Damn, I need some advice (serious)

[Aggie Hoopsfan]

So a buddy (okay, pretty much best friend) just called me this afternoon about halfway through the workday. He took the day off, said he had some personal shit to attend to. Anyway, calls me at work, which I thought was weird...

Turns out his wife of 2 years served him papers for a divorce this morning. They've been on the rocks for a while, but it was still a pretty huge blow for him. I met him up after work and he's a fucking wreck. Seriously, run over by a bus type wreck.

We went out and pounded a shitload of alcohol tonight, but how the hell do I deal with this? He's passed out on my couch right now (lives about half an hour away and was way too blitzed to go home), how the fuck do I deal with this tomorrow?

H&B ain't going to cut it...

[Trainwreck2100]

How long has his wife been cheating on him?

[Aggie Hoopsfan]

How long has his wife been cheating on him?

It really wasn't that. We both work at a company that is blowing up right now (it's been the U.S. up until about 3 months ago, now we're negotiating a couple of international deals).

Anyway, we're both in management positions dealing with our implementations, and we're on the road a lot. Last year I was on the road 181 days, and he had me beat by 24 days. Yeah, do the math. Him being on the road so much is really what put them on the rocks as she wanted to have a baby and start a family but he wasn't ready for that with being on the road so much.

She gave him an ultimatum about 2 months ago, but we just signed 3 more states to contracts with our company as well as one Caribbean country, and basically both of us are going to be on the road about 75% of 2009.

I know that wasn't all there was to what was going on, but that had a lot to do with it. She had even dragged me into it asking me to take on some of his work so he could spend more time at home (which sucked, as it was kind of a bitch move IMO to drag me into it for one thing, for another I was on the road the whole fucking year as well).

Anyway, situation sucks, he's passed out but destroyed, and I have to try and figure out how to help pick up the pieces this weekend.

[Vinnie_Johnson]

Does he have a place to stay? You might want to help him find a place or let him stay with you if he can.

[Aggie Hoopsfan]

Does he have a place to stay? You might want to help him find a place or let him stay with you if he can.

Yeah, he's pretty much crashing at my place indefinitely. She's already said he can have the house, which is weird, but she wants a clean break, so whatever.

[Vinnie_Johnson]

Yeah, he's pretty much crashing at my place indefinitely. She's already said he can have the house, which is weird, but she wants a clean break, so whatever.

This might take a few buddies but it's pretty cool.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081010/ap_on_fe_st/as_odd_cambodia_unique_divorce

[ALWAYS bet on BLACK]

Don't let him stay with you for an extended period of time! I had a friend who was going thru a divorce stay with me for a period of 6 weeks. He was down about the whole situation and became angry at women in general...so angry that he began experimenting with homosexuality and now he is a Bi-Sexual male....but leans mainly towards sex and relations with other men...there were a few times when he was living with me that he confessed of how he was becoming attracted to me in a sexual way and thats when I had to cut the friendship off for a little while and arrange different living situations..DONT DO IT...DONT LET HIM STAY WITH YOU!

[T Park]

Sorry to hear that Aggie and I feel his and your pain about being on the road. I'm on the road for about 240 days of the year and know whats it like.

I would just say, tell him in the morning your there for him, and whatever he needs to just ask. Just be a good friend and be there for him. Honestly, thats all you can do I think. Getting any deeper and I think it would be a mistake honestly.

[Jekka]

I've helped friends through a lot of break ups, and there's no getting around the mandatory grieving period. When a relationship this long and/or involved ends, prepare for the 7 stages of grief, because they are coming. Prepare for lots of moping, and I would suggest getting the name of a counselor or something for when you can't stand to hear any more re-hashing on the same stuff or if he stalls too long in one of the stages.

I'm sure your instincts will serve you well - be available for him, but not at the expense of your well-being or his progress in getting through it.

And staying with you won't turn him gay. I don't know what he's talking about in post #7 :wtf

[T Park]

I've helped friends through a lot of break ups, and there's no getting around the mandatory grieving period. When a relationship this long and/or involved ends, prepare for the 7 stages of grief, because they are coming. Prepare for lots of moping, and I would suggest getting the name of a counselor or something for when you can't stand to hear any more re-hashing on the same stuff or if he stalls too long in one of the stages.

I'm sure your instincts will serve you well - be available for him, but not at the expense of your well-being or his progress in getting through it.

And staying with you won't turn him gay. I don't know what he's talking about in post #7 :wtf

Spot on.

Agreed about the therapist as well, but I wouldn't just go and hire a guy talk about it with him first.

Which is what Jekka meant I'm sure. Sorry.

[ALWAYS bet on BLACK]

you have to draw the line somewhere. cant be roomies forever; right?
all i know is that my friend is now bisexual and a woman hater(for the most part). dont breast feed your friend(hypothetically speaking). make him stand on his own and he will have stronger legs.
write that down.

[baseline bum]

Tell him to quit being such a bitch and take his ass home. He chose his job over his wife, which is fine if his career is more important to him. I wouldn't marry a chick who'd be traveling 75% of the time, and she has an airtight reason to move on. Tell him to get a good lawyer so he doesn't get bent over the table by her in court.

[ALWAYS bet on BLACK]

Tell him to quit being such a bitch and take his ass home. He chose his job over his wife, which is fine if his career is more important to him. I wouldn't marry a chick who'd be traveling 75% of the time, and she has an airtight reason to move on. Tell him to get a good lawyer so he doesn't get bent over the table by her in court.
EXACTLY

$ over pussy.

never fails.

[Fat Bones]

Good thing they didn't make babies, cuz then he'd have her attached at his ankle from now on, so it's better now than later. She would find a different excuse even if he worked at home, so tell him not to fret.

Find a good attorney like BB said, and quickly.

That sucks, but think of all the money you both will be saving by sharing rent on an empty apartment.

[TDMVPDPOY]

want some advice? withdrawal all the money

drag this out the better, so payments dont become suspicious, deposit the money into various accounts - trustworthy families, if the dude has kids, trust fund assessable by him at any time or kid till adulthood. Book a fukn trip to las vegas, dont gamble, come back telling wife he loss everything on the tables and hoes....file for bankruptcy or someshit make up excuse credit crises, move too some third world country live like a king.

fuck alimony payments.

wife like DP? :D:D wat you waitin for

[MannyIsGod]

Tell him to quit being such a bitch and take his ass home. He chose his job over his wife, which is fine if his career is more important to him. I wouldn't marry a chick who'd be traveling 75% of the time, and she has an airtight reason to move on. Tell him to get a good lawyer so he doesn't get bent over the table by her in court.

Man, if she got married to him and he was already working at this job then she doesn't have a legit right, IMO. And in any event, ending a marriage becuase your husband is working to put food on the table is fucked up in my book to begin with. Those vows apparently mean shit.

And who the fuck would want to switch jobs in this climate? I know I wouldn't. That bitch either wasn't ready for marriage and is looking to get out or she's a bitch for ending it just because her husband's not a deadbeat. And don't even get me started on the bitch move she made asking AHF to pick up more work. I hope you answered her with a finger, AHF.

[Shelly]

Man, if she got married to him and he was already working at this job then she doesn't have a legit right, IMO. And in any event, ending a marriage becuase your husband is working to put food on the table is fucked up in my book to begin with. Those vows apparently mean shit.
.

:tu My dad was ALWAYS on the road when I was kid. You name the country, he's most likely been there. My mom was home alone most of the times with 3 kids. I'm sure she wasn't thrilled that he was gone all the time (we used to joke about his 'other' families all over the world), but she was never a needy type of person who had to have her man around all time.

They'll be celebrating their 49th wedding anniversary next month :)

And for us much as he was gone, we all have a close relationship with him.

[Shelly]

Oh, and AHF, I wouldn't let him become a permanent roommate. I understand he's your buddy and all, but this is between him and his wife. Don't get in the middle of it and don't get too involved because it's only gonna drag you down.

You can still be a good friend and let him vent, but that's pretty much all you should be doing, IMO.

[j-6]

Oh, and AHF, I wouldn't let him become a permanent roommate. I understand he's your buddy and all, but this is between him and his wife. Don't get in the middle of it and don't get too involved because it's only gonna drag you down.

You can still be a good friend and let him vent, but that's pretty much all you should be doing, IMO.

I disagree here. If both of you are going to be on the road 75% of the time next year, you can save some money by sharing a place. And regarding the wife, the papers are filed. It's over. If he's your best friend, he's going to lean on you anyway - whether he lives with you or not. Besides, it sounds like you both have high pressure jobs with the added bonus of lots of travel - perfect for someone going through a breakup. He can throw himself into his work and play the stranger in his off time globetrotting.

I bet he gets over this a lot faster than you expect.

[Shelly]

I disagree here. If both of you are going to be on the road 75% of the time next year, you can save some money by sharing a place. And regarding the wife, the papers are filed. It's over. If he's your best friend, he's going to lean on you anyway - whether he lives with you or not. Besides, it sounds like you both have high pressure jobs with the added bonus of lots of travel - perfect for someone going through a breakup. He can throw himself into his work and play the stranger in his off time globetrotting.

I bet he gets over this a lot faster than you expect.

She said he can have the house, so the roommate situation may not even be a factor.

I also don't think good friends should live together. I've seen plenty of friendships end because of this. YMMV

[ploto]

I am curious about the nature of the papers with which he was filed and why he is moving out of the house. If she told him that he can have the house and there was nothing that "forced" him to leave by the nature of the filing, then he needs to move back into his house ASAP and tell her to move out.

It also sounds to me from the little we know here that she was really all about having a baby. I have no idea how old they are or what her circumstance is, but if they were only married 2 years, then he is wise in saying they should wait a while to have a kid, if possible.

I would suggest that your support be in the nature of supporting him and encouraging him and not about bad mouthing her.

[baseline bum]

Man, if she got married to him and he was already working at this job then she doesn't have a legit right, IMO. And in any event, ending a marriage becuase your husband is working to put food on the table is fucked up in my book to begin with. Those vows apparently mean shit.

And who the fuck would want to switch jobs in this climate? I know I wouldn't. That bitch either wasn't ready for marriage and is looking to get out or she's a bitch for ending it just because her husband's not a deadbeat. And don't even get me started on the bitch move she made asking AHF to pick up more work. I hope you answered her with a finger, AHF.

Are you fucking kidding me? Leaving because your spouse is never home is one of the best reasons to end a marriage. She'd probably like to get fucked more than once a week and be able to go out and have a social life. Even if she knew the deal before the marriage, it doesn't make her any less of a person just because she found out she couldn't handle something she thought she was prepared for. You're basically saying she should say to hell with her happiness because she signed on the dotted line. Fuck you wifey, I make the money and I own you.

[ALWAYS bet on BLACK]

Are you fucking kidding me? Leaving because your spouse is never home is one of the best reasons to end a marriage. She'd probably like to get fucked more than once a week and be able to go out and have a social life. Even if she knew the deal before the marriage, it doesn't make her any less of a person just because she found out she couldn't handle something she thought she was prepared for. You're basically saying she should say to hell with her happiness because she signed on the dotted line. Fuck you wifey, I make the money and I own you.
are you blind? or just dumb?

how can you not see that the wife...the BITCH!, already was fucking someone else. she already stepped out on this marriage. shes just now taking steps to get it done legally. she has already had at least 1 affair...possibly more

[baseline bum]

are you blind? or just dumb?

how can you not see that the wife...the BITCH!, already was fucking someone else. she already stepped out on this marriage. shes just now taking steps to get it done legally. she has already had at least 1 affair...possibly more

Yeah, maybe so. She needs to get dick from somewhere. I wasn't going to make that assumption though, so blow me. You can't call her a shady bitch until you've got some proof.

[ALWAYS bet on BLACK]

Yeah, maybe so. She needs to get dick from somewhere. I wasn't going to make that assumption though, so blow me. You can't call her a shady bitch until you've got some proof.

:lmao
ALL WOMEN.


ALL WOMEN ARE SHADY AND WHEN THEY ARNT GETTING FUCKED PROPERLY REGULARLY, THEN THEY WILL TAKE THE FIRST CHANCE GIVEN TO GET DOUBLE TEAMED.

Real Talk.

[Clandestino]

just get drunk and let him tell the same stories over and over... after a while he find another chick and be cool.

[exstatic]

Manny, you can't make that assumption. NOWHERE did it say that she married him while he was already working there.

Regardless, she couldn't handle the separation. He actually made the choice to end it if she gave the ultimatum, and he ignored or didn't take it seriously.

[Shelly]

I guess some women can't handle their husband being gone all the time. My mother must've been in the minority.

While my husband doesn't travel, he goes into his office to catch up on things every Saturday. Doesn't bother me at all as I see the pile of charts he doesn't have time to catch up on during the week. I am pretty independent so I have no problem with it *shrugs*

[leemajors]

nothing beats bitches ain't shit on repeat in this situation, along with blunts and beer

[Aggie Hoopsfan]

I am curious about the nature of the papers with which he was filed and why he is moving out of the house. If she told him that he can have the house and there was nothing that "forced" him to leave by the nature of the filing, then he needs to move back into his house ASAP and tell her to move out.

It also sounds to me from the little we know here that she was really all about having a baby. I have no idea how old they are or what her circumstance is, but if they were only married 2 years, then he is wise in saying they should wait a while to have a kid, if possible.

I would suggest that your support be in the nature of supporting him and encouraging him and not about bad mouthing her.


He didn't move out. He crashed at my place last night because we went out and got smashed. It probably sounds a little weird to some of you but he's pretty destroyed and being in the house by himself right now is something he doesn't want to do.

He's actually only crashing here for the weekend, then going to spend some time at his brother's, who lives here in town as well.

A little more perspective...

She knew what she was getting into, they were dating since college, got engaged after he had been working at our company for two years and she knew what she was getting as far as him being on the road.

She was the proverbial nuclear housewife though, all she wanted to do was get married and make babies. There is some potential international deals for our company going down and both he and I are on the short list of people to go manage those deals should they go down.

Because of that (whoever gets those gigs is going to have to move to those locations), he wanted to hold off on having kids until the work deals were all sorted out.

That wasn't the only problem they had, but it was the biggest hangup by far. They are still both relatively young (25ish +/- a year for both of them), no kids, so at least they don't have that complication.

She's always been kinda fucked up in the head IMO, and when she asked me to take on some of his travel and work I just laughed in her face. We don't even work on the same software, but even if we did there's no way I would. I've got more than enough work as it is.

Just a shitty situation right now, his dad came into town as well so they're out just hanging out, probably getting tanked somewhere :lol

[ALWAYS bet on BLACK]

im telling you.
dont let him stay with you for multiple nights in a row.
im telling you.

[ploto]

all she wanted to do was get married and make babies. There is some potential international deals for our company going down and both he and I are on the short list of people to go manage those deals should they go down.

Because of that (whoever gets those gigs is going to have to move to those locations), he wanted to hold off on having kids until the work deals were all sorted out.
So I got that part right. It seems as if his reasons for wanting to wait a little while are valid so she may not be telling the truth.

[ploto]

He actually made the choice to end it if she gave the ultimatum, and he ignored or didn't take it seriously.

No, she made the choice to end it when she gave the ultimatum.

[MannyIsGod]

No, she made the choice to end it when she gave the ultimatum.

No fucking shit right? Since when is it ok to give ultimatums? Its my way or the highway? Yeah, thats what marriage is all about. Its impossible to know what went on between the 2 of them since we're not them, but ultimatums fucking suck and I disagree completely with Bum. The whole point is that marriage is a commitment which you shouldn't look back on in 2 years and say "I want a do over". Thats not what marriage is supposed to be or supposed to stand for. When you get married you say that.

If you can't handle that type of commitment then you shouldn't speak the vows.

[ALWAYS bet on BLACK]

bitches aint shit

[baseline bum]

People make mistakes. She should have been prepared for a husband who was going to be gone all the time, but she misjudged it and wasn't getting what she wanted out of the relationship, so she's right to bail. I don't get why there always has to be a bad guy in a divorce.

There's no compromise here, Manny. If the guy's job is to be on the road almost all the time and she wants him there a good chunk of the time, that's an irreconcilable difference. He's better off anyways not married to a baby-maker, and AHF, I hope your boy doesn't get fucked over on alimony. Did he make her sign a pre-nup?

[Jekka]

bitches aint shit

I don't know how long ago you got dumped, but I'm sure that the amount of time between then and now is not proportionate to how pathetic you are.

[SequSpur]

Wgaf, a woman just needs to do 3 things. Has nothing to do with work or travel...

Some of you read to many books and think to much.

[SequSpur]

Wgaf, a woman just needs to do 3 things. Has nothing to do with work or travel...

Some of you read to many books and think to much.

and on that note, if you disagree with this, you're full of shit and will be alone forever.

[CosmicCowboy]

Don't let him stay with you for an extended period of time! I had a friend who was going thru a divorce stay with me for a period of 6 weeks. He was down about the whole situation and became angry at women in general...so angry that he began experimenting with homosexuality and now he is a Bi-Sexual male....but leans mainly towards sex and relations with other men...there were a few times when he was living with me that he confessed of how he was becoming attracted to me in a sexual way and thats when I had to cut the friendship off for a little while and arrange different living situations..DONT DO IT...DONT LET HIM STAY WITH YOU!


Sorry to hear that Aggie and I feel his and your pain about being on the road. I'm on the road for about 240 days of the year and know whats it like.

I would just say, tell him in the morning your there for him, and whatever he needs to just ask. Just be a good friend and be there for him. Honestly, thats all you can do I think. Getting any deeper and I think it would be a mistake honestly.

:lmao

sorry. Those two posts in a row just hit me funny.

[MannyIsGod]

People make mistakes. She should have been prepared for a husband who was going to be gone all the time, but she misjudged it and wasn't getting what she wanted out of the relationship, so she's right to bail. I don't get why there always has to be a bad guy in a divorce.

There's no compromise here, Manny. If the guy's job is to be on the road almost all the time and she wants him there a good chunk of the time, that's an irreconcilable difference. He's better off anyways not married to a baby-maker, and AHF, I hope your boy doesn't get fucked over on alimony. Did he make her sign a pre-nup?

God damn isn't that the truth.

[ShoogarBear]

http://www.madisonavenuejournal.com/images/felix-091907.png

[ShoogarBear]

Seriously, I don't know that you necessarily need to do anything except be a friend. He's not planning to move in with you, and sounds liek he's got lots of other support in town, too.

[Shelly]

Wgaf, a woman just needs to do 3 things.

Bake an apple pie
Bake a blueberry pie
Bake a cherry pie

???

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

Something I don't understand here - if he has to move to another town for 9 months to work, and she doesn't want to leave him, why doesn't she just go with him?

There's much more to this than we know.

[Twisted_Dawg]

That poor guy is in for some torturous times if he is on the road that much staying in those lonely hotel rooms going through a divorce. Apparently they have no kids so that will make it easier. He just needs to find a temporary girlfriend now to play with and to help moderate the pain. Much like a junkie uses methodone to kick heroin.

[Trainwreck2100]

Bake an apple pie
Bake a blueberry pie
Bake a cherry pie

???

work cook and put out

[Aggie Hoopsfan]

Something I don't understand here - if he has to move to another town for 9 months to work, and she doesn't want to leave him, why doesn't she just go with him?

There's much more to this than we know.

She has a job as well. Basically, she wanted to work hard, save up some cash while he was doing the same, then have a baby. The international stuff just started developing in the last 4 months, reading between the lines that was the final blow for the relationship.

She's very religious and proper and like I said her focus was all on family. All of her family lives in and around Dallas as well.

[exstatic]

No fucking shit right? Since when is it ok to give ultimatums? Its my way or the highway? Yeah, thats what marriage is all about.
I'm not saying it's OK to drop one or two a week, but if you reach the point of no compromise like they appear to have, then the cards need to be laid on the table. She did that. He didn't respond in a way that would keep their marriage a going concern. Not really anyone's fault. Not sure why you're playing the "blame the bitch" card.

[Aggie Hoopsfan]

I'm not saying it's OK to drop one or two a week, but if you reach the point of no compromise like they appear to have, then the cards need to be laid on the table. She did that. He didn't respond in a way that would keep their marriage a going concern. Not really anyone's fault. Not sure why you're playing the "blame the bitch" card.

Well, to side with Manny (it's my view as well), she knew what she was getting into with this. Before they got married they talked about his work and the amount of travel that he was doing.

Our company is booming right now, it was known that we would be on the road pretty extensively for the foreseeable future (like through 2014 or so), so to me it's disappointing now she was in the here and now she couldn't take it.

[Sapphire]

She's very religious and proper and like I said her focus was all on family. All of her family lives in and around Dallas as well.


What religion is she where divorcing your husband is acceptable, provided there is no abuse, addiction, or adultery? I think she's cheating on him.

[exstatic]

Well, to side with Manny (it's my view as well), she knew what she was getting into with this. Before they got married they talked about his work and the amount of travel that he was doing.

Our company is booming right now, it was known that we would be on the road pretty extensively for the foreseeable future (like through 2014 or so), so to me it's disappointing now she was in the here and now she couldn't take it.

Sometimes the concept and the reality are very different. She may have thought she knew, but it didn't play out like her concept of what it would be.

It also sounds like there's more than just travel here, like the whole "want kids" thing. If they talked it over and agreed to have some relatively soon, and he's now demurring (until 2014?) for work purposes, that can be a deal breaker as well.

Sometimes, the shit just doesn't work out. It doesn't have to be anyone's fault. People just go in different directions.

[tlongII]

Is your friend's wife hot?

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

She has a job as well. Basically, she wanted to work hard, save up some cash while he was doing the same, then have a baby. The international stuff just started developing in the last 4 months, reading between the lines that was the final blow for the relationship.

She's very religious and proper and like I said her focus was all on family. All of her family lives in and around Dallas as well.

Ah, thanks. I was assuming she was a housewife given that she was wanting a baby and all. My bad.

She could still move with him though - I mean, if i loved someone that's what I'd do.

Good luck to your friend, tough times ahead. However, if he gets to go OS for work there will be all kinds of females popping into his life. Where is the work?

[SAGambler]

Man, if she got married to him and he was already working at this job then she doesn't have a legit right, IMO. And in any event, ending a marriage becuase your husband is working to put food on the table is fucked up in my book to begin with. Those vows apparently mean shit.

And who the fuck would want to switch jobs in this climate? I know I wouldn't. That bitch either wasn't ready for marriage and is looking to get out or she's a bitch for ending it just because her husband's not a deadbeat. And don't even get me started on the bitch move she made asking AHF to pick up more work. I hope you answered her with a finger, AHF.

Before the marriage, things may seem rosy. Maybe she thought she would get to travel with him.

But face it...Some women can live with that type of marriage, and some just flat out aren't cut out for it. Especially in a "young" marriage of only a couple of years. She probably figures he is "getting some" all over the country. Not really unusual in that type of situation.

Better to find out now than 5 or 6 years and a couple of rug rats down the road. Tell him he needs to count his blessings so to speak, that it came out early on.

Then send him to a counselor to help him get his head together and go on with his life.

[jack sommerset]

Don't let him stay with you for an extended period of time! I had a friend who was going thru a divorce stay with me for a period of 6 weeks. He was down about the whole situation and became angry at women in general...so angry that he began experimenting with homosexuality and now he is a Bi-Sexual male....but leans mainly towards sex and relations with other men...there were a few times when he was living with me that he confessed of how he was becoming attracted to me in a sexual way and thats when I had to cut the friendship off for a little while and arrange different living situations..DONT DO IT...DONT LET HIM STAY WITH YOU!

That above is GREATNESS.

[The Franchise]

He didn't move out. He crashed at my place last night because we went out and got smashed. It probably sounds a little weird to some of you but he's pretty destroyed and being in the house by himself right now is something he doesn't want to do.

He's actually only crashing here for the weekend, then going to spend some time at his brother's, who lives here in town as well.

A little more perspective...

She knew what she was getting into, they were dating since college, got engaged after he had been working at our company for two years and she knew what she was getting as far as him being on the road.

She was the proverbial nuclear housewife though, all she wanted to do was get married and make babies. There is some potential international deals for our company going down and both he and I are on the short list of people to go manage those deals should they go down.

Because of that (whoever gets those gigs is going to have to move to those locations), he wanted to hold off on having kids until the work deals were all sorted out.

That wasn't the only problem they had, but it was the biggest hangup by far. They are still both relatively young (25ish +/- a year for both of them), no kids, so at least they don't have that complication.

She's always been kinda fucked up in the head IMO, and when she asked me to take on some of his travel and work I just laughed in her face. We don't even work on the same software, but even if we did there's no way I would. I've got more than enough work as it is.

Just a shitty situation right now, his dad came into town as well so they're out just hanging out, probably getting tanked somewhere :lol

If your description of her is true then she has already started seeing someone else and moved on. Women rarely leave without a backup plan, especially lazy women. Just keep being a good friend to him. If you know any sluts that can help him to ease the pain then by all means introduce him. Nothing takes your mind of pain better than some new territory. Time heals all wounds. After about six months she will just be another bitch in the bingo book.

[TDMVPDPOY]

i say you go over there and DP his wife nao, put her back in her seat

[CosmicCowboy]

If your description of her is true then she has already started seeing someone else and moved on. Women rarely leave without a backup plan, especially lazy women. Just keep being a good friend to him. If you know any sluts that can help him to ease the pain then by all means introduce him. Nothing takes your mind of pain better than some new territory. Time heals all wounds. After about six months she will just be another bitch in the bingo book.

I'm not sure I agree with this. I think guys are a lot more likely to get bored/unhappy and start looking for greener backup relationship grass than most women. I have had many friends over the years divorce and in virtually 100% of the cases the woman did not have a backup relationship waiting in the wings. It's much more fun for them to wring every last bloody drop of relationship angst out of the existing marriage...as one of my friends wives told me, "When I'm finally ready I can get laid in any bar I want any day of the week."

[Man of Steel]

A few things that I would suggest:

1. He definitely needs to see a therapist. Most people going through a divorce can benefit from therapy.

2. He needs a lawyer to file an answer, counter-petition for divorce and request for temporary orders to keep status quo until a final divorce.

He would ask to be awarded the house during the pendency of the divorce, establish which party pays which bills, and other issues which are important while the divorce is pending.

If she is agreeable to him having the house, he should have no problem getting agreed orders. But he needs a divorce lawyer to preserve his rights.

Feel free to pm me for more details.

Plus--he is very lucky to have a friend like you.

[MannyIsGod]

Sometimes the concept and the reality are very different. She may have thought she knew, but it didn't play out like her concept of what it would be.

It also sounds like there's more than just travel here, like the whole "want kids" thing. If they talked it over and agreed to have some relatively soon, and he's now demurring (until 2014?) for work purposes, that can be a deal breaker as well.

Sometimes, the shit just doesn't work out. It doesn't have to be anyone's fault. People just go in different directions.

Well, if you get into something and then change your mind that you don't like it chances are its YOUR fault the marriage is ending. This its no one's fault shit is BS, IMO. You better know damn well what you're getting into in regards with marriage and having to move or deal with a TEMPORARY situation is a really shitty ground on which to end what is supposed to be FOREVER.

Ah fuck, I know I said I'd stick around when the shit got tough but its not really my fault I'm not going to do that?

No, fuck that.