Mono...

[DBryant88]

Do you love my signature. I made it just for you!!!:toast

[Mr.Bottomtooth]

This didn't warrant its own thread.

[Evan]

This didn't warrant its own thread.

Most threads don't.

[J.T.]

Marion Barber

Please start scoring touchdowns again, you are killing my fantasy teams.

[DBryant88]

dont blame me. Blame T.O. for whining and Jerry Jones for listening

[J.T.]

dont blame me. Blame T.O. for whining and Jerry Jones for listening

Well I think it's time you crashed a wide receivers meeting. Bust in that room double-fisting some glocks. It should go like this

Sherman: ...and if we need a key third down conversion or a big play this week, we'll run a play for Jason every time.

Witten: Sounds good to me.

Owens: Oh hell naw!

Sherman: Is there a problem, Terrell?

Witten: Jealousy, in my opinion.

Owens: Shut the fuck up, whitey. I'm gettin' sick of you and Tony hangin' out so much on and off the field. Hell if I hadn't seen those nude pics he took of Jessica I'd swear the two of yous were gay.

Witten: Man if you think the pics are outrageous, you should see the video.

Owens: Video? What video?

* MB24 kicks doors open. One door flies off the hinges and hits Patrick Crayton in the head, sending him flying out the window *

MB24: THE SUN BE SHININ' ON YO ASS NOW, DAWG!

Sherman: Can we help you with something, Marion?

MB24: Damn straight!

Sherman: Well, what is it?

MB24: It'd be nice if you homos could quit whining like a bunch of high school girls who were too fat to make the cheerleading squad for ONE GOD DAMN SECOND and let me do my mother fucking job!

Austin: That's something you should take up with Coach Garrett...

MB24: I don't remember asking you a god damned thing.

Sherman: Look, Marion. I just want you to know that how sorry we are that things got so fucked up with Coach Garrett and calling running plays... We asked him to call more passing plays with the best intentions...

*MB24 whips out a glock shoots Miles Austin between the eyes *

MB24: I'm sorry, did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that. Please, continue. You were saying something about "best intentions"? Oh, you were finished. Well then allow me to retort! What does Marion Barber look like?

Owens: Man, fuck this. I gotta go whine to the press about Jason getting more looks than me.

* TO exits *

Witten: I'm out too. Gotta hit up Cabo and Miami with #9 before the game...

MB24: Sit your white ass down.

* MB24 points glock at Witten, Witten sits *

Witten: What?

MB24: What ain't no country I ever heard of. They speak English in What?

Witten: What?

MB24: English, motherfucker! DO YOU SPEAK IT?

Witten: Yes!

MB24: Then you know what I'm saying?

Witten: Yes!

MB24: Describe what Marion Barber looks like!

Witten: What the f--

MB24: Say what again! SAY WHAT AGAIN! I dare you...I double dare you, motherfucker! Say what one more god damn time!

Witten: You...uh...he's b-black...

MB24: Go on.

Witten: He's got...dreds....

MB24: Does he look like a bitch?

Witten: What?

* MB24, double-fisting two glocks, shoots Witten in both of his shoulders *

MB24: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?

Witten: NO!

MB24: Then why you try to fuck him like a bitch?

Witten: I didn't!

MB24: Yes you did, yes you did. You tried to fuck him. And Marion Barber don't like to be fucked by anyone other than... Shit, Marion Barber is too busy doing the fucking to get fucked by anyone else.

Witten: Why do you keep speaking in third person?

MB24: It has something to do with this little passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers! And you will know my name is The Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!"

* MB24 unloads the remaining rounds in his glocks on the poor bastards remaining in the room. Seconds later, enters Adam "Pacman" Jones *

Pacman: (upon seeing the aftermath of the carnage) ... god damn it, I oversleep one fucking time and I miss out on all the fun?

* Pacman rampages down the hallways of the Cowboys training facility mowing down herds of helpless interns with a semi-automatic. Seconds later, enters Jessica Simpson *

Simpson: Uh...is this the quarterbacks meeting?

MB24: Um...yes...yes it is. But Tony has the day off. I'm filling in for him. Go ahead and take off all your clothes and get on all fours.... DAYUM! .... Yeah just like that. OK, let's start off with my favorite play. I like to call it "pounding it in". . . .

[JMarkJohns]

Do you love my signature. I made it just for you!!!:toast

Rejoicing in a player's injury is about as sissy and pathetic as fandom gets.

It's a bitch move.