pregnancy and wedding

[sonic21]

So my girlfriend and i were planning on getting married next summer. We found out a few weeks ago she was pregnant. :hat

So we finally told her granmother she was pregnant. Now she insists we have to get married before the birth. She even said she would not come if we're still getting married next year.

I hate people like that, i mean WTF... ruining a moment like that. She's not even a religious person. She's just trying to piss us off.

She's the only person who doesn't like me in her family, i'm hoping it will not create too much drama.

[Dr. Gonzo]

Do what makes the two of you happy. Don't worry about anyone else.

[JoeChalupa]

You are not marrying her grandmother. It is your wedding so plan it and try, if you'd like, to accommodate your family but in the end you make the decisions.
That is how the wife and I did it. It keep those who have "suggestions" mostly quiet. Good luck! :tu

[Viva Las Espuelas]

Do what makes the two of you happy. Don't worry about anyone else.
word. the granny will be dead soon anyway.

[ATRAIN]

Do what makes the two of you happy. Don't worry about anyone else.

Damn this might be the best advice you have ever given.

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

Joe hit it on the head. It's your wedding; the day it happens on is your decision. Call grandma's bluff.

[JudynTX]

Is grandma paying for this wedding? :D

[SpursStalker]

you are not marrying her grandmother. It is your wedding so plan it and try, if you'd like, to accommodate your family but in the end you make the decisions.
That is how the wife and i did it. It keep those who have "suggestions" mostly quiet. Good luck! :tu

+1

And not even if Grandma is paying for it! It's YOUR wedding and YOU do what YOU want.

And congrats on both accounts ...

:toast

[TDMVPDPOY]

dude i told you to pull out....

now you see what happens when accidents happen which werent meant to occur,

unless she was filthy rich and you did it on purpose to marry into her family to get ur share of the fortune :D:D

[mrsmaalox]

I agree with everyone that you all should do what makes you happy. But just remember that no matter how unfair, illogical it may seem to you, she's probably just got her grand daughter's best interests in mind. Sure she may also be acting like a controlling bitch, but considering how many engaged pregnant couples break up after the birth, maybe she doesn't want her granddaughter to end up a single parent. But yes, you should ultimately do what is right for you :)

[sonic21]

Do what makes the two of you happy. Don't worry about anyone else.


You are not marrying her grandmother. It is your wedding so plan it and try, if you'd like, to accommodate your family but in the end you make the decisions.
That is how the wife and I did it. It keep those who have "suggestions" mostly quiet. Good luck! :tu

thanks for the advices :tu

I'm still worried about her reaction though, i can see her coming to the wedding and ruining the day. I don't want her in the wedding but it's my girlfriend's call, it's her grandma.


Is grandma paying for this wedding? :D

god no

[sonic21]

dude i told you to pull out....

now you see what happens when accidents happen which werent meant to occur,

unless she was filthy rich and you did it on purpose to marry into her family to get ur share of the fortune :D:D

:lol

we've been together for 8 years (since highschool), so i'm surprised it didn't happen sooner.

[Viva Las Espuelas]

oh. the ol' high school sweetheart thing. good luck with that.

[Summers]

dude i told you to pull out....

now you see what happens when accidents happen which werent meant to occur,

unless she was filthy rich and you did it on purpose to marry into her family to get ur share of the fortune :D:D

Damn, everything you post is completely inappropriate and not funny.

Sonic, you and your girl should plan your wedding according to what Y'ALL want.

And congrats on the little one. :)

[desflood]

Say, "I'm sorry to hear that Grandma, we were really looking forward to having all of our family there." Then wait and see if she cracks or not.

[Bender]

oh. the ol' high school sweetheart thing. good luck with that.

exactly.... advice from us older guys here.... marrying H.S. sweetheart...

best to wait, the longer the better...

Does granny have a shotgun?

[sonic21]

well we're living together for 7 years, i think it's enough time.

[mrsmaalox]

Damn, everything you post is completely inappropriate and not funny.

Sonic, you and your girl should plan your wedding according to what Y'ALL want.

And congrats on the little one. :)

:lmao Thanks Summers! I haven't wanted to say anything because I thought he was a drug addict or retarded or something :tu

[Bender]

ok, I guess 7 years is long enought to find out what each of you can't stand about the other!

Married my first major GF, lived together 2 years, then got married, divorced 3 years after that...

2nd marriage now... going on 17 years...


Thanks Summers! I haven't wanted to say anything because I thought he was a drug addict or retarded or something

I called him a moron a long time ago, didn't do any good...

[JudynTX]

well we're living together for 7 years, i think it's enough time.

Congrats on the the newest Spurs fan. :)

[sonic21]

ok, I guess 7 years is long enought to find out what each of you can't stand about the other!

Married my first major GF, lived together 2 years, then got married, divorced 3 years after that...

2nd marriage now... going on 17 years...

17 years, nice.

so who couldn't stand the other?

[ORION]

You're never going to support a family and raise kids if you listen to other people's bullshit. Take a stand and tell her old ass to Walk if she doesn't like the way you two are doing things. Plus your chick will see you in a new light and know she will be taken care of.

[sonic21]

Congrats on the the newest Spurs fan. :)

and Lost fan, he/she will have to like this show.:hat

[Bender]

so who couldn't stand the other?
I was fine with her, she decided after a while that she wanted to be free to go around and do whatever, at whatever time, with no responsibilities...

luckily, no kids.

Have my one and only kid from my 2nd and current wife.

[JudynTX]

and Lost fan, he/she will have to like this show.:hat

Absolutely! :toast If it's a boy, name him Sawyer. :D

[sonic21]

Absolutely! :toast If it's a boy, name him Sawyer. :D

well your life will not be easy if your name is sawyer

[hater]

So my girlfriend and i were planning on getting married next summer. We found out a few weeks ago she was pregnant. :hat

So we finally told her granmother she was pregnant. Now she insists we have to get married before the birth. She even said she would not come if we're still getting married next year.

I hate people like that, i mean WTF... ruining a moment like that. She's not even a religious person. She's just trying to piss us off.

She's the only person who doesn't like me in her family, i'm hoping it will not create too much drama.

congrats. right now your #1 priority should be your woman. fuck her grandma. tell he to go to hell

[JudynTX]

well your life will not be easy if your name is sawyer

:lol Based on the show, yes. As long as the baby is healthy is all that matters.

[mrsmaalox]

congrats. right now your #1 priority should be your woman. fuck her grandma. tell he to go to hell

Whatever you do, do NOT fuck her grandma!!

[sonic21]

Whatever you do, do NOT fuck her grandma!!

:lmao

[Viva Las Espuelas]

just reenact the last 5 minutes of psycho II with the grandma. problem solved. i can't find the youtube or i'd put it up

[easjer]

Congrats on the pregnancy and good luck with the wedding. There really isn't any purpose in piling that stress and financial burden directly on top of a pregnancy, imo - I think you're doing the smart thing in waiting.

[ploto]

Just a question: Did you actually expect her grandma to jump for joy at the news? Did you not have some idea that she would expect you to get married before you had a baby? In that generation, people got married if someone got pregnant. Give her time and hopefully she will calm down.

Also remember that this is HER grandma and not yours. It is best to "make" each person deal with his or her own family. Some of the worst marital problems are caused by the unwillingness of one partner to handle the issues caused by that person's own relatives and the subsequent meltdown that inevitably occurs when the spouse tries to deal with the in-laws. Your girlfriend needs to decide how to deal with her grandma. This notion that people assume she will just cut the woman out of her life is presumptuous without knowing the nature of their relationship and how much it means to this girl. If you battle the grandma, the girl could end up defending her.

[mrsmaalox]

Just a question: Did you actually expect her grandma to jump for joy at the news? Did you not have some idea that she would expect you to get married before you had a baby? In that generation, people got married if someone got pregnant. Give her time and hopefully she will calm down.

Also remember that this is HER grandma and not yours. It is best to "make" each person deal with his or her own family. Some of the worst marital problems are caused by the unwillingness of one partner to handle the issues caused by that person's own relatives and the subsequent meltdown that inevitably occurs when the spouse tries to deal with the in-laws. Your girlfriend needs to decide how to deal with her grandma. This notion that people assume she will just cut the woman out of her life is presumptuous without knowing the nature of their relationship and how much it means to this girl. If you battle the grandma, the girl could end up defending her.

This is the most important advice here I think.

[Phineas J. Whoopee]

The way to deal with the grandma is to make the decision together and then grandma will have to deal with your decision.

[angel_luv]

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding and especially on your baby. You are very blessed!

[Trainwreck2100]

That's pretty ghetto to have your kid show up to your wedding.

[ChumpDumper]

Pregnant brides always crack me up for some reason. I guess they can try on their dresses years later and say "See, it still fits!" even if they just get fat.

[Strike]

Just a question: Did you actually expect her grandma to jump for joy at the news? Did you not have some idea that she would expect you to get married before you had a baby? In that generation, people got married if someone got pregnant. Give her time and hopefully she will calm down.

Also remember that this is HER grandma and not yours. It is best to "make" each person deal with his or her own family. Some of the worst marital problems are caused by the unwillingness of one partner to handle the issues caused by that person's own relatives and the subsequent meltdown that inevitably occurs when the spouse tries to deal with the in-laws. Your girlfriend needs to decide how to deal with her grandma. This notion that people assume she will just cut the woman out of her life is presumptuous without knowing the nature of their relationship and how much it means to this girl. If you battle the grandma, the girl could end up defending her.

Good point. Sonic, if your girl and her grandma are close, your girl needs to deal with it. Like Ploto said, if you say or do something to upset the grandma, your girl could end up defending her and turning on you. Have your girl deal with the grandma, be there to back her up.

[iilluzioN]

Do what makes the two of you happy. Don't worry about anyone else.


best advise iv ever fucking heard

:toast

[Crookshanks]

Why is everyone being so hard on the grandmother? She comes from a generation where people got married BEFORE they had children; and if there was an out of wedlock pregnancy, the couple quickly and QUIETLY got married.

Now - it seems it's perfectly fine to have the baby first and then get married... or not. And maybe the grandmother doesn't want her great-grandchild to be illegitimate - she comes from the generation where they had a name for those children...

[Strike]

Why is everyone being so hard on the grandmother? She comes from a generation where people got married BEFORE they had children; and if there was an out of wedlock pregnancy, the couple quickly and QUIETLY got married.

Now - it seems it's perfectly fine to have the baby first and then get married... or not. And maybe the grandmother doesn't want her great-grandchild to be illegitimate - she comes from the generation where they had a name for those children...

That's like excusing the old racist grandfather for his racism because "he's from a different time". The times of bastard children and the stigma of being an unwed mother is gone.

And, again, THE GRANDMOTHER IS NOT GETTING MARRIED!!! If she doesn't want to show up to her ADULT granddaughter's wedding because of a conscious, adult choice that Sonic and his woman made, that's on her. She risks upsetting her granddaughter, nothing more.

[Chingo Bling]

Ok I am ehlost. Jou are going impregnate an abuela name Mary?

[sonic21]

Like i said it's my girlfriend's call, i didn't say anything when she was talking with her granmother. Her granfather and I just left the room during their argument. They're not really close, my GF was really mad after their discussion.

We really like the idea of our child being present at our wedding. So maybe we'll wait a few more months before getting married.

We'll wait a few days to see if she has changed her mind. Then we'll see...

[CuckingFunt]

In general, I agree with the advice to do what make you guys happy, but family is a sticky thing and needs to be respected.

Kind of surprised it hasn't been suggested here yet, since it seems so obvious, but why not do a quickie Justice of the Peace wedding now to make the kid legit and the grandmother happy, but still plan a big ceremony for later? Seems the easiest way to satisfy everyone.

[PM5K]

What a stupid fucking old idiot, you're supposed to get married before you knock the bitch up, after that it doesn't really fucking matter.

[PM5K]

They're not really close


Who gives a fuck then?




We really like the idea of our child being present at our wedding

What trailer park do you live in?

[eyeh8u]

wow no one is taking grandmas side

If you want to know why she is insisting you get married first i will tell you. You said it yourself she doesnt like you. Something about you makes her think you are untrustworthy. She knows what it is like having kids, if you haven't held you day old baby in your arms, no matter how you think you are going to feel, you wont know until the day you do. She is afraid that once you see the actual baby you might cut and run. Open and honest dialog can get you past this if you really want. Make her trust you and she wont care when you get married

[PuttPutt]

If you want to take grandma's side, like CuckingFunt said, do the Justice of the Peace thing. You'll be married, but you can always do a big ceremony later. You'll make an untrusting grandmother realize something (exactly what I don't know) & shut her the hell up. But pregnancy & wedding plans together are very stressful. Hell, pregnancy is stressful. (my wife is 7 months pregnant with our 2nd). My cousin is in the same situation right now, but they had planned on getting married anyway. They've just sped it up a bit. You guys HAVE to do what is best for the 2 of you. If you really love her, marry her. If not, just do the right thing & take care of your kid when it's born.

[bugoy]

seriously, last thing you want to do is force yourself into a wedding, do it at your own pace, forcing issues always messes things up

[bugoy]

What trailer park do you live in?


come on, cut the guy some slack

[desflood]

That's like excusing the old racist grandfather for his racism because "he's from a different time". The times of bastard children and the stigma of being an unwed mother is gone.
I actually have a friend struggling with both of these problems. She's 28, pregnant and unmarried, although living with her boyfriend - who is black. A close (older) relative of hers refuses to speak to her, for both being pregnant and being with an African-American man. It's very hard on her because this is somebody she always loved very much and still wants to be close to, but it seems their relationship is destroyed by this. I've told her so many times, "You can't live your life for other people. Hopefully (your relative) will come around eventually," but that doesn't do her any good.

[S_A_Longhorn]

Sinner...

[urunobili]

If granny is not putting any money for the wedding or the kid... politely ask her to STFU...

[mrsmaalox]

I actually have a friend struggling with both of these problems. She's 28, pregnant and unmarried, although living with her boyfriend - who is black. A close (older) relative of hers refuses to speak to her, for both being pregnant and being with an African-American man. It's very hard on her because this is somebody she always loved very much and still wants to be close to, but it seems their relationship is destroyed by this. I've told her so many times, "You can't live your life for other people. Hopefully (your relative) will come around eventually," but that doesn't do her any good.

My cousin went thru this. Unmarried, pregnant by a black man----super big deal in the family. But I think it's because it was the first time it occurred in our extended family. Her father didn't speak to her the entire pregnancy. But the instant that baby was born, everything changed. That baby is the heart of her grandpa's life. Landmark for our clan: There was a black man at our table this past Thanksgiving! :lol

[xellos88330]

CONGRATULATIONS!!! My parents are very traditional catholics and hated the fact that my wife and I moved in together before we were married. I didn't care and did it anyway. Her grandmother will get over it.

[sonic21]

So my girlfriend and i were planning on getting married next summer. We found out a few weeks ago she was pregnant. :hat

So we finally told her granmother she was pregnant. Now she insists we have to get married before the birth. She even said she would not come if we're still getting married next year.

I hate people like that, i mean WTF... ruining a moment like that. She's not even a religious person. She's just trying to piss us off.

She's the only person who doesn't like me in her family, i'm hoping it will not create too much drama.

So i guess she was bluffing, she invited us this weekend and apologized for like 1 hour on the phone. She's "proud of us" and is "looking forward to come to the wedding". :rolleyes

[BacktoBasics]

So i guess she was bluffing, she invited us this weekend and apologized for like 1 hour on the phone. She's "proud of us" and is "looking forward to come to the wedding". :rolleyesWell thanks for wasting everyones time.

[ClintSquint]

That is great news.

[Bigzax]

So i guess she was bluffing, she invited us this weekend and apologized for like 1 hour on the phone. She's "proud of us" and is "looking forward to come to the wedding". :rolleyes


don'tchu be rolling your eyes at grandma mister!

[manufan10]

Whatever you do, do NOT fuck her grandma!!

This was the best advice on here. :lol

[CosmicCowboy]

Why not go ahead and get married? They have some really cute dresses for the brides now...
http://www.diamondvues.com/wedding%20dress%20for%20pregnant%20bride.jpg