Grandparents Are Underrated

[timvp]

I found out a couple weeks ago that my grandma had cancer. I was surprised because I had never seen my grandma sick. She hadn’t been to a doctor for any reason in years and was in very good shape for her age. After talking to her on the phone, I was relieved to here her as strong and stubborn as ever. She said that she was excited that Kori and I were planning on starting a family soon. She said she couldn’t wait for the day that she’d become a great-grandma for the first time.

That’s classic grandma. Not only is she brutally honest, she’s as hardheaded as they come. She had my aunt when she was 15 and mom when she was 16 in the Dominican Republic. A couple years later, her husband (my grandpa) and all the other males in both her and her husband’s families were killed in the Dominican Civil War.

No worries. She came to the United States and after living with relatives for a while, she carved out a rather good life for my mom and her sister. That’s how she is – the tough, nonsense type.

After I talked to her after the cancer diagnosis, it really hit me how cool grandparents are. They are like parents … except wiser and don’t get caught up in the trivial things that cloud everyday existence. They’ve lived it, so they know what is important and what isn’t. They also seem to understand kids better. I guess it’s because they have the experience. For example, when I was about three and four years old my dad always had to go on business trips and was gone for months at a time. When he’d leave, he told when he’d be back but when you are that age you don’t understand. So what my grandma did was give me a piece of paper with boxes for each day that my dad would be gone. Each morning I’d wake up and cross out a box, and when I got to the end … my dad would be back. Funny how that always worked :)

She’s always told me that the key to life is to do what makes you happy and to be honest to yourself. If only everyone could be as honest as my grandma. She isn’t just honest, she’s unafraid of what you think of her honesty. If you didn’t want to hear the truth, you better avoid asking her opinion. Once when I was young, I asked her if I had big ears and she said, “No, but you have a wide nose.” :rollin

Today my grandma died. While she was too young and she went too fast, I can honestly say heaven is a better place right now. She’s up there telling it like it is. She’s up there being as strong and stubborn as ever.

If you have grandparents who are still around, let them know you care. Listen to their advice because they’ve already walked in the shoes you are walking in right now.

Peace be to my grandma and thanks. Kori and I will tell our kids about you and I know you’ll look over them from up there. Bye.

[Kori Ellis]

:(

[TastesLikeChicken]

"Respect, to the grandma"

[Taco]

Grandparents ROCK!!!!

[desflood]

Sorry as hell to hear that man. I've lost two really cool grandparents. Still think of them and smile, though. :)

[MannyIsGod]

I'm willing to bet Timvp's grandmother is talking with Biggie right now about how much rap sucks today.

[travis2]

LJ, you've had some posts in your time...

All of them are like dust compared to that one.

Truly a classic.


I lost my grandparents 36 hours apart over 10 years ago. Grandma to cancer...grandfather to complications of a stroke, pneumonia...and a broken heart, we're pretty sure. As if my grandma said to him, "Coming, Joe?", as she had for all the years of their marriage. And, as in all the years of their marriage, when she called...he went.

My only regret was not being able to attend the funeral...but the USAF had other places for me to be that week.



Thanks for sharing with us.

[Shelly]

Sorry to hear about her passing. :(

I have no grandparents.

[ZStomp]

That's great LJ that you got that oppurtinity. The oppotunity to experience a Grandma. Unfortunately, I have never in my life had a Grandma. I've only had a (1) Grandpa but he passed in October of 1994. He was the only Father Figure I had. Bless him and yours!

[Useruser666]

I still have both my grandma's. My condolences LJ.

[Jekka]

I still have both my grandma's.

Good for you, Chris.

I went through a similar experience this summer, LJ, and lost my grandfather who was like a second father to me to cancer. It's hard, but sometimes it's comforting that it happened quickly, and that they had lived their lives so fully before. My condolences, though - if there's anything I can do, feel free to give me a call or message or something. And why is there no hugging smiley face?

[xcoriate]

Wow sorry for ya LJ

my Grandma passed away this weekend as well, she had elzheimers. It was kind of sudden and the family was all gathered which was nice. Cousins Borther Sisters Aunties and Uncles. She'd been a little sick buit I think her time just came.

R.I.P.

[Jimcs50]

Sorry about your loss timvp.

My grandparents are long gone as is my mom, but my son still have his grandpa around and I make sure that he gets to see him as much as possible just for those very reasons that you stated.

Be there for your mom, she will need you a lot in the next few months.

[nacho estrada]

Condolences to you and your family LJ.. My prayers are with you and yours.

Good story about your grandmother.. I too agree they are VERY underrated; I have been fortunate enough to experience life as the grandson of such a remarkable woman as well. This remarkable lady is 84 years old, her kidneys failed her 5 years ago and she has been on dialysis ever since. Dialysis is a process where they hook you up to a machine that cycles every drop of blood in your system, cleans it, and sends it back into you. The process takes 4 hours and done every 2 days and drains you like being out in the sun all day long from her explanation of it. Well fast forward to Easter weekend, On the Saturday before Easter, I received a call from my Dad who told me that my grandmother was in the hospital and that she was going into emergency surgery that was to remove gangrene, which had infected her small intestine. The gangrene was not allowing food to pass (causing her stomach pains) and could rupture her intestine releasing acids, etc. at any time, killing her. She had been taking her Mexican home tea remedies to try and kick a “stomachache” she had been having for a few days but that did not work and she finally asked to be taken to the hospital. Well when I got the call from my Pop’s he said the doctors did not expect her to make it through the surgery especially considering her age and health. When I heard this it hit me like a bag of bricks, and I immediately rushed to the hospital to be by her side hoping to have the opportunity to tell her how I much I loved her and how much she meant to me growing up. Well I told this to her as she lay in the hospital bed, telling me that she didn’t mind either way if she made it through the surgery or not. She said she had lived a happy life and felt like she had served her purpose on Earth creating our family and having the opportunity to see her grandchildren grow up and have their own children, etc. She also mentioned that she could not wait to be with her true love again. She stated she probably could have remarried (she isn’t a bad looking 84 yr old) but felt that no man could live up to my grandfather and that she had loved all her love for him. She told my fiancée and I stories of maintaining our cool when we argue and to walk away and come back without yelling at each other. She told us this without knowing if that she would ever see me again. It was the way she told these things, knowing that I would cherish them for the rest of my life and I thanked God that day for allowing me to tell her that I loved her with all my being. The best thing about this is that she was telling us jokes and making light of the situation at hand. This woman had no fear in her eyes, no worry, and even comforted me, as I cried at her bedside telling her my feelings for her. It was like I was 6 all over again and she was taking care of me because I skinned my knee playing outside of her house. I thank the Lord that she is still with us today and remarkably made it through the surgery. I am still very happy that she knows how I much she is loved on this Earth and any extra time God gives us to be with her is a blessing.

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

Grandparents are awesome and it's sad to see them go. My dad's dad is still alive, and is an hornery ol' guy. 89 years old and he was re-building a Buick from the ground up here recently for fun. He's pretty much survived on cigarettes and Jim Beam the last 25 years. . .he's well-pickled. He's seen it all and then some. I grew up having to shake his hand instead of hug him because he'd say "men don't hug", but when I took his great-grandson to his house last spring who we named after him, he hugged him and cried and I thought I'd never get my son back. The longer you're around the more you figure out what's important I suppose. I'll sure miss him when he's gone.

I'm very, very sorry for your loss.

[Kori Ellis]

I lived with my only set of grandparents from the time I was born. When I was eight years old, my grandma died of lung cancer :( What's strange is that, though she was gone so soon, most lessons in life, I learned from her. I learned about respect, faith, laughter and love. I even learned to cook from her. (So all of you need to start giving your thanks to her at GTG's :) )

R.I.P. to LJ's grandma. I'm sure she's peaceful and reunited with your grandpa now.

[Charles Stunner]

Rest In Peace

[T Park]

I know your pain.

My only grandmother left is getting over breast cancer.


Shes doesn't remember stuff much anymore, and she didnt remember my mother when we visited her this past winter.

But, she did remember the year grandfather got me that ozzie smith autographed baseball in 87 along with Terry Pendleton, Tommy Herr, Jack Clark, and Vince Coleman.


She doesnt remember much of grandfather who I honestly didnt know very well, just a little, he died when i was 9.



But I know what you mean, and I feel your pain bro.


Hopefully I get to take Grandma to a couple more cardinal games, and enjoy a couple more REggie Sanders home runs (thats her favorite player "Hes always smiling!!" lol)

Love to grandmas, they rule more than anything in the world.

[mookie2001]

my grandma justhad her 88th birthday
i'm her favorite
her party was bad
champagne
mariachis

[Slomo]

Sorry to hear about your loss LJ. But judging by your post she will be forever in your heart.

My greatest regret is that my daughter never met any of my grandparents, but I make sure to tell her all the stories I can remember and to make sure she knows where her family comes from.

[samikeyp]

My condolences to you my friend. I lost both my grandmothers within 6 months of each other back in 2003-04. You have a great support system with your wife and "extended family" here. Know that we are all with you at this time.

[bigzak25]

very sorry to hear it LJ. Godbless her and your family.

I only have one Grandma left, and the day she passes, I will cry like never before. I just say to everyone, never take your loved ones for granted, no matter their age, they are always taken too soon.

[Samurai Jane]

That was a wonderful post, LJ. Makes me regret that my maternal grandparents are so distant from us. My warmest memories are of my Nana, who passed away when I was 11. Our family has never been the same. My condolences to you and your family.

[SpursWoman]

I'm very, very sorry for your loss, LJ (and xcoriate, too). My grandmother died 5 years ago, and before she passed she was the only grandparent I'd had for 18 years. She was very sick and bedridden for several years before she passed away, and it was always heartbreaking to see her like that.

:(

I never really knew my grandfather (her husband) or my other set of grandparents, I was very little when they all passed away...so I always felt very lucky to have her.

This doesn't seem to have been a good last few weeks for some of the most important women in our lives... :(

[2Blonde]

That was a wonderful post LJ. My dad is dying of cancer right now. He has just a few weeks left and I hate the idea of my daughter growing up without him. He is her only living grampa, but you made me feel so much better about the lessons she has gotten from him in the 13 years she has had with him.
Thanks again.
2Blonde

[CosmicCowboy]

sorry for your loss LJ...and I know how you feel...

I never knew my grandparents on my fathers side but had the priviledge of being able to spend time with both grandparents on my moms side...they were divorced and living in different towns and my grandfather was remarried...that divorce was one of those things that was basically on the "do not ask" list as a kid but apparently it was THE scandalous talk of the small town they lived in at the time...my grandfather was apparently fooling around with the redheaded schoolteacher who was married to my grandmothers brother which ended up creating some interesting family dynamics...questions like..."why is my grandfather married to my aunt?" were routinely ducked...but I digress...

anyway...my grandfather was one of those texans that was just larger than life...worked hard, played hard, everyones friend...lived his life to the fullest...as an example bought a Honda Goldwing when he was in his 70's, pimped it out and joined a "gang" called the "retreads"...he was the only adult I knew that would sit down with me as a kid and talk about real things and listen to what I said without making judgemental adult comments...He was really a role model for me in every way...

He eventually developed prostate cancer when I was an "adult" (whatever that is) and fought it for several years...they eventually decided that as a life extending measure they needed to surgically remove his testicles...I was visiting him in the hospital the night before the procedure...we were laughing and cutting up, telling dirty jokes and just generally enjoying life and each other when one of my asshole ex-brother in laws showed up...(I have three sisters and ten ex-brother in laws but thats another story)

anyway...he immediately launches into a monologue about how sorry he was that my grandfather had to have the procedure and how awful it must be...just generally threw cold water on the whole situation...and my grandfathers response was absolutely priceless...

He looked him straight in the eyes and said..."boy...you don't need to feel sorry for ME...I've had more good pussy in my life than you will ever even THINK about getting..."

I nearly fell off my chair laughing...And thats how I will always remember my Grandfather...

[gay abc]

wow - moving story lj - i'm sorry to hear about that = (

my mema & pappaw died when i was young and i don't remember much about them except for the outhouse in the back yard :lol i was an accident (imagine that!) and popped out 17 years later :oops



Once when I was young, I asked her if I had big ears and she said, “No, but you have a wide nose.”

:D :lmao

[tekdragon]

I'm really sorry for your loss, LJ.

I'm also really appreciative of your post. It couldn't have come at a better time for me personally, as I'm headed to San Antonio to visit my grandparents this weekend. I'll make damn sure it's a time for celebration for me, and I'll definitely be thinking about you and your family.

Just know that you're surrounded by people who are genuinely touched by your words and actions every day (I count myself among them, especially today), and those people are always there to support you should you need them. Your grandmother will always be watching over you. And smiling. Proudly.

[KEDA]

L J


They just put my grandfather in a hospice facility due to his bout with cancer, I can empathise with you as many of the feelings and emotions that you are going through I am having them as well. I give my sincerest condolences to you and your family.

If there is anything that you need, let me or Krista know.

and I might call on you for some advice, since our situations are so similar.

[FromWayDowntown]

My condolences to all; the stories are all moving and poignant.

I had the great fortune to have all of my grandparents alive into my late-20's, and most of them alive into my early-30's. It was such a blessing to not only have the moments that develop in a child-to-grandparent relationship, but also to partake of their wisdom about the ways of the world in an adult relationship. Now that all of my grandparents are dead -- now that I'm able to only think about them and recall those wonderful times -- I'm more convinced than ever that I got the greatest gift from all of them: a shared life. Nothing will ever take that from me and I'll never, ever let that go; I miss all of them, every single day.

[red kryptonite]

your Grandmother sounds like the type of person that is tough, durable, and honest - a very rare fiber in today's world. I'm sorry to learn that she is gone, but it is good to know that her legacy will continue.

[MI21]

:(

Sorry about that timvp. I've lost 2 of my grandparents, not an easy time. Condolences.


I'm willing to bet Timvp's grandmother is talking with Biggie right now about how much rap sucks today.

:) Good one. She should be haunting Peter Holt for trading Malik too :)

[JoeChalupa]

Sorry to hear about your loss LJ.

I lost mine over 25 years ago and still remember them like it was yesterday.

My kids will agree that grandparents ROCK!!

[Munchelen]

Sorry to hear about your loss LJ.

I have been living up at BAMC since last friday with my grandfather. He was in a major car accident and has been in critical condition. While reading
all of these posts the phone rang and it was the Doctors saying that
they have moved my grandfather from ICU into his own room! He is
holding his own and giving them hell! In my brain I was getting ready for the
worst but in my heart I knew he was going to make it! I now have to
get my sick butt up and go back down there to warn the new nurses that
if they are female (most of his have been male thank God!) to not get to
close to his hands.....he likes to give lots of lovin!

[pseudofan]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss LJ.

I never knew my grandparents very well. My mother's mom died of breast cancer when she was 16. Her dad never really had anything to do with us. I think I saw him a total of three times in my life and one of those times was at his funeral. My dad's dad died when I was very young, he had intestinal cancer. And my dad's mom died only a few years ago, but she didn't speak english so we never communicated very well. Besides, she had 12 kids and like 100 grandkids, so not getting to know us was not a loss for her in her opinion.

You are lucky to have had the years of love and support from your grandmother that you had.

[tlongII]

My grandmother and I never got along. She's been dead about 15 years now.