desflood
02-10-2009, 02:21 PM
If a nuclear bomb is coming, try hiding in the fridge. -Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
An unlimited amount of explosives are readily available to your average Gotham City psychopath. -The Dark Knight
Playing a character with a mental disability may give you a shot at an Oscar, but beware of crossing over to Full Retard. -Tropic Thunder
If there's one thing high school girls love, it's knowing that you've been sneaking into their rooms to watch them sleep. And if there's one thing vampires love, it's Xtreme Baseball. -Twilight
Many people believe that the world must end for their saviors to return, and some of those people have nukes. -Religulous
If you're having a hard time finding your drunk gal-pal, check her favorite vomit spots. -Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist
Don't keep your kinky photographs in a safety deposit box. -The Bank Job
If you grow up in New Orleans, nobody really notices if you look 70 years old before even starting school (or even requires that you attend school at all). -The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Morbidly obese women can dance just as elegantly as skinny chicks can. -Get Smart
You should always tip your Chinese food delivery man generously, no matter what. You have no idea what he's going through. -Take Out
Girls go crazy for guys with shaped eyebrows. -High School Musical 3: Senior Year
Cell phone service in the Yucutan jungle is spotty at best. -The Ruins
When taking pictures in a photo booth, the best prop is a cheap plastic jungle animal. -Nights and Weekends
All the technology in the world can't save you if it's just too freaking cold. -Iron Man
There's a New York City street surprisingly wide enough to accommodate the Statue of Liberty's head. -Cloverfield
The greatest blackjack team ever assembled waited until the day they arrived in Las Vegas to finally talk about etiquette and rules. -21
Rednecks love having their pictures taken while pretending to punch the Rocky Balboa statue in Philadelphia. -Baby Mama
If you plan to start a revolution in Bolivia, don't leave your asthma medication at home. -Che
Inhabited Antarctica has all the charm of a minimum-security prison. -Encounters at the End of the World
When traveling through Russia, avoid everyone. -Transsiberian
Richard Nixon received $600,000 for his interview with David Frost. -Frost/Nixon
It's a bad idea to start your 12-step program on the same weekend as your sister's wedding. -Rachel Getting Married
Sean Penn sneaks in to see his own movies. -What Just Happened
A messenger will come to your home to notify you of winning a MacArthur genius grant. -Synecdoche, New York
The late screenwriter Dalton Trumbo had some of the best facial hair short of the original lineup of The Band. -Trumbo
Some grocery stores have comment boxes. These comments are taken with utmost seriousness. -The Promotion
When playing the piano, make your fingers into tunnels. -The Visitor
What wrestling has been telling us all these years is true: The morbidly obese can destroy finely honed fighters. -Kung Fu Panda
No matter how many holes you put in a Narnian they do not bleed. -Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Remember that time you smoked pot in college and wondered if our galaxy was just an atom in an even larger galaxy? You were right! -Horton Hears a Who!
If you're a child star and quit a popular TV show you can take one piece of studio property (your choice) with you back to the farm. -Bolt
Robots are capable of love. But just like that hot girl in high school the sexy robots will pick the emo loser who loves a plant. -WALL-E
Just because a guy spews racial epithets like a bigot on speed doesn't mean he isn't a humanitarian deep down. -Gran Torino
A man who falls into a glass grinder can survive and have his face restored (albeit with some cool scars). -Punisher: War Zone
Cops don't care which missing boy they return to a desperate mother as long as the kid fits the general description. -Changeling
Most teenage girls are prostitutes. -The Babysitters
It is ill-advised to bring super glue on spring break. -Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild
An unlimited amount of explosives are readily available to your average Gotham City psychopath. -The Dark Knight
Playing a character with a mental disability may give you a shot at an Oscar, but beware of crossing over to Full Retard. -Tropic Thunder
If there's one thing high school girls love, it's knowing that you've been sneaking into their rooms to watch them sleep. And if there's one thing vampires love, it's Xtreme Baseball. -Twilight
Many people believe that the world must end for their saviors to return, and some of those people have nukes. -Religulous
If you're having a hard time finding your drunk gal-pal, check her favorite vomit spots. -Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist
Don't keep your kinky photographs in a safety deposit box. -The Bank Job
If you grow up in New Orleans, nobody really notices if you look 70 years old before even starting school (or even requires that you attend school at all). -The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Morbidly obese women can dance just as elegantly as skinny chicks can. -Get Smart
You should always tip your Chinese food delivery man generously, no matter what. You have no idea what he's going through. -Take Out
Girls go crazy for guys with shaped eyebrows. -High School Musical 3: Senior Year
Cell phone service in the Yucutan jungle is spotty at best. -The Ruins
When taking pictures in a photo booth, the best prop is a cheap plastic jungle animal. -Nights and Weekends
All the technology in the world can't save you if it's just too freaking cold. -Iron Man
There's a New York City street surprisingly wide enough to accommodate the Statue of Liberty's head. -Cloverfield
The greatest blackjack team ever assembled waited until the day they arrived in Las Vegas to finally talk about etiquette and rules. -21
Rednecks love having their pictures taken while pretending to punch the Rocky Balboa statue in Philadelphia. -Baby Mama
If you plan to start a revolution in Bolivia, don't leave your asthma medication at home. -Che
Inhabited Antarctica has all the charm of a minimum-security prison. -Encounters at the End of the World
When traveling through Russia, avoid everyone. -Transsiberian
Richard Nixon received $600,000 for his interview with David Frost. -Frost/Nixon
It's a bad idea to start your 12-step program on the same weekend as your sister's wedding. -Rachel Getting Married
Sean Penn sneaks in to see his own movies. -What Just Happened
A messenger will come to your home to notify you of winning a MacArthur genius grant. -Synecdoche, New York
The late screenwriter Dalton Trumbo had some of the best facial hair short of the original lineup of The Band. -Trumbo
Some grocery stores have comment boxes. These comments are taken with utmost seriousness. -The Promotion
When playing the piano, make your fingers into tunnels. -The Visitor
What wrestling has been telling us all these years is true: The morbidly obese can destroy finely honed fighters. -Kung Fu Panda
No matter how many holes you put in a Narnian they do not bleed. -Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Remember that time you smoked pot in college and wondered if our galaxy was just an atom in an even larger galaxy? You were right! -Horton Hears a Who!
If you're a child star and quit a popular TV show you can take one piece of studio property (your choice) with you back to the farm. -Bolt
Robots are capable of love. But just like that hot girl in high school the sexy robots will pick the emo loser who loves a plant. -WALL-E
Just because a guy spews racial epithets like a bigot on speed doesn't mean he isn't a humanitarian deep down. -Gran Torino
A man who falls into a glass grinder can survive and have his face restored (albeit with some cool scars). -Punisher: War Zone
Cops don't care which missing boy they return to a desperate mother as long as the kid fits the general description. -Changeling
Most teenage girls are prostitutes. -The Babysitters
It is ill-advised to bring super glue on spring break. -Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild