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View Full Version : LMAO messin with the witch...


CosmicCowboy
03-13-2009, 09:16 AM
OK, as some of you that have chatted with me here for awhile know I have a secretary/book keeper that is a real bitch. She is extremely efficient at the accounting, billing, and payroll function but she hates her life, hates her job, and hates us. She gives terrible phone, is rude to us and our customers, and is just a general pain in the ass. She is a running joke with my friends that call me at work...I would have fired her fat ass years ago but my partner didn't want to because she was efficient at the accounting part of her job. She would have quit years ago, except she can't find a job anywhere else with the pay and benefits she gets here, so she just gets her rocks off being a bitch to everyone. She loves to find any small mistake anyone makes and make a big deal out of it...

Anyway, she was off yesterday. She always comes back after being off in an ESPECIALLY foul mood. Today was no exception, but I was ready for her this time.

Before she came in this morning I took a nickel and penny out of my pocket and put them on the floor by her chair. I heard her come in and flop her fat ass down in the chair and then thirty seconds later I heard her heave it back up and she came stomping in to our office...

WHO'S BEEN IN THE PETTY CASH?


(I knew that we didn't have any cash sales yesterday so we could both honestly say that we hadn't been in the petty cash)

SOMEONES BEEN IN THE PETTY CASH!

uhhh....I don't think so....

HARUMP!!!!!

(waddling back to her desk)

She's on her second time balancing petty cash and muttering and cursing to herself trying to prove one of us dropped that six cents on the floor...

:lol
desflood
03-13-2009, 09:22 AM
A pretty good trick, but the only part that jumped out at me was


She gives terrible phone

:lol
BacktoBasics
03-13-2009, 10:50 AM
I'll take her job when she gets canned. I personally have been told that I give solid phone.
1369
03-13-2009, 12:14 PM
Had one of those on a jobsite once. Dare you to put Never Sieze on the handle of her coffee cup.
angel_luv
03-13-2009, 12:16 PM
She has a sixth sense, eh?
mrsmaalox
03-13-2009, 04:22 PM
Anyone else in the office in on the joke? You must be laughing your ass off. Just like she will be when you're answering your own phone for the next week!! :lol
CosmicCowboy
03-13-2009, 04:43 PM
Anyone else in the office in on the joke? You must be laughing your ass off. Just like she will be when you're answering your own phone for the next week!! :lol

hehehe...I try to answer the phone anyway since I'm MUCH nicer than she is...
SpursStalker
03-14-2009, 01:06 PM
:lol

That's hilarious!!
Ed Helicopter Jones
03-14-2009, 01:18 PM
I've abandoned the "hire the most efficient employee regardless of her looks" philosophy, and returned to the JimCS50 philosophy of hiring the hottest woman available.
tlongII
03-14-2009, 02:32 PM
She has a sixth sense, eh?

:rolleyes
angel_luv
03-14-2009, 02:34 PM
:rolleyes

So it was a baaad joke. I'm sheepish about it. Wool you let it go already? :lol
Brutalis
03-14-2009, 02:46 PM
Funny shit right there.
SpursWoman
03-14-2009, 02:48 PM
Nice. :lol
desflood
03-14-2009, 02:49 PM
:lol Damn, Angel.
baseline bum
03-14-2009, 03:22 PM
Sounds like every HR bitch at every company I've ever worked for.
Bigzax
03-14-2009, 04:04 PM
angel's joke was so bad it's good...:lmao
CuckingFunt
03-14-2009, 04:05 PM
Devil's advocate: I wonder perhaps if this woman's attitude would improve if she weren't working in an environment in which she's the butt of everyone's jokes.
CosmicCowboy
03-14-2009, 09:20 PM
Devil's advocate: I wonder perhaps if this woman's attitude would improve if she weren't working in an environment in which she's the butt of everyone's jokes.

Nope

That's the first time I have ever done that and I was the only one that knew what was going on...

And no, I have been sighing her paycheck for twenty years. This is not a hostile work environment. She is just an angry hateful bitch and that's just the way it is. Without gong into a lot of detail she is mainly angry that her second husband that she had aspirations of financial success didn't exactly work out. He is in a related business to ours but he is terminally stupid and she HATES it that we manage to make a reasonable profit from month to month and he doesn't. She thought she would be retired years ago when she hooked up with this loser and it just eats her up that she still has to work.