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Galileo
11-04-2008, 05:14 PM
Tim Duncan writes-in Ron Paul

SAN ANTONIO, TX–All across the country today, millions of Americans will be exercising their right to elect their next president, a tradition carried on unbroken every four years since 1789. In the lead-up to Election Day, many celebrities and other public figures have been busy endorsing their candidate of choice, and urging people across the country to get out and vote. One of these celebrities was San Antonio Spurs power forward/center Tim Duncan, who had been very active in registering San Antonio residents to vote for their next commander-in-chief, as well as taking time to give stump speeches on the state of the country. Duncan had declined to specify who he was endorsing for the Top Job, saying that he didn’t want to appear partisan and greedy.

Unsurprisingly, when Duncan reported his local polling station early Tuesday morning, a cache of reporters followed in tow. The media asked Duncan who exactly he was casting his ballot for, and much to their surprise, Duncan pulled back the curtain on his political views.

”I proudly wrote-in Congressman Ron Paul, the man I believe is the last, best hope of the Republic,” said a stoic Duncan. ”Ron Paul is the only choice of liberty-loving Americans.”

Despite low polling numbers and immediate dismissal by the mainstream media, Congressman Paul (R-TX) was able to build up a rabid internet fan base and large donation numbers during his campaign, in which he stressed a significantly reduced government and a non-interventionist foreign policy, among other radical reforms to government.

”The Revolution is growing,” announced Duncan to the assembled reporters. ”Americans have been too long abused by the military-industrial complex and are starting to fight back.”

Naturally, the media was rather curious as to why Duncan had chosen Paul, a candidate who had never had a viable shot at winning.

‘’Ron Paul stands for integrity, financial responsibility, domestic tranquillity and adherence to the Constitution,’’ recited the four-time NBA champion. ‘’He will put America back on the gold standard, restoring value to our now worthless currency and will keep the government out of our lives by abolishing the IRS and the Patriot Act, among many other things.’’

When reporters began to mock the all-star’s decision, pointing out that Paul had dropped out of the race long ago and Duncan was essentially throwing away his vote, the two-time MVP became rather agitated, saying:

‘’You think this is a joke? You fools have been blindsided by the corporate-controlled media into thinking that we only have two choices for president—two men running from the same party, the Corporate Party! I’m not throwing away my vote, I’m taking a stand for liberty! You’re all pawns, all of you!’’

When no one in the stunned media corps was able to muster an adequate response Duncan continued has ravings:

‘’It’s time for the American people to take off the blinders and realized that the Illuminati and the NWO are going to end American sovereignty! America is a socialist nation on the verge of bankruptcy! You will wake up tomorrow and everything you hold dear will be gone! It’s not too late! Elect Ron Paul!’’

The reporters were now completely disarmed by Duncan’s passionate defense of Ron Paul and no one made any attempt to deter Duncan.

‘’RON PAUL REVOLUTION! GIVE US BACK OUR CONSTITUTION!’’ Roared Duncan as he grabbed a nearby flag and began waving it furiously. ‘’REVERSE AMERICA’S FALL—VOTE RON PAUL!!’’ Duncan continued to recite dozens of political catchphrases for the better part of two hours before leaving and taking his march to the streets, where it has slowly gained momentum over the course of the day, mostly from people in Spurs regalia, apparently eager to be close to Tim Duncan, and, of course, to love liberty.

http://www.serioussportsnewsnetwork.com/2008/11/tim-duncan-writes-in-ron-paul.html

Xylus
11-04-2008, 05:15 PM
If only...

benefactor
11-04-2008, 05:17 PM
Ha ha...go Timmy! I wouldn't vote for Ron but I agree with a lot of what he is saying.

Manufan909
11-04-2008, 05:18 PM
WTF!?! That was hilarious. It needed a video game or dungeons and dragons reference to convince me.

Manufan909
11-04-2008, 05:19 PM
Ha ha...go Timmy! I wouldn't vote for Ron but I agree with a lot of what he is saying.

:toast

Exactly what I was thinking. The end kind of got me off track.

xtremesteven33
11-04-2008, 05:23 PM
ARRRRRR!!!!


i though this was legit for a while. GO RON PAUL!!! :tu

jack sommerset
11-04-2008, 05:23 PM
It would be nice if this was true. Duncan great basketball player,no personality.

Fermixalot
11-04-2008, 05:29 PM
About halfway through I thought it was an actual story...

Funny though. Obama 08:toast

and :flag:

LavaLamp
11-04-2008, 05:30 PM
I know Timmy is a thinking man's player and also honorable, so his being a Libertarian is not implausible. However, the reported ranting and raving, as well as excessive wordiness is so unlike Mr. Tim Duncan. This article is probably a hoax.

benefactor
11-04-2008, 05:31 PM
Man...being at work for 11hrs will sure make you miss things....like...say...obvious satire?
:lol

Spurminator
11-04-2008, 05:33 PM
One does wonder if Galileo is aware that this is a joke.

tonylongoriafan
11-04-2008, 05:34 PM
i knew this fool was crazy...but at least he's republican

tonylongoriafan
11-04-2008, 05:35 PM
Man...being at work for 11hrs will sure make you miss things....like...say...obvious satire?
:lol

work? :lmao

MaNuMaNiAc
11-04-2008, 05:36 PM
One does wonder if Galileo is aware that this is a joke.

I'm pretty sure he hasn't got a clue. :lol

By the way, anybody that knows how Tim talks realized this was a joke about two lines into the article. It doesn't sound like Tim in any way.

benefactor
11-04-2008, 05:39 PM
work? :lmao
Yeah...my lunch break and the last hour or so of my day is usually spent here. I sometimes come on for a few minutes when I first arrive too. I have had the hell worked our of me today TBQH with you though....

Galileo
11-04-2008, 06:46 PM
I'm pretty sure he hasn't got a clue. :lol

By the way, anybody that knows how Tim talks realized this was a joke about two lines into the article. It doesn't sound like Tim in any way.

YOU MEAN THIS ISN'T FOR REAL?

ChumpDumper
11-04-2008, 06:48 PM
YOU MEAN THIS ISN'T FOR REAL?:rollin

Galileo
11-04-2008, 07:00 PM
MORE SPURS NEWS:

‘Big Shot Bob’ still hitting game-winners in practice
http://www.serioussportsnewsnetwork.com/2008/03/big-shot-bob-still-hitting-game-winners-in-practice.html

Stern to Spurs: no conspiracy, just evened numbered year
http://www.serioussportsnewsnetwork.com/2008/06/stern-to-spurs-no-conspiracy-just-evened-numbered-year.html

Popovich cancels Spurs practice
http://www.serioussportsnewsnetwork.com/2008/05/popovich-cancels-spurs-practice.html

Spurs forced to destroy Bonner after ankle injury
http://www.serioussportsnewsnetwork.com/2008/05/spurs-forced-to-destroy-bonner-after-ankle-injury.html

carina_gino20
11-04-2008, 07:48 PM
:lol Reading the headline, I thought it was true. But then I read the article and realized that Timmy was talking too much to be really Timmy.

duncan228
11-04-2008, 07:55 PM
He offered to drive too. :lol

Tim Duncan Offers To Drive NBA Players To Polling Place On Election Day (http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/tim_duncan_offers_to_drive)

SAN ANTONIO—Spurs center Tim Duncan sent an e-mail message to his fellow NBA players Tuesday volunteering to use his 1992 Buick LeSabre to chauffeur anyone "who needs a ride" to his assigned polling place to vote in the 2008 presidential election. "It's our responsibility to cast that ballot so that our democracy may continue working properly," wrote Duncan, adding that he was confident that every eligible member of the NBA was registered to vote and had been closely following all the 2008 races for months. "There's no need to feel pressure to tell me who you're voting for—that information is between you and the voting machine. All I ask is that you please be at the curb on time, buckle up, and treat my car with respect." According to Duncan, the "huge response" has forced him to schedule two separate trips, which he has detailed in a Google calendar and shared with all participants.

Galileo
11-04-2008, 08:07 PM
He offered to drive too. :lol

Tim Duncan Offers To Drive NBA Players To Polling Place On Election Day (http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/tim_duncan_offers_to_drive)

SAN ANTONIO—Spurs center Tim Duncan sent an e-mail message to his fellow NBA players Tuesday volunteering to use his 1992 Buick LeSabre to chauffeur anyone "who needs a ride" to his assigned polling place to vote in the 2008 presidential election. "It's our responsibility to cast that ballot so that our democracy may continue working properly," wrote Duncan, adding that he was confident that every eligible member of the NBA was registered to vote and had been closely following all the 2008 races for months. "There's no need to feel pressure to tell me who you're voting for—that information is between you and the voting machine. All I ask is that you please be at the curb on time, buckle up, and treat my car with respect." According to Duncan, the "huge response" has forced him to schedule two separate trips, which he has detailed in a Google calendar and shared with all participants.

Great find, duncan228!

Check this out:

Tim Duncan writes-in Ron Paul
http://www.dailypaul.com/node/71705#comment-761265

:-)

Galileo
06-17-2014, 09:12 PM
bump!

elege
06-17-2014, 10:02 PM
Libertarians, who want to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, forget that those same bootstraps were purchased by their parents and made in China.