ROFL: check out this craigslist ad

[averageusaconsumer]

http://austin.craigslist.org/cto/967333855.html


:lmao:lmao I can't make this shit up

[Slydragon]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/

[Vinnie_Johnson]

http://austin.craigslist.org/cto/967333855.html


:lmao:lmao I can't make this shit up

OMG :lmao

[Avitus1]

Lmao!

[Heath Ledger]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/944397175.html

+1

[Vinnie_Johnson]

The girl who took a dump in the Art Institute parking lot! - m4w
Date: 2008-12-03, 11:53PM PST


I mean, come on!

It was like 50 paces to the nearest restroom!

I sat there in my car wondering what the hell you were up to - you spent at least 2 minutes scurrying around your parked car, looking to see if the coast was clear. I thought you were going to, like, break into someone else's car or something. Then I guessed you thought you were "safe" and hurried to the front of your car, near the third level stairwell, dropped your pants, squatted and WENT TO IT!

For Christ's sake, woman! All the time you spent looking out for passing cars so no one would see you crapping like a dog in public, you could have hustled your lazy ass downstairs and into the building and USED THE DAMNED RESTROOM!

Sheesh!

Anyway - if you're free later, drop me a line. I was never more turned on in my life.

[samikeyp]

:lmao

[2Blonde]

I liked the chick who wanted to rent out her bathroom for $400/month. Told them they have to stay only in the bathroom. :lmao

[chode_regulator]

while i realize this is a horrible ad, just bc you have one cylinder runing low compression does not mean you need a new engine.

[Vinnie_Johnson]

while i realize this is a horrible ad, just bc you have one cylinder runing low compression does not mean you need a new engine.

Call her.:lmao

[chode_regulator]

i cnat afford a high class ho lke that


:downspin:

[jcrod]

I liked the chick who wanted to rent out her bathroom for $400/month. Told them they have to stay only in the bathroom. :lmao

I am a female in my mid 60's and I am looking for a room mate. Times are tight and I need some extra money.
I am willing to rent out my bathroom in my 1 bedroom east village home.

My bathroom is large. You can easily put a twin air mattress in there. I only ask that when I need to use the bathroom, you or your air mattress are not in it.

I do ask that when you are in the apartment, you confine yourself to the bathroom. I do not feel comfortable with a stranger walking around my living room. This might change as I get to know you better.
You may have guest over as long as they are cnfined to the bathroom as well. This might seem a bit odd but please remember the rent is $400 and the bathroom is large.

:lmao

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

To the older woman watching me buying condoms - m4w

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2008-10-22, 6:10PM CDT



I was the 20 something guy holding two bottles of chardonay in the condom section of the Dominick's. You were the lovely lady in her 50's peering over my shoulder as I made my selection. I was not aware of your presence until the audible gasp when I reached for a box of ribbed magnums. My date did not go exactly as planned; the wine went down ok but I forgot to use the magnums in the heat of the moment and I think I may have gotten the clap. Long story short I still have a dozen condoms left over if you are interested in going out sometime...


Location: Schaumburg
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 889660321

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

Light house cleaning needed

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2008-09-23, 4:28PM CDT



Need some light house cleaning. I'm pretty busy and not able to clean my apartment so I need someone to do some light work once a week or so. Here are some pictures to give a general idea.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/hou/tidy.1.jpg

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/hou/tidy.2.jpg

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/hou/tidy.3.jpg

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/hou/tidy.4.jpg

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/hou/tidy.5.jpg












Location: Houston, TX
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 852526961

[T Park]

that has to be a set up picture and not a "real' picture so to speak

[ORION]

that has to be a set up picture and not a "real' picture so to speak

I get that damn email with these same pictures every other month

[MoSpur]

That ad is hilarious.

[Sancha]

The girl who took a dump in the Art Institute parking lot! - m4w
Date: 2008-12-03, 11:53PM PST


I mean, come on!

It was like 50 paces to the nearest restroom!

I sat there in my car wondering what the hell you were up to - you spent at least 2 minutes scurrying around your parked car, looking to see if the coast was clear. I thought you were going to, like, break into someone else's car or something. Then I guessed you thought you were "safe" and hurried to the front of your car, near the third level stairwell, dropped your pants, squatted and WENT TO IT!

For Christ's sake, woman! All the time you spent looking out for passing cars so no one would see you crapping like a dog in public, you could have hustled your lazy ass downstairs and into the building and USED THE DAMNED RESTROOM!

Sheesh!

Anyway - if you're free later, drop me a line. I was never more turned on in my life.


Look ese I was in a hurry and they already kicked me out of that pinche building. If you want you can have the thong I was wearing that day.

[DannyT]

Light house cleaning needed

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2008-09-23, 4:28PM CDT



Need some light house cleaning. I'm pretty busy and not able to clean my apartment so I need someone to do some light work once a week or so. Here are some pictures to give a general idea.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/hou/tidy.1.jpg

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/hou/tidy.2.jpg

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/hou/tidy.3.jpg

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/hou/tidy.4.jpg

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/hou/tidy.5.jpg












Location: Houston, TX
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 852526961




is this why kori and lj pick up mouse for?

mouse does it really look that bad?

[MiamiHeat]

that's a fake craigslist ad. i saw those pictures from an episode of "Clean House"

[nkdlunch]

well some ppl live like that or worse. just yesterday saw a tv show where a house was in worse shape. woman had dead cat carcasses on her bed

[leemajors]

goldfish up my ass please - m4m - 20
Reply to: [email protected] [?]
Date: 2008-12-29, 5:54PM EST


i am perfectly serious here. i would love for someone to stuff my ass with live goldfish or let me stuff their ass with goldfish. i am a thin twink with a tight ass. i was to feel them moving in my ass and jerk off with my ass filled.

if you respond, i'd love to see a picture but it isn't needed. however, i want you to dirty talk to me and tell me all about what you want to do with me and how much you want it. the better your response it, the more likely i'll choose you.

please get back to me. i am horny as fuck, and i want someone to feed my little ass with a ton of little squirming fish.

once again, i am COMPLETELY serious, and i would appreciate only serious responses (even if you are just seriously curious).

[ploto]

New batch of "Best of." I thought some guys here would appreciate this one:


My wife needs a man.

And not just any man. Oh, no.

She needs a man who is very handsome, very accomplished, highly educated, very articulate, reasonably wealthy, and who is a good listener. Here's the kicker: you must have so little self-esteem that being completely submissive comes to you as naturally as the way a light turns off when somebody hits the switch. And then comes on again when a certain someone changes their mind just a moment later.

Do you like hours and hours of antiquing on beautiful summer days and offering meaningless approval of others' purchases? Hey, good.

Do you like being asked about home decorating selections by someone who has no intention of actually taking your opinions? Very good. You're on a roll.

Do you mind abandoning your friendships and foregoing the chance to make new ones? Hey, excellent!

Would it bother you if long-held plans that you were kinda looking forward to are routinely abandoned without notice? No, of course you wouldn't. Hey - you're really rocking now.

Those pots and pans you were told to remove from the dishwasher - like, you weren't actually planning on putting them somewhere without first consulting someone, were you? Oh, good.

Do you have the ability to nod and utter "um-hmm" at socially appropriate moments for long periods of time without actually asking or saying anything? (You can't try and avoid this by listening to your iPod on long car trips. I've tried this. It does not work. I have two busted pairs of earphones to show for it.)

If all that is true, then certainly you won't mind it if the Redskins game you were looking forward to ALL FREAKING WEEK is switched off in favor of an epidode of HGTV's "My Home is Worth What?" that you're pretty sure you sat through two weeks ago.

If you have all of these qualities and promise to be a decent role model to my children, I'll bankroll you in a comfortable lifestyle at a level to be determined by my wife's yet-to-be-hired lawyer. You'll enjoy a four bedroom suburban colonial with a pretty damn nice kitchen. You'll have your own space in a two-car garage for your car. You'll have a small, yappy little dog with bad breath that is yours to walk on a rhinestone-studded, hot-pink leash - first thing every morning and last thing every evening. And you'll have a one-acre lawn to keep manicured. (Neglect it at your peril, friend.)

After the holidays are gone, so am I. You can reach me by satellite phone. I'll be on the deck of a leaky old bass boat off the coast of Florida drinking a Corona and listening to some Jimmy Buffett and thinking about something other than the balance of my 401(k).

Oh - I almost forgot: there will be no sex. Like, none.

If you're interested, hit me up with an e-mail and we'll get you all fixed up.


http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/942098294.html

[PM5K]

goldfish up my ass please - m4m - 20
Reply to: [email protected] [?]
Date: 2008-12-29, 5:54PM EST


i am perfectly serious here. i would love for someone to stuff my ass with live goldfish or let me stuff their ass with goldfish. i am a thin twink with a tight ass. i was to feel them moving in my ass and jerk off with my ass filled.

if you respond, i'd love to see a picture but it isn't needed. however, i want you to dirty talk to me and tell me all about what you want to do with me and how much you want it. the better your response it, the more likely i'll choose you.

please get back to me. i am horny as fuck, and i want someone to feed my little ass with a ton of little squirming fish.

once again, i am COMPLETELY serious, and i would appreciate only serious responses (even if you are just seriously curious).

Who provides the fish?

[tp2021]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/all/

MAN that shit is great!

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

New batch of "Best of." I thought some guys here would appreciate this one:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/942098294.html

Wow. That guy is going to kill his wife before everything is said and done. :(

How do you end up with someone so unsuited to yourself?

[MiamiHeat]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/949686666.html

[Smackie Chan]

goldfish up my ass please - m4m - 20
Reply to: [email protected] [?]
Date: 2008-12-29, 5:54PM EST


i am perfectly serious here. i would love for someone to stuff my ass with live goldfish or let me stuff their ass with goldfish. i am a thin twink with a tight ass. i was to feel them moving in my ass and jerk off with my ass filled.

if you respond, i'd love to see a picture but it isn't needed. however, i want you to dirty talk to me and tell me all about what you want to do with me and how much you want it. the better your response it, the more likely i'll choose you.

please get back to me. i am horny as fuck, and i want someone to feed my little ass with a ton of little squirming fish.

once again, i am COMPLETELY serious, and i would appreciate only serious responses (even if you are just seriously curious).

^ this story seems a little fishy to me.

[Smackie Chan]

Wow. That guy is going to kill his wife before everything is said and done. :(

How do you end up with someone so unsuited to yourself?

You get drunk and start posting in the TRoll forum.