I have a bit of a dilemma

[Findog]

I work in downtown Dallas doing IT work. It's a very white collar corporate environment. We had a round of layoffs back in December due to the current financial crisis. We actually just picked up a new piece of business, and they've been throwing more and more on my plate. My bosses are generally pleased with the job I'm doing, so I have about as much job security as one could hope for in this current climate. At the same time, they've recently let one help desk and one networking guy loose because of poor performance and attitude problems. There's a definite awareness that if you fuck up or create problems, there's a thick stack of resumes with which to find your replacement. I have this fear and I'm one of the model employees.

There's a very, very attractive lady, I will call her T, in accounting that is three years older than me (Her 34, me 31). She is a divorced single mother of an 8 year old son. In general I would find this woman to be a bit out of my league, and given that she's a coworker, I have never made the slightest approach or move whatsoever. We're in different depts and have had little to no professional interaction.

About a month ago, we had some executives in from NY, and were told to dress up. I wore a suit and tie, and she IM'd me on facebook to tell me I looked nice, and a bit of flirty banter ensued. A couple of weeks later, I did some software installs for all the accounting ladies, including her. One of her colleagues complained about the install, and this networking guy, W, went down there to fix it. He was following up with me, and to make the point that I followed the same procedures every time, I said "Well, I did T, and she's not complaining!" He happens to be very good friends with her, and he laughed bc of the way I phrased it, and said "I'm gonna go tell her you said that."

That night I happen to have facebook up, and she IM's me to say "I heard about no complaints! haha very funny." And then we end up chatting for like 2 hours, with some mild flirting going on. She then lets me know that she'll be out of the office for a few days and that she hopes that I miss her while she's gone. Then the last thing she writes to me is that she's trying to think of something PG to say but can't.

So about a week ago, she still hadn't returned to work from her vacation, and I'm at home. She im's me again and the first thing she says to me is "Miss me yet? :)" And then another hour of conversation and mild flirting goes on. I've seen her twice in the office since then, since I had some vacation hours I had to use or lose. The last time I talked to her, I was heading to the kitchenette break area, and I hear her call my name out. We made some chitchat and I walked back with her since her office is on the way. She ended up expressing interest in joining our bracket competition so I go back to the IT area to grab her a blank bracket. I'm back in her office when the networknig guy W comes in, one of her best work pals. He sees me, and he immediately gets this smirk on his face. I haven't been messaging this lady, it's been the other way around, and I haven't been expressing an interest in joining her bracket, it's been the other way around. For him to smirk like that makes me think they might have discussed me.

The bottom line is that from what I've gotten to know of her from chatting so far, she's a pretty cool lady, and she's HAWT to boot. If there was real interest there, I'd want to pursue it, and I think given that we work in different depts and have historically interacted very little in the office, we could keep it discreet and not be in each other's business all day at work. I don't want an opportunity with somebody like her to slip through my fingers. Women don't stay interested for long if you dither around. On the other hand, I think there's a chance I could be making entirely way too much out of this, and the last thing I want to do is risk my job by creating some awkward situation at work by approaching her. I know from experience that women will often let you pay attention to them if you are willing, even if they have no interest in you. But in general when we talk, she's not complaining about stuff, so I don't feel like that's what she's doing.

I've consulted some female friends, and the best two ideas I've come up with so far are these:

A) on a Thursday, ask her what her Friday happy hour plans are. That gives her plenty of time to find a sitter if she's interested, and by leaving it vague and low key, I can play it off as a misunderstanding and one coworker pal trying to hang out with another coworker pal in the unlikely event she throws the sexual harrassment card in my face.

B) get a group together for a happy hour thing. See to it that she gets an invitation and that she knows I among others will be going. I should not be the one to hand out the invite. If she shows up, don't sit next to her. If she gets up to come talk to me one on one and engages me in this setting, as the theory goes, then that's the confirmation I'll need that she's interested as opposed to just trying to find somebody to pay attention.

I don't know if either of these plans are good though. I know if I do make an approach, I have to be strong and confident, with kind of an indifferent air as to whether or not she's interested. So far I've played it cool and she's generally been the one initiating conversation.

[Destro]

why don't you just be a man and ask her on a date. No need to be passive aggressive and play games...right now you are playing games, If you think she is attractive and you want to date her then ask. She isn't chatting for 2 hours with the ugly guy in the office.

Knowing is half the battle

[DPG21920]

What are your office rules about dating?

[Findog]

[QUOTE=Destro;3221342]why don't you just be a man and ask her on a date.

The coworker angle is the only thing holding me back. I asked myself how would I feel about what she is doing if we weren't coworkers, and I would think that she was probably interested and ask her out. I have a paranoia about dating in the office. She'd be worth it, but I feel like I need to be very careful.

[Findog]

What are your office rules about dating?

I know that they certainly don't encourage it, and I've been on the company website trying to find policies and procedures. And I wonder if it would arouse suspicion if I walked over to HR and asked for a manual.

I also know that there is a couple of married couples at the agencies we support, and I would think there is no need to disclose to HR we met for drinks. If it doesn't go anywhere, there's no need to tell HR anything. I would think in a long down the road hypothetical future where we were seriously dating, we could probably declare it to HR since we would be in different depts and not creating drama in the office.

[DPG21920]

Well, you know your work "culture" better than anyone here, so I would say use your best judgment. Same goes with how you approach her. You should be able to use your instincts to tell you if she is interested. I know it kind of sucks, but you do have to use some level of reserve and discretion when approaching this in the face of the more "sensitive" work environment.

The easiest thing to do would probably be to feel it out a little while longer by keeping it casual. Who knows, she may even ask you out if you just keep the communication going. If after a week or two, you guys have maintained or increased the depth/frequency of your conversations, then it would not hurt to ask her out.

The group thing is a good idea, but if not, you can always suggest things during conversations by slightly leading the convo one way or another. Maybe, at work you if you end up talking to her, you can say something like "I am excited to get off of work, I have plans tonight for ..." She could always say that sounds fun... and you can reply "there is room for whom ever wants to join..."

Just use your best judgment.

[Findog]

Well, you know your work "culture" better than anyone here, so I would say use your best judgment. Same goes with how you approach her. You should be able to use your instincts to tell you if she is interested. I know it kind of sucks, but you do have to use some level of reserve and discretion when approaching this in the face of the more "sensitive" work environment.

The easiest thing to do would probably be to feel it out a little while longer by keeping it casual. Who knows, she may even ask you out if you just keep the communication going. If after a week or two, you guys have maintained or increased the depth/frequency of your conversations, then it would not hurt to ask her out.

The group thing is a good idea, but if not, you can always suggest things during conversations by slightly leading the convo one way or another. Maybe, at work you if you end up talking to her, you can say something like "I am excited to get off of work, I have plans tonight for ..." She could always say that sounds fun... and you can reply "there is room for whom ever wants to join..."

Just use your best judgment.

Thanks. That's good advice. :tu

[tlongII]

I like option B. If you work in different depts it shouldn't be a problem.

[BlackSwordsMan]

I bet she's a laker fan

[Frenzy]

option B seems to be the best bet. However..if it ends badly... oh man..work dating and work breaking up is something you don't wanna do.

adds to stress you already have in the work place 10 fold.

[Yuixafun]

Relax, talk with her a bit in person and give her your full attention. Be yourself and when you catch her in a genuine laugh, and its winding down.. look her in the eyes for as long as you can. If she makes you feel good, let that well up through your body and your eyes. Let it touch your face and smile.

If you feel yourself being drawn to her like a magnet and she leans forward.. and you feel like drowning in the depths of her vision, man.. just let yourself go. Don't turn away.

At that point do what's in your heart..

Why can't you talk be with girl like this, and why shouldn't she show interest in you? Women will only wait for so long..

[MiamiHeat]

You enter the thread
Wall of Text crits you for 900 damage
MiamiHeat has died

[timvp]

She's either interested or has whore-ish tendencies. Either way, sounds like you should be able to win

I'd advise the first plan. Plan B looks good on paper but there's too much that can go wrong. Chances are that something would go wrong and you'd be in the same boat you're in now but even more uncomfortable.

Plan A but make sure you have a few go-to topics to fall back on in case of emergency. Also have a response prepared if she scoffs at your request. And be sure to save any past convos you've had with her in case you need the evidence.

Good luck.





P.S.

All that being said, be sure that dating is allowed. She's obviously in a gossip circle that spans multiple depts so HR will catch wind of your pass within a matter of hours. If that puts your job in jeopardy, M.O.B.

[whottt]

What happened to the girl that was talking to you about giving dudes handjobs? She seemed like a nice girl to me.


Oh as for this one...

If they start saying shit like "did you miss me" when they barely know you, they pretty much want you to ask them out. I mean it's not that hard to figure out.

However...if they start saying shit like "did you miss me" when they barely know you, they pretty much will have high expectations and needs for attention when you do ask them out. It's probably not going to be some laid back deal.


Don't get involved with this one unless you are serious...and even if you are, the attention you are willing to provide may not be enough.

[PM5K]

Also have a response prepared if she scoffs at your request.

Reminds me of that movie Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead, where the guy keeps flirting with the girl and then he plays it off by saying he's just kidding, unless she's interested.

[Rogue]

www.blowmeuptom.com (http://www.blowmeuptom.com)

[Rogue]

Tom Leykis frequently warns male callers to stay away from single mothers. I think marriage isn't only about the husband and the wife, it has a big connotation behind the two persons. to some degree marriage is just like a business IMHO.

According to what I have got from your post, you're in a better financial condition than the single mom. Your job is more consistent than hers and she has to take the burden of raising a boy who is at his naughty age, I mean she has to conpensate dollars to the neighbours after her boy breaks their windows with a baseball or basketball. If you insist to marry her, then I suggest you sign a deal with her that confirms your possessions and hers. I don't want to make a marriage look like a business and we all want to disguise the fact that a marriage is just a business, but it's the solid truth and the true sometimes hurts. I think she won't refuse this requestment if she really loves you, if she refuses it directly or indirectly, that means she loves your wealth more than yourself and it's better for you just to keep the "common friendship" with her. after all you don't have to get married to have a kid and it's even easier to make a home with her than to have a kid with her. So if you guys really loves each other, then you can live together without marriage, it's not very uncommon in CA and I think it isn't quite differet in TX which also used to be a spanish territory.

Besides, you also have to take into consideration the feelings of her 8-year-old boy. Can this boy accept you as his stepfather? Will he treat you as an uncle, a good friend or just a stranger? Falling in love with a woman is different from living with her, love is pure and innocent but the life is not. I know it's still too early to talk about that, I just want to give my suggestions in advance. The risk is not only missing your current job... I think it'll be helpful if you can have a talk with her ex-husband who is also the father of the 8-year-old kid. Of course you don't have to do anything if you just want to have a temporary relationship with her, but marriage is more serious and solemn than love and relationship. It's always meaningful to take serious a marriage, scrutiny is very necessary for a successful marriage. I hope you will finally find you love, God bless.

[leemajors]

:lmao

[tlongII]

Why are people talking about "love" here all of the sudden?

[Findog]

Why are people talking about "love" here all of the sudden?

Rogue is fucking hilarious.

[Findog]

What happened to the girl that was talking to you about giving dudes handjobs? She seemed like a nice girl to me.

She ended up being a colossal waste of time.

[Thunder Dan]

I'm going to need some pictures before I give you my opinion

[Findog]

I'm going to need some pictures before I give you my opinion

Can't do that. Picture a tall, leggy blonde.

[Thunder Dan]

Can't do that. Picture a tall, leggy blonde.

the best way to access the proper protocol is to breakdown a picture


However, if it were me, I'd go for it. I have found that thinking with your head doesn't get you as far as thinking with your dick.I wouldn't bang her on the copier or anything, but I doubt you can get fired for laying it to one of your coworkers after office hours. She probably wants it because she is giving you signals.

Also, stop acting like she is out of your league. She has a kid, which makes her very much in your league. Once a kid is involved a woman drops. I don't say this to be sexist but it's true. There is a large population of men that would run for the hills once they found out there was an 8 year old that would be eating brekfast with you after you bang his mom.

[I Love Me Some Me]

Unless there is a direct-reporting relationship, companies can do NOTHING in their policies to prohibit interpersonal relationships. They may discourage it (as most do), but they cannot prohibit it.

That being said, they discourage it for a good reason. The fact that you've already exchanged flirtatious electronic communication with her is basis enough to create a "hostile work environment" (HR buzzword), even if nothing more ever materializes. Even worse, if something were to happen and end badly.

Tread lightly, my friend.

My suggestion, google "Naughty Office", download one you like, think of this girl, and fap away.

[Spurminator]

I think she's made it pretty clear that she's interested, and this is coming from a guy who has been about as oblivious to that kind of thing as you can get. IMO, she's been so forward about it that if you don't make a move soon, she is going to feel rejected.

I think a group happy hour is a good idea, but I disagree with the idea of not sitting by her or starting a conversation, because she may be waiting for you to do that. With the signs she's been throwing out, I'd say the ball is in your court.

[Findog]

I'd advise the first plan. Plan B looks good on paper but there's too much that can go wrong. Chances are that something would go wrong and you'd be in the same boat you're in now but even more uncomfortable.


The other thing I thought about was that initially you'd want to keep things discreet, assuming mutual interest. Suppose you end up getting into some deep, involved conversation in front of several of your coworkers. People will notice that.

[Spurminator]

Also, I don't know where you're at as far as looking for a good time vs. looking for a potential mate, but make sure you guys are on the same page before you do anything serious. The risk you're taking with her as a coworker isn't that great when you're sleeping together... it's the breaking up part that gets messy.

[Thunder Dan]

she is in your league, have some confidence. Just go at her like you are the catch. I mean when Pam Anderson didn't have kids she was with Tommy Lee, after she had 2 kids, she was with Kid Rock.....

[RandomGuy]

A) on a Thursday, ask her what her Friday happy hour plans are. That gives her plenty of time to find a sitter if she's interested, and by leaving it vague and low key, I can play it off as a misunderstanding and one coworker pal trying to hang out with another coworker pal in the unlikely event she throws the sexual harrassment card in my face.

B) get a group together for a happy hour thing. See to it that she gets an invitation and that she knows I among others will be going. I should not be the one to hand out the invite. If she shows up, don't sit next to her. If she gets up to come talk to me one on one and engages me in this setting, as the theory goes, then that's the confirmation I'll need that she's interested as opposed to just trying to find somebody to pay attention.

I don't know if either of these plans are good though. I know if I do make an approach, I have to be strong and confident, with kind of an indifferent air as to whether or not she's interested. So far I've played it cool and she's generally been the one initiating conversation.

There is a fair chance she is interested. Males tend to overestimate a female's interest (it works for us biologically, but makes us do stooopid things on occasion), but in this case it seems a fair bet that she wouldn't invest so much chat time in someone that she wasn't at least halfway interested in.

If I were you, I would stick to a nice safe plan-A style couple of hours at a fairly quiet, nice restaurant or fairly low-key bar.

She is a grown up, so it is best to keep it from being too loud.

One tip drilled into me by my wife of 14 years:
Women spend a fair amount of effort on their appearance, i.e. shoes, hair, dress, etc, and men will unconsciously note "those shoes look nice" or similar, but often neglect to say anything.

Find something you genuinely like about her outfit and compliment it. No fake-y sucking up, just a nice genuinely-felt compliment.

One possibility:

There is a nice small bbq place near the San Antonio Zoo. I'm not sure it is still there, but you could simply make a date to go to the restaraunt, and if the weather is nice, take a nice walk afterwards. Depending, you could even choose the to see the Zoo. Something like this creates a common experience that can foster a relationship a bit.

Scout around for something like this, i.e. a nice/medium restaurant near a park or other place to take a walk while the weather is nice.

[RandomGuy]

The other thing I thought about was that initially you'd want to keep things discreet, assuming mutual interest. Suppose you end up getting into some deep, involved conversation in front of several of your coworkers. People will notice that.

Agreed. If it is at all frowned upon, and even if it isn't, then this is probably the best way to go. Gossip sucks.

[BacktoBasics]

This thread is weird. If a women asks: Did you miss me or are you missing me. She's calling out for attention and wants to feel wanted. She wants sex. Why is this so complicated. If it develops into something more great if it doesn't great. You won't know until you dip your balls in it.

I would ask her out like a real man. Don't pussy foot around it. Then if the date goes well you might want to bring up the discreet aspect of your jobs to gauge her reaction.

99% of women are attracted to someone forward and direct. Blunt even. Pussy footing around only works with fatties.

[RandomGuy]

Also, I don't know where you're at as far as looking for a good time vs. looking for a potential mate, but make sure you guys are on the same page before you do anything serious. The risk you're taking with her as a coworker isn't that great when you're sleeping together... it's the breaking up part that gets messy.

Agreed.

I wouldn't go for this one unless you were at least willing to think about marriage. You can bet your ass SHE will be keeping that in the back of her head.

Her child complicates her relationships immensely. If you really like her, keep this in mind and any gestures you make that show you understand where she is coming from will be noticed.

Don't suck up to her kid. The kid will know at some level what you are doing, and that isn't healthy for anybody. Be polite, and remember that her child should NOT be your friend. If you really do end up in a serious relationship, you will have the duties and responsibilities of being a father instantly. Always keep that in the back of your head. Fathers are NOT friends. They are teachers, rule-setters, and guides, with the ultimate goal of producing a capable, polite, competant adult.

If you really really like her, and you act like a father (don't push it at first though), she will instinctively know that, and it will strengthen the relationship.

[BacktoBasics]

I think its way to presumptuous to think that a single mother wouldn't want casual sex.

[RandomGuy]

This thread is weird. If a women asks: Did you miss me or are you missing me. She's calling out for attention and wants to feel wanted. She wants sex. Why is this so complicated. If it develops into something more great if it doesn't great. You won't know until you dip your balls in it.

I would ask her out like a real man. Don't pussy foot around it. Then if the date goes well you might want to bring up the discreet aspect of your jobs to gauge her reaction.

99% of women are attracted to someone forward and direct. Blunt even. Pussy footing around only works with fatties.

Good points both.

She could just want to get laid, and it could be as simple as that. Don't assume anything, but keep your eyes open.

Women dig confidence. Don't be an ass, but don't be afraid to be a *little* bit forward at first.

[BacktoBasics]

Good points both.

She could just want to get laid, and it could be as simple as that. Don't assume anything, but keep your eyes open.

Women dig confidence. Don't be an ass, but don't be afraid to be a *little* bit forward at first.At my last job before I met my wife all the women in the office were single moms or on their way to divorce. I slept with 3 out of the 8 available and none of them wanted anything more than a few hours of attention.

I'm all for being cautious with women because most can't be trusted but lets not forget how overly emotional women are....and with that comes stupidity. She seems to want some attention and it seems that she's trying to do that without coming across as the office whore.

Read between the line....or better yet just read whats right in front of you.

[IronMexican]

Hope all works out for you, bro. I'm going through girl problems myself, and I know how much it sucks.

[Blake]

I agree that this thread is weird.

My instinct says that this is a bad idea. I think she pretty clearly sees you as more than just a one night stand.......but if you do just hit and quit on her, you have to see her in the office.

but then again, you may pull off the Jerry Maguire and be a happy guy with her and junior in the end....

I still would say no.

[Blake]

At my last job before I met my wife all the women in the office were single moms or on their way to divorce. I slept with 3 out of the 8 available and none of them wanted anything more than a few hours of attention.


wow, who knew that staring at women's crotches all day actually works....

[E20]

Just make sure she doesn't shoot any unexpected shots. Can't have that happening.

[Findog]

Just make sure she doesn't shoot any unexpected shots. Can't have that happening.

She's just making the pass at me that she's supposed to make. No surprises there.

[baseline bum]

You know where to take her on the first date:

http://www.drunkasaurusrex.com/KFC%20Bowl.jpg

[Findog]

You know where to take her on the first date:

http://www.drunkasaurusrex.com/KFC%20Bowl.jpg

haha...we actually do business with Yum Brands. There are KFC executives in the building today.

[Cry Havoc]

Dude, just walk up to her and compliment her, then ask her out.

Something like, "Listen, I know we've been talking a bit lately"

and then ask her out. Most women will appreciate the straight-forward approach.

[Cry Havoc]

AND FOR CRYING OUT LOUD POST A PICTURE OF THIS FINE LADY!!!!!

If you don't, we'll kill you. Or find out who she is and show her this thread. :lol

[Milton.]

I think you should spend more time trying to get some action and less time wondering what the hell others think. Will it make the experience more pleasurable for you knowing that we are somehow involved simply because we know all the boring details of your pathetic dance around a potential gold mine of uninhibited wild sex? You need to get your priorities straight. That's what I've been told.

[Bigzax]

wear a rubber dude.

[TDMVPDPOY]

tell her you like anal sex, she will definitely go out with you....

[baseline bum]

tell her you like anal sex, she will definitely go out with you....

Does that work for you? Do you offer to buy her the strap-on too?

[RandomGuy]

Does that work for you? Do you offer to buy her the strap-on too?

Oh SNAP!! :lmao

[TDMVPDPOY]

Does that work for you? Do you offer to buy her the strap-on too?

we can start of with the beads for now.....:blah

[Strike]

I wouldn't do it. Too many things can go wrong when coworkers get involved with each other.

If you do, be very careful. Make sure you have a backup plan in case it backfires.

[DisAsTerBot]

wear a rubber dude.

lumberg fucked her...

[angel_luv]

I think a group happy hour is a good idea, but I disagree with the idea of not sitting by her or starting a conversation, because she may be waiting for you to do that. With the signs she's been throwing out, I'd say the ball is in your court.





One tip drilled into me by my wife of 14 years:
Women spend a fair amount of effort on their appearance, i.e. shoes, hair, dress, etc, and men will unconsciously note "those shoes look nice" or similar, but often neglect to say anything.

Find something you genuinely like about her outfit and compliment it. No fake-y sucking up, just a nice genuinely-felt compliment.



:tu I agree.

All the best to you! :)

[TDMVPDPOY]

you can start with the fake compliments....

[Brutalis]

I would just go up to her when it's not very busy and privately ask her to dinner whenever she is available. I have found though the longer you flirt/game/play with a girl and you do not make your move, her interest will decline and you could miss your chance.

However I am only 24. But I've been engaged from a 3 year thing that crashed, and have been through several funny/odd dates and girlfriends since. Grateful for my experiences and the knowledge from it all but at the same time burned out. Seems like everyone I know my age is married or has a kid, somehow I avoided both.

[Findog]

This thread is weird. If a women asks: Did you miss me or are you missing me. She's calling out for attention and wants to feel wanted. She wants sex. Why is this so complicated. If it develops into something more great if it doesn't great. You won't know until you dip your balls in it.

I would ask her out like a real man. Don't pussy foot around it. Then if the date goes well you might want to bring up the discreet aspect of your jobs to gauge her reaction.

99% of women are attracted to someone forward and direct. Blunt even. Pussy footing around only works with fatties.

As I've said, maybe I'm making entirely way too much of the coworker angle, but I would've asked her out already if we weren't. Being "pretty sure" a woman is interested is usually good enough for me to work up the nerve to ask her out. Being "100% dead certain this won't backfire professionally" is the standard for asking out a coworker.

[Findog]

[QUOTE=Brutalis;3222581]I would just go up to her when it's not very busy and privately ask her to dinner whenever she is available. I have found though the longer you flirt/game/play with a girl and you do not make your move, her interest will decline and you could miss your chance.

You're absolutely right that this is how women show interest. They rarely if ever take the lead and ask guys out themselves. Usually they flirt mercilessly to entice you to ask them out, and if you twiddle your thumbs too long, they lose interest and move on.

I don't think the window is passed here, but I'm getting down to crunchtime, and I'm trying to figure out the best way to approach her.

[whottt]

I can tell you right now that you are way overanalyzing it and too worried about covering your ass. Just ask the chick out if you like her...the worst thing she can say is no. If she gets offended and reports it, they aren't going to fire you over asking her out, they'll just warn you, unless you are a really bad employee or they are total assholes. And if they are that big of assholes you are better off working elsewhere.

It's a certainty that if you ask women out, eventually you will get turned down...so why worry about it? There's only one way to find out if she'll say yes.

[whottt]

You're absolutely right that this is how women show interest. They rarely if ever take the lead and ask guys out themselves. Usually they flirt mercilessly to entice you to ask them out, and if you twiddle your thumbs too long, they lose interest and move on.

The ones that take the lead and are real aggressive are usually the biggest bitches. Not if they are doing it on a lark or something...but if it's a general rule that they are aggressive they are pretty much like men, about control and power, and out to screw as many guys as possible. These are the girls that go through like 14 boyfriends a year in highschool. While it may seem flattering for some woman to come on to you aggressively like that...it's really more about them than it is about you...generally speaking.

[Yuixafun]

As I've said, maybe I'm making entirely way too much of the coworker angle, but I would've asked her out already if we weren't. Being "pretty sure" a woman is interested is usually good enough for me to work up the nerve to ask her out. Being "100% dead certain this won't backfire professionally" is the standard for asking out a coworker.

Nothing is 100% dead certain. I smell so much weakness from this post.

Go masturbate if you want something easy and doesn't take any work, risk, or having to put yourself out there.

Sure does SEEM that you are using being Coworkers as a cop out for your inability to make a move.

[KenMcCoy]

Man up and ask her out for drinks (if you both drink). Stop dancing around the subject...if you continue she'll quickly lose interest. She's obviously interested if she looked you up on facebook.

Your work can't do anything to you unless you report to her or vice versa.

[Findog]

Update: Going out for drinks this Thursday after work.

[J.T.]

Fathers are NOT friends. They are teachers, rule-setters, and guides, with the ultimate goal of producing a capable, polite, competant adult.

And dads who aren't friends with their kids and only drill them with the do's and dont's of life are probably responsible for their kids becoming fags or emo losers or any number of negative social stereotypes. A father should be his son's best friend, on top of being his father.

Findog, may I recommend a pick up line I find to be bold, witty, and have a high success rate? Try this out: "My dick just died, can I bury it in your ass?"

[DannyT]

first off how do you call yourself an IT worker and allow your netowrks to be comprimised by facebook and god knows what else...second how much do your help desk network techs get paid and were do I sign up?

Third most people say dont shit and eat in the same place but it worked out for me...it was similar to your situation but times are different now so I dont know but just do a group date to start out with and let her work her way into your heart...cause this isnt Coming to America, youre not gonna mop your way into your life sir

good luck

[Heath Ledger]

Wow I can't believe there are people out in the world like you. Who asks a bunch of internet strangers for dating advice, you sound like a paranoid mother fucker with no balls and who hasn't pussy since pussy had you.

Grow a pair, if you like the chick, ask her out to lunch date and go from there but don't pussy foot around like a high school girl.

[DannyT]

and thats the bottom line.....cause Heath Ledger said so!!!

[duncan228]

Update: Going out for drinks this Thursday after work.

Hope you have a good time Findog. Glad you asked her.

[PM5K]

I had some pretty good advice but it was 3am (like it is now) and I accidentally deleted it.

I guess it's a moot point based on your above post, but the gist was that I would have taken her unbelievably obvious hints, but since I'm me and not you I think the best advice for you would have been to let things progress naturally, maybe push them ever so slightly, it's like a dance and when you finally get her in bed it makes everything that much better.

[angel_luv]

Update: Going out for drinks this Thursday after work.

Have fun. :)

[Bartleby]

Watch and learn from the best:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTQY1Aw9zcs&feature=related