Slomo
02-22-2005, 12:54 PM
Now that the effects of the jet lag have somewhat subsided I've decided to write a short recap of what happens if a modest country boy, like myself, gets the opportunity to hobnob with the crčme de la crčme also known as the Spurstalk.com posters and mods.
Upon my arrival to the SAT airport I went up to pick up the car I had reserved through the internet. The online system was stating that I would be issued a Ford Taurus or similar car for the daily 30$ rent. But when the rent a car employee saw my Slovenian driver’s license he insisted to give me a totally different car! Sure it was a brand new Pontiac Magnum with only 30 miles on the counter, it had leather seats, CD player… But it also had such narrow windows it made it look like a tank, I wondered if it was a not-so-subtle allusion to me coming from behind the iron curtain….
The drive to Kori’s and LJ’s house was easy enough and if there was a surprise it would have been that they are even nicer in person than they are on this board. LJ knows everything about the NBA and Kori has tons of insider stories about the Spurs – Can you imagine an information starved fan like me listening to those two? What also impressed me was the TV - OK a 67 inch high def screen is impressive enough but the little Direct TV box on top of the TV actually shows 95% of all the NBA games live!!! I had to be very careful not to stand there hypnotized and drool in the middle of their living room.
The next day I was looking forward to the GTG and sure enough people started arriving around 11 o’clock. That is when I started noticing some strange things…
Shelly was among the first to arrive and looked much younger than I remembered from her larger pictures. Even Mouse said upon meeting her “you do not look anything like your screen name!”. I caught myself wondering if it was indeed the real Shelly I was meeting. And if it wasn’t, what was the reason behind this subterfuge? She brought this excellent home made salsa, which I actually managed to smuggle a small sample back to Europe – we’ll have that stuff mass produced in Ukraine in no time!
After that things got weirder. Sequ was actually nice to me! He looked like a nice person and actually seemed to enjoy eating Mozart’s balls. I had brought a bag full of them as a replacement for Rasho’s. But where was Pseudofan? She had been my only ally in my disputes with Sequ on the forum – something was not right.
Soon after, I finally met the femme fatale of SpursTalk.com: SpursWoman. She walked in the room full of confidence, her boy toy’s short leash firmly in hand. User666 was very polite and did not seem to mind too much about the leash (but then again who would?). The stuffed Jalapenos she made were almost as hot as her!
The game started, and I was given a beer, politely tasting it and expecting the foul taste that I came to expect from Budweiser Lite, I could not believe how good it was! The Texans obviously know a thing or two about beer, unfortunately they are not sharing that knowledge with the rest of the US. Seriously if you’re ever in Texas just ask for a Shiner Bock (Note for Slovenian readers: it tastes very much like Union Pivo)!
Rasho was doing a good job defensively against Shaq, but his shooting was just horrible. Things were not looking too bad at half time, when a man in a black suit jumped into the room! You guessed it Mouse made his entrance, followed by Mr. & Mrs. CrazyOne – who looked perfectly sane to me, but what do I know…
Now Mouse immediately started to talk smack to everybody, and he was very good at it! I was laughing and enjoying myself until I realized that Mouse was ever so subtly questioning me about the secrets of the Soviet Union – this guy is good!
Thank god I got a reprieve from the questioning when Kori called us to start eating all the fantastic food that had accumulated on the table since the beginning of the game. Now I can not tell you what we ate – despite my many questions people were very secretive about the food – but it was delicious! I just hope I’ll be able to pass the mandatory drug test upon returning to my country….
Unfortunately the Spurs lost the game and it did make things a little awkward for me since I was blamed for it – my presence in the USA obviously not bringing any luck to the Spurs.
After the game, Mouse lured me outside to the patio where the questioning continued. BigZak was there and was trying to get my attention, I couldn’t help but think that he was trying to tell me something, but under the ever so vigilant eye of JoeChalupa he did not dare say anything. I somehow got through the 3rd degree and returned inside, people were already leaving. I found BigZak in the living room sweating through every pore and obviously terrified by something or someone. At a certain point he started mumbling and I was sure I would finally find out about what was going on, but at that moment Mouse offered me another beer and as I turned back to BigZak he was no longer there. Despite looking everywhere BigZak had disappeared! Everybody acting like nothing was wrong just confirmed my suspicions. He was obviously trying to warn me about something but they got to him before me!
The rest of the evening is somewhat of a blur, I wonder if they slipped something in my beer or was it just the somewhat excessive number of Shiner Bock I drank that day? Anyway I blame them!
The next day I decided to explore San Antonio, maybe find out what BigZak was trying to warn me about. I was about to go when MannyIsGod called and insisted he would accompany me and “show me the sites” – keeping an eye on me was more what he wanted to do.
First we drove to the Alamo, visited the River Walk and walked by the new Library I was enjoying an unusually warm day for the season and listening to some interesting facts from Manny. That was a mistake, probably sensing my guard was down he suggested we have chicken fried steak for lunch. He further explained that is was a culinary specialty from Texas and that it was basically a fried steak with some gravy and mash potatoes. I agreed and we went to a diner that was advertising the Texan dish in its window. When we received our food I knew I was in trouble. The chicken fried steak was made of beef, and the steak was covered with a creamy white substance! Gravy my ass! I tried to avoid eating it but Manny was already eating insisting that it was really good. I thought that if I ate it really fast it would buy me some time before I get the full effect of whatever that stuff was.
Well it did not work. The rest of the day is a blur. I vaguely remember some dried out ponds in some weird gardens, a church surrounded by prison cells, and me carrying a big plastic bag full of Spurs gear. Thank God I took pictures so I’ll try to analyze them later.
I couldn’t think straight until the next day. While our flight was following the Mississippi river on its way to Europe I was trying to make sense of what had happened to me the past three days. As you can see the reality of these GTG is much different than the idyllic tales that have been published previously. I now know that there is more going on than we are made to believe and I for one will not rest until I get to the bottom of it!
I have decided to sacrifice myself and to grab the first opportunity that will present itself to return to San Antonio. Maybe next time I will get the opportunity to investigate the HQ of this shady organization, more commonly known as the SBC centre.
On a more serious note:
Thanks to everybody I got to meet for a lovely time and specially to Kori, LJ, Jekka, MannyIsGod and Gregg for taking such good care of me.
Slomo
Upon my arrival to the SAT airport I went up to pick up the car I had reserved through the internet. The online system was stating that I would be issued a Ford Taurus or similar car for the daily 30$ rent. But when the rent a car employee saw my Slovenian driver’s license he insisted to give me a totally different car! Sure it was a brand new Pontiac Magnum with only 30 miles on the counter, it had leather seats, CD player… But it also had such narrow windows it made it look like a tank, I wondered if it was a not-so-subtle allusion to me coming from behind the iron curtain….
The drive to Kori’s and LJ’s house was easy enough and if there was a surprise it would have been that they are even nicer in person than they are on this board. LJ knows everything about the NBA and Kori has tons of insider stories about the Spurs – Can you imagine an information starved fan like me listening to those two? What also impressed me was the TV - OK a 67 inch high def screen is impressive enough but the little Direct TV box on top of the TV actually shows 95% of all the NBA games live!!! I had to be very careful not to stand there hypnotized and drool in the middle of their living room.
The next day I was looking forward to the GTG and sure enough people started arriving around 11 o’clock. That is when I started noticing some strange things…
Shelly was among the first to arrive and looked much younger than I remembered from her larger pictures. Even Mouse said upon meeting her “you do not look anything like your screen name!”. I caught myself wondering if it was indeed the real Shelly I was meeting. And if it wasn’t, what was the reason behind this subterfuge? She brought this excellent home made salsa, which I actually managed to smuggle a small sample back to Europe – we’ll have that stuff mass produced in Ukraine in no time!
After that things got weirder. Sequ was actually nice to me! He looked like a nice person and actually seemed to enjoy eating Mozart’s balls. I had brought a bag full of them as a replacement for Rasho’s. But where was Pseudofan? She had been my only ally in my disputes with Sequ on the forum – something was not right.
Soon after, I finally met the femme fatale of SpursTalk.com: SpursWoman. She walked in the room full of confidence, her boy toy’s short leash firmly in hand. User666 was very polite and did not seem to mind too much about the leash (but then again who would?). The stuffed Jalapenos she made were almost as hot as her!
The game started, and I was given a beer, politely tasting it and expecting the foul taste that I came to expect from Budweiser Lite, I could not believe how good it was! The Texans obviously know a thing or two about beer, unfortunately they are not sharing that knowledge with the rest of the US. Seriously if you’re ever in Texas just ask for a Shiner Bock (Note for Slovenian readers: it tastes very much like Union Pivo)!
Rasho was doing a good job defensively against Shaq, but his shooting was just horrible. Things were not looking too bad at half time, when a man in a black suit jumped into the room! You guessed it Mouse made his entrance, followed by Mr. & Mrs. CrazyOne – who looked perfectly sane to me, but what do I know…
Now Mouse immediately started to talk smack to everybody, and he was very good at it! I was laughing and enjoying myself until I realized that Mouse was ever so subtly questioning me about the secrets of the Soviet Union – this guy is good!
Thank god I got a reprieve from the questioning when Kori called us to start eating all the fantastic food that had accumulated on the table since the beginning of the game. Now I can not tell you what we ate – despite my many questions people were very secretive about the food – but it was delicious! I just hope I’ll be able to pass the mandatory drug test upon returning to my country….
Unfortunately the Spurs lost the game and it did make things a little awkward for me since I was blamed for it – my presence in the USA obviously not bringing any luck to the Spurs.
After the game, Mouse lured me outside to the patio where the questioning continued. BigZak was there and was trying to get my attention, I couldn’t help but think that he was trying to tell me something, but under the ever so vigilant eye of JoeChalupa he did not dare say anything. I somehow got through the 3rd degree and returned inside, people were already leaving. I found BigZak in the living room sweating through every pore and obviously terrified by something or someone. At a certain point he started mumbling and I was sure I would finally find out about what was going on, but at that moment Mouse offered me another beer and as I turned back to BigZak he was no longer there. Despite looking everywhere BigZak had disappeared! Everybody acting like nothing was wrong just confirmed my suspicions. He was obviously trying to warn me about something but they got to him before me!
The rest of the evening is somewhat of a blur, I wonder if they slipped something in my beer or was it just the somewhat excessive number of Shiner Bock I drank that day? Anyway I blame them!
The next day I decided to explore San Antonio, maybe find out what BigZak was trying to warn me about. I was about to go when MannyIsGod called and insisted he would accompany me and “show me the sites” – keeping an eye on me was more what he wanted to do.
First we drove to the Alamo, visited the River Walk and walked by the new Library I was enjoying an unusually warm day for the season and listening to some interesting facts from Manny. That was a mistake, probably sensing my guard was down he suggested we have chicken fried steak for lunch. He further explained that is was a culinary specialty from Texas and that it was basically a fried steak with some gravy and mash potatoes. I agreed and we went to a diner that was advertising the Texan dish in its window. When we received our food I knew I was in trouble. The chicken fried steak was made of beef, and the steak was covered with a creamy white substance! Gravy my ass! I tried to avoid eating it but Manny was already eating insisting that it was really good. I thought that if I ate it really fast it would buy me some time before I get the full effect of whatever that stuff was.
Well it did not work. The rest of the day is a blur. I vaguely remember some dried out ponds in some weird gardens, a church surrounded by prison cells, and me carrying a big plastic bag full of Spurs gear. Thank God I took pictures so I’ll try to analyze them later.
I couldn’t think straight until the next day. While our flight was following the Mississippi river on its way to Europe I was trying to make sense of what had happened to me the past three days. As you can see the reality of these GTG is much different than the idyllic tales that have been published previously. I now know that there is more going on than we are made to believe and I for one will not rest until I get to the bottom of it!
I have decided to sacrifice myself and to grab the first opportunity that will present itself to return to San Antonio. Maybe next time I will get the opportunity to investigate the HQ of this shady organization, more commonly known as the SBC centre.
On a more serious note:
Thanks to everybody I got to meet for a lovely time and specially to Kori, LJ, Jekka, MannyIsGod and Gregg for taking such good care of me.
Slomo