Is this selfish?

[stretch]

Basically, my girl has had battles with cancer during her childhood. She had to have chemo twice, and it is currently in remission. Her family has a history of cancer problems, and she has had quite a few members die from it.

Is it selfish for me to consider this factor when deciding if this is someone whom I wish to marry? I mean I'm not like really seriously thinking about it, but every now and then it does pop in my mind, and I do fear the thought of potentially losing her at a rather young age. I don't think it would really affect my desicions though. But still... its sort of a scary thought.

[I Love Me Some Me]

When choosing who to spend the rest of your life with, you should be more selfish than any other time in your life.

[BacktoBasics]

You get one shot at life. Live it how you feel fit. I see nothing wrong with your thought process.

[tonylongoriafan]

live your life

[ORION]

stop picking up chicks at out patient clinics

[desflood]

If you plan on having kids someday, it would definitely be something to take into consideration.

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

Even if you didn't plan on having kids, then it would definitely be something to take into consideration.

[Soul_Patch]

http://www.2insure4less.com/info/images/life_insurance_quotes.jpg


might be a good investment....



































Im kidding obviously.....thats too mean for even me...

[dirk4mvp]

depends on if she gives good.....advice

[MoSpur]

Talk to her about it. Tell her how you really feel. Be honest with her.

[Dr. Gonzo]

By definition, it is selfish. But there is nothing wrong with being selfish every once and a while.

[TDMVPDPOY]

life insurance, you know you want it

[CubanMustGo]

A lot of really cold responses in here.

If you truly love the woman, and she truly loves you, then the potential for cancer should be a very small factor (if a factor at all).

Taking your point to extremes, should she be doomed to a single life because she might have cancer some day? Hate to tell you this, but the big C can strike anyone at any time. So can heart attacks. Strokes. Automobile accidents. Mavericks fans jumping out of buildings, you name it. You are forewarned that she has a family history, so you can take preventative measures to help minimize future risk. It may not be enough, but if the two of you are truly in love then you will take joy in whatever time you have together.

That's not easy, but marriage isn't easy. If the cancer is a big concern, then perhaps you're not in love as much as you need to be to marry her.

[stretch]

Taking your point to extremes, should she be doomed to a single life because she might have cancer some day? Hate to tell you this, but the big C can strike anyone at any time. So can heart attacks. Strokes. Automobile accidents. Mavericks fans jumping out of buildings, you name it.

Thats exactly how I was reasoning with myself too. Anything can happen at anytime. I don't think its really much of a concern, but just the fact that it has popped in my head, made me wonder if that is a selfish way to think.

[balli]

Would you be comfortable making like McCain and ditching her when she's on her death bed, or if you do indeed marry her to you plan to honor "in sickness and in health"?

[jack sommerset]

I smell GOLD. Get a huge ass insurance policy and marry her. Convince her to not go to doctors anymore. Take her to a faith healer. Tell her Faith healers can summon supernatural intervention on behalf of the ill and cure her of all diseases. I will pray for you.

[T Park]

It's selfish, but, its an understandable selfish that I don't think anyone should fault you for.

Its a big step getting married and I don't fault you one bit for wanting to take pause and give it thought.

[Bigzax]

hey Godbless your chic man, but just fyi, young widowers get bookoo ass...:tu

[InRareForm]

You can never trust internet advice, 80% of the cold hearted responses in here wouldn't tell you the same advice if they were you telling you this in person.

[Bigzax]

i would, it's called a joke. and i joke with my friends all the time...

you want serious advice?

don't let a woman that loves your ass get away...they are hard to find.

[Jekka]

A lot of really cold responses in here.

If you truly love the woman, and she truly loves you, then the potential for cancer should be a very small factor (if a factor at all).

Taking your point to extremes, should she be doomed to a single life because she might have cancer some day? Hate to tell you this, but the big C can strike anyone at any time. So can heart attacks. Strokes. Automobile accidents. Mavericks fans jumping out of buildings, you name it. You are forewarned that she has a family history, so you can take preventative measures to help minimize future risk. It may not be enough, but if the two of you are truly in love then you will take joy in whatever time you have together.

That's not easy, but marriage isn't easy. If the cancer is a big concern, then perhaps you're not in love as much as you need to be to marry her.

+1

[InRareForm]

i would.

congrats, you are part of the 20%

[Bigzax]

fuk yah!

[tlongII]

Is she hot?

[spurspf]

It should be a concern. Do you want kids? I have a cousin who had cancer and she got chemotherapy. She is in remission and fine but her kid was born with birth defects.

[1Parker1]

When choosing who to spend the rest of your life with, you should be more selfish than any other time in your life.

That's actually really wise advice.

[baseline bum]

Nothing wrong with being selfish sometimes.

[Heath Ledger]

He won't be able to get a huge ass policy on her, she has an MRB file detailing her cancer and treament, there are some smaller guaranteed issued poicies he can get for her though probalby not more than 5 to 10k.

[MaryAnnKilledGinger]

It's not selfish - it's practical. It would be selfish to ignore the real implications in the name of political correctness, only to later find out you can't be what either of the other really wants and needs. Falling in love is easy - living in love is another challenge entirely with enough stress all its own. This will only be complicated by things like added medical expenses, the fact that you may find yourself having to personally care for elements of her physical treatment, the limitations of what you can do together, etc.

Too often we hold ourselves to some ridiculous standard. It is one thing to stand beside a person you've built a life with and support them through illness and difficulty. But weighing the consequences of such when developing a relationship doesn't make you selfish - it makes you responsible and practical.

[dirk4mvp]

It's not selfish - it's practical. It would be selfish to ignore the real implications in the name of political correctness, only to later find out you can't be what either of the other really wants and needs. Falling in love is easy - living in love is another challenge entirely with enough stress all its own. This will only be complicated by things like added medical expenses, the fact that you may find yourself having to personally care for elements of her physical treatment, the limitations of what you can do together, etc.

Too often we hold ourselves to some ridiculous standard. It is one thing to stand beside a person you've built a life with and support them through illness and difficulty. But weighing the consequences of such when developing a relationship doesn't make you selfish - it makes you responsible and practical.

:tu

With posts like these, in no time you'll be the censored version of Backtobasics

[Vinnie_Johnson]

If you plan on having kids someday, it would definitely be something to take into consideration.

Plus 1 :toast