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View Full Version : The Best Way to Smuggle a Missile into New York



Trainwreck2100
10-09-2008, 01:14 AM
Let everyone see it



What's the easiest way to get a 25-foot-long missile into Manhattan?

Apparently, the Queens Midtown Tunnel.

A Long Island man offered up that astonishing answer yesterday to an incredulous judge in Manhattan federal court.

Arye Sachs, 48, is being sued for trademark infringement by Pfizer Inc. for hauling the fake rocket emblazoned with the words "Viva Viagra" through Midtown last month.

"It's been in the back of my mind since you first came in: How do you get the missile on the trailer into Manhattan?" federal Judge William Pauley III asked.

Sachs, from West Babylon, said cops just laughed as he passed through the Queens Midtown Tunnel on his way into the city Sept. 8.

Sachs also claimed he drove his "missile" through the Lincoln Tunnel five times, and was only stopped twice.

"They checked license and registration, but not the missile," he said.

"You're telling me that when you drove up to the Lincoln Tunnel -" Pauley said.

"They saluted," said Sachs, who is representing himself in court.

To explain his actions, the Israeli-born aircraft collector and mobile-billboard entrepreneur told the judge that "you're dealing with a person with ADD." He also described himself as "a CRJ - a crazy redneck Jew."

"If it's legal and it's enjoyable, I want to do it," Sachs said. "Once in a while you want to have fun, and that's what it's all about: fun."

But Pfizer lawyer Paul Llewellyn said Sachs' gag was no laughing matter when he drove the missile past the company's Midtown headquarters and also out to the EXXXOTICA sex convention in New Jersey last month.

Llewellyn said Sachs' illegal use of the company's logo, down to the same color and font, could confuse customers into thinking it was a real ad for the "little blue pill."

Sachs countered that his actions wouldn't stop anyone from buying Viagra.

"I'm not only a defendant, I'm a customer. I know what I'm talking about," Sachs said.

Sources at MTA Bridges and Tunnels, which runs the Queens Midtown Tunnel, said no one recalled his incredible journey.

And a spokesman said: "If this vehicle did indeed cross through, it would most certainly have been noted and pulled over for a look."

A spokesman for the Port Authority, which runs the Lincoln Tunnel, said: "We will look into it."

http://www.nypost.com/seven/10082008/news/regionalnews/missile_blowers_132641.htm

Slydragon
10-09-2008, 01:52 AM
http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i196/Slydrag0n/gifs/military009.jpg

MrChug
10-09-2008, 10:20 AM
I thought it was up Paris Hilton's Va-gee...

Ed Helicopter Jones
10-09-2008, 11:13 AM
I found this article to be highly disturbing.







I was like, WTF, an EXXXOTICA sex convention in New Jersey and I didn't hear about it?!!




Damn. :pctoss

spurs_fan_in_exile
10-09-2008, 12:01 PM
http://www.newheadings.com/catalog/images/MTK.jpg
I smuggle something that size everyday in these.