Have you ever got into a fight?

[InRareForm]

And no, high school and middle school stories don't count.

Please share the physical altercation and who won. Please tell the truth.

[I. Hustle]

All the time. But talking about stuff like that in here is only going to invite all the yeah rights and I call bullshit's

[mexicanjunior]

Not since middle school...

[DPG21920]

Old people fighting is ridiculous. So no one is going to post in here if it is not a high school or earlier fight out of d-bagness

[CosmicCowboy]

Been in a couple of close scrapes with guns but haven't been in a fist fight since junior high.

[balli]

I got into a couple minor skirmishes with cheesedicks at bars when I was in my early 20's. Nothing serious. However, when I was 19 I was leaving a party in my buddy's car and as we were pulling away, like a 300 lb Tongan stopped us and asked for a cigarette. Then he tried to jack my wallet and when I wouldn't give it to him he sucker punched me through the open passenger window and knocked me out cold.

[Anti.Hero]

Not since I got jumped by 8 ninjas and had to spend 5 weeks at Santa Rosa.












You should see the ninjas.

[tlongII]

I got pissed off at a guy that blocked my way out of a parking lot at a nightclub so I bull-dogged him face first into the pavement.

[CosmicCowboy]

Actually, thinking back, I kind of got in one. First job out of college I was a construction superintendent for a big home builder. Been there a year or so and my boss got fired. I kind of ran things in the subdivision for several months and then got a new boss that was a real prick. He didn't like me and I didn't like him. We had very different management styles. I turned in payroll for one of my subcontractors (a land clearer) that we owed a lot of money...to fuck with me he didn't turn the check request in. (this is a long story being very condensed...he wanted to hold a $35,000 check for something very trivial...I had requested 2 checks...one for $34,000 and one $1000 check he could hold) when I found out he had intentionally not turned in my check requests I told him that he needed to go outside and tell the guy (that was waiting in his truck) that he wasn't getting any money...he gave me this evil little grin and told me that was my job...I went outside and told the guy he wasn't getting paid and he reached over into his glove compartment and pulled a Smith and Wesson .357 out and shoved it in my face and told me he wanted his check. It took me about 5 minutes staring down the barrel of that .357 to convince John not to kill me (I knew he had tractor payments past due) while my weasel boss peeked out the trailer window...I finally promised him I would have him a check Monday if he didn't kill me.

I remember this like it was yesterday...

I walked inside the trailer, walked up to my boss, and grabbed him by the throat with one hand, picked him up off the floor about 6", and slammed him against the wall and held him there. I was squeezing his windpipe and I very calmly told him that if he ever did that to me again I would kill him. I asked him if he understood. He gave me a strangled "uhhuh"...he was getting a little green by then...I asked him if he was going to get me a check for John before Monday...he again gave me a strangled "uhhuh"...I put my nose right up against his and said "don't even think of fucking me on that...do you understand? he gave me another strangled "uhhuh" and I dropped him.

Naturally I got fired the next week but i got the guy his check.

This guy eventually got transferred to Louisiana and tried to pull the same shit on another contractor and spent weeks in intensive care...they beat the everloving crap out of him and he still walks with a limp/shuffle.

[DPG21920]

Well I hope everyone involved went to jail.

[CosmicCowboy]

I had a room mate in college that was a little guy that was funny as hell when he was sober but was a belligerent drunk. He was always starting shit in bars and then running to me for protection...I'd have to talk them down..

At the time I was 6'5", 260lbs, playing sports, running 10 miles a day and working out 6 days a week so there weren't many guys that wanted a piece of that.

After about the 4th time he did that to me I told him no mas...I was out there to have fun and hustle women and I wasn't bailing his ass out again...

Damned if the next time we went out he didn't do it again...I just told him, Brian you little fuck! I TOLD you not to do this shit again! I told the other guys we needed to take this to the parking lot...we all went outside and I told them (yeah, he was lipping off to TWO guys!) they had fifteen seconds to kick his ass and I was going to watch. If they went 16 seconds I was gonna kick THEIR asses. By that time the stupidity of the whole situation dawned on them and everyone laughed it off but at least Brian never pulled that shit on me again.

[CosmicCowboy]

Well I hope everyone involved went to jail.

In my deal? nope. The weasel boss had called the Sheriff when he pulled the gun but john was long gone when they got there. I refused to press charges. We owed the guy money and didn't pay him. He may have over reacted but he had a right to be pissed.

[SequSpur]

I beat the shit out some spursreport moderators a few years ago at a gtg.

[CosmicCowboy]

I beat the shit out some spursreport moderators a few years ago at a gtg.

Flagellating them with your tongue doesn't count.

[E20]

No one fucks with me, so naturally no I have not.

[Heath Ledger]

Two days after halloween I got into a fight with my brother in law and broke my hand on his face in two places. I just got the cast off two days ago. The little shit had refused to stop being a psycho and I had to put him in his place, him manning up to me when we employ him, feed him and put a roof over his head did not sit well with me, we took this shitbag off the streets after he burned every bridge he had with the rest of his family.

After the incident he apologized about it and said he deserved it but we are no longer cool with each other and don't talk much, we used to hang out every once in a while and go to the park and shoot some hoops. About a week ago we caught him stealing pain pills from my bedroom, hes on his last chance before we bus him the fuck out of here. We cut him a little slack because we knew when he came here he had issues and we were dumb enough to leave them out in the open, but this dumb fucker took 24 pills out of 50 like we werent going to notice that.

[phyzik]

wasnt really a fight... some guy robbed me at knife point at a conveniant store when I had a broken leg with a huge cast. I gave him the money and the guy started to walk away out of the parking lot. I got in my car and gave him a nice ride over the top of my hood and into my windshield.

The cops charged him with armed robbery and assault and me with assault with a deadly weapon. My charge was dropped later in court when the jury saw the gas station tape of him robbing a disabled person (me with the broken leg) and apparantly he had done it on a number of occasions to other people at the same location. The guy only got a few scrapes and bruises from my stunt. This was back in 2001.

The judge was pissed at the dude and ordered in addition to jail time that he pay for the damages to my car :lol

[dirk4mvp]

wasnt really a fight... some guy robbed me at knife point at a conveniant store when I had a broken leg with a huge cast. I gave him the money and the guy started to walk away out of the parking lot. I got in my car and gave him a nice ride over the top of my hood and into my windshield.

The cops charged him with armed robbery and assault and me with assault with a deadly weapon. My charge was dropped later in court when the jury saw the gas station tape of him robbing a disabled person (me with the broken leg) and apparantly he had done it on a number of occasions to other people at the same location. The guy only got a few scrapes and bruises from my stunt. This was back in 2001.

The judge was pissed at the dude and ordered in addition to jail time that he pay for the damages to my car :lol

lol, fucking owned

[DarkReign]

Old people fighting is ridiculous.

Im not old.

Couple months back, me and the old crew got together. Long night later, we decided to go for last call.

Bla bla bla, some biker fuck starts shit with my friend. Just so happen to be with a guy who loves to fight, so I knew where this was going in a hurry.

I call the shit starter Gary and my fighter friend Joe.

Gary says something like "I'll fuck y..." annnnd that was lights out for him. I honestly dont know what some people are thinking at times like those. Not a time for words. Bitch out the door or come in swinging, notice "talking" wasnt an option.

Gary's friends....none to happy. But theyre fake so they talk a lot. This whole time, Im just chilling at the end of the bar with my wife. No reason to get involved and we arent the type to "jump" people. Fair fights unless they break the rules.

Anyhoot, Im still not involved. But the three leather-heads drag their near unconscious friend off the floor, talking shit the whole time. Understandable, I guess. Still no reason to do anything.

One of the fruitcakes see me staring at them intently (for obvious reasons) not knowing that I am with the guy who just knocked their friend out. Im not intimidating by any standard so I'm sure Mr Toughguy thought I'd be a good subsitute for the other end of the barrel.

Hes a dumbass. A just-under-40-and-out-of-shape dumbass. He says something trite, which I ignore due to the complete unfairness that would unfold if I didnt.

That wasnt good enough for John Douchebag. He steps toward me and throws his cigarette at me (misses). That was that. He was standing next to his two buddies with him in the middle. I calmly and slowly put my beer down and told my wife to stay here.

I knew I had to create some distance in a small space in a soon-to-be 3v1 situation, no matter how temporary I may be outnumbered, I was outnumbered nonetheless. I walked up all casual, big smile on my face, looking over his shoulder. This is when I knew he was as dumb and as out-of-the-loop as I thought he was. He turned slightly to see what I was looking at. HA!

His boys werent really paying me any attention, so in an effort to delay their involvement I pushed them each with one hand as hard as I could. They stumbled long enough for people to get in their way. Left hand, right cross, he goes down like Monica. His boys recover and theyreon me fast.

Pandemonium. Ive got Low IQ on his back with me on top of him, in a headlock with my left arm (side mount with a headlock, for you MMA folks). I am raining right hands on his unprotected, stupid face.

Im getting kicked and punched and pushed and pulled, etc. I finally get dragged off by one his boys and I manage to get on my feet, I immediately throw two big righthand uppercuts under his chin and put him the floor.

Then I go real black, real fast, but for only an instant. I come to with the bouncer on top of me, holding me down with my friend dropping elbows on the back of his head. KOed, literally. Not kind of knocked out, ora little woozy. Straight out. Sleeping. Zzzzz.

Seems the intial douchebag was a mess, the uppercut guy got his ass beat the moment he hit the floor by one of my friends. 3rd washrag busted a bottle over the side of my head and cut me from one end of my eyebrow to the other (about 3 inches). He was hospitalized for that, but not by me and I didnt see a moment of it (little busy at the time).

We split, real fast. Cops were pulling in as our group was pulling out. I am real cool with the bartenders/bouncers of the bar, so I got the post game wrap a day later.

Gary (knocked out by Joe) had a busted nose and wasnt walking all that well.
40 year old Chatterbox got three of his front teeth knocked out, broken nose and some beautiful shiners to complete the ensemble.
His faggot friend was no worse for wear, save a good ass kicking.
Hambone who busted a bottle over my head got his ribs broken and a concussion. I guess he covered up pretty well, didnt save him much, but it saved him the scars.

We went back to my boys house and drank until the sun came up with me being the "crazy sonofabitch" of the conversation for diving into a 3v1. Reliving old memories from the old days with the old crew...now I know why we dont hang out anymore. I'd be in jail.

[J.T.]

A few weeks ago me and my friends went to Whataburger at like 2am after a poker game. I was pretty fucking stoned, the other two were really drunk. One of my friends is listening to some music on his new $600 media phone while we're eating and these two guys sitting close to us keep looking at us. They're pretty drunk too and one of them says "Don't douchebags have a curfew?" as he looks straight at me. We didn't say anything, but my friend didn't turn off his music either. The one guy keeps talking his shit for a few more minutes, and then when they walk out we all give them threatening looks. I can't see them after they leave, but my friends tell me they're sitting in their car waiting for us with the doors open. When we walked out, we started heading toward my truck but they cut us off and the guy that had been talking shit got up in my friend with the mp3 phone's face real close and started shoving him. My friend (who is about as big as me) hit him in the nose... dunno if he broke it or not but he was bleeding pretty bad. The other guy hit me after that but he threw the flattest punch I've ever seen in my life. Hit my lip and it didn't even swell. I pushed him face first to the ground and we got the fuck out of there...not because we didn't want to fight but because there were cops at the IHOP next door and we had weed and pipes on us.

[Heath Ledger]

Dark Reign, let me clue you in on a secret about bikers, even if you think you can take them dont try, many of them carry guns and knives and many are ex felons who dont give a fuck about using them. I know this because my dad is the president of a bike club and in my 33 yrs ive been around the biker lifestyle and seen some crazy shit, a large # of bikers in detroit carry guns, your best bet is to just walk the fuck away if possible, its not worth yours or your wives (stray bullet) life. Also if bikers are in your local bar chances are the bar is gonna be on their side so you may find your self more severely outnumbered than you once thought. Also biker bitches are pretty froggy and they probably would have gone after your wife, those bitches are hardcore.

Sounds like you just got lucky and ran into some chumps or some fly by night yuppy bikers who work for Ford and Gm.

[tp2021]

wasnt really a fight... some guy robbed me at knife point at a conveniant store when I had a broken leg with a huge cast. I gave him the money and the guy started to walk away out of the parking lot. I got in my car and gave him a nice ride over the top of my hood and into my windshield.

The cops charged him with armed robbery and assault and me with assault with a deadly weapon. My charge was dropped later in court when the jury saw the gas station tape of him robbing a disabled person (me with the broken leg) and apparantly he had done it on a number of occasions to other people at the same location. The guy only got a few scrapes and bruises from my stunt. This was back in 2001.

The judge was pissed at the dude and ordered in addition to jail time that he pay for the damages to my car :lol
That's just awesome.

[DarkReign]

Sounds like you just got lucky and ran into some chumps or some fly by night yuppy bikers who work for Ford and Gm.

Bingo. I tabbed them for douchebags on first glance.

[BacktoBasics]

I've been in 7 or 8 fights and lost every one of them except one. I have a big mouth so scuffles happen quite frequently. The last fight I got into I ended up being choked down by a giant Samoan women and my knees bleed for three days.

The only fight I ever won was in the Texas Stadium parking lot. I was driving out and the guy next to us didn't like the fact that I wouldn't let him in so he got out and started punching my friend thru the window. I jumped out and blindsided the guy then jumped back in and got out of there as quick as I could before it could get worse.

[IronMexican]

Been in a couple.

[dirk4mvp]

Oh boy!

So this one time, after GameDay, there was this Corso waiting out in the parking lot for Corso and Kirk Herbstreit.

Oh boy! He was holding a sign that said "Corso has a baby arm!"

And I warned him, "Yeww jess kent dew teengks like dettt..."

and I punched that Corso in his face! and Oh boy! He went down like backtobasics mom!

I told Kirk Herbstreit, "He doesn't want to go back to the sidelines, and talk to the Ollllllll' ball coach, efter det one."

and then this second Corso comes out of nowhere and gets Kirk Herbstreit in a headlock!

and I shouted "Watch out!" and pulled out my Ticonderoga #2 pencil and threw it Chinese-star style right through the second Corso's skull! "Watch out is right," Kirk Herbstreit said.

Just then, two more Corsos, come out of nowhere! and get me in a headlock! I commented, "These guys are good!" before elbowing them both of them in the stomach and smashing their faces in with a double front kick! Kirk Herbstreit walks up to their prone bodies, pulls out his nine and blasts 4 shots into their kneecaps.

"Ha." I laughed. "That's what I woulda done."

Another Corso comes walking up, puts up his dukes, and then sees his friend's lying all over the ground. He thinks better about it and bolts like lightning!

Kirk Herbstreit said, "I bet that guy could runs a 4.2 Forty, non-wind-aided."

"Non-wind aided!" I said. "I don't care if he had the wind or not. This guy's fast!"


:lmao

Wow. This is one of the best posts I've ever read.

[Anti.Hero]

I've been in 7 or 8 fights and lost every one of them except one. I have a big mouth so scuffles happen quite frequently. The last fight I got into I ended up being choked down by a giant Samoan women and my knees bleed for three days.

The only fight I ever won was in the Texas Stadium parking lot. I was driving out and the guy next to us didn't like the fact that I wouldn't let him in so he got out and started punching my friend thru the window. I jumped out and blindsided the guy then jumped back in and got out of there as quick as I could before it could get worse.

lol maaaaaaaaaaan.

You just don't fuck with Samoans. Everyone knows that!

[lefty]

Not since I got jumped by 8 ninjas and had to spend 5 weeks at Santa Rosa.












You should see the ninjas.

:lmao

[Dr. Gonzo]

I've never been in a fight but I've deserved to get my ass kick many times.

[balli]

lol maaaaaaaaaaan.

You just don't fuck with Samoans. Everyone knows that!

Utah's full up of Tongans because the mormons have targeted them as a people with strong potential. They (mormons) put a lot of effort into getting American citizenship for Tongan citizens, in exchange for their souls.

Besides the time one of them knocked me the fuck out, I've always found them to be delightful people. Unpredictable fighters, who yes, you never mess with, but if you know how to watch your mouth, your step and your back, Tongans, and I'd assume South Sea islanders in general, are just an immensely warm and engaging ethnic group to spend time with.

[phyzik]

besides the incident I posted about earlier, I've had plenty of chances to jump in one at my friends bar (usually a few idiots trying to talk big to the manager or a regular) but they are usually taken care of before I even knew what was going on. Security usually has shit under control, its pretty rare when it happens but it does once in a while. Thats probably the only place I frequent alot and its unlikely that I will ever get fucked with as just about every regular knows me.

Someone fucks with a regular there (not just me) they will see about 20 MFers stand up. They usually leave pretty quickly at that point.

[mrsmaalox]

I have never been involved in any sort of violent physical altercation in my life. :)

[dirk4mvp]

I have never been involved in any sort of violent physical altercation in my life. :)


I'm sure you could take a bitch down if you had to.


My mom beat down my dad's gf about 8 years ago. One of the more exciting events I've seen in my young life.

[CuckingFunt]

No fights here.

I suppose if someone started one, I'd have to figure a way to defend myself, but I can't imagine ever being angry enough to hit someone first. It just isn't in me.