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leemajors
09-04-2009, 02:21 PM
Might be the best twitter feed out there:

http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays
DisAsTerBot
09-04-2009, 02:36 PM
:lol
Spursfan092120
09-04-2009, 02:39 PM
Who's that chick? Kate Beckinsale? Well you tell Kate Beckinsale that she sucks...LMAO..
CosmicCowboy
09-04-2009, 02:42 PM
:lol


"My flight lands at 9:30 on Sunday...You want to watch what? What the fuck is mad men? I'm a mad man if you don't pick me the hell up."
Spursfan092120
09-04-2009, 02:56 PM
"You need to flush the toilet more than once...No, YOU, YOU specifically need to. You know what, use a different toilet. This is my toilet."
LMAO
BacktoBasics
09-04-2009, 02:58 PM
I hate twitter but those one liners are fucking GOLD.
Imposter
09-04-2009, 02:58 PM
I might be in the minority here but I don't see what's so funny about it. It's just a vulgar old man.
Strike
09-04-2009, 03:03 PM
"The dog is not bored, it's a fucking dog. It's not like he's waiting for me to give him a fucking rubix cube. He's a god damned dog."


"Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn't stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down."

:lmao
Strike
09-04-2009, 03:04 PM
I might be in the minority here but I don't see what's so funny about it. It's just a vulgar old man.

Go away, Debbie Downer.
Spursfan092120
09-04-2009, 03:08 PM
I might be in the minority here but I don't see what's so funny about it. It's just a vulgar old man.
yep...you're in the minority.
BacktoBasics
09-04-2009, 03:10 PM
"They serve Jim Beam on airplanes. Tastes like piss. You wouldn't be able to tell the difference, because you drink shit. I don't."
angel_luv
09-04-2009, 03:10 PM
yep...you're in the minority.

Along with me.
I. Hustle
09-04-2009, 03:11 PM
I might be in the minority here but I don't see what's so funny about it. It's just a vulgar old man.

Definately the minority... and I hate minorities you f'n fag piece of shit.
I. Hustle
09-04-2009, 03:11 PM
just kidding don't get all butt hurt.
marini martini
09-04-2009, 04:11 PM
"The dog is an outside dog. You want an inside dog, you go get your own inside."

:lmao
baseline bum
09-04-2009, 05:01 PM
I'm having a Makers Mark, you want one? What? 7up? I ain't mixing fucking makers with 7up. Might as well put a lil' fucking umbrella in it

:lmao
manufan10
09-04-2009, 05:12 PM
“You touched that god damned biscuit. Bullshit, I saw you touch it….I don’t give a shit about your evidence, this isn’t a court of law."

:lol
manufan10
09-04-2009, 05:13 PM
"It's just a fucking june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a testicle attacks you?"

:lol
manufan10
09-04-2009, 05:14 PM
"These kids are all fat. I remember when you were in little league.... You were fat."

:lmao
phyzik
09-04-2009, 05:17 PM
"It's just a fucking june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a testicle attacks you?"

:lol

I might have to use that one.

Nothing funnier than a salty old man who doesnt give a fuck about political correctness.
ginobili's bald spot
09-04-2009, 05:23 PM
I might be in the minority here but I don't see what's so funny about it. It's just a vulgar old man.

That's because you don't have a sense of humor. Now GTFO.
EricB
09-04-2009, 07:28 PM
:lmao

That might be the funniest thing I've ever read.

:lmao :lmao @ the brother's baby.
mrcoon29
09-04-2009, 09:18 PM
Ok..his Dad is funny!
Mel_13
09-09-2009, 08:03 AM
"Who in the fuck is tila tequila? Is she a stripper?...That's her? Yeah, that's a stripper, son, I don't give a shit what you say."
spursfan09
09-09-2009, 09:38 AM
It's funny, but there are so many quotes. I'm just kind of picturing the dude following his dad around with a recorder, "Oh wait dad, can you repeat that? I need to write it word for word on my twitter"
benefactor
09-09-2009, 04:52 PM
:lmao
BlackSwordsMan
09-09-2009, 05:16 PM
"Here's a strawberry, sorry for farting near you...Hey! Either take the strawberry and stop bitching, or no strawberry, that's the deal."
mFFL03
09-09-2009, 05:39 PM
I've been following this guy for over a month....truly hilarious stuff
Spursfan092120
09-09-2009, 08:57 PM
"You don't know shit, and you're not shit. Don't take that the wrong way, it was meant to cheer you up."
"Here's a strawberry, sorry for farting near you...Hey! Either take the strawberry and stop bitching, or no strawberry, that's the deal."
"The worst thing you can be is a liar....Okay fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2"
"Who in the fuck is tila tequila? Is she a stripper?...That's her? Yeah, that's a stripper, son, I don't give a shit what you say."
"Everybody loves that Da Vinci code book. Bullshit, it sucks. I read it. It's for all the dummies."

This shit is HILARIOUS!! lol