My youngest is being called a nerd..

[JoeChalupa]

So me and the youngest were watching a movie and we started talking about how some people make fun of others and she tells me that she gets teased at school for being a "nerd" and I said, "Say again!?".
So she tells me how other kids, boys and girls, tease her about her grades and that they'd rather be "cool" than have good grades and be a "nerd". So I tell her to tell them that she can do more than one thing at once and that she can be cool AND get good grades at the same time. That she can defend herself without making fun of them in return.
She's only 9. Are kids this young already into looking "cool" and making fun of those who are succeeding?
Now some of you may think she is a taddle tale because I've taught her that she doesn't need to take crap from anyone regarding her looks, religion or race and she did tell me that she has told the teacher on more than one occasion and caused a classmate to get a "sign off". Maybe that isn't giving her such a good rep at school but so be it.

What say you? My kids know that I do not tolerate teasing of another child for ANY reason and that I'd better not ever catch them joining in on the so called "fun" of teasing. In fact, she's come to the defense of others several times and has be-friended some of her best friends.

Any of you other parents ever run into this? Am I raising her to be weak? She has my temper so I'm not worried about her defending herself and she's in Karate class but knows that using it in school is a definite NO.

[leemajors]

sounds like the other kids are being kids. it sucks, but if she has thick skin no biggie.

[I. Hustle]

Yeah kids are kids.

She should just tell them in the future their PARENTS will be working for her.

[I Love Me Some Me]

I have a 9-year old daughter also, and her girl friends are already catty little beyotches.

I've told her that it really doesn't matter what other people say or think about her. The more she lets it bother her, the more power she gives to the person saying something. If she shows she doesn't care what someone else thinks of her, then it completely takes the power away from the person trying to hurt her.

[Homeland Security]

I remember some classmates who made fun of me when I was young. Three years ago, I got them classified as enemy combatants and had them rendered to Syria. Ha-ha!

[Rohirrim]

Tell her that she may not understand this right now, but in 10 years none of these little shits will mean ANYTHING and that grades are #1.

School drama is completely pointless. Words are just words and therefore harmless. Tell her these kids making fun of her will be losers at 20 while she will be off making something of herself. Get her to develop a certain satisfaction knowing this while they themselves are completely oblivious to it. :lol

That and once you hit high school, smart people are respected if it's not a shit school.

If I ever have a son I will be pumping life lessons in him nonstop haha. I will raise a little Spartan.

[BacktoBasics]

The answer is simple.

Smart people make good money. (Surely she can cite a name these kids are familar with)

So they can make fun of her all she wants while they clean her mansion and wax her Lambo.

You need to give her a line to drop.

"I'd rather be a nerd like Bill Gates and drive a Ferarri then be cool and drive a Neon"

make sure she brings up a car that one of the kids parents have so they feel poor and stupid.

[JoeChalupa]

Yeah, I know kids will be kids but it makes me wonder what they are being taught at home where it all begins, IMO, and thanks for the responses. :tu

[ploto]

My child wears the label of "nerd" proudly.

[JoeChalupa]

The answer is simple.

Smart people make good money. (Surely she can cite a name these kids are familar with)

So they can make fun of her all she wants while they clean her mansion and wax her Lambo.

You need to give her a line to drop.

"I'd rather be a nerd like Bill Gates and drive a Ferarri then be cool and drive a Neon"

make sure she brings up a car that one of the kids parents have so they feel poor and stupid.

:tu I was waiting for your response. :toast

[BacktoBasics]

:tu I was waiting for your response. :toast
People don't realize that ignoring it won't work. Not at that age. If she ignores it they'll pound harder until they get a reaction out of her. You don't want that phone call. She just needs a passive aggressive one liner to let the other kids know she's wittier. Its easy to make a 9 year old look stupid with a well crafted one liner. They usually don't come back for more.

[JoeChalupa]

People don't realize that ignoring it won't work. Not at that age. If she ignores it they'll pound harder until they get a reaction out of her. You don't want that phone call. She just needs a passive aggressive one liner to let the other kids know she's wittier. Its easy to make a 9 year old look stupid with a well crafted one liner. They usually don't come back for more.

True. Nip it in the bud.

[tlongII]

Nerds are cool.

[tlongII]

My niece is a nerd and she's the coolest 12 year old I know.

[td4mvp21]

One liners are good.

[J.T.]

One liners are good.

"Have you ever seen the back seat of a Chevy Trailblazer?" works good for me

[Dex]

I have a nephew who is 13, and is one of your typical quiet kids. Bright but shy and mellow, plays a lot of video games, etc. Reminds me a lot of myself at that age. He gets teased for a lot of the same things, so what I told him was that the sooner he realizes that the 'majority' usually isn't looking out for his own best interests, the better.

Being one of the 'smart kids' hasn't been cool for some time now. But even if you ask most kids if they'd rather be smart and a nerd, or popular but stupid, they'd opt to be smart. The best advice I think you can give her is to ignore what the 'crowd' is doing, and that she should simply worry about making friends with people she likes and is comfortable with.

I was probably heralded as a nerd through school, and eventually came to embrace it. After that, I started hanging out with people from all groups, from the kids in my Honors classes to the riffraff after class, and just made friends as I saw fit. Being comfortable in your own skin is much more important than fitting into some mold.

[JoeChalupa]

I have a nephew who is 13, and is one of your typical quiet kids. Bright but shy and mellow, plays a lot of video games, etc. Reminds me a lot of myself at that age. He gets teased for a lot of the same things, so what I told him was that the sooner he realizes that the 'majority' usually isn't looking out for his own best interests, the better.

Being one of the 'smart kids' hasn't been cool for some time now. But even if you ask most kids if they'd rather be smart and a nerd, or popular but stupid, they'd opt to be smart. The best advice I think you can give her is to ignore what the 'crowd' is doing, and that she should simply worry about making friends with people she likes and is comfortable with.

I was probably heralded as a nerd through school, and eventually came to embrace it. After that, I started hanging out with people from all groups, from the kids in my Honors classes to the riffraff after class, and just made friends as I saw fit. Being comfortable in your own skin is much more important than fitting into some mold.

^RACK!! That's what I'm talking about....right there!!!

[DarkReign]

Ahhh, America, where learning, education and striving to better oneself is a detriment amongst their peers.

Take B2Bs advice.

I was always the "get along with everybody" kind of person and used to be the one sticking up for those who were made fun of and they would stop because I'd knock theyre fucking teeth out if they didnt cease and desist immediately.

As I got older, I realized all those nerds and geeks are BY FAR having the last laugh in the hartiest of fashions. Nerds employ "cool" kids.

[Jekka]

People don't realize that ignoring it won't work. Not at that age. If she ignores it they'll pound harder until they get a reaction out of her. You don't want that phone call. She just needs a passive aggressive one liner to let the other kids know she's wittier. Its easy to make a 9 year old look stupid with a well crafted one liner. They usually don't come back for more.

Very true. I had a good friend in elementary school who shot up to 5'8 by the fifth grade, and kids would make fun of her and say things like, "How's the weather up there?" and she'd say, "Drafty." The ones that got it didn't mess with her anymore, and the ones that didn't get just looked dumb.

Anyways, being a nerd is cool. I wouldn't emphasize her "differences" from her peers so much as how there's nothing wrong with being smart and these kids are just too lazy to put forth the same efforts as her. That doesn't make these other kids better.

But at this age, girls don't need to be told how different they are, because it's important to feel like they fit in, and any kid over age 6 won't take "they're just jealous" as anything more than feeding them a line, even if it's true. And while it's good to remind kids that in the future they will be better off, it's important to have another benefit to getting good grades and being a "nerd" now since kids that age don't really have a concept of time and it's easy to blow something like that off.

I taught day camp classes for that age group for two summers in the past, and those little girls can be total bitches. I mean like really freaking cruel. Is there some sort of gifted and talented program at the school that she could get involved with? Kids tend to keep up with their potential when they're surrounded by other people who think that good grades and learning are cool.

[Clandestino]

being a nerd is not cool... being smart is cool. once she learns to say funny shit back she will be smart and look cool. then the dumb kids will pick on someone else.

[2Blonde]

Having read your views over the years about what you will and will not allow your girls to do, I think it's a pretty valid assumption that, because of those rules, at some point your daughters will be subjected to ridicule of some form. Is it right? No! But, it is pretty much guaranteed that when you stress grades and don't allow your daughters to partake in any of the societal norms that their peers do (ie..shaving, plucking, waxing, nail polish, makeup, etc.), then they will get teased at some point. You just have to make sure that teaching them to be strong and believe in themselves is also in your arsenal.
I believe it's wrong to tease any child. But I also know that things I believe in, often cause torment for my daughter when she's with a group at school that has been taught something different by their parents. You made the decision to to raise them a certain way and eventually the parameters you set up will get challenged by other kids. Trust that you are doing it for their long term good and that short term ribbing is not important. They will be stronger for it.

[jack sommerset]

The answer is simple.

Smart people make good money. (Surely she can cite a name these kids are familar with)

So they can make fun of her all she wants while they clean her mansion and wax her Lambo.

You need to give her a line to drop.

"I'd rather be a nerd like Bill Gates and drive a Ferarri then be cool and drive a Neon"

make sure she brings up a car that one of the kids parents have so they feel poor and stupid.


But the kid is a Chalupa. Kind of blows that theory

[Avitus1]

Everyone that age wants to be cool nowadays, just look at what they watch and the people on those shows. I hate to sound like an old bastard but MTV has fallen to the wayside seems to show petty mother fuckers on that show. These are some of the reasons why people start worrying about "coolness" so early now.

Though joke will be on them. Just insure her that the people who are cool can work on TV but the "Nerds" who are smart will be signing their checks.

[I. Hustle]

http://www.simpsoncrazy.com/gallery/images/Milhouse8.gif "I'm not a nerd Bart... nerds are smart"

[TDMVPDPOY]

hey you should be grateful that ppl are noticing ur childs talent, whether he/she is a prodigy/nerd or not, but its always best to be known as the best out of ur year lvl or school. Just make sure dont hang out with the wrong crowd and shit, cause peer pressure and stuff can turn ur life upside down.

i remember i was top3 student from grade 1-6 aka primary school, 7-10 top5 aka secondary...college i fuckd up cause everything got to easy and i stop doing homework and decline in grades etc.....hanging out with the wrong ppl doesnt help, mainly gang bangers and junkies.

ps. you know when you go do tests before enrolling into a new school, they want to put the bright students into one class and scatter the rest around....most of my secondary highschool classes were filled with bright students, from school captains, sport team leaders, nerds, sci-fi nerds.....and a few dumbshits who was allowed to sit at the back and read newspapers if they are not interested, as long they dont interrupt the students. Competition is good, makes you wanna excel to be the best in ur class.

[manufor3]

i feel ya bro. i make good grades and i wonder why it isnt cool to make good grades. another thing i hate is that people think that if you wear glasses your a nerd. where the heck did that come from?

[mookie2001]

kicking up dust is a must

[chode_regulator]

I never really considerd someone a nerd based on just book smarts alone. It was more teh whole package taht was looked into. Of course that was just bc i was the smartest person in my class. Next to 4cc. :downspin:

It does seem like though that there is a ton of pressure on kids these days, younger and younger. I feel bad for my unborn child already. :(

[MiamiHeat]

It's horrible that this 'cool = failure' mentality has gotten into our schools

[thispego]

I never really considerd someone a nerd based on just book smarts alone. It was more teh whole package taht was looked into. Of course that was just bc i was the smartest person in my class. Next to 4cc. :downspin:

It does seem like though that there is a ton of pressure on kids these days, younger and younger. I feel bad for my unborn child already. :(


I don't care if you think I'm cool or not. That's what makes me cool right?

[johnsmith]

I'd let her know that it's worrying about being cool rather then your grades that led her Daddy to what he is now.

[Drachen]

Having read your views over the years about what you will and will not allow your girls to do, I think it's a pretty valid assumption that, because of those rules, at some point your daughters will be subjected to ridicule of some form. Is it right? No! But, it is pretty much guaranteed that when you stress grades and don't allow your daughters to partake in any of the societal norms that their peers do (ie..shaving, plucking, waxing, nail polish, makeup, etc.), then they will get teased at some point. You just have to make sure that teaching them to be strong and believe in themselves is also in your arsenal.
I believe it's wrong to tease any child. But I also know that things I believe in, often cause torment for my daughter when she's with a group at school that has been taught something different by their parents. You made the decision to to raise them a certain way and eventually the parameters you set up will get challenged by other kids. Trust that you are doing it for their long term good and that short term ribbing is not important. They will be stronger for it.

WOAH! Did I miss something? I thought he said his daughter was 9! Plucking, shaving, make up? You have to be kidding me. This is in no way a societal norm (even today) for a 4th grader. If there are parents out there allowing there daughters (or just not paying attention to them) to do these things at that age, I feel sorry for them and their daughters. Taking aside all of the reasons a 9 year old doesn't need to worry about her attractiveness and sexuality, give the kids a chance to be a damn kid. You are not there to be their friend first, and let them do what they want, you are there to be a parent first. I applaud the OP if he doesn't allow his daughter to do these things. I think it's sad that applause is even necessary since it should just be "the way things are." Anyway, off my soap box, back to raising daughters.

[manufor3]

I'd let her know that it's worrying about being cool rather then your grades that led her Daddy to what he is now.

:lol:lol:lol

[SpursFanFirst]

She's only 9. Are kids this young already into looking "cool" and making fun of those who are succeeding?

I don't think any of us can really comprehend what kids these days are "into."
At 9, my cousins' kids (daughters) were already worried about their weight - and they're both thin and athletic. :spless:

[Spurminator]

Could be worse. At least they're not calling her a slut. :)

[2centsworth]

Daddy has already threatened the neighbors, teachers, principals and scared most kids. Nobody Fs with my kid.

[JoeChalupa]

I had her read some of the responses and I told her she has the support of the ST family and she loved it. She went back to school today with a bright smile and all the confidence in the world. :tu

[JoeChalupa]

I'd let her know that it's worrying about being cool rather then your grades that led her Daddy to what he is now.

Brahahahahahaha!!! :lmao

[ORION]

My daughter gets teased because she doesn't drop the F-bomb on a regular basis. She has had a girl in her class cuss her out for sitting on "her" swing. she tells me and I just tell her that she is the girl that will get pregnant before she enters high school, so she ignore her

[Blake]

my 5 year old is already worried about what she is wearing to school. She can't have any writing or pictures on her shirts because the other kids make fun of her if she wears a Disney Princess logo.

Wth is up with kindergarten nowadays? I wore Sears Toughskin jeans back in kindergarten and liked it.

[mrsmaalox]

Daddy has already threatened the neighbors, teachers, principals and scared most kids. Nobody Fs with my kid.

Now that's a good way to make sure your kid is ostracized.

[I. Hustle]

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e381/beepem/nerdgirl.jpgIs this her?

[JoeChalupa]

my 5 year old is already worried about what she is wearing to school. She can't have any writing or pictures on her shirts because the other kids make fun of her if she wears a Disney Princess logo.

Wth is up with kindergarten nowadays? I wore Sears Toughskin jeans back in kindergarten and liked it.

I like the uniform look myself. Works great and we like it. Oh, and Disney rocks!!

[Dex]

Being ridiculed builds character.

[2centsworth]

Now that's a good way to make sure your kid is ostracized.

it was a joke.

[JoeChalupa]

I still don't get why kids so young can be so cruel. Aren't parents teaching their kids good morals anymore?

[Blake]

I like the uniform look myself. Works great and we like it. Oh, and Disney rocks!!

Man, I could not be any more pro uniform but the public schools that mandate are few and far between and mostly done at the middle school level.

I'm seriously considering sticking my kid in a private school, even if it means I have to pull a Dave Ramsey and eat Ramen noodles for a month.

[Blake]

it was a joke.

you're a nerd

[mrsmaalox]

it was a joke.

:wtf Next time add one of these :lol or :lmao so I know!!!! Sheesh.

[JoeChalupa]

Being ridiculed builds character.

It can also create murders. Yeah, I know that is extreme but I was watching 48 hours - hard evidence and saw the one about the red headed kid who killed a 5 yr old cause he was teased and ridiculed so much that he snapped.

[I Love Me Some Me]

I still don't get why kids so young can be so cruel. Aren't parents teaching their kids good morals anymore?

It's crazy how mean-spirited kids are.

My kids go to an after-school care program at a neighborhood daycare, and there's an autistic boy. Most of the kids are so mean to him...they pick on him, don't let him play games...they just go out of their way to make his life miserable. My daughter and my son (I'm so proud of them for this) have really taken a liking to him, and go out of their way to play with him and make sure he's not being mistreated (the teachers do it too). My daughter came home crying one day, not because of what they did to her, but because of how mean the kids are to the autistic boy.

[ORION]

I still don't get why kids so young can be so cruel. Aren't parents teaching their kids good morals anymore?

very few. Its a small town so you know parents because of various activities and I'm not surprised that some of these girls can make a hooker blush

[mrsmaalox]

It's crazy how mean-spirited kids are.

My kids go to an after-school care program at a neighborhood daycare, and there's an autistic boy. Most of the kids are so mean to him...they pick on him, don't let him play games...they just go out of their way to make his life miserable. My daughter and my son (I'm so proud of them for this) have really taken a liking to him, and go out of their way to play with him and make sure he's not being mistreated (the teachers do it too). My daughter came home crying one day, not because of what they did to her, but because of how mean the kids are to the autistic boy.

Very sad. That reminds me of when my son was in 3rd grade (he's 14 now) his school had a program where 2 or 3 kids from the Special Needs class were partnered with another kid from one of the mainstream classes. My son was selected to be a partner and was fine with it; they had classes, recess and lunch together one day each week. It was a total surprise at the end of the year when the mom of my son's partner gave the class a party in my son's honor; she was so grateful. Apparently her poor kid had never had any other student actually be nice to him!

[JoeChalupa]

It's crazy how mean-spirited kids are.

My kids go to an after-school care program at a neighborhood daycare, and there's an autistic boy. Most of the kids are so mean to him...they pick on him, don't let him play games...they just go out of their way to make his life miserable. My daughter and my son (I'm so proud of them for this) have really taken a liking to him, and go out of their way to play with him and make sure he's not being mistreated (the teachers do it too). My daughter came home crying one day, not because of what they did to her, but because of how mean the kids are to the autistic boy.

:tu That is awesome.

[JoeChalupa]

Very sad. That reminds me of when my son was in 3rd grade (he's 14 now) his school had a program where 2 or 3 kids from the Special Needs class were partnered with another kid from one of the mainstream classes. My son was selected to be a partner and was fine with it; they had classes, recess and lunch together one day each week. It was a total surprise at the end of the year when the mom of my son's partner gave the class a party in my son's honor; she was so grateful. Apparently her poor kid had never had any other student actually be nice to him!

My daughter has also been partnered with another student to help with reading and spelling. She got a small token of appreciation from him for Christmas. It was very sweet.

[BacktoBasics]

It's crazy how mean-spirited kids are.

My kids go to an after-school care program at a neighborhood daycare, and there's an autistic boy. Most of the kids are so mean to him...they pick on him, don't let him play games...they just go out of their way to make his life miserable. My daughter and my son (I'm so proud of them for this) have really taken a liking to him, and go out of their way to play with him and make sure he's not being mistreated (the teachers do it too). My daughter came home crying one day, not because of what they did to her, but because of how mean the kids are to the autistic boy.So the teachers treat this kid poorly? How? What do they do? Have you said anything? I don't think I could keep my mouth shut if I knew a grown adult was mistreating a child autistic or not.

[I Love Me Some Me]

So the teachers treat this kid poorly? How? What do they do? Have you said anything? I don't think I could keep my mouth shut if I knew a grown adult was mistreating a child autistic or not.

Yeah, I called the office immediately. I think it's kind of stopped a little bit. The mistreatment is nothing physical, but more in the passive way they just allow the other kids to do it. In fact, one of the teachers actually was laughing along with the kids. They don't do anything to ensure that he (the autistic kid) gets equal time on the video games/computers.

[ORION]

So the teachers treat this kid poorly? How? What do they do? Have you said anything? I don't think I could keep my mouth shut if I knew a grown adult was mistreating a child autistic or not.

I think he meant the teacher protects the child....at least I hope so

[Drachen]

It can also create murders. Yeah, I know that is extreme but I was watching 48 hours - hard evidence and saw the one about the red headed kid who killed a 5 yr old cause he was teased and ridiculed so much that he snapped.


Jeremy spoke in class today.

Look I tried to be cool all through elementary, and I guess I was a little at the Catholic school I went to, then when I went to public school in 4th grade, I wasnt. Anyway, I got to junior high and about halfway through my first year in JH (7th grade), I decided that being cool is too much work for me, and decided to just be a dork. That is what I am, it came much more natural to me. Did I take "heat" from the "cool" kids? Yeah, a little, but since I wasn't trying to be cool, I took a lot less since I was around them less and when I took it, I really didn't care, because my group of friends were what were important to me. It was really strange because once I got to the end of high school, I was one of the most popular kids at my school (granted it was a small school).

Joe, I hope your daughter can have such an epiphany earlier than I did because it really changed my entire world view and everything became a lot easier.

[CuckingFunt]

I still don't get why kids so young can be so cruel. Aren't parents teaching their kids good morals anymore?

This implies that their parents have good morals to start with.

[BacktoBasics]

Yeah, I called the office immediately. I think it's kind of stopped a little bit. The mistreatment is nothing physical, but more in the passive way they just allow the other kids to do it. In fact, one of the teachers actually was laughing along with the kids. They don't do anything to ensure that he (the autistic kid) gets equal time on the video games/computers.I don't think I would be capable of keeping myself from a face to face confrontation with that teacher.

[JoeChalupa]

This implies that their parents have good morals to start with.

That is a true statement.

[JoeChalupa]

Jeremy spoke in class today.

Look I tried to be cool all through elementary, and I guess I was a little at the Catholic school I went to, then when I went to public school in 4th grade, I wasnt. Anyway, I got to junior high and about halfway through my first year in JH (7th grade), I decided that being cool is too much work for me, and decided to just be a dork. That is what I am, it came much more natural to me. Did I take "heat" from the "cool" kids? Yeah, a little, but since I wasn't trying to be cool, I took a lot less since I was around them less and when I took it, I really didn't care, because my group of friends were what were important to me. It was really strange because once I got to the end of high school, I was one of the most popular kids at my school (granted it was a small school).

Joe, I hope your daughter can have such an epiphany earlier than I did because it really changed my entire world view and everything became a lot easier.

Yeah, I never could pull off the being cool because I was a very skinny, big eared, black frame glasses wearing kid. It did change once I got a job in HS and worked with some of the hot babes who got to know me which helped me socially but I never really cared since I knew who my true friends were. I'm sure she'll be just fine.

[angel_luv]

Jeremy spoke in class today.

Look I tried to be cool all through elementary, and I guess I was a little at the Catholic school I went to, then when I went to public school in 4th grade, I wasnt. Anyway, I got to junior high and about halfway through my first year in JH (7th grade), I decided that being cool is too much work for me, and decided to just be a dork. That is what I am, it came much more natural to me. Did I take "heat" from the "cool" kids? Yeah, a little, but since I wasn't trying to be cool, I took a lot less since I was around them less and when I took it, I really didn't care, because my group of friends were what were important to me. It was really strange because once I got to the end of high school, I was one of the most popular kids at my school (granted it was a small school).

Joe, I hope your daughter can have such an epiphany earlier than I did because it really changed my entire world view and everything became a lot easier.


I agree with this.

I got made fun of quite a bit in middle school/ junior high.

In retrospect, the teasing only was for about a two year period, but it seemed MUCH longer than that and WAY more serious at the time.

I had the type epiphany Drachen described early in the eighth grade. It was the beginning the process of my learning to understand that no one is ever going to be 100 % pleasing to everyone.

I have been generally well liked and accepted for the most part of my life. While, for the most part, that has been a blessing, because I am used to being liked, I have sometimes taken it too hard when someone disliked me.

Life for me has been a continuous process of deciding priorities and discerning what really matters and who my real friends are.


Once I made peace with the facts that 1) I am a nerd ( have a quirky personality and sense of humor) and 2) have chia pet hair ( it grows to Diana Ross proportions in the humidity :lol) I was able to embrace those aspects of myself, so much so that I now consider my "oddities" to be my X-factors.

It helped me so much that my dad constantly told me that I was beautiful and that his daily advice to me was: " Don't let them get to you."


Joe: If I could offer any advice to your daughter it would be allow herself to be all God has made her to be and steadfastly disregard all comments and suggestions that interferes with her true purpose.

All the best to your daughter, Joe. :)

[mrsmaalox]

So the teachers treat this kid poorly? How? What do they do? Have you said anything? I don't think I could keep my mouth shut if I knew a grown adult was mistreating a child autistic or not.

My best friend is a Special Ed teacher at one of the school districts here in SA. She went back to work after being off several years to be with her boys; she also just completed her Master's degree last month. This is her 3rd year with this school district and she's now involved in a peer review of another Special Ed. teacher whose contract is unlikely to be renewed next year. This is the 3rd teacher in 3 years that she has forced the school district to make go away! And it's because the teachers were all blatantly emotionally abusive to the students. In the first case the teacher was actually witholding meals from an autistic student who did not complete his work! And the worst part is the administrators knew about for years, but never did anything about it. So now she's come in and had to make threats to the highest levels to get rid of these people. Needless to say she is not very popular at her school, but the kids love her!

[BacktoBasics]

I agree with this.

I got made fun of quite a bit in middle school/ junior high.

In retrospect, the teasing only was for about a two year period, but it seemed MUCH longer than that and WAY more serious at the time.

I had the type epiphany Drachen described early in the eighth grade. It was the beginning the process of my learning to understand that no one is ever going to be 100 % pleasing to everyone.

I have been generally well liked and accepted for the most part of my life. While, for the most part, that has been a blessing, because I am used to being liked, I have sometimes taken it too hard when someone disliked me.

Life for me has been a continuous process of deciding priorities and discerning what really matters and who my real friends are.


Once I made peace with the facts that 1) I am a nerd ( have a quirky personality and sense of humor) and 2) have chia pet hair ( it grows to Diana Ross proportions in the humidity :lol) I was able to embrace those aspects of myself, so much so that I now consider my "oddities" to be my X-factors.

It helped me so much that my dad constantly told me that I was beautiful and that his daily advice to me was: " Don't let them get to you."


Joe: If I could offer any advice to your daughter it would be allow herself to be all God has made her to be and steadfastly disregard all comments and suggestions that interferes with her true purpose.

All the best to your daughter, Joe. :)


A lot of words to simply say kids were mean until my boobs came in.


My best friend is a Special Ed teacher at one of the school districts here in SA. She went back to work after being off several years to be with her boys; she also just completed her Master's degree last month. This is her 3rd year with this school district and she's now involved in a peer review of another Special Ed. teacher whose contract is unlikely to be renewed next year. This is the 3rd teacher in 3 years that she has forced the school district to make go away! And it's because the teachers were all blatantly emotionally abusive to the students. In the first case the teacher was actually witholding meals from an autistic student who did not complete his work! And the worst part is the administrators knew about for years, but never did anything about it. So now she's come in and had to make threats to the highest levels to get rid of these people. Needless to say she is not very popular at her school, but the kids love her!How is this so. How is someone not popular when they're trying to improve the system.

I cringe at the idea of homeschooling kids in their teens but I'm almost forced to consider it with how bad things are.

[I Love Me Some Me]

I don't think I would be capable of keeping myself from a face to face confrontation with that teacher.

We had a brief one, but not really confrontation. Just me telling him to get himself in check. Didn't really give him the opportunity to respond, since I wasn't all that interested in hearing what he had to say.

[desflood]

How is this so. How is someone not popular when they're trying to improve the system.
Read a book or two by John Taylor Gatto someday. The higher-ups don't necessarily want the system to be improved (and they don't want you to know that either).

[JoeChalupa]

I agree with this.

I got made fun of quite a bit in middle school/ junior high.

In retrospect, the teasing only was for about a two year period, but it seemed MUCH longer than that and WAY more serious at the time.

I had the type epiphany Drachen described early in the eighth grade. It was the beginning the process of my learning to understand that no one is ever going to be 100 % pleasing to everyone.

I have been generally well liked and accepted for the most part of my life. While, for the most part, that has been a blessing, because I am used to being liked, I have sometimes taken it too hard when someone disliked me.

Life for me has been a continuous process of deciding priorities and discerning what really matters and who my real friends are.


Once I made peace with the facts that 1) I am a nerd ( have a quirky personality and sense of humor) and 2) have chia pet hair ( it grows to Diana Ross proportions in the humidity :lol) I was able to embrace those aspects of myself, so much so that I now consider my "oddities" to be my X-factors.

It helped me so much that my dad constantly told me that I was beautiful and that his daily advice to me was: " Don't let them get to you."


Joe: If I could offer any advice to your daughter it would be allow herself to be all God has made her to be and steadfastly disregard all comments and suggestions that interferes with her true purpose.

All the best to your daughter, Joe. :)

Thank you. She knows God loves her.

[angel_luv]

A lot of words to simply say kids were mean until my boobs came in.



:lol then people would have been mean to me until I was 22 or so. :lol

[td4mvp21]

Kids are mean. I went to a private school and I was in the "in-crowd" and we were horrible to people we thought were nerdy or weird (in reality we were all weird private school kids). I really regret it but that's how kids are. There was one kid in particular who we teased relentlessly from 3rd to 4th grade and he ended up leaving. Everyone teased that kid-about his hair, about his glasses, about the way he walked, the way he talked, what he talked about. We would even come up with plans to make him cry! We were mean. People ended up making fun of me freshman year in high school so I think that was karma :lol

[2Blonde]

Joe,
I'm glad your daughter was able to take something positive away from this thread. She is going to be a much stronger person for it in the end. We all want our children to be comfortable with who they are meant to be in life and you are pro-actively helping that process in your girls.:toast

[I. Hustle]

When I was in 6th grade I was the short chubby kid that got picked on alot, then the summer between 6th and 7th came around and I stretched and was no longer chubby. I started hanging out with a certain group, grew my hair out, wore polo, guess, girbaud, and z. cavaricci (all stuff that I found at thrift stores and yard sales ssshhhhhh) and hooked up with a popular chick just because she was popular. After that I never looked back as far as my middle school/highschool years went.

[purist]

this has been going on a long time. I'm mid 40ish and it was happening when I was a kid, but especially from fellow hispanic classmates.

back then it was more of "if you try in school or try to better yourself, your trying to be white." Really, it seems to me that the attitude stems from an inferiority complex that is fostered among some cultures.

It's easier to rationalize faillure by painting success as "nerdy" or "being an oreo," or whatever.

[Slomo]

I still don't get why kids so young can be so cruel. Aren't parents teaching their kids good morals anymore?

The cruelty of young kids is something I was totally unprepared for. I seriously thought it was an issue that started in the teen years - boy was I wrong.
We have a 9 year old daughter and last year was really rough on her mainly because she wouldn't submit to the whims of a classmate. As a result that little bitch made up all sorts of rumours about my daughter and regularly told her how she would make her life miserable for ever. We talked about it a lot and she slowly realized that good friends don't behave like that and she finally told her she didn't care about her. At the end of the year most of the kids in her class were on my daughter's side and it became a lot easier - but it was a hard thing to do/understand for an 8 year old.


This implies that their parents have good morals to start with.

:lol I seriously laughed at your post because I pictured some (OK it's a minority - but still) of the parents at the parent-teacher meetings. The most disgusting thing is the apathy with which parents attend those meetings. They're fine with everything, never ask questions and never challenge anything that is said. I'm one of only two parents that regularly ask questions, and I can see them rolling they're eyes when I do.

[smeagol]

Stupid mean kids are usually raised by stupid, uninterested parents.

[Jekka]

Stupid mean kids are usually raised by stupid, uninterested parents.

This is true a lot of the times, but I spent middle school in a magnet program (part of a larger inner-city middle school that in itself embodied what you're talking about) that was overrun by helicopter parents, and some of those kids were horribly mean. I think it's just that age and more about insecurities, which can still happen with intelligent, interested parents who are just misguided. Put too much pressure on any kid and they will seek to let it out on someone else.

[TDMVPDPOY]

all those students expecially the nerds know if they arent getting any during school, just wait till ur out of the education system and working in a high paying job when ur successful.....you dont need to do shit to the ladies, they will come crawling to you.

[JoeChalupa]

I believe it all starts from home. Teach your kids to have respect for others but YOU must show respect. They learn from your behavior.

[manufor3]

I believe it all starts from home. Teach your kids to have respect for others but YOU must show respect. They learn from your behavior.

thank you.

[spurster]

The distain for intellect starts at the top in the US.