Dumb and Need Help

[RedsLakers24]

Im sorry i just dont know what to do, ok here is the story, im attending Cal Poly University and i just finish my second year, i cant pass my damm Calculus class, i took it three times and have gotten a D+ every single time, im lying to my parents about the classes im taking because i dont want them to know i am failing, and i cant take any engineering classes because i need to pass that Calculus class in order to get into my classes i need, ok i want to get out of the Engineer career and be a police officer, but i dont know how to tell my parents, i know if i tell them they will be so dissapointed, PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE

[Viva Las Espuelas]

Im sorry i just dont know what to do, ok here is the story, im attending Cal Poly University and i just finish my second year, i cant pass my damm Calculus class, i took it three times and have gotten a D+ every single time, im lying to my parents about the classes im taking because i dont want them to know i am failing, and i cant take any engineering classes because i need to pass that Calculus class in order to get into my classes i need, ok i want to get out of the Engineer career and be a police officer, but i dont know how to tell my parents, i know if i tell them they will be so dissapointed, PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE
dude. just tell your parents. if you don't live your life you'll never be happy. if your parents don't approve then that's all on them.

[PakiDan]

Listen... I know this sounds simple and cliche, but the best route is to just man up and tell them straight out, just like you told us. I had to tell my parents my girlfriend was pregnant ON my 21st birthday. It was really tough, and there was a ton of heart ache but, it was the only way. This will help you gain some resolve, back bone, and will toughen you up for all of the hard choices and decisions you're going to have to make the remainder of your life. Best to get started on the right track now.... and stick to your guns.... if you want to be a cop, BE A COP. Don't let anyone tell you different. Remember, it's your life, be passionate about it.

[BacktoBasics]

I guess its safe to assume that mommy and daddy are paying for your education as well as lifestyle.

If not grow a pair and do what you want. Otherwise I would consider the benefits of a paid for education. You can always become an officer later. Never a shortage of those.

[RedsLakers24]

im also enrolled for classes this Fall, should i just canceled my classes, what should i do?

[tonylongoriafan]

i'm sure u have logical reasons on why u want to go into law enforcement...just lay it out for them...somewhere in there mix in how bad u suck at calculus and i'm fairly sure they'll understand...it could be a lot worse...man the eff up

[RedsLakers24]

I guess its safe to assume that mommy and daddy are paying for your education as well as lifestyle.

If not grow a pair and do what you want. Otherwise I would consider the benefits of a paid for education. You can always become an officer later. Never a shortage of those.

Well the Gov was paying for my education but not anymore this year because of my GPA is Low, and i also dont know how to tell them that

[PakiDan]

im also enrolled for classes this Fall, should i just canceled my classes, what should i do?

Talk to your parents ASAP! Maybe change your major, finish school, then join the police force. Better pay and faster promotions!

[PakiDan]

Dude... just open up.... it's hard at first, but you will feel so much better.

[RedsLakers24]

Talk to your parents ASAP! Maybe change your major, finish school, then join the police force. Better pay and faster promotions!

I Was thinking about going to a 2 year college and just get my assocaited degree, but the hard part its just telling my parents then join the police force

[BacktoBasics]

Well the Gov was paying for my education but not anymore this year because of my GPA is Low, and i also dont know how to tell them thatDo your parents pay for anything for you? Do you live at home? Are you black?

[PakiDan]

Do your parents pay for anything for you? Do you live at home? Are you black?

:lol

[RedsLakers24]

Do your parents pay for anything for you? Do you live at home? Are you black?

Nope im Mexican, and yeah right now im 19 yrs old and living at home with my parents so i dont pay rent or anything, the only thing i pay for is for my books, Car, Gym and Cell Phone

[balli]

If you're really trying and coming up short, tell your parents. Maybe college isn't for you, maybe it is, but lay your cards out. Keep it simple.

If you do stay and as far as passing the class goes, I'm sure Cal Poly has some sort of math center where grad students offer tutoring services. Fuck any stigma attached to it, if you can't pass the class go find some smart-as-hell little math nerd to work with you one on one.

[tonylongoriafan]

I Was thinking about going to a 2 year college and just get my assocaited degree, but the hard part its just telling my parents then join the police force

newsflash: u don't need a bachelor's degree to be a cop! i know 2 city cops whos started as county sheriffs, both only did a few semesters at community college...if u'r goal isn't to graduate, just quit, stop going...do something else...

[RedsLakers24]

newsflash: u don't need a bachelor's degree to be a cop! i know 2 city cops whos started as county sheriffs, both only did a few semesters at community college...if u'r goal isn't to graduate, just quit, stop going...do something else...

Yeah i dont want to get my Bachelors degree i just want to get an associate degree because some City police jobs require that, i read everything online already,

[J.T.]

I remember when I left a letter on my mother's pillow saying I was going to the Army and I'd see her in 8 years. Hard decision if you ask me. Too bad I never went to the Army.

[BacktoBasics]

You guys are going to fuck this kid up. Its not that easy to just drop a bomb like that on Mom and Dad without some kind of backlash. He's in no way or form prepared to make a rash decision like this because he's not ready to live on his own. If you were 100% self supported then I'd consider pointing you in the direction of just doing whatever it is that you want to do.

You need to start with a conversation about how you feel. Not about what you are thinking about doing. You aren't even on your own two feet so how can you just up and decide what's best for yourself without seeking out proper guidance.

Start with the basics.

1. Mom and Dad. I'm not feeling real good about how things are going at school. I'm not doing well in certain areas and after seeking out tutoring in math I'm still struggling. I wanted to try and attack this on my own because I didn't want you two to be disappointed in me. At this point I may have cost myself a semester or two of tuition because of my shortcomings. I'm starting to feel like this plan isn't what will make me happy in the long run.

Then lets see what they say.

Don't just bring up being a cop right out of the gate. If you approach this properly and prep them for a potential change of plans you might pull this off without creating a shit storm for yourself. Ideally you want them to support you. So don't burn the bridge too quick.

That or you need to get your ass to work somewhere part time and get your own place. Start providing a world for yourself and then and only then can you make a rash decision and not fear (or care about) the backlash.

[TDMVPDPOY]

how far off are u from finishing the course?

[RedsLakers24]

You guys are going to fuck this kid up. Its not that easy to just drop a bomb like that on Mom and Dad without some kind of backlash. He's in no way or form prepared to make a rash decision like this because he's not ready to live on his own. If you were 100% self supported then I'd consider pointing you in the direction of just doing whatever it is that you want to do.

You need to start with a conversation about how you feel. Not about what you are thinking about doing. You aren't even on your own two feet so how can you just up and decide what's best for yourself without seeking out proper guidance.

Start with the basics.

1. Mom and Dad. I'm not feeling real good about how things are going at school. I'm not doing well in certain areas and after seeking out tutoring in math I'm still struggling. I wanted to try and attack this on my own because I didn't want you two to be disappointed in me. At this point I may have cost myself a semester or two of tuition because of my shortcomings. I'm starting to feel like this plan isn't what will make me happy in the long run.

Then lets see what they say.

Don't just bring up being a cop right out of the gate. If you approach this properly and prep them for a potential change of plans you might pull this off without creating a shit storm for yourself. Ideally you want them to support you. So don't burn the bridge too quick.

That or you need to get your ass to work somewhere part time and get your own place. Start providing a world for yourself and then and only then can you make a rash decision and not fear (or care about) the backlash.

Well if i tell them that i want to drop out of school and join the police force my parents wont kick me out of the house because im the Child they like the most for some reason, but they will get really, really mad and probaly make me get a part time job to help pay for the house bills and everything, its going to be hard to tell them i dont want to attend cal poly because they dont have any Criminology Classes and want to join the police, and not worry about them getting mad, im just dissapointed in myself becasue i know my dad is going to feel like shit because he really wanted me to be and engineer and was really proud of me becasue i was the first one to go to college

[DPG21920]

That is tough, but be honest with yourself: have you been putting in the work in order to succeed in school?

Also, lol Lakerfans and math.

[BacktoBasics]

Well if i tell them that i want to drop out of school and join the police force my parents wont kick me out of the house because im the Child they like the most for some reason, but they will get really, really mad and probaly make me get a part time job to help pay for the house bills and everything, its going to be hard to tell them i dont want to attend cal poly because they dont have any Criminology Classes and want to join the police, and not worry about them getting mad, im just dissapointed in myself becasue i know my dad is going to feel like shit because he really wanted me to be and engineer and was really proud of me becasue i was the first one to go to collegeEnglish and grammar classes wouldn't suck either.

[RedsLakers24]

how far off are u from finishing the course?

Well i only taken 1 Civil Engineer class, because i need to pass Calculus to get into my engineer classes i need, so im almost done with my GE's because thats most of what i been taking

[BacktoBasics]

I bet you have no problems calculating how long .03 is

[RedsLakers24]

English and grammar classes wouldn't suck either.

I Only needed 1 year of English and i passed so i dont care about grammar :lol

[tonylongoriafan]

1. Mom and Dad. I'm not feeling real good about how things are going at school. I'm not doing well in certain areas and after seeking out tutoring in math I'm still struggling. I wanted to try and attack this on my own because I didn't want you two to be disappointed in me. At this point I may have cost myself a semester or two of tuition because of my shortcomings. I'm starting to feel like this plan isn't what will make me happy in the long run.



he's screwed either way...here's mom & dad's response: "u've cost u'rself a semester or two in tuition? 1. u've only been in a college a few semesters and 2. wasn't the govenor paying for u tuition anyway! so let us get this straight, a few tough classes and u'r just gonna give up on u'r entire future? this is not acceptable son! what do u want to do, hang out on the corner with u'r other friends? what's u'r plan? where do u go from here, cause we're not going to support u'r arse forever."

here's my advice: tell u'r parents u r chaning u'r major. if u'r truely interested in law enforcement, pursue this degree or something similar like political science. don't be a cop, try to aim for a federal agent or something like that...look i know it's hard, i changed my major twice. once i was 100% set on what i wanted i did everything i could to try to finish college as quickly as possible. i think if u show u'r parents you are really willing to work at it, i'm pretty sure they'll go along with whatever u decide, cause ultimately it's u'r life.

[Kori Ellis]

he's screwed either way...here's mom & dad's response: "u've cost u'rself a semester or two in tuition? 1. u've only been in a college a few semesters and 2. wasn't the govenor paying for u tuition anyway! so let us get this straight, a few tough classes and u'r just gonna give up on u'r entire future? this is not acceptable son! what do u want to do, hang out on the corner with u'r other friends? what's u'r plan? where do u go from here, cause we're not going to support u'r arse forever."

here's my advice: tell u'r parents u r chaning u'r major. if u'r truely interested in law enforcement, persue this degree or something similar like political science. don't be a cop, try to aim for a federal agent or something like that...look i know it's hard, i changed my major twice. once i was 100% set on what i wanted i did everything i could to try to finish college as quickly as possible. i think if u show u'r parents you are really willing to work at it, i'm pretty sure they'll go along with whatever u decide, cause ultimately it's u'r life.


Just FYI -- It's annoying and nearly unreadable that you use "u'r" for "your." If anything, "u'r" is for "you're."

Thanks.

[BacktoBasics]

he's screwed either way...here's mom & dad's response: "u've cost u'rself a semester or two in tuition? 1. u've only been in a college a few semesters and 2. wasn't the govenor paying for u tuition anyway! so let us get this straight, a few tough classes and u'r just gonna give up on u'r entire future? this is not acceptable son! what do u want to do, hang out on the corner with u'r other friends? what's u'r plan? where do u go from here, cause we're not going to support u'r arse forever."

here's my advice: tell u'r parents u r chaning u'r major. if u'r truely interested in law enforcement, pursue this degree or something similar like political science. don't be a cop, try to aim for a federal agent or something like that...look i know it's hard, i changed my major twice. once i was 100% set on what i wanted i did everything i could to try to finish college as quickly as possible. i think if u show u'r parents you are really willing to work at it, i'm pretty sure they'll go along with whatever u decide, cause ultimately it's u'r life.Yeah I'm sure he's scared for nothing. Parents are always so understanding when their kids (who have never supported themselves) just up and change plans.

I'm pretty sure my passive aggressive approach would yield way better results.

You need to learn how to type in a normal way. I shouldn't have to strain to understand what you're saying.

[Kori Ellis]

Just tell your parents you are having real difficulty with the Calculus class and you are unsure if Engineering is for you. Ask them for suggestions for a tutor to help you get through the class, and then have a follow up conversation on how to go from there (switching your major, changing your career focus, etc.)

[CosmicCowboy]

English and grammar classes wouldn't suck either.

:lmao

[BacktoBasics]

Just tell your parents you are having real difficulty with the Calculus class and you are unsure if Engineering is for you. Ask them for suggestions for a tutor to help you get through the class, and then have a follow up conversation on how to go from there (switching your major, changing your career focus, etc.)I don't appreciate you making my point in 800 less words.

[RedsLakers24]

Im not going to pick another career with math, i was pretty good at math in High School but once i got to college it got really hard, i always wanted to be a cop ever since i was a kid, but i was scare because you risk your life everyday , and now that i think about it the more and more i want to be a cop, i dont want to work in an office, i want to be outside doing something different each day

[Kori Ellis]

I don't appreciate you making my point in 800 less words.

Sorry, I'll work on my filibuster skills.

[BacktoBasics]

Im not going to pick another career with math, i was pretty good at math in High School but once i got to college it got really hard, i always wanted to be a cop ever since i was a kid, but i was scare because you risk your life everyday , and now that i think about it the more and more i want to be a cop, i dont want to work in an office, i want to be outside doing something different each dayJudging by what I'm reading I think construction or simple roofing would be a good way to get outside.

[Phil E.Buster]

sorry, i'll work on my filibuster skills.

+100

[RedsLakers24]

Judging by what I'm reading I think construction or simple roofing would be a good way to get outside.

Im dont like Construction or roofing, thats why i picked civil engineering so i could tell the construction workers what to build instead of me actually building it but math just got too hard

[Kori Ellis]

Im not going to pick another career with math, i was pretty good at math in High School but once i got to college it got really hard, i always wanted to be a cop ever since i was a kid, but i was scare because you risk your life everyday , and now that i think about it the more and more i want to be a cop, i dont want to work in an office, i want to be outside doing something different each day

That's fine but you have to take things in baby steps. Obviously, you have some fear about how your parents are going to react or you wouldn't have made this thread -- you would have just gone and told them. So, make a smooth transition by being honest about not passing Calculus and then slowly move toward your point -- you want to be a cop.

If you come home and just say, "Hey I keep failing Calculus, I'm dropping out and becoming a cop instead." They will think you are being irritational. Just approach them with honesty about failing the class and then gauge their response and proceed.

[iggypop123]

change your major.

[manufan10]

I bet you have no problems calculating how long .03 is

That's painfully easy. One Derek Fisher shot. :depressed

[RedsLakers24]

That's fine but you have to take things in baby steps. Obviously, you have some fear about how your parents are going to react or you wouldn't have made this thread -- you would have just gone and told them. So, make a smooth transition by being honest about not passing Calculus and then slowly move toward your point -- you want to be a cop.

If you come home and just say, "Hey I keep failing Calculus, I'm dropping out and becoming a cop instead." They will think you are being irritational. Just approach them with honesty about failing the class and then gauge their response and proceed.

Well my mom knows im struggling and Failed twice, but my dad doesnt, and i already told my mom i was thinking about changing careers but not to a cop and my mom i know doesnt want me to be a cop because she is a mother who is overprotected over her children

[RedsLakers24]

change your major.

Yeah but its not as easy as you think, i dont have any money either, the gov wont pay for my classes anymore becasue of my GPA, so the other problem is telling them that also

[marini martini]

he's screwed either way...here's mom & dad's response: "u've cost u'rself a semester or two in tuition? 1. u've only been in a college a few semesters and 2. wasn't the govenor paying for u tuition anyway! so let us get this straight, a few tough classes and u'r just gonna give up on u'r entire future? this is not acceptable son! what do u want to do, hang out on the corner with u'r other friends? what's u'r plan? where do u go from here, cause we're not going to support u'r arse forever."

here's my advice: tell u'r parents u r chaning u'r major. if u'r truely interested in law enforcement, pursue this degree or something similar like political science. don't be a cop, try to aim for a federal agent or something like that...look i know it's hard, i changed my major twice. once i was 100% set on what i wanted i did everything i could to try to finish college as quickly as possible. i think if u show u'r parents you are really willing to work at it, i'm pretty sure they'll go along with whatever u decide, cause ultimately it's u'r life.

What kind of Govenor pays for someones tuition??? Not Arnold!!! He's good, but come on now...............................I think the OP was talking "government".:lol

[manufan10]

If you go back to school you can always get an emergency loan. You WILL have to get a job no matter what, because you're either going to have to pay for college or pay for utilities and rent with your parents. I would suggest start looking for a job that will work around your college schedule, if you decide to go. Anyways, the emergency loan will cover the classes you sign up for, and then you can make payments and pay it off before the next semester.

[RedsLakers24]

If you go back to school you can always get an emergency loan. You WILL have to get a job no matter what, because you're either going to have to pay for college or pay for utilities and rent with your parents. I would suggest start looking for a job that will work around your college schedule, if you decide to go. Anyways, the emergency loan will cover the classes you sign up for, and then you can make payments and pay it off before the next semester.

Yeah its like 1,600 per semester, i enter Sept 24, hope i can convince my parents i want to drop out of Cal Poly, or get the Money by then

[mavs>spurs2]

There's nothing wrong with pursuing a 4 year degree in criminal justice. It really opens up your options if you really want to be in law enforcement and allows you to move up the ranks to sergeant and even police chief which can make upwards of 100k a year. Also, after 3 years in the force, if you choose you can go into the FBI if you can pass their rigorous physical and mental tests. Criminal Justice degree would be alot easier than engineer and if it's something you're interested in you could really excel in it. I'm facing the same dilemma as im not sure if accounting/CPA is right for me as I don't really want to have 6 years of really tough classes. I'd advise just being a fucking man and having an adult conversation about it with your parents. Only you can find your own way through life, and i'd hate to be miserable for the rest of my life because I let someone else dictate the way I choose to live it. I'm not really sure if sitting in an office at a regular boring 9 to 5 is right for me, and it may not be right for you either.

[CuckingFunt]

I Only needed 1 year of English and i passed so i dont care about grammar :lol

Sigh.

[CuckingFunt]

What kind of Govenor pays for someones tuition??? Not Arnold!!! He's good,

Double sigh.

[ploto]

If you want your parents to respect your choice, then act like an adult.

[iggypop123]

well cal state fees went up like shit. i think my fees at long beach went up 500 bucks or something for the fall. make your decision fast cause its not so cheap anymore to pay for cal states

[clambake]

you failed twice before? your mom knows, but your dad doesn't?

this has uh oh all over it.

what happens when dad finds out that mom didn't tell him?

[ashbeeigh]

If you're still a dependent your parents had to have filled out a FAFSA for you based on their tax return last year. They have to know you're failing this class based on the reduction of your financial aid...right? I haven't been out of school that long.

I think they're letting you sweat it out until you think it's time to tell them.

[da_suns_fan]

Im not going to pick another career with math, i was pretty good at math in High School but once i got to college it got really hard, i always wanted to be a cop ever since i was a kid, but i was scare because you risk your life everyday , and now that i think about it the more and more i want to be a cop, i dont want to work in an office, i want to be outside doing something different each day

I agree with another poster. Drop this whole "Associates degree" garbage. Youre way too young to be giving up on college. Dont even think of taking a break. You will NEVER go back. Also, I guarantee you missed classes and didnt turn in assignments if you got a D+ in Calc I and that tells me youre mind isnt in the right place.

If you want to be a cop, go for the criminial justice degree. However, dont expect it to be easy. You'll probably have to write a crap load of papers and get Ds in those classes if you dont change your attitude. I know Calc was tough (I had to take three calc courses for my engineering degree), but college is NOT HIGH SCHOOL. If you want to get better grades follows these rules:


DSF's guide to getting As in college:

1) Make friends in your classes. You will need them if you want to graduate. Get their numbers, email addresses etc.

2) Dont skip class. I dont care how stupid or easy you think the class is.

3) Missing or late assignment submission is a joke and in-excusable. If you get a zero on anything you just screwed yourself and deserve no sympathy.

4) Keep everything. Every assignment, every quiz, every in-class exercise etc. This will be your best material for exams.

5) Google is your friend. You will learn more googling stuff yourself than you will from your professors. In fact, most of college is teaching yourself stuff. Thats why having friends in the same class is so important.

6) Old exams from previous semesters are GOLD. Ask your firends if theyve previously taken the class. Ask them if they have friends who have previously taken the class etc. Even when the exams arent the same questions, its gets you in the right mind set for the types of questions that will be asked.

And if you need motivation to stay in college, just go here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Household_income_in_the_United_States

[da_suns_fan]

Yeah but its not as easy as you think, i dont have any money either, the gov wont pay for my classes anymore becasue of my GPA, so the other problem is telling them that also

If you are in community college, how much could it be? You get those types of loans (someone else mentioned FASFA which EVERYONE qualifies for) easy.

If money is really that big of an issue, join the Air Foce Reserve. You will get:

1) LOTS of money for college

2) Get to take a break for a few months (which I said Im against but in this context it is good...everyone in your unit will just expect you to be in college since youre so young)

3) Get to see places like Japan, Guam, Europe etc for two weeks during the summer (during your annual tour)

4) Learn a trade that you can fall back on (one of the most common "jobs" is Security Forces which is a "cop" but I would NOT recommend this one as you'll probably end up in Iraq or Afganistan for a year...stick with logistics or something with a lesser deployment rate, I NEVER got depolyed in my six years which included this Iraq war).

[PakiDan]

RedsLakers has officially received enough advice to effectively resolve his problem. Any "but" posts after this point will be considered whining and will be subsequently dismissed as such.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++++
V

[Rogue]

Im sorry i just dont know what to do, ok here is the story, im attending Cal Poly University and i just finish my second year, i cant pass my damm Calculus class, i took it three times and have gotten a D+ every single time, im lying to my parents about the classes im taking because i dont want them to know i am failing, and i cant take any engineering classes because i need to pass that Calculus class in order to get into my classes i need, ok i want to get out of the Engineer career and be a police officer, but i dont know how to tell my parents, i know if i tell them they will be so dissapointed, PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE
commit suicide.

[Rodriguez]

Nope im Mexican, and yeah right now im 19 yrs old and living at home with my parents so i dont pay rent or anything, the only thing i pay for is for my books, Car, Gym and Cell Phone
There EXIST differences between the looks of Mexicans and the idiots of an inferior race, and even Mexicans are generally not as dumb as you appear to be. Elementally it was not your fault to be an idiot of an inferior race, anyway you can't choose your race or your gender, or anything naturally you were born with. However, dishonesty is a different story, and that's also what makes your race inferior. :toast

[BadOdor]

Do you really want to become a cop, or did you convince yourself that after repeatedly failing calc?

I've had a similar problem, I did pretty badly my first year and convinced myself college wasn't for me, decided to join the army. As it ends up, I had a long talk with my parents, it wasn't easy but we solved the problem, and now I'm back on track, will be getting my BA in accounting from UCSB in a year.

[exstatic]

Reds - the probability of this blowing over and your parents NOT finding out approaches zero. You KNOW they're going to find out. Wouldn't you rather it come from you during a discussion?

[holcs50]

LOL, i like the title of this thread. Anyways, like some others have said when going gets tough you convince yourself you can't do something and figure out alternatives. I got finished with majors in criminal justice and Public management and if your serious about being a cop, you should finish out college - try for a criminal justice major-along the way though you have to keep an open mind, hence the reason i did PM also. You will most likely change opinions about your future a few times...the most important thing is stay with it. You should finish college, and work to find a major your interested in. I can relate though about giving up, i hit a rough spot in my grad school, and seriously wanted to just call it quits and had convinced myself it was stupid what I was doing, didn't like it, and fed up with school, along with other excuses -whatever...step back for awhile and figure it out. Nothing worthwhile in life comes easy, you gotta work a little for it, don't give up and give whatever you do a chance-meaning put in the work and keep a positive attitude you can do it....fuck the negativety, that will only lead to you slacking and seeking out alternative things that in reality are just an excuse because you didn't give something your all

[DMX7]

Well i only taken 1 Civil Engineer class, because i need to pass Calculus to get into my engineer classes i need, so im almost done with my GE's because thats most of what i been taking

Engineering is all about Calc. You'll probably need at least Calc 2 and Calc 3, so you may as well change your major or drop out.

Don't lie to your parents though, the more the lies build up, the worse off you're going to be.