Rant about Thank you notes

[ploto]

I am very tired of not receiving thank you notes for wedding gifts. I have sent about 7 or 8 wedding gifts for which I have ever received a note of acknowledgement, and it is getting very irritating. There is no excuse for not sitting down after you return from your honeymoon and working through this task. The person took a lot longer to select your gift, wrap it, send it, or deliver it than it takes you to write a couple of sentences thanking them for it. People are left wondering if you never got it or if you are simply ungrateful.

[CubanMustGo]

OMG, I actually agree with ploto on something. If someone goes to the trouble to get you a wedding gift, the least your lazy ass can do is send them a short thank you note.

[Strike]

Get over it or stop giving wedding gifts.

[Twisted_Dawg]

I was a groomsmen in a friends wedding in Houston a few years ago. He (or his fiance) picked out a very expensive tuxedo we groomsmen had to rent. Then we had to stay at this very expensive hotel for two nights in Houston as they wanted us all together and near them. We had to drive to and from Houston. Then add in a more expensive gift than we normally would have given. I think the whole gig cost us about $750.00. I think they finally sent thank you cards like 10 months later explaining the delay on just be so busy with their new life.

Ridiculous.

[mookie2001]

I was a groomsmen in a friends wedding in Houston a few years ago. He (or his fiance) picked out a very expensive tuxedo we groomsmen had to rent. Then we had to stay at this very expensive hotel for two nights in Houston as they wanted us all together and near them. We had to drive to and from Houston. Then add in a more expensive gift than we normally would have given. I think the whole gig cost us about $750.00. I think they finally sent thank you cards like 10 months later explaining the delay on just be so busy with their new life.

Ridiculous.i hate that fucking shit

what about those bastards who get married on a tropical island, OK meet yall there!

[balli]

I'm regularly guilty of not sending thank you notes. I'd rather just not get gifts, but as it is, I probably have a few relatives who I've offended.

It's pretty shitty for someone to like register at Macys for a wedding or something (ask you to give them a specific gift) and then not send a thank you.

I have a friend who got married in Mexico a couple months back and got all bent that about 2/3rds of his friends didn't go. First off, GTF over it, weddings are for girls to dream about and enjoy; your supposedly male ass should just be concentrating on maintaining a good enough alcohol buzz to get through the ceremony. Secondly, nobody gives a fuck about your wedding to the point that they're going to happily plunk down $1500 in travel expenses. If people want to get married out of state, fine, but the minute they bitch because nobody RSVP's they're assholes.

[ChumpDumper]

The trick is to never to never be liked enough to be invited to anything.

[Drachen]

My fiance and I are getting married in a little more than a month. I already have thank you cards purchased because it is just how I was raised. We are getting married here in SA, and though we registered at Bed Bath and Beyond, we also registered at Target.

I am just really really pissed that initially I said that we would save and put together a wedding for around 7k, her mom laughed and said that it would be much more than that and that they would pay for everything, except for venue drinks, and something else (I forgot). I said ok, give me a budget, and despite my persistence, they never did. This was a year ago. I paid for my stuff and got it done in April. Then it started with them. they started saying that we had to pay for this, and that and they were running out of money. OF COURSE THEY WERE, they spent 1100 on a mariachi band for ONE HOUR, and 900 on freakin chocolate fountains that we didn't want (we wanted a fruit spread for 150, but oh no, their side of the family wouldn't eat the fruit so we had to sugar it up!). As it stands I am going to be putting about 7500 into this wedding while I had been budgeting only 5k for this whole year. If they would have told me that they were running out of money more than 2.5 months before the wedding, maybe I would have been able to do something about it. So the whole end result is I now have $0 for our honeymoon. I am freakin pissed, that is the only part (other than the marriage) that I have cared about. I have two options, I can take out a loan for this (horribly financially irresponsible), or I can sell all of my stock (which would piss me off).

I know that I just hijacked the thread a little, but I saw rant, and wedding in the same thread and had to go off. I am never EVER doing anything financially related with them again, they are really untrustworthy.

[Strike]

I'm regularly guilty of not sending thank you notes. I'd rather just not get gifts, but as it is, I probably have a few relatives who I've offended.

It's pretty shitty for someone to like register at Macys for a wedding or something (ask you to give them a specific gift) and then not send a thank you.

I have a friend who got married in Mexico a couple months back and got all bent that about 2/3rds of his friends didn't go. First off, GTF over it, weddings are for girls to dream about and enjoy; your supposedly male ass should just be concentrating on maintaining a good enough alcohol buzz to get through the ceremony. Secondly, nobody gives a fuck about your wedding to the point that they're going to happily plunk down $1500 in travel expenses. If people want to get married out of state, fine, but the minute they bitch because nobody RSVP's they're assholes.

My Mom invited some of her friends to my wedding and they all gave me and my wife money "for starting out". I thanked them all personally at the reception. Later, my Mom told me they all got their panties in a bunch because I didn't send them all thank you notes. Sorry they got upset over a piece of mail but in the first place, I thanked them all personally. Second, I wasn't the one that invited them.

My wedding cost less than $3000. I didn't make anyone in the wedding party pay for a thing. I paid for the tux rental, bridesmaid's dresses, food, drinks, etc. One of my groomsmen (a friend for 20+ years) later told me that the wedding he attended as a groomsman one week later costed a mutual friend over 10 grand and mine was better. I don't know why but whenever I think about that it always makes me chuckle. I've had friends who invited me to weddings and expected me to pay big dollars to rent a tux, buy an expensive gift, all that. I always say "Sorry, I won't be able to make it." When they ask why, my answer is always the same: "I can't afford to help you pay for your wedding."

[Sense]

Get over it or stop giving wedding gifts.

[ploto]

Get over it or stop giving wedding gifts.

There is such a thing as courtesy. For all of these weddings, they were out of town and I have no way of knowing if they even got the gift that was sent. Most of the time I go through the wedding registry, pick something out, charge it, and have it sent to them. I have no clue if they ever got it. It would be simple, especially when someone has sent a gift to you, to let them know through a simple thank you note that you received it.


I wasn't the one that invited them.
That is my favorite excuse of all. You are the ONE who received the gifts.

I was told by a bride that she only sent thank you notes to the people she invited and that it was up to her parents, the groom, and his parents to send thank you's to the people THEY invited.

[Strike]

That is my favorite excuse of all. You are the ONE who received the gifts.

And I was also the one that thanked each of them personally. So did my wife.


There is such a thing as courtesy. For all of these weddings, they were out of town and I have no way of knowing if they even got the gift that was sent. Most of the time I go through the wedding registry, pick something out, charge it, and have it sent to them. I have no clue if they ever got it. It would be simple, especially when someone has sent a gift to you, to let them know through a simple thank you note that you received it.

Ok, I will partially take back my original post. If you had to send it to them and not give it personally, some kind of acknowledgement is the right thing to do.

[balli]

Y'know what my thank you note is? I give damn good gifts. When people are deserving I spend time, energy and money to give not just good, but great gifts...

That's how I show my appreciation for a good gift, I give one back. If anybody I know gives me a gift and doesn't get a good one back and/or a thank you note, it's because I'm not entirely thankful. In general I have almost all of what I really want or need; in fact, I'd rather not get gifts from people I wouldn't go out of my way to give a great gift to myself. From such people, a gift is a petty inconvenience and an unwanted bother.

[Sense]

I feel sorry for most people that get married... the gift is the most some of them will get out of it. So feel good... I for one didn't thank anyone.. most of the gifts were intended for my wife.. and now that we are separated.. I'm keeping them. Or most of them.

I won't thank her family. fuck that.

[angel_luv]

I am sorry that your wedding was so taken out of your hands, Drachen. That seems to happen at least somewhat in every wedding that occurs- small consolation, I know!

Please don't let anyone's stupidity and what is most likely misguided good intentions steal any of the joy of this experience from you.

I wish you all the best!

And yes, I agree it is important to thank people for giving you a gift. I personally send out thank you notes as my way of showing appreciation. But I think that a thank you phone call is also a nice way of showing appreciation and is a better option for those who are not the best at writing cards, because some people are not.

[Drachen]

well it kinda already is messed up because I am either going to have to skip the honeymoon, or I am going to have to make a financially stupid decision to go on it. This all doesn't even take into account that I don't know how the hell to get a bachelor party together. I really dont care about the wedding plans, it could have had unicorns and pink elephants for all I care, until it encroaches on me and the time I get to spend with my new bride. The wedding is completely unimportant, it is the marriage that counts.

[CubanMustGo]

Your best man should set up the bachelor party.

Good luck with the wedding and many happy returns to you and your new bride.

[clambake]

well it kinda already is messed up because I am either going to have to skip the honeymoon, or I am going to have to make a financially stupid decision to go on it. This all doesn't even take into account that I don't know how the hell to get a bachelor party together. I really dont care about the wedding plans, it could have had unicorns and pink elephants for all I care, until it encroaches on me and the time I get to spend with my new bride. The wedding is completely unimportant, it is the marriage that counts.

her father should be paying for the wedding. all of it.

you should not be arranging a bachelor party. the best man should do that.

[clambake]

your best man should set up the bachelor party.

+100%

[Bigzax]

well it kinda already is messed up because I am either going to have to skip the honeymoon, or I am going to have to make a financially stupid decision to go on it. This all doesn't even take into account that I don't know how the hell to get a bachelor party together. I really dont care about the wedding plans, it could have had unicorns and pink elephants for all I care, until it encroaches on me and the time I get to spend with my new bride. The wedding is completely unimportant, it is the marriage that counts.



your in a tough spot buddy, but just do you best to make sure your woman has a wonderful day and as for honeymoon, discuss it with your wife to be and either have a 'budget' honeymoon, or if it's really important to both of you and you want to go someplace special, do the dreaded loan for air and hotel, but don't go crazy and you'll be alright.

goodluck and congrats!

[manufan10]

her father should be paying for the wedding. all of it.

you should not be arranging a bachelor party. the best man should do that.

I always thought it was this way. Then the grooms family pays for reception dinner.

[CubanMustGo]

i always thought it was this way. Then the grooms family pays for reception dinner.

+100

[Bigzax]

and thankyou notes are for chics.

they're just a big hassle frankly, but i understand the etiquette.


ploto, do your gifts have anything personalized on them to show that they are from you?

or are people just receiving packages with something from their registry and they have no idea who from...

[Drachen]

Your best man should set up the bachelor party.

Good luck with the wedding and many happy returns to you and your new bride.

He lives in Pennsylvania, oh well, I guess I will skip this too.

[BRHornet45]

sons I saw a study not long ago that linked this exact situation directly to politics. The study consisted of 1,000 newlyweds couples and asked them two simple questions.

1. Did you send out thank you notes for your wedding gifts?

2. What is your political party affiliation?

the results showed that 411 out of the 1,000 couples did not send out thank you notes. It also exposed that for those who did not send out thank you notes the results were 77% Democratic, 14% Independent, 9% Republican.

sons isn't it funny how the Democrats always feel like they are entitled to everything? How ya like that one Manny? ungrateful bastards.

[JudynTX]

This was an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. :lol

[CubanMustGo]

sons I saw a study not long ago that linked this exact situation directly to politics. The study consisted of 1,000 newlyweds couples and asked them two simple questions.

1. Did you send out thank you notes for your wedding gifts?

2. What is your political party affiliation?

the results showed that 411 out of the 1,000 couples did not send out thank you notes. It also exposed that for those who did not send out thank you notes the results were 77% Democratic, 14% Independent, 9% Republican.

sons isn't it funny how the Democrats always feel like they are entitled to everything? How ya like that one Manny? ungrateful bastards.

Can you provide a link, son, or is this 'fact' pulled out of your ass?

[BRHornet45]

Can you provide a link, son, or is this 'fact' pulled out of your ass?

son it was from People magazine last month. I was reading it at the liquor store.

[CubanMustGo]

son it was from People magazine last month. I was reading it at the liquor store.

http://img84.imageshack.us/img84/5452/972009122557pm.jpg

(a search for "thank you notes", without the dash, yielded zero results)

[BRHornet45]

http://img84.imageshack.us/img84/5452/972009122557pm.jpg

(a search for "thank you notes", without the dash, yielded zero results)

LMAO son

it was one of those magazines people or not. anyways, why would the website post every single article from the magazine? u lose

[TheProfessor]

Thank you notes are such a relic of useless formality. Why get all hurt by someone who's just putting a couple of meaningless sentences on a card and mailing it to you? There's so much else to get bent out of shape about.

[angel_luv]

well it kinda already is messed up because I am either going to have to skip the honeymoon, or I am going to have to make a financially stupid decision to go on it. This all doesn't even take into account that I don't know how the hell to get a bachelor party together. I really dont care about the wedding plans, it could have had unicorns and pink elephants for all I care, until it encroaches on me and the time I get to spend with my new bride. The wedding is completely unimportant, it is the marriage that counts.

You have my sympathy.

I would recommend going on a small honeymoon- if only for a few days.


You can always go on a bigger, fancier, more expensive trip later on in life.
But there is something special about going on that first trip together right after your wedding.
You two will enjoy whatever you do, because you love enjoy other and will be happy to be away together.


My husband and I just went 5 hours away to the beach for two days but had a really nice time.
We went on a inexpensive sunset pirate themed cruise, walked around Port Isabel taking goofy pictures, and adopted a dog from the local humane society.
It was not an expensive/ fancy trip at all but I will remember always the great time I had.

If I had it all to do over again, I would do it the exact same way.

You have the right view of things- it is the marriage that matters. I hope this wedding is an amazing time for you. I am sure it will be.

[balli]

sons I saw a study not long ago that linked this exact situation directly to politics. The study consisted of 1,000 newlyweds couples and asked them two simple questions.

1. Did you send out thank you notes for your wedding gifts?

2. What is your political party affiliation?

the results showed that 411 out of the 1,000 couples did not send out thank you notes. It also exposed that for those who did not send out thank you notes the results were 77% Democratic, 14% Independent, 9% Republican.

sons isn't it funny how the Democrats always feel like they are entitled to everything? How ya like that one Manny? ungrateful bastards.
http://www.wired.com/culture/education/magazine/17-09/st_sinmaps

[Clandestino]

honeymoons are old fashioned.. they were for the old days when women were still virgins... very rarely are they like that anymore. its just a vacation... i've been to bachelor parties.. fuck, the brides are so bent out of shape that i have a better time just going out without a wedding party during the workweek!

unless, you're a bitch, don't even let all this shit get to you.

[DUNCANownsKOBE2]

Fuck thank you notes. It's the dumbest concept ever. You shouldn't have to write a fuckin paragraph long note when all you really need to say is, "Thanks for the ______".

[TDMVPDPOY]

you know when you goto the ceremony function and take wedding photos with the new couple or any fkn moron there, at leasts they should deliver you the developed photos when done...

im still waiting for at leasts 2 different wedding photos i attended....still no fkn word.

[angel_luv]

People can be so self centered. :lol

[Summers]

I was a groomsmen in a friends wedding in Houston a few years ago. He (or his fiance) picked out a very expensive tuxedo we groomsmen had to rent. Then we had to stay at this very expensive hotel for two nights in Houston as they wanted us all together and near them. We had to drive to and from Houston. Then add in a more expensive gift than we normally would have given. I think the whole gig cost us about $750.00. I think they finally sent thank you cards like 10 months later explaining the delay on just be so busy with their new life.

Ridiculous.

The proper thing to do in a situation like that, if they're going to dictate where you have to sleep, is to pay for the room for you. My husband's sister did the same thing when she got married. She told us she took care of the hotel reservations, then we showed up and it was an expensive hotel that we had to pay for. Totally threw off our budget the rest of the trip.

[CubanMustGo]

LMAO son

it was one of those magazines people or not. anyways, why would the website post every single article from the magazine? u lose

You just keep changing your story, son. LMAO right back at you.

If it's in the magazine, it'll be on the web site. The fact that you can't find ANY such story ANYWHERE on the web means that you've been exposed again.

[balli]

And BTW, People Magazine doesn't commission studies, it conducts reader polls of dipsomaniac housewives.

[ploto]

Actually, in my experience, the richer the bride, the less chance I have had of getting acknowledgement. The people who register for really expensive stuff have been less likely to send a thank you note than the people who register at Target.

[Drachen]

Actually, in my experience, the richer the bride, the less chance I have had of getting acknowledgement. The people who register for really expensive stuff have been less likely to send a thank you note than the people who register at Target.

This makes sense, they types of people who register at Target are happy to be getting something. Someone who registers at Nordstroms is likely to think "eh, if I don't get it I will just buy it." - Unless they are one of those stupid poor people with poor friends who registers at some rich place because they are too self-centered.

Oh, BTW, you better believe that I will be sending a BIG thank you note to whoever gives me the beertender (the only thing I cared about registering for).

[BRHornet45]

You just keep changing your story, son. LMAO right back at you.

If it's in the magazine, it'll be on the web site. The fact that you can't find ANY such story ANYWHERE on the web means that you've been exposed again.

LMAO son ... whatever you say. if anything it exposes that you were so concerned about it because you know the truth. you would be one of those cheapskate, ungrateful bastards lol.

[mookie2001]

i never get people shit for their weddings, i write like Big D. Blower and Mi Burrito Esmegmasito in the guest book, then i get wasted and throw chairs at little girls at the reception and destroy the venue through violent destruction until i get threatened with murder by the families and the limo leaves me.

[CosmicCowboy]

Just don't buy gifts. Get a big to/from sticker and put your name on it...then go to the reception, pick out a gift on the table that is wrapped real nice and slap your sticker over theirs. Then if you don't get a thank you note it's no big deal.

[manufan10]

Just don't buy gifts. Get a big to/from sticker and put your name on it...then go to the reception, pick out a gift on the table that is wrapped real nice and slap your sticker over theirs. Then if you don't get a thank you note it's no big deal.

:lmao

That's probably is what's happening to Ploto's gift. :lol