.

I think part of the problem is that college has become so expensive, especially if you go private or out of state, that there's tremendous pressure to know what you want to do and work solely towards that goal. College is just a means to an end anymore. And, I'm sorry, but in the history of forever there's never been an 18-year-old who knows 100% what they want to be when they grow up. One of the best things about college is experimenting with different classes and different areas and figuring out what interests you, but at $30K/year it's really hard to justify such a lax attitude.

[BacktoBasics]

I think part of the problem is that college has become so expensive, especially if you go private or out of state, that there's tremendous pressure to know what you want to do and work solely towards that goal. College is just a means to an end anymore. And, I'm sorry, but in the history of forever there's never been an 18-year-old who knows 100% what they want to be when they grow up. One of the best things about college is experimenting with different classes and different areas and figuring out what interests you, but at $30K/year it's really hard to justify such a lax attitude.In my opinion the reason its that way is because the purpose and attitude in HS has changed. I think lots of kids know or have an idea of at least 3 or 4 things they'd love to do but haven't got the slightest idea on how to get there. HS counseling isn't as prep as it once was and you end up with kids having what parents call "halfcocked ideas" about their future. So they end up enrolling with no purpose.

Silly jobs aren't so silly anymore.

Video game designers
Fashion designers
Music industry reps, artists and producers
computer geeks
wood workers and craftsmen
NASCAR fans even have their own school

kids simply have no idea how to parlay their dreams into a feasable reality.

A kid says "I love art" and parents think of that as an elective.

There are thousands of well paying jobs in the art world. Not to mention all the commercials and print ads that are done by "artists". Its all about knowing how to work the angles to achieve a goal in an industry you love.

[I. Hustle]

http://i186.photobucket.com/albums/x293/brandyn10/KungLaosHatTrickFatality.gif

[CuckingFunt]

In my opinion the reason its that way is because the purpose and attitude in HS has changed. I think lots of kids know or have an idea of at least 3 or 4 things they'd love to do but haven't got the slightest idea on how to get there. HS counseling isn't as prep as it once was and you end up with kids having what parents call "halfcocked ideas" about their future. So they end up enrolling with no purpose.

Silly jobs aren't so silly anymore.

Video game designers
Fashion designers
Music industry reps, artists and producers
computer geeks
wood workers and craftsmen
NASCAR fans even have their own school

kids simply have no idea how to parlay their dreams into a feasable reality.

A kid says "I love art" and parents think of that as an elective.

There are thousands of well paying jobs in the art world. Not to mention all the commercials and print ads that are done by "artists". Its all about knowing how to work the angles to achieve a goal in an industry you love.

I definitely agree with that. Especially as someone pursuing an art/art history degree who constantly has to deal with the "But, how will you make money with that?" question.

My comment had more to do with the lack of life experience that a kid fresh out of high school has, though. I had no shortage of potential career ideas when I was 18, ranging from scientist to interior designer, but there should be room for change and adjustment when those ideas don't necessarily work out. Classes in fields that I thought would be interesting bored me to tears, and photography and art history, the two things about which I am now so passionate, weren't even on my radar until I was in my 20s.

Again, I absolutely agree that there should be more of an emphasis on guiding and encouraging kids to see the real life applications of whatever their interests may be. One hundred percent. But in my relatively short amount of time back on campus, I have already talked with so many 19 and 20-year-old kids who are in full crisis mode because they don't know how to break the news to their parents that psychology has become more interesting than biology. It seems to me that's a fairly recent pressure situation, as well. When I was first in college eleven years ago, practically everyone was either an undeclared major or frequently switching between ideas and it was no big deal, but that's just not the case anymore.

[Bigzax]

You're mostly right, but what if you end up with something you hate and 60k or so in debt? And that debt is on the low side.


hey i see your point clearly, i ended up with something i hate and 20K in debt...:lol


but to me that's life and work is work. that's why they call it work.

you and b2b have solid points that anyone making substantial investments needs to do the research and make sure they know what they are getting into and investigate all options. seems like common sense. i think b2b is doing his daughters a solid by educating them. :tu

luckily, in this day and age, just about any and every career can be researched over the internet, so i see no reason why a high school graduate with college aspirations shouldn't have a clear plan.

and of course plans go up in smoke all the time, but we adapt and adjust and keep moving forward and that makes us stronger individuals for it.

there were times i hated my degree choice, but the bottom line is that it has paid dividends and opened doors. there are tons of people working in fields not related to their degree and people change careers all the time these days...nature of the beast!

People that truly love their jobs and have true career fulfillment are relatively few and far between compared with the rest of us...you do what you gotta do to make a paycheck and pay the bills.

this is not to say you can't shoot for the dream! i say, if you have the means and the opportunity to take your time and do it right, then go for it.

otherwise? get to work you slackers!

[JoeChalupa]

Life is an education. Live and learn. Learn what you need to get you where you want to go. Have a plan is the key. You can always adapt along the way if necessary.

[jack sommerset]

Tell them go to college. Tell them to move out of SA.

[MannyIsGod]

I think part of the problem is that college has become so expensive, especially if you go private or out of state, that there's tremendous pressure to know what you want to do and work solely towards that goal. College is just a means to an end anymore. And, I'm sorry, but in the history of forever there's never been an 18-year-old who knows 100% what they want to be when they grow up. One of the best things about college is experimenting with different classes and different areas and figuring out what interests you, but at $30K/year it's really hard to justify such a lax attitude.

I just did pricing for the schools I'm looking to transfer to and I wanted to puke. If I go to UM then I'm looking at 30k a year and thats a fucking state school and doesn't include living expenses. I pretty much have to rule out any non public school without some sort of free ride and right now the most likely option is A&M here in state and tution is about half of what I'd pay almost anywhere else.

[MannyIsGod]

hey i see your point clearly, i ended up with something i hate and 20K in debt...:lol


but to me that's life and work is work. that's why they call it work.

you and b2b have solid points that anyone making substantial investments needs to do the research and make sure they know what they are getting into and investigate all options. seems like common sense. i think b2b is doing his daughters a solid by educating them. :tu

luckily, in this day and age, just about any and every career can be researched over the internet, so i see no reason why a high school graduate with college aspirations shouldn't have a clear plan.

and of course plans go up in smoke all the time, but we adapt and adjust and keep moving forward and that makes us stronger individuals for it.

there were times i hated my degree choice, but the bottom line is that it has paid dividends and opened doors. there are tons of people working in fields not related to their degree and people change careers all the time these days...nature of the beast!

People that truly love their jobs and have true career fulfillment are relatively few and far between compared with the rest of us...you do what you gotta do to make a paycheck and pay the bills.

this is not to say you can't shoot for the dream! i say, if you have the means and the opportunity to take your time and do it right, then go for it.

otherwise? get to work you slackers!

The funny thing is that most of the jobs I've worked with the exception of non profit work and a few shitty jobs here and there I've made more than I'm going to make with my degree. :lol


:(

[timvp]

Interesting thread.

My parents followed the "college is a must" mindset and it worked out for me ... but not in the most obvious of manners. I liked high school for the social interaction aspect but I hated actual school work. I gave about as little effort as possible and was basically a teacher's nightmare because I wouldn't pay attention, I'd sleep or I'd get in trouble for being disruptive ... but I'd end up with good grades. Any actual work I'd be doing would be homework that was due for an upcoming class. I've always been good at tests so I'd usually just ace those and then that would be good enough for at least A's and B's in the advanced classes I took.

But I hated (and still hate) classwork. I actually really like learning but doing tedious classwork for the sake of doing classwork never appealed to me. Anyways, yeah, my parents pushed me toward college. With my good enough grades and high standardized test scores, I got a academic scholarship that paid for about 50% of my college.

By that time, I was already making my own money so I paid cash for my own college tuition. But I hated college classwork even more. It was pointless and when you are paying your own money that you worked hard for, you quickly get a good grasp of whether or not college is worth it for you. My time in college came to an end when I had a check of my own money in my hand and realized how much of a waste it was for myself.

Since then, I've used my college experience in that I know I'd never want to go back. That has been enough motivation to succeed in the real world. I haven't had to work for someone else since I was 16 working at Albertson's ... so in that way college was a success for me.

What is interesting to me is my three younger brothers are all built for college. My parents continue to push for college ... but it makes a lot of sense because they are all damn smart, they like school and it'd be a waste if they didn't further their education. My younger brothers make timvp look like ducks posting drunk from a contaminated pond.

But my brothers won't have any of the financial burden I had. I paid for most everything on my own ... they will pay for next to nothing. Oddly enough I think I had the advantage in that aspect because it's almost impossible to value a dollar until you have to spend your own. It seems to me like the people who don't succeed in college or take it for granted are most likely the ones who think it's some sort of God given right and not something that costs actually money.

I do agree that college isn't for everyone, though. Some people just aren't cut out for furthering their eduction. Sometimes a person is ready to enter the business world right out of high school and sometimes a person is more cut out to enter a trade school to get a solid yet unspectacular job.

(Oh and I don't get the sentiment that everyone should go to college because it's the funnest time of your life. Instead of living in a small dorm, being broke and bogged down by school, try living in a nice place and having money while hanging out with people while in college. Not bad at all.

:smokin)

The factor I'd look at to determine if someone should go to college is whether or not they like school. Intelligence isn't even close to the number one factor. I know plenty of stupid people who have flourished in college. If you can stay motivated to do classwork, average or even below average intelligence is enough to go as far as the person wishes to go. I know people who have become physicians who I wouldn't even classify as average intelligence.

The worthlessness of a bachelor's degree turned out to be even more than I realized when I saw one of my brothers who graduated from Yale get job offers that weren't much different than those entering the workforce right out of high school. That's just crazy and it reinforces the point that you better at least get your master's if you want to get good value out of your college education. But even that doesn't guarantee anything nowadays.

Bottomline is that simply going to college doesn't promise anything. Having a goal and having the ambition to reach that goal is much more important. College, if done incorrectly, is a money waste of gargantuan proportions.

[PM5K]

Eh, I don't know.

I think I'd almost rather encourage my kids to go to college and have them wind up like TimVP than to not encourage them at all.

[Kamnik]

Interesting thread.

My parents followed the "college is a must" mindset and it worked out for me ... but not in the most obvious of manners. I liked high school for the social interaction aspect but I hated actual school work. I gave about as little effort as possible and was basically a teacher's nightmare because I wouldn't pay attention, I'd sleep or I'd get in trouble for being disruptive ... but I'd end up with good grades. Any actual work I'd be doing would be homework that was due for an upcoming class. I've always been good at tests so I'd usually just ace those and then that would be good enough for at least A's and B's in the advanced classes I took.

But I hated (and still hate) classwork. I actually really like learning but doing tedious classwork for the sake of doing classwork never appealed to me. Anyways, yeah, my parents pushed me toward college. With my good enough grades and high standardized test scores, I got a academic scholarship that paid for about 50% of my college.

By that time, I was already making my own money so I paid cash for my own college tuition. But I hated college classwork even more. It was pointless and when you are paying your own money that you worked hard for, you quickly get a good grasp of whether or not college is worth it for you. My time in college came to an end when I had a check of my own money in my hand and realized how much of a waste it was for myself.

Since then, I've used my college experience in that I know I'd never want to go back. That has been enough motivation to succeed in the real world. I haven't had to work for someone else since I was 16 working at Albertson's ... so in that way college was a success for me.

What is interesting to me is my three younger brothers are all built for college. My parents continue to push for college ... but it makes a lot of sense because they are all damn smart, they like school and it'd be a waste if they didn't further their education. My younger brothers make timvp look like ducks posting drunk from a contaminated pond.

But my brothers won't have any of the financial burden I had. I paid for most everything on my own ... they will pay for next to nothing. Oddly enough I think I had the advantage in that aspect because it's almost impossible to value a dollar until you have to spend your own. It seems to me like the people who don't succeed in college or take it for granted are most likely the ones who think it's some sort of God given right and not something that costs actually money.

I do agree that college isn't for everyone, though. Some people just aren't cut out for furthering their eduction. Sometimes a person is ready to enter the business world right out of high school and sometimes a person is more cut out to enter a trade school to get a solid yet unspectacular job.

(Oh and I don't get the sentiment that everyone should go to college because it's the funnest time of your life. Instead of living in a small dorm, being broke and bogged down by school, try living in a nice place and having money while hanging out with people while in college. Not bad at all.

:smokin)

The factor I'd look at to determine if someone should go to college is whether or not they like school. Intelligence isn't even close to the number one factor. I know plenty of stupid people who have flourished in college. If you can stay motivated to do classwork, average or even below average intelligence is enough to go as far as the person wishes to go. I know people who have become physicians who I wouldn't even classify as average intelligence.

The worthlessness of a bachelor's degree turned out to be even more than I realized when I saw one of my brothers who graduated from Yale get job offers that weren't much different than those entering the workforce right out of high school. That's just crazy and it reinforces the point that you better at least get your master's if you want to get good value out of your college education. But even that doesn't guarantee anything nowadays.

Bottomline is that simply going to college doesn't promise anything. Having a goal and having the ambition to reach that goal is much more important. College, if done incorrectly, is a money waste of gargantuan proportions.

Beautifully written. Our point of view considering education is basically identical.

The only big difference betwen us is I will actually finish college even though i hate all the school work and profesors with noses high in the air. (got to work hard 1 more year and i omver with this shit) Sence of duty or something i guess... (towards my parents mostly-not to disapoint them)

[Man Mountain]

If teens aren't pressured to go to college, most will go to the path of least resistance and not work until they reach an age where they realize being broke is not something to aspire to....