NeoConIV
03-05-2005, 02:24 AM
It looks like Iran could be next on the list for getting "democratic reforms," if you know what I mean. Thus, I had my crack research staff find out all they can about the country.
:elephant FUN FACTS ABOUT IRAN :elephant
* Iran is part of the Axis of Evil along with North Korea and Diet Pepsi.
* Iraq was once part of the Axis of Evil but is now part of the Axis of Happy Fun Democracies.
* According to the CIA World Factbook, Iran is slightly larger than Alaska. Who the hell do they think they are? Well, a few bombs should take care of that.
* Iran is one of the leaders in state sponsored terrorism, helping Hezbollah, Hamas, and the ACLU.
* We have sanctions against them because of that, but most of the radical Islamists don't want a Big Mouth Billy Bass anyway.
* The main diet of Iranians is canned corn and grape soda as dictated in the Koran.
* Iran was taken over by an evil Ayatollah and the clerics in 1979 while taking a number of Americans hostages. Carter, the most inept world leader in the history of mankind, handled this ineptly, but the hostages were still released when Reagan took office.
* Iran pretends to have democracy, but is really ruled by Iran's clerics. The advantage is, if you think you messed up on the butterfly ballot, it doesn't really matter.
* Many of the youth in Iran desire real democratic reforms. Those crazy punk kids and their desire for democratic reforms.
* When the dictatorship is finally toppled, the clerics will probably exclaim, "We would have gotten away with our theocratic, Islamic rule if it weren't for you meddling kids!"
* Because of the supreme Islamic rule, if you suspect you are in Iran, whatever you do, don't piss on a Koran.
* In a fight between Aquaman and Iran, Aquaman would get taken hostage and have to be rescued by the other Super Friends as usual... unless they finally got tired of rescuing his ass.
* Iran, much like Japan, rhymes with Suzanne.
* If you ever find yourself face to face with an Iranian cleric, don't panic. Instead, get him in a headlock and yank on his beard.
* Much like the hippopotamus, Iranian clerics have a four-chambered heart.
* War with Iran would be an easy follow up to Iraq since they're right next to each other and all you'd have to do is change one letter in the war plans.
* Iran has a big military with guns and tanks and planes... oh and bullets for the guns, so fighting them might take a day or two.
* Iran is trying to get their hands on nuclear weapons… but don't worry; we still have like thousands more than them.
* If we have to fight the people from Iran and they retreat - i.e., run - there has to be joke there somewhere.
* No, can't think of any.
http://www.imao.us/archives/cat_know_thy_enemy.html
:elephant FUN FACTS ABOUT IRAN :elephant
* Iran is part of the Axis of Evil along with North Korea and Diet Pepsi.
* Iraq was once part of the Axis of Evil but is now part of the Axis of Happy Fun Democracies.
* According to the CIA World Factbook, Iran is slightly larger than Alaska. Who the hell do they think they are? Well, a few bombs should take care of that.
* Iran is one of the leaders in state sponsored terrorism, helping Hezbollah, Hamas, and the ACLU.
* We have sanctions against them because of that, but most of the radical Islamists don't want a Big Mouth Billy Bass anyway.
* The main diet of Iranians is canned corn and grape soda as dictated in the Koran.
* Iran was taken over by an evil Ayatollah and the clerics in 1979 while taking a number of Americans hostages. Carter, the most inept world leader in the history of mankind, handled this ineptly, but the hostages were still released when Reagan took office.
* Iran pretends to have democracy, but is really ruled by Iran's clerics. The advantage is, if you think you messed up on the butterfly ballot, it doesn't really matter.
* Many of the youth in Iran desire real democratic reforms. Those crazy punk kids and their desire for democratic reforms.
* When the dictatorship is finally toppled, the clerics will probably exclaim, "We would have gotten away with our theocratic, Islamic rule if it weren't for you meddling kids!"
* Because of the supreme Islamic rule, if you suspect you are in Iran, whatever you do, don't piss on a Koran.
* In a fight between Aquaman and Iran, Aquaman would get taken hostage and have to be rescued by the other Super Friends as usual... unless they finally got tired of rescuing his ass.
* Iran, much like Japan, rhymes with Suzanne.
* If you ever find yourself face to face with an Iranian cleric, don't panic. Instead, get him in a headlock and yank on his beard.
* Much like the hippopotamus, Iranian clerics have a four-chambered heart.
* War with Iran would be an easy follow up to Iraq since they're right next to each other and all you'd have to do is change one letter in the war plans.
* Iran has a big military with guns and tanks and planes... oh and bullets for the guns, so fighting them might take a day or two.
* Iran is trying to get their hands on nuclear weapons… but don't worry; we still have like thousands more than them.
* If we have to fight the people from Iran and they retreat - i.e., run - there has to be joke there somewhere.
* No, can't think of any.
http://www.imao.us/archives/cat_know_thy_enemy.html