Need Some Opinions

[PakiDan]

My sister has two teenage daughters. 14 and 12. She is really involved in her 14 year olds 'boyfriend' life. She texts the boy her daughter is interested in and visa versa. According to her, which I believe, nothing inappropriate. I believe her. Well, this weekend, she is taking her daughters to a soccer tourny in out of town. They are going to have to stay in a hotel. She is bringing the 'boyfriend' with them, and they are all going to share a room. She says that she is the adult chaperone, and nothing inappropriate will happen....

I happen to think the whole situation is INAPPROPRIATE. I don't care if it's harmless or not, I think a 40 year old woman has no business texting a 14 year old boy... 2. I won't even start on the hotel thing....

My question is this.... am I wrong?? Is this ok? I need some serious feedback so I can approach her.

[td4mvp21]

The hotel thing is VERY odd; how the hell are they gonna do sleeping arrangements? Very, very odd IMO.

[mookie2001]

yeah i dont really get inviting him on a trip

the whole point of having a teenage daughter is you can stop her from being a slut, not put her on the road to teenage motherhood


either way this dude probably thinks hes the return of the mack

[Summers]

I agree with you, Paki. Even if nothing flirtatious is happening between them, I think it's inappropriate.

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

Where's this lil' dude's parents? Other family? No way any of my nephews would be be texting 40 year old women, let alone sleeping in the same room after the texting trist.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

[PakiDan]

Thanks guys... I'm going to show this to her... Which will probably result in WWIII.. Hope she realizes its cause I love her.

[eyeh8u]

thats hot,


for real though, you should leave her alone, she is not going to take your advice.

[eyeh8u]

I loved those type of moms when I was a teen. They pretty much helped me screw their daughters. How old is the boy? That would be my main concern if I was in your shoes. I had a couple of moms hit on me when I was like 16-18.

sure you did

[PM5K]

What is the context of the texts?

[Whisky Dog]

Is she one of those "trying to be my kids' cool friend/mom"?

[marini martini]

Okay Pak..........I'm a going to step back & look at it from an unbiased point of view. Your Sis is gonna say the BF is gonna sleep on the floor, whatever. If that be the case, then cool.

The realist in me says, WTF are his parents??? Are they going up to the tourney with ya'll, and get a room for them & sonny boy???

If not................I guess your sis might very well be a grandma at 41!

Cheers!!!:toast

[Dro210]

lol, wow... Some of yall are ridiculous


1. This whole thing is so sad and so funny at the same time.... you aren't really gonna take advice on something like this from the internet are you? Then you're gonna use it as exhibit A in your faggy little lecture? lmao... "Look at what my e-friends are saying about this".... I'm sure she'll really respect you and take you seriously

2. I don't see whats so "inappropriate" about it

She's involved in her kid's life, that's a good thing. She's smart enough to know that her daughter is probably gonna have a boyfriend, so instead of having it going on behind her back, she's able to be involved and supervise it.

Saying that she's texting him is a vague statement... but i don't see the big deal in that either. Everybody texts these days. And if she's involved in her daughter's life like that, and he's always around, she probably looks at him as almost one of her own kids.

I'm sure the guy will sleep on the floor

[Whisky Dog]

Buy your niece some rubbers. She's gonna need them with a mom like that.

[Tits McGee]

It maybe an innocent, best intentioned gesture on her part, but pushing so much togetherness on 14 yr olds could be dangerous. It's probably a first boyfriend thing so it would be wiser, in the long run, to teach moderation.

[Tits McGee]

And I hope your relationship with your sis is a strong one, because unless she asked for your advice, she'll probably tell you to go to hell. Good luck.

[Frenzy]

is she a milf? oh well.. dude it most likely loving it. If i have a daughter(which i don't plan to)...i'd be strict but... texting her friends? negative.

[lebomb]

The mother of my first g/f at 15yrs old.................allowed me to sleep at their house sometimes if it got late...........on the couch no less. My g/f would sneak from her bedroom over to the couch and I she would lay in front of me, and we would screw spoon style right then and there. The end.

[manufan10]

it maybe an innocent, best intentioned gesture on her part, but pushing so much togetherness on 14 yr olds could be dangerous. It's probably a first boyfriend thing so it would be wiser, in the long run, to teach moderation.

qft

[BacktoBasics]

She's probably just trying to keep a tight hold on things. Unless you know exactly what the text is about you should assume that you're being too presumptuous.

I've had many sleepovers in my early teens. Wasn't a big deal. No one got pregnant or diseased.

Now if you find out that they all hopped in the bed together for the night. You might be concerned. If she's texting him inappropriate things or flirting openly. You should take notice.

I think further investigation would be prudent before a confrontation.

[PakiDan]

lol, wow... Some of yall are ridiculous


1. This whole thing is so sad and so funny at the same time.... you aren't really gonna take advice on something like this from the internet are you? Then you're gonna use it as exhibit A in your faggy little lecture? lmao... "Look at what my e-friends are saying about this".... I'm sure she'll really respect you and take you seriously

2. I don't see whats so "inappropriate" about it

She's involved in her kid's life, that's a good thing. She's smart enough to know that her daughter is probably gonna have a boyfriend, so instead of having it going on behind her back, she's able to be involved and supervise it.

Saying that she's texting him is a vague statement... but i don't see the big deal in that either. Everybody texts these days. And if she's involved in her daughter's life like that, and he's always around, she probably looks at him as almost one of her own kids.

I'm sure the guy will sleep on the floor

I respect most of what you said.... and I'm asking for advice here, because I DO know alot of the posters here.... and I welcome advice from those that I don't... but thanks! I appreciate what you had to say.

[bigzak25]

My sister has two teenage daughters. 14 and 12. She is really involved in her 14 year olds 'boyfriend' life. She texts the boy her daughter is interested in and visa versa. According to her, which I believe, nothing inappropriate. I believe her. Well, this weekend, she is taking her daughters to a soccer tourny in out of town. They are going to have to stay in a hotel. She is bringing the 'boyfriend' with them, and they are all going to share a room. She says that she is the adult chaperone, and nothing inappropriate will happen....

I happen to think the whole situation is INAPPROPRIATE. I don't care if it's harmless or not, I think a 40 year old woman has no business texting a 14 year old boy... 2. I won't even start on the hotel thing....

My question is this.... am I wrong?? Is this ok? I need some serious feedback so I can approach her.




just tell your sister that you can't wait til your boys are old enough so you can have a reason to start texting 14 year old girls and get them in a hotel room in another city...with purely innocent intentions of course. maybe she'll get the hint.

[PakiDan]

She's probably just trying to keep a tight hold on things. Unless you know exactly what the text is about you should assume that you're being too presumptuous.

I've had many sleepovers in my early teens. Wasn't a big deal. No one got pregnant or diseased.

Now if you find out that they all hopped in the bed together for the night. You might be concerned. If she's texting him inappropriate things or flirting openly. You should take notice.

I think further investigation would be prudent before a confrontation.

Thanks! I think you're right.

[lebomb]

Seriously though..............my g/fs mother was wonderful and had great intentions, but little did she know, she gave me the combination to her daughters panties by letting us spend the night together under the same roof. Looking back on it, I would never allow my daughter to have her b/f sleep over. NO WAY!!!

[Kori Ellis]

What does she text the boyfriend to say?

I can't imagine what the mother would have to say to the boyfriend via text. If she wanted to ask him something, wouldn't she just tell the daughter to ask him? :wtf

If she texts something like, "Well pick you up at 8" then I understand that (maybe?)... but if she is just texting for conversation, then that's beyond strange.

[JoeChalupa]

Seriously though..............my g/fs mother was wonderful and had great intentions, but little did she know, she gave me the combination to her daughters panties by letting us spend the night together under the same roof. Looking back on it, I would never allow my daughter to have her b/f sleep over. NO WAY!!!

+1 I don't do the "friends" kind of parenting and I don't buy in to the "well, I'd rather have her have sex here.." argument either. But that is just me.

[JoeChalupa]

Oh, and there is no way I'd be texting some 14-15 yr old girl if my son had her over. In today's world, that is playing with fire. Innocent as it may be.

[I. Hustle]

If your sis is hot then leave it alone that way he can say he's been a MF'er since 14.
If she is a wild hog then stop it right now. Bros before hoes man.








j/k

[manufan10]

I agree with most everyone on here. I do find it VERY strange that she's texting this kid. She may have just reasons for doing so, but if someone sees the phone or the kid brags about talking to your sister some bad assumptions can and will be made. If I was in her shoes, I wouldn't be texting the kid; I would have my daughter do it. I would also NEVER ask her boyfriend to spend the night. Someone said to investigate it a little deeper before confronting her, and I think that's a great idea. However, I would also hint at her to stop texting the kid. I don't think it's a very good idea for her to be doing that. Let her daughter do the talking.

[clambake]

it's creepy.

[mexicanjunior]

I have more of a problem with the texting than the hotel room...

[mrsmaalox]

I have a 13yr old daughter and when a boyfriend pops up (gawd I hate how that sounds!) there will definitely be no sleepovers happening. I totally agree with the poster who suggested moderation; different kids have different emotional/psychological development rates and pushing them together might be risky. Also what happens when the kids break up, as they undoubtedly will? Is she going to be able to remain neutral and be the support her daughter needs? I may be wrong, but I think she's teaching her daughter how to "hold on to a man" by facilitating the situation, and that won't help her daughter in the long run.

[manufan10]

I have a 13yr old daughter and when a boyfriend pops up (gawd I hate how that sounds!)

:lmao

[Bigzax]

need pics of your sister paki. :tu

[Shelly]

What does she text the boyfriend to say?

I can't imagine what the mother would have to say to the boyfriend via text. If she wanted to ask him something, wouldn't she just tell the daughter to ask him? :wtf

If she texts something like, "Well pick you up at 8" then I understand that (maybe?)... but if she is just texting for conversation, then that's beyond strange.

But why does the mom have to text at all? If it's a, "We'll pick you up at 8" situation, you'd think she'd tell the daughter to text him.

As far as the hotel room, I think everyone is assuming they're getting one bed? (or did Paki post that?). If she got a room with two beds, then the mom could sleep with the daughter (with one eye open the whole night) and the BF could have the other bed.

But I still think it's strange your sister is constantly texting the BF. And even if it's innocent, the BF could totally take it as something more.

[to21]

This is hypothetical....

What happens when they break up and the kid says he was raped just to be a dick. Now there's proof they stayed in the same room and there's phone records of her sending text messages to him on a regular basis......doesn't look good.

I work at a school district and the first thing they teach us is even if you have the best of intentions towards kiddos, it's always safer just to not put yourself in those kinds of situations....like being in the classroom alone with a kid, or making comments on how they're dressed....etc.

[mrsmaalox]

But why does the mom have to text at all? If it's a, "We'll pick you up at 8" situation, you'd think she'd tell the daughter to text him.

As far as the hotel room, I think everyone is assuming they're getting one bed? (or did Paki post that?). If she got a room with two beds, then the mom could sleep with the daughter (with one eye open the whole night) and the BF could have the other bed.

But I still think it's strange your sister is constantly texting the BF. And even if it's innocent, the BF could totally take it as something more.

You're probably right about the hotel room being an innocent thing, But it's odd to me that she is so comfortable being in that close of quarters with an unrelated 14 yr old boy. No way in hell, except maybe some extreme emergency situation, would I ever sleep in the same room with an unrelated teenage boy! It would be uncomfortable even with a girl--I'm just too private like that.

[Shelly]

You're probably right about the hotel room being an innocent thing, But it's odd to me that she is so comfortable being in that close of quarters with an unrelated 14 yr old boy. No way in hell, except maybe some extreme emergency situation, would I ever sleep in the same room with an unrelated teenage boy! It would be uncomfortable even with a girl--I'm just too private like that.

I agree with that--It is strange. I meant to put that in my original post.

[ShoogarBear]

I'm going to show this to her

Oooh, I'm not so sure I would do that.

[ShoogarBear]

need pics of your sister paki. :tu

Fo sho.

And her digits.

[Shelly]

Paki-

I agree with not showing your sister this thread. I would just say to her, that while you know it's completely innocent on her end, the boy may not thik so. He could eventually start reading this totally the wrong way, not to mention his parents (if they're even aware that she's constantly texting him). Just tell her you're looking out for her because in today's day and age, you can't be too careful.

[TDMVPDPOY]

that kid if his lucky, could be milfhunter...

[ploto]

I get that they are going to a soccer tournament and the bf is going presumably to watch his gf play. It must be over 2 days so they are staying at a hotel. The boy's parents, I would hope, know her and that she is taking him along for this out of town trip. She can not put the boy in his own hotel room. So, I suppose I understand to an extent that they are all staying in one hotel room, and I would also suppose there are multiple beds in the room. If the parents decide it is OK, then I do not really see where it is the business of anyone else. I remember people who took their kid's bf or gf with them on vacation, but they were older.

The texting, though, creates for me an inappropriate type of connection between the mom and the daughter's bf because it is interpersonal interaction just between the two of them and without the daughter. That is where I have an issue. Sure, if he calls the house for the daughter and the mom answers the phone, and they converse for a minute to be polite. But personal texting simply between the two crosses the line for me.

[Summers]

She can not put the boy in his own hotel room.

Why not? That's exactly what I'd do. And I wouldn't pay for it. If he wants to come see the daughter play soccer, his parents can pay for a room. Inviting the boy to share a room with them just seems contrived to me, like one of those, "Oh, look, I've dropped my pencil" situations. If the mom isn't hoping to hook up with the boyfriend, then she needs to be aware that that is how it appears to other people. My boys are little, but I would never allow them to sleep over with a grown woman, and I wouldn't be shy about getting in her face adn telling her to keep her milf paws off my boy.

[mrsmaalox]

Why not? That's exactly what I'd do. And I wouldn't pay for it. If he wants to come see the daughter play soccer, his parents can pay for a room. Inviting the boy to share a room with them just seems contrived to me, like one of those, "Oh, look, I've dropped my pencil" situations. If the mom isn't hoping to hook up with the boyfriend, then she needs to be aware that that is how it appears to other people. My boys are little, but I would never allow them to sleep over with a grown woman, and I wouldn't be shy about getting in her face adn telling her to keep her milf paws off my boy.

See that's what I thought too. Very contrived. Like how is she going to chaperone when she needs a shower? Leave the door open? "Ooops I dropped the soap":lol

[JoeChalupa]

She should at least be staying in a suite where she and her daughter can sleep in the bedroom and she can close the door while he sleeps on the sofa bed in the other room. That way there is no spooning going on during the night.

[BlackSwordsMan]

3some with the mom and daughter by the age of 14
hot

[ploto]

I surely would not do any of this at all, but I am not these kids' parents. I am not the cool mom, far from it, but I do not think it is my right to tell other parents what they can and can not allow with their own kids. If both sets of parents agree, then that is their choice.

[mrsmaalox]

She should at least be staying in a suite where she and her daughter can sleep in the bedroom and she can close the door while he sleeps on the sofa bed in the other room. That way there is no spooning going on during the night.

Exactly. A suite is the minimum she should do. I have 2 sons age 15 and 12, and a 13yr old daughter and since the oldest was around 12 we've only stayed in suites when we travel. Everyone gets some privacy and I feel safer than having 2 rooms. We have a family reunion coming up next weekend and me and my brood won't be staying at the hotel where all the other guests are staying because they don't have suites available.

[mrsmaalox]

I surely would not do any of this at all, but I am not these kids' parents. I am not the cool mom, far from it, but I do not think it is my right to tell other parents what they can and can not allow with their own kids. If both sets of parents agree, then that is their choice.

But we're not telling anyone what to do with their kids, we were asked for our opinions and that's all we're doing here, giving opinions.

[spurster]

Getting a separate room for the boyfriend would be worse. How is Mom going to keep her daughter out of his room the whole time?

[ploto]

Getting a separate room for the boyfriend would be worse.

I am trying to figure out how people who think a girl would sneak out of her bed and into a bed with her bf with her mom right there in the same room is somehow going to be deterred by having to go into another room to do it.

[I. Hustle]

So we still haven't gotten what we were looking for here. What's this mom look like? That is going to be the deciding factor on the advise I give. Send them family pics.

[PakiDan]

I know my niece is a good girl... and I trust that nothing would 'happen' ... I'm more concerned with the precident and example she is setting. I don't know... I just feel weird about the whole thing... and yes my sister is very pretty, and she has an explosive temper. I don't know how to approach her about this... or if I even should...

[Dro210]

You shouldn't.... my bad for my earlier post in here, i shouldn't have been so cold-hearted about it... but I am right

I don't live on a highhorse, or in a quarantined lifestyle in fear of every little bad thing happening... I live in the real world, and this is a perfectly normal situation... trust me... and more importantly, trust your family.