flipcritic
06-01-2009, 06:18 AM
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/stan_van_gundy_draws_up?utm_source=a-section
ORLANDO—During a timeout in Game 4 of Tuesday's Eastern Conference Finals, Magic head coach and barbecue aficionado Stan Van Gundy used the rich, tangy sauce on his index finger to diagram an offensive scheme on his clipboard. "First off, you're going to stack up like...like this rack of ribs, and then you're going to outlet pass me that last piece of cornbread," said Van Gundy, motioning toward Mickael Pietrus while licking at the brownish-red glaze coating his mustache. "Turkoglu, I want you to set a screen where I've set these chunks of pulled pork to, uh, [unintelligible]—this small chunk of pulled pork—near the perimeter. Christ, that's good. Then Dwight [Howard], this chicken drumstick, should be open under the hoop." Although Howard was in fact open in the paint, the center missed the pass, as he was still partially blinded by barbecue sauce that had spattered from Van Gundy's mouth.
ORLANDO—During a timeout in Game 4 of Tuesday's Eastern Conference Finals, Magic head coach and barbecue aficionado Stan Van Gundy used the rich, tangy sauce on his index finger to diagram an offensive scheme on his clipboard. "First off, you're going to stack up like...like this rack of ribs, and then you're going to outlet pass me that last piece of cornbread," said Van Gundy, motioning toward Mickael Pietrus while licking at the brownish-red glaze coating his mustache. "Turkoglu, I want you to set a screen where I've set these chunks of pulled pork to, uh, [unintelligible]—this small chunk of pulled pork—near the perimeter. Christ, that's good. Then Dwight [Howard], this chicken drumstick, should be open under the hoop." Although Howard was in fact open in the paint, the center missed the pass, as he was still partially blinded by barbecue sauce that had spattered from Van Gundy's mouth.