duncan228
07-02-2009, 08:56 PM
Overcoming a bad bounce with grace (http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/life/religion/6509329.html)
By Dawn Cole
San Antonio Express-News
His story starts, as too many children’s stories do, with an absent father who drank too much, a mother caught in the grip of drug addiction.
The big problem with that, he soon learned, is that drugs always come first.
Always. He recalls dreaming of an Atari for his birthday and waking to find that the TV was gone.
“Where is it?” he asked.
“Someone borrowed it,” came the response.
I hear the story while sitting in a church pew. As he tells it now, for an audience of several thousand, Bruce Bowen — the San Antonio Spur recently traded to Milwaukee — plays it for laughs.
He jokes that people borrow a cup of sugar, not a television. He smiles a million-dollar smile, raises his eyebrows and invites his audience to laugh at his childhood indignation before he delivers the gut punch.
Of course, the TV had been sold for crack money.
But the absent dad and addicted mom weren’t the only forces who would shape Bowen. A grandmother fiercely faithful, prone to old-school prayer meetings and old-school switchings, instilled him with discipline. A grandfather who drove a garbage truck schooled him on life lessons.
He tells his story now, no bitterness in his voice. His faith in God and understanding of grace have taught him to sort the wheat from the chaff, to value the lessons learned in bad times as well as good.
When he went to college on a scholarship, a young preacher and his wife took him into their home and hearts, offering the stability he hadn’t had growing up.
He tells about how, after a disagreement, he started packing up, figuring he was about to be tossed out. That’s what had happened most of his life, after all. Someone got mad, got tired, got high and shipped him off to another relative for a while.
But this family was different. The unconditional love they talked about in church on Sundays they lived out in the heat of conflict. “That’s what families do,” they told him. “We discipline, but we work it out.”
To this day, Bowen calls Robert and Sandra Thrash Mom and Dad.
As he talks about them, I glance over at my own brown-eyed boy, sitting on the pew alongside me. He is listening to the NBA star with rapt attention.
This child has his own dark stories. I read them first in a binder at the Child Protective Services office. Absent father, addicted mother. Bounced from grandmother to other relatives to the foster system. Shipped off when someone got high or tired or frustrated.
Then, a little over a year ago, we stood in an adoption ceremony with him and said “no more bouncing.” It’s not always easy. Eight years of uncertainty take a toll on a child, and my parenting imperfections are many.
But we work it out. That’s what families do.
As he listens to Bowen, I hope he’s truly hearing these lessons. Where we have come from does not define where we are going. All things, even the hard and horrifying ones, really can work together for good. People fail us, but God does not.
NBA fans know the rest of Bruce Bowen’s story. How he went to Europe to play basketball, made it to the NBA, earned three championship rings playing for the San Antonio Spurs. How he and his beautiful wife, Yardley, are raising two boys, boys blessed with a father determined to stop a cycle and step up to the plate.
As he talks about those chapters of his story, Bowen has a few basketballs signed and inscribed with his favorite Bible verse to be passed on to kids who need a reminder, a little encouragement to keep moving forward.
One of them makes its way to a set of hands I know well, a little boy whose story started the same way as Bowen’s. And because an NBA star was willing to share, he has a reminder that the ending to his story is between him and God.
By Dawn Cole
San Antonio Express-News
His story starts, as too many children’s stories do, with an absent father who drank too much, a mother caught in the grip of drug addiction.
The big problem with that, he soon learned, is that drugs always come first.
Always. He recalls dreaming of an Atari for his birthday and waking to find that the TV was gone.
“Where is it?” he asked.
“Someone borrowed it,” came the response.
I hear the story while sitting in a church pew. As he tells it now, for an audience of several thousand, Bruce Bowen — the San Antonio Spur recently traded to Milwaukee — plays it for laughs.
He jokes that people borrow a cup of sugar, not a television. He smiles a million-dollar smile, raises his eyebrows and invites his audience to laugh at his childhood indignation before he delivers the gut punch.
Of course, the TV had been sold for crack money.
But the absent dad and addicted mom weren’t the only forces who would shape Bowen. A grandmother fiercely faithful, prone to old-school prayer meetings and old-school switchings, instilled him with discipline. A grandfather who drove a garbage truck schooled him on life lessons.
He tells his story now, no bitterness in his voice. His faith in God and understanding of grace have taught him to sort the wheat from the chaff, to value the lessons learned in bad times as well as good.
When he went to college on a scholarship, a young preacher and his wife took him into their home and hearts, offering the stability he hadn’t had growing up.
He tells about how, after a disagreement, he started packing up, figuring he was about to be tossed out. That’s what had happened most of his life, after all. Someone got mad, got tired, got high and shipped him off to another relative for a while.
But this family was different. The unconditional love they talked about in church on Sundays they lived out in the heat of conflict. “That’s what families do,” they told him. “We discipline, but we work it out.”
To this day, Bowen calls Robert and Sandra Thrash Mom and Dad.
As he talks about them, I glance over at my own brown-eyed boy, sitting on the pew alongside me. He is listening to the NBA star with rapt attention.
This child has his own dark stories. I read them first in a binder at the Child Protective Services office. Absent father, addicted mother. Bounced from grandmother to other relatives to the foster system. Shipped off when someone got high or tired or frustrated.
Then, a little over a year ago, we stood in an adoption ceremony with him and said “no more bouncing.” It’s not always easy. Eight years of uncertainty take a toll on a child, and my parenting imperfections are many.
But we work it out. That’s what families do.
As he listens to Bowen, I hope he’s truly hearing these lessons. Where we have come from does not define where we are going. All things, even the hard and horrifying ones, really can work together for good. People fail us, but God does not.
NBA fans know the rest of Bruce Bowen’s story. How he went to Europe to play basketball, made it to the NBA, earned three championship rings playing for the San Antonio Spurs. How he and his beautiful wife, Yardley, are raising two boys, boys blessed with a father determined to stop a cycle and step up to the plate.
As he talks about those chapters of his story, Bowen has a few basketballs signed and inscribed with his favorite Bible verse to be passed on to kids who need a reminder, a little encouragement to keep moving forward.
One of them makes its way to a set of hands I know well, a little boy whose story started the same way as Bowen’s. And because an NBA star was willing to share, he has a reminder that the ending to his story is between him and God.