How much do you give for a wedding?

[Thunder Dan]

I need to send a check, I don't know what the right amount is. Here is the criteria:

1). I'm 25

2) Close friend growing up (girl)

3) invited, but didn't offer to bring my girlfriend

4) Very nice, expensive wedding at a private club

5) I'm about 2 months late getting around to sending this


What is the right range?

[DarkReign]

Did you go to the reception?

Did you eat?

Did you go alone?

If you answer those three questions "yes", then about $100.

Most weddings, youre looking at about $85 a plate, so if you mind etiquette, you need to at least cover your meal cost plus a little bit.

[Thunder Dan]

Did you go to the reception?

Did you eat?

Did you go alone?

If you answer those three questions "yes", then about $100.

Most weddings, youre looking at about $85 a plate, so if you mind etiquette, you need to at least cover your meal cost plus a little bit.

yeah I just went to the reception and didn't bring my girlfriend.

[CosmicCowboy]

Personally I think the wedding gift thing has gotten completely out of control....It's gone WAY BEYOND giving the couple a "start" on necessary household items...plus...whats up with wedding "announcements"...That's got to be the most arrogant self serving bullshit around..."hey, you aren't important enough to me to invite you to my wedding but this is your official notice to send me a gift..."

Fuck that.

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

I always drop a hundred if I go solo.

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

Personally I think the wedding gift thing has gotten completely out of control....It's gone WAY BEYOND giving the couple a "start" on necessary household items...plus...whats up with wedding "announcements"...That's got to be the most arrogant self serving bullshit around..."hey, you aren't important enough to me to invite you to my wedding but this is your official notice to send me a gift..."

Fuck that.


That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard.

Thankfully, I'm out of that loop. Next one to get married is me and that ain't happening for awhile, if at all.

[CosmicCowboy]

BTW, I personally do not think there should be any relationship between the cost of the wedding and the expense of the gift. In fact, I tend to give more to the kids that for financial reasons had small family weddings and threw their own receptions with friends doing the catering...as opposed to someone that blew $50,000 on a fancy wedding/reception...which one do you think will need/appreciate the help more?

Of course, I've never been accused of being etiquette conscious so DR may be right.

[CosmicCowboy]

That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard.

Thankfully, I'm out of that loop. Next one to get married is me and that ain't happening for awhile, if at all.

Whats dumb about it? Greedy little fuckers send out announcements to people they hardly even know trolling for presents? Fuck that. Wedding announcements deserve a hand written "good luck" note.

[desflood]

It's gone WAY BEYOND giving the couple a "start" on necessary household items...
With so many couples living together (some for quite a long time) before marriage now, the usual household items are already owned and not appropriate gifts.

Just once, I'd like to see a wedding announcement that's really honest:

"Hi! Derek and Amy are finally getting hitched after three years of shacking up together. They don't need a vacuum, or a blender, or any of that other household stuff, so they're just asking for big piles of cash. Thanks a bunch!"

[Thunder Dan]

BTW, I personally do not think there should be any relationship between the cost of the wedding and the expense of the gift. In fact, I tend to give more to the kids that for financial reasons had small family weddings and threw their own receptions with friends doing the catering...as opposed to someone that blew $50,000 on a fancy wedding/reception...which one do you think will need/appreciate the help more?

Of course, I've never been accused of being etiquette conscious so DR may be right.

this wedding was pretty big time. The guy she married, his grandpa was Chief Justice Texas supreme court and dad is like the head judge of Dallas or some shit like that. So it was a pretty big wedding, kinda over the top which is why I kinda feel like I should give a good amount. However, it's weird because she graduated college like 3 years ago when I did, and she is living large making like $150,000 a year. So I'm giving money to people who don't need money, but whatever. I'm too late to get in on the registry

[CosmicCowboy]

this wedding was pretty big time. The guy she married, his grandpa is a Texas supreme court Judge and dad is like the head judge of Dallas or some shit like that. So it was a pretty big wedding, kinda over the top which is why I kinda feel like I should give a good amount. However, it's weird because she graduated college like 3 years ago when I did, and she is living large making like $150,000 a year. So I'm giving money to people who don't need money, but whatever. I'm too late to get in on the registry

Fuck it...just skip the gift. What are they gonna do? Not invite you to their next wedding? :lol

Hell, they will probably be grateful they don't have to write another thank you note...:lol

[TDMVPDPOY]

its fkn bs

never, i say never goto engagement partys cause u will have to buy something or give money

and then u goto the wedding, thats another payment.

fuck that.

just give them $100 just to cover per head at the table....

[Thunder Dan]

Fuck it...just skip the gift. What are they gonna do? Not invite you to their next wedding? :lol

Hell, they will probably be grateful they don't have to write another thank you note...:lol

the feeling I have now writing this check and sending it is what I imagine paying alimony is like

[mrsmaalox]

Whats dumb about it? Greedy little fuckers send out announcements to people they hardly even know trolling for presents? Fuck that. Wedding announcements deserve a hand written "good luck" note.

I assumed he meant the wedding announcements were the dumbest shit. I generally agree, but I have had several friends who elope, and the wedding announcement was really just an announcement.

[CuckingFunt]

All this wedding stuff is like a completely different language to me. I've only been to three weddings in my life, and none of them as an adult.

Guess I just don't hang around the marryin' type. Or, not the wedding type, at least.

[CubanMustGo]

The gift should have nothing to do with how fancy the wedding is or who the newlyweds are. It's an amount you are comfortable with given YOUR circumstances. If you're a richer, feel free to blow a wad of cash. If, like most at the age of 25, your finances are modest, you should feel no responsibility to "cover the cost of the wedding." They didn't pay for it, probably, the wedding costs are traditionally the responsibility of the bride's family.

I personally give MORE to a newlywed couple that had a modest wedding or that I knew had to pay for their own wedding that was appropriate to their financial situation, because I know they can use the money / gift.

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

$5,000.

[JudynTX]

$50

[mrsmaalox]

From the Emily Post Institiute:

Wedding Gift Tips

How soon should I send a gift?
Preferably, send the gift to the bride before the wedding or to the couple soon thereafter. In some regions gifts are brought to the reception and placed on a special table. Contrary to a current rumor that you have a year to send a gift, it really should be sent right away or within three months of the wedding.

Do I have to choose a gift from a registry?
No. A registry is for your convenience and you are not limited to what is on the list.

How much should I spend?
There is no rule, so it is entirely up to you. Let your affection for the bride and groom and your budget be your guide.


Is it appropriate to give money?
In some cultures it is THE traditional gift. If you are uncomfortable about giving cash or a check, you can give a gift certificate to a store where the bride and groom are registered.

What do I do if I haven't received a thank you note?
Ouch!! This is an awkward situation. It is certainly okay to call and ask the couple if they received the gift. If you find this too awkward and the gift was sent from a store, you can call the store and have it traced. Just as a gift should be sent right away or within three months of a wedding, a thank you note should be written right away or, at the very least, within three months of receiving a gift.


http://www.emilypost.com/weddings/tips/wedding_gifts.htm

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

$5,000.

:bang Can't believe easjer and I left you off the guest list!!!

[angel_luv]

What should matter to your friend is that you were present at her wedding.

Giving a gift would be very kind of you but don't feel obligated to make it fancy- especially if you would exceed your income doing so.


I am a new bride myself. I received many nice wedding gifts but what I appreciated the most was the thought behind the cards and gifts I was given.
I cannot remember exactly who gave me what item or amount of cash, but I remember well all the people who came to my wedding, who wrote me notes of congratulations, and who called to wish me well- all which meant the world to me.

[Sportcamper]

When I was very young I was invited to a wedding…I was single, was earning an apprentice salary & barely made ends meet…I got the bride & groom a $12.000 crepe maker from Gemco (a discount store)…

The reception was one of the most lavish events I have ever attended…Steak, lobster, open bar, deserts…I had no idea these folks were so wealthy…I tried to get my gift back before they would see it but I was unsuccessful…

The bride sent me the nicest letter about what a wonderful gift I gave… (I felt terrible) Till this day I feel bad about it …I wish I would have charged for something more expensive or not even attended…

[resistanze]

All this wedding stuff is like a completely different language to me. I've only been to three weddings in my life, and none of them as an adult.

Guess I just don't hang around the marryin' type. Or, not the wedding type, at least.
I didn't even know you were supposed to give money for going to someone's wedding until I entered this thread.

[ashbeeigh]

$100 and a nice thoughtful card if it's a close friend that you grew up with. It's the thought that counts if it's a close personal friend, in my opinion.

I'm going to a wedding of a close friend this weekend and in total I've spent about $200 on her and her fiance (but I've known them both for a very very long time).

[mrsmaalox]

For my wedding one of the gifts I received was a single hand towel---not a real fancy one, maybe a $5-$6 one. But one of my cousins pointed it out as a "cheap gift" and it really upset me. I knew that guest was on a very fixed income and I was touched by her generosity, but at the same time I felt sooo guilty that she felt obligated to give me anything at all. I wish she could have understood that her presence at my wedding was all I ever wanted!

[TheMACHINE]

fck that..my homie gave me 20 bucks and im like WTF! lol

anyways..100 bucks should do.

[resistanze]

Just get them a life insurance policy, and divide the beneficiary into thirds, you being one of them.

:lmao

[Ginobilly]

For a Mexican wedding: About $20 since they will probably be serving brisket or bbq chicken.

For a white wedding: $50 to $100 dollars since they will probably be serving some expensive duck ala rounge with mediterranean style rice, with honey mustard vinaigrette or whatever expensive shit white people are eating now a days.

[CosmicCowboy]

For a Mexican wedding: About $20 since they will probably be serving brisket or bbq chicken.

For a white wedding: $50 to $100 dollars since they will probably be serving some expensive duck ala rounge with mediterranean style rice, with honey mustard vinaigrette or whatever expensive shit white people are eating now a days.

Now Mexican weddings are another story...you can keep doing the money dance over and over but it's very uncool to pop wood :lol

[ashbeeigh]

Now Mexican weddings are another story...you can keep doing the money dance over and over but it's very uncool to pop wood :lol

omg, I really laughed out loud. Thanks.

[ploto]

How much they spent on the wedding should have no bearing on what you spend on your gift.

[Blake]

what's wrong with a gift from the store they registered at?

100 guests x $100 = $10000

where were all of you when I was getting married?

[ploto]

what's wrong with a gift from the store they registered at?

Yeah- registries are usually there for a year.

[MiamiHeat]

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