"Can you reset the Internet for me?"

[mrsmaalox]

:nerd This could have been me just a few short years ago! Anyone have any good stories to share?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20080924/od_afp/uscomputertechnologyoffbeat_080924171304;_ylt=Au07 A3JSAwUbkbmWTzlAcy.gOrgF
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"Can you reset the Internet for me?"


WASHINGTON (AFP) - Computer help desks are used to fielding oddball requests but sometimes the questions leave even the best of them stumped.

Such as: "Why isn't my wireless mouse connected to the computer?"

Or: "Can you reset the Internet for me?"

Then there was the questioner who asked: "Where can I get software to track UFOs?"

He was presumably not the same person who called in to report that "a skunk ate my cable."

Robert Half Technology, a provider of information technology professionals based in Menlo Park, California, asked 1,400 chief information officers from companies across the United States to come up with the most baffling questions their help desks or technical support teams had ever received.Among the more unusual were:

-- "My computer is telling me to press any key to continue. Where is the 'any' key?"

-- "Can you rearrange the keyboard alphabetically?"

-- "My daughter is locked in the bathroom, can you pick the lock?"

-- "Can you tell me the weather forecast for next year?"

-- "Can you install cable TV on my PC?"

Then there was the computer user who confused the CD-ROM drive with a drink holder and asked: "How do I get my computer's coffee-cup holder to come out again?"

Katherine Spencer Lee, executive director of Robert Half Technology, said such queries were a test of the skills of the help and technical support desks.

"These unusual requests highlight the need for technical support personnel to also demonstrate patience, empathy and a sense of humor," she said.

[ATRAIN]

I worked for MSN around 8 years ago and man I encountered some real stupid asses. I swear there should be a test given for some one to even buy a computer.

[Slomo]

:nerd
...Then there was the computer user who confused the CD-ROM drive with a drink holder and asked: "How do I get my computer's coffee-cup holder to come out again?"...

That one hapened to a friend of mine, he was working in the IT dept. of a large company and the secretary of the general manager called IT support to come and fix her "drink holder".

[I. Hustle]

Then there was the questioner who asked: "Where can I get software to track UFOs?"



That is a perfectly legitimate question

[Slomo]

That is a perfectly legitimate question

:lol agreed!

I didn't think that "Can you rearrange the keyboard alphabetically?" was that outrageous either.

[I. Hustle]

:lol agreed!

I didn't think that "Can you rearrange the keyboard alphabetically?" was that outrageous either.

Let's try it. fghl oz rgf'z vgka

[TwAnKiEs]

I have callers that will pronounce their routr, "rooter" , it always makes me laugh.

[baseline bum]

-- "My computer is telling me to press any key to continue. Where is the 'any' key?"


The caller was probably 12 and repeating that exact joke after seeing it on an episode of the Simpsons.



-- "Can you install cable TV on my PC?"


This one's not bad either. I've had a TV card in my computer for 6 years, so yes, I could install cable TV to my PC.

[mrsmaalox]

This one's not bad either. I've had a TV card in my computer for 6 years, so yes, I could install cable TV to my PC.

Yea my first thought was also "So what's wrong with that?"

[MagnusKrauss]

Being the resident young'un in my office, I tend to get swamped with help requests like these.

but, so far, I haven't received a request that silly.

[RandomGuy]

Then there was the questioner who asked: "Where can I get software to track UFOs?"

You may have heard about the distributed work that the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence (SETI) does.

The concept is that they have this massive radar telescope that sweeps the skies for signals from other civilizations. It looks at hundreds of thousands of frequencies for a whole night.

This results in a MASSIVE amount of data that must be analysed.

Up until a few years ago, they would simply buy time on a supercomputer, and let that chunk away.

THEN

Some genius figured out a way to break up that data into discrete chunks. Say one frequency at a time for 8 hours.

This lets anybody download a screen saver that is really an analysis program for SETI.

Anytime your computer is idle and the screensaver is running, the program analyses the small chunk of data. When it is finished, it automatically uploads the data and downloads a new chunk (or you can set this up to be done manually).

This has revolutionized the program and the amount of "spare" computing power goes up as personal computers get better, and more widespread.

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The guy who asked this question might have been looking for the software from the project that sweeps the skies looking for near large, near-earth asteroids that might collide with the earth. (think dinosaur extinction event)

This "asteroid hunting" software operates on a similar principle to SETI's.

[RandomGuy]

I used to work for a small computer company. One of the guys was fond of telling this story about a guy who was upset because his computer wouldn't fax something from his fax modem.

It turns out, after about 30 minutes of trouble shooting, that the guy was holding a piece of paper up to the computer monitor and thought that was how the "fax" worked.


Another story:

Some guy was calling in for something, and was told that he needed a screwdriver to adjust something on the case. He then asked "Can you fax me a screwdriver?"