duncan228
10-01-2009, 10:39 PM
The Chanifesto: The NBA reality show (http://www.mysanantonio.com/sports/spurs/The_Chanifesto_The_NBA_reality_show.html)
By Lorne Chan - Express-News
There was some sadness watching NBA teams begin camp this week.
Sure, it will be nice to see some basketball again, but the start of the season means an end to the most awesomely bizarre NBA offseason ever.
Here's a timeline of some of the wild events:
June 23: Spurs general manager R.C. Buford makes a list of items to steal from Bucks GM John Hammond. In order: Richard Jefferson, Hammond's lunch money, Hammond's pride, candy from Hammond's baby.
June 25: Minnesota takes Spanish teenager Ricky Rubio with the fifth pick in the NBA draft, but it turns out Rubio may not come to the NBA until 2011.
To save face, Timberwolves general manager David Kahn attempts to sign Brett Favre.
June 25: Quentin Richardson is traded from the Knicks to the Grizzlies.
July 2: Ron Artest signs with the Lakers after a 10-year career in which he's been one of the most volatile and unpredictable players in the NBA. He moves to Los Angeles and becomes one of the most down-to-earth residents the city has.
July 17: Quentin Richardson is traded from the Grizzlies to the Clippers.
July 20: Quentin Richardson is traded from the Clippers to the Timberwolves.
July 24: Stephon Marbury broadcasts his life for 24 straight hours online. During the live stream, Marbury cries while listening to gospel music and eats Vaseline.
For some odd reason, he remains unsigned.
Aug. 14: Quentin Richardson is traded from the Timberwolves to the Heat.
Aug. 15: Richardson redeems his frequent-flier miles, sending the airline industry into yet another downward spiral.
Aug. 21: Michael Beasley posts a photo on his Twitter page with a suspicious plastic bag in the background of the image. Days later, it's revealed that he checked into a Houston rehabilitation facility.
Twitter's reign of terror on sports begins.
Sept. 4: Dirk Nowitzki learns his ex-fianceé Cristal Taylor is not pregnant, cancels Maury Povich appearance.
Sept. 11: David Robinson attends Michael Jordan's Hall of Fame induction ceremony in Springfield, Mass.
Meanwhile, Sam Bowie reminisces about his NBA career in front of his cat at Apartment 6G.
Sept. 17: Delonte West cuts off a police officer while riding a three-wheeled motorcycle and carrying three guns, including a shotgun that was kept in a guitar case West was carrying on his back.
Just a typical Thursday night — if you're Delonte West or Antonio Banderas in a Quentin Tarantino movie.
Sept. 27: Lakers forward Lamar Odom marries reality TV star Khloe Kardashian after about a month of dating.
Ron Artest actually goes to the office of celebrity-gossip site TMZ.com to talk about the wedding.
The craziest NBA offseason comes to a fitting close.
By Lorne Chan - Express-News
There was some sadness watching NBA teams begin camp this week.
Sure, it will be nice to see some basketball again, but the start of the season means an end to the most awesomely bizarre NBA offseason ever.
Here's a timeline of some of the wild events:
June 23: Spurs general manager R.C. Buford makes a list of items to steal from Bucks GM John Hammond. In order: Richard Jefferson, Hammond's lunch money, Hammond's pride, candy from Hammond's baby.
June 25: Minnesota takes Spanish teenager Ricky Rubio with the fifth pick in the NBA draft, but it turns out Rubio may not come to the NBA until 2011.
To save face, Timberwolves general manager David Kahn attempts to sign Brett Favre.
June 25: Quentin Richardson is traded from the Knicks to the Grizzlies.
July 2: Ron Artest signs with the Lakers after a 10-year career in which he's been one of the most volatile and unpredictable players in the NBA. He moves to Los Angeles and becomes one of the most down-to-earth residents the city has.
July 17: Quentin Richardson is traded from the Grizzlies to the Clippers.
July 20: Quentin Richardson is traded from the Clippers to the Timberwolves.
July 24: Stephon Marbury broadcasts his life for 24 straight hours online. During the live stream, Marbury cries while listening to gospel music and eats Vaseline.
For some odd reason, he remains unsigned.
Aug. 14: Quentin Richardson is traded from the Timberwolves to the Heat.
Aug. 15: Richardson redeems his frequent-flier miles, sending the airline industry into yet another downward spiral.
Aug. 21: Michael Beasley posts a photo on his Twitter page with a suspicious plastic bag in the background of the image. Days later, it's revealed that he checked into a Houston rehabilitation facility.
Twitter's reign of terror on sports begins.
Sept. 4: Dirk Nowitzki learns his ex-fianceé Cristal Taylor is not pregnant, cancels Maury Povich appearance.
Sept. 11: David Robinson attends Michael Jordan's Hall of Fame induction ceremony in Springfield, Mass.
Meanwhile, Sam Bowie reminisces about his NBA career in front of his cat at Apartment 6G.
Sept. 17: Delonte West cuts off a police officer while riding a three-wheeled motorcycle and carrying three guns, including a shotgun that was kept in a guitar case West was carrying on his back.
Just a typical Thursday night — if you're Delonte West or Antonio Banderas in a Quentin Tarantino movie.
Sept. 27: Lakers forward Lamar Odom marries reality TV star Khloe Kardashian after about a month of dating.
Ron Artest actually goes to the office of celebrity-gossip site TMZ.com to talk about the wedding.
The craziest NBA offseason comes to a fitting close.