DeJuan Blair FACTS!

[Samr]

First TIMMYD started this thread (http://spurstalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=136469).

Then, a bunch of us started writing stuff like
Dejuan Blair never bangs the same chick twice because he's always on the rebound.

and
People keep saying DeJuan Blair doesn’t have ACLs. I contend they’re just hiding from him.

thus spun-off the website: DeJuan Blair FACTS! (http://dejuanblairfacts.wordpress.com/)


So now, let's have some fun with this. The basic guidelines:


- Pretty much anything goes. But, try to keep the language and content forum-decent.


- At least make an attempt at something original. And if you're not original... at least just try to hide it, that work? (e.g. please no Chuck Norris jokes we've heard a thousand times; DeJuan Blair does not roundhouse kick shit)


- Unless I hear differently, I'm using your handle on here as authorial credit. If you don't want your FACT! on there, let me know. No big deal at all, I promise. In my mind the only thing worse than not giving someone appropriate credit is quoting them on something they don't want seen.

- I may occasionally change a word or two. Don't worry. It's probably either to correct the grammar or make it funnier. You still get credit no matter what.




[Mods: I'm just trying to have some fun here and kill some time, but if you feel that this thread in any way violates forum policy (like by posting another website), by all means delete it. Like I said above, it's no big deal.]

[Samr]

The list thus far:


1. When DeJuan Blair hits the gym, it breaks. –Samr

2. DeJuan Blair doesn't fight for rebounds; he uses telepathy to bring the balls to him. -Samr

3. One time DeJuan passed Thabeet in the mall. Thabeet was out 4-6 weeks. -Samr

4. DeJuan Blair was the latest inductee to Greek mythology. –Samr

5. Dejuan Blair once blocked out both centers and rebounded a jump ball. –“spurs_fan_in_exile”

6. Dejuan Blair never bangs the same chick twice because he's always on the rebound. –“spurs_fan_in_exile”

7. Dejuan Blair once cut his own break cables. Anyone or anything foolish enough to try to stop Dejuan Blair must pay the price. –“spurs_fan_in_exile”

8. When DeJuan Blair plays there is no halftime show. The fans simply wait in anticipation. -Samr

9. DeJuan Blair, similar to Barkley, is banned from Vegas. The difference is, Blair hasn't lost any money -- he's a gamble that always wins. -Samr

10. DeJuan Blair's quads ate up his acls because they were inferior. –Samr

11. DeJuan Blair once missed a double-double, because other team only missed 9 shots. –“Riverwalkman”

12. DeJuan Blair does not fight for rebounds because the word fighting implies the possibility of failure. He just goes grabbing. –“Riverwalkman”

13. DeJuan Blair always creates the first stat of a game by rebounding. –“Riverwalkman”

14. DeJuan Blair doesn't have career-ending injuries. He injures careers. -Samr

15. Rebounding against DeJuan Blair requires a special permit and medical clearance. -Samr

16. DeJuan Blair had to get a CDL for his posterior. -Samr

17. DeJuan Blair was signed to cleanup the boards, and after he finished early, he decided to clean up the East Side as well. -Samr

18. After DeJuan Blair threw Thabeet over his back, he looked toward the Pitt bench, smiled, and said "done." –Samr

19. DeJuan Blair does have ACL's, That mofo is Always Collecting Loose ballS –“Slydragon”

20. DeJuan Blair gets more balls in his hands per night than a hooker does all week –“Slydragon”

21. Crop circles are DeJuan Blair's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down. –“Spursfan09”

22. Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. DeJuan Blair has 72... and they're all poisonous. –“Spursfan09”

23. Police label anyone trying to rebound over DeJuan Blair as a Code 45-11.... a suicide. –“Spursfan09”

24. "I went over to check on him, to say are you all right? Are we cool?" Blair said. "And he just walked past me. If that's the way you want to be, then that's fine. I'd do it again. Don't stick your arm in there." –DeJuan Blair, after he took Hasheem Thabeet and just… ah go look it up on YouTube, you’ll be glad you did

25. DeJuan Blair was once in a knife fight. The knife lost. –“Spursfan09”

26. People keep saying DeJuan Blair doesn’t have ACLs. I contend they’re just hiding from him. –“Blackjack21”

27. When DeJuan Blair wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken. –“Spursfan09”

28. The Venus de Milo was actually built as a memorial for the first guy that ever tried to rebound against Dejuan Blair. –“Spurs_fan_in_exile”

29. DeJuan Blair doesn't get the blue screen of death. The blue screen of death gets DeJuan Blair. –Samr

30. Nobody knew what horror the people saw in the Blair which Project. Now we do. –“Peacemaker885”

31. DeJuan Blair was once asked how many arms he planned to rip off per game. He responded "Oh I'd say four to five at least." Thus, his jersey number was selected. As a warning sign. –Samr

32. DeJuan Blair averages a double-double; 10 asses kicked, 10 names taken. –“Dex”

[smrattler]

FACT or FICTION:

- Dejuan Blair once broke a guy's arm when they shook hands before tipoff.

[Riverwalkman]

Some of the Facts are obviously Chuck Norris Facts.

25.DeJuan Blair was once in a knife fight. The knife lost.
27.When DeJuan Blair wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

[Samr]

Coach Pop gives praise to George Hill in the media. DeJuan Blair tells the media about Coach Pop.

[honestfool84]

Some of the Facts are obviously Chuck Norris Facts.


:lol

i think all “Spursfan09”'s facts are Chuck Norris facts.

[mookie2001]

wow if someone were to combine this with a lol kitten and a kanye west interruption it could be the most hackneyed, tired and unoriginal bullshit in the history of the internets

[Samr]

Yeah, Spursfan092120 was shortened to Spursfan09 (I'm assuming that's ok?)

I'm trying to keep this kind of original. There are a ton of people on here that are naturally funny (go see the original thread for proof. spurs_fan_in_exile, I'm looking at you... and a few others). I'm not sure about licensing/fair use laws, otherwise I'd put the images from the original thread on the website as well. Awesome. All of it was awesome.

[Spursfan092120]

:lol

i think all “Spursfan09”'s facts are Chuck Norris facts.
lol...I think like 2 of them I came up with..the rest are from the man with the fist under his beard...lol

[Spursfan092120]

Yeah, Spursfan092120 was shortened to Spursfan09 (I'm assuming that's ok?)

it's all good. :tu

[Spursfan092120]

DeJuan Blair doesn't jump up to grab rebounds. The ball finds his hands and falls into them out of fear.

[Samr]

dejuan blair doesn't jump up to grab rebounds. The ball finds his hands and falls into them out of fear.

fact!

**edit** I changed it to "Spursfan092120" per request.

[Spursfan092120]

fact!
yeah..lol..that one's mine...no Chuck Norris on that one..

[Spursfan092120]

Yeah, Spursfan092120 was shortened to Spursfan09 (I'm assuming that's ok?)
Actually you might want to change that, because there is someone else named Spursfan09 on here.

[SenorSpur]

Somewhere James Gist is jealous.

[AOMrep]

When Freddy Krugar sleeps he has nightmares about The Grizley Blair!!

When Jaws is in the ocean chilling he knows Dejuan Blair is coming when HE hears the music.

Red Bull gets it's main ingredient from Dejuan Blairs sweat.

You can call Dejuan Blair a modern day Robin Hood, cause he steals from the rich.

The government should be checking Dejuan Blairs house cause he's winning the arms race.

Even Teen Wolf is smart enough stay out of the paint when Dejaun Blairs inside.

They say history repeats itself but only cause Dejaun Blair allows it.

When Dejuan Blair was born they had to do a reverse C-section. He was already full grown.

[Blackjack]

Dejuan Blair is always willing to lend a helping-hand; yours.

[Riverwalkman]

I love this Blair Facts collection, and I‘ll translate those facts into chinaspurs.com.

Come on Samr and all you guys !

[Samr]

I love this Blair Facts collection, and I‘ll translate those facts into chinaspurs.com.

Come on Samr and all you guys !

Dude! I had Panda Express tonight, great timing!

... I went to chinaspurs.com and it's all Greek (kinda) to me. Explain? Do you run that place? What do all those lines and dashes mean?

[Blackjack]

Cat's only have nine lives because the tenth had already been taken by Blair.

[xellos88330]

DeJuan Blairs arms are so long, he can reach forward and scratch the back of his head.

[AOMrep]

Dejaun Blair needs a brand new pair of shoes everyday cause his feet eat thier souls.

Dejuan Blair never needs to wash his hands, germs know better.

Dejuan Blair has NEVER heard his stomach growl at him!

[Cry Havoc]

During Spurs practice one day, Popovich saw Blair sitting on the bench while the rest of the team was on the floor. He asked Timmy what "that rookie" thought he was doing, and Duncan said, "Working on his rebounding." "But he's sitting on the bench!" Pop said. "Well, he likes a challenge."

[Riverwalkman]

Dude! I had Panda Express tonight, great timing!

... I went to chinaspurs.com and it's all Greek (kinda) to me. Explain? Do you run that place? What do all those lines and dashes mean?
:lol
I'm in charge of the spurs forum on that site, the posts there are all written in chinese characters.

[Samr]

During Spurs practice one day, Popovich saw Blair sitting on the bench while the rest of the team was on the floor. He asked Timmy what "that rookie" thought he was doing, and Duncan said, "Working on his rebounding." "But he's sitting on the bench!" Pop said. "Well, he likes a challenge."

FACT! ... in the morning

[Cry Havoc]

DeJuan requires administrative access to every gym he visits, as when he walks into them the backboards hydraulically recoil into the ceiling out of fear.

[Samr]

DeJuan requires keys to every gym he visits, as when he walks into them the backboards hydraulically recoil into the ceiling out of fear.

FACT! ... in the morning as well

[Blackjack]

Dejuan Blair doesn't close his eyes, he boxes-out the sun.

[timtonymanurich]

DeJuan Blair simply WALKS through Mordor.

[Samr]

Ok, I AM TIRED. Y'all please continue this though. I'm going to do a round of updates of everything we've accumulated plus send this to DeJuan Blair (via twitter) in the morning.

BlackJack21, Cry Havoc, Spursfan092120, I'm looking at y'all!!!

[Blackjack]

The fear over the single-payer, was that the single-payer was Blair

[LongtimeSpursFan]

DeJuan Blair once bit the "Most Interesting Man in the World" just so he would know what Dos Equis tasted like.

[AOMrep]

It's been said that Amelia Earhart took her trip after offending Dejuan Blair. She never returned. It's just better that way.

[Dex]

When DeJuan Blair hits the boards, baby willows weep in sorrow.

[AOMrep]

Batteries never run out of juice at Dejuan Blairs house

[AOMrep]

We now know what Meatloaf "won't do".

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

The last two thirds of the "R" section of Webster's Dictionary consist of pictures of Dejuan Blair. He goes after rebounds everywhere. NO EXCEPTIONS.

[Blackjack]

Sarah Palin can see Dejuan Blair from her house.

[AOMrep]

The original cut of The Sixth Sense had him saying "I see Dejuan Blair".

[Blackjack]

Dejuan Blair has friends in high places; he threw and left them there.

[phyzik]

FACT: Spurs fans are hyping up Blair more than Laker fans hype up Bynum.

Im just as stoked as the next Spurs fan but lets have some reservations before we crown him.

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

The "per 48 minutes" stat calculation was invented by Dejuan Blair so everyone would know how badly he would school them if he didn't have the self restraint to let some of the bench warmers play a little.

[Blackjack]

FACT: Spurs fans are hyping up Blair more than Laker fans hype up Bynum.

Im just as stoked as the next Spurs fan but lets have some reservations before we crown him.

No one crowns DeJuan Blair.

Much like no one put's Baby in the corner.

[Riverwalkman]

In order to make some trouble upon himself, DeJuan Blair once ate basketballs as breakfast, while grabbed eggs in practice. But he ultimately became disappointed when Pop told him:" Good job."

[jaffies]

Dejuan Blair killed Martin Lawrence because the movie "Rebound" wasn't up to his standards.

[phyzik]

No one crowns DeJuan Blair.

Much like no one put's Baby in the corner.

All Im saying is, when Laker fans give us shit about Blair, we need to shut our mouths. We have been talking shit to the Lakers about Bynum for 2 years now.... and here we are hyping up a rookie like he is the second coming of Barkley.

While he MAY be the second coming of Barkley, lets let his game talk for him instead of hyping him up like the Laker fans did with Bynum, calling him a Duncan stopper and shit.

[Spursfan092120]

Ok, I AM TIRED. Y'all please continue this though. I'm going to do a round of updates of everything we've accumulated plus send this to DeJuan Blair (via twitter) in the morning.

BlackJack21, Cry Havoc, Spursfan092120, I'm looking at y'all!!!
no problem man...we'll keep em comin... :)

[Blackjack]

All Im saying is, when Laker fans give us shit about Blair, we need to shut our mouths. We have been talking shit to the Lakers about Bynum for 2 years now.... and here we are hyping up a rookie like he is the second coming of Barkley.

While he MAY be the second coming of Barkley, lets let his game talk for him instead of hyping him up like the Laker fans did with Bynum, calling him a Duncan stopper and shit.

It's all in fun, man.

Did you not see the Gist thread?:lol

[Spursmania]

All Im saying is, when Laker fans give us shit about Blair, we need to shut our mouths. We have been talking shit to the Lakers about Bynum for 2 years now.... and here we are hyping up a rookie like he is the second coming of Barkley.

While he MAY be the second coming of Barkley, lets let his game talk for him instead of hyping him up like the Laker fans did with Bynum, calling him a Duncan stopper and shit.


They are just having some fun.:lol
Who cares what Laker fans say anyway. This is a Spurs Forum.:toast

[phyzik]

It's all in fun, man.

Did you not see the Gist thread?:lol

Of course I did! I've been here a while, but I've never seen anything like THIS for a rook! :lol

I hope he lives up to our expectations! :hat

GIST!!

[Blackjack]

I hope he lives up to our expectations! :hat

Our expectations are nothing more than limits that Blair knows nothing about; he put limits on limits.

[Spursfan092120]

All these are mine

Helen Keller can hear when DeJuan Blair is coming.

Rip Van Winkle once tried to go up for a rebound against DeJuan Blair. He never woke up again.

Chuck Norris once tried to roundhouse kick DeJuan Blair. He lost both arms in the incident....lol

"The Scream" by Van Gogh was loosely based on someone trying to rebound over DeJuan Blair.

DeJuan Blair once played an entire game in a handstand, running on his hands with his feet in the air. He got 27 points and 18 rebounds....in the first quarter.

DeJuan Blair can taste fear.

Freddy Krueger goes to Halloween parties dressed as DeJuan Blair. He wins every year. Everyone is afraid of DeJuan Blair.

[Em-City]

All these are mine



basically they're all funny, except for your ones :p:

[50Bestspurever]

DeJuan Blair found WMD's

[xellos88330]

DeJuan Blair refused to be born until the doctor brought a basketball into the delivery room and DeJuan jumped out and grabbed it.

[Chieflion]

The rebounding stat was created for Dejuan Blair.

Statisticians added the rebounding totals for Dejuan Blair like a M-16, perhaps out of respect.


Pop really has some high expectations for Hill this year...And no reason not to, but he doesn't usually do this. Look at the "support" he's given Blair (it's non existent)
First of all, this is wrong.

Unlike Hill, Blair does not need Pop's support. However, Pop needs Blair's permission to reduce his minutes.

[Bukefal]

Blair, the beast as he is, makes even the most terrible dinosaurs shy

Is it a man? No! Is it a monster? No! Is it a robot? No! It's Dejuan Blair!

This is so wrong :lol

[gm5k]

DeJuan Blair found WMD's

but was subsequently forced to rename them WWD's (Weapons of Weak Destruction) after comparing them to his arms.

[AOMrep]

Lorena Bobbit was with Dejuan Blair. When he upset her all she ended up with was 12 bent knives.

[gameFACE]

He is DeJuan and only!!!!!!!!

[Bukefal]

He is DeJuan and only!!!!!!!!

That's a good one

[lefty]

He is DeJuan and only!!!!!!!!
Very nice :tu

[Extra Stout]

This is the exact opposite of the Steve Nash thread.

[silverblackfan]

The authorities have been notified that Blair is armed and dangerous, but their are not HIS arms!

[Chieflion]

President Obama apparently called a Blair a man and informs Blair to disarm himself from his weapons of mass destruction. Blair then goes to the White House, challenges Obama to a 1 to 1 basketball game and proceeds to disarm Obama. He now has a cast on his arm.

[Samr]

All of these will be inputted sometime today, I promise.

And no, we're not hyping DeJuan Blair. Hype is for people that can fail expectations.

[mad0214]

Funny stuff. I especially like the one about WMD's becoming WWD's. Back in July after seeing Blair play one summer league game, we put together a list (http://projectspurs.com/2009-articles/july/rebounding_with_dejuan_blair.html)similar but not exactly the same on Project Spurs. Here are a few of my faves if you'd like to use them.

When people prepare for an incoming hurricane, they don't board their windows, they just put Dejuan Blair in front of them.

When a person walks into a lumber yard for boards, they look for the aisle with Blair's face.

When women are on the rebound, they magically fall into Blair's hands.

During his college career at Pitt, the campus janitorial department didn't use Windex to clean glass, they used Dejuan Blair.

When Bill Gates was introduced as the "Chairman of the Board", Blair shouted "We'll see about that!" and boxed him out.

Whenever the US economy rebounds, it will be because of Dejuan Blair.

Dejuan Blair once misunderstood the exact meaning of a boarding school.

One time Dejuan Blair noticed hundreds of hot-air balloons in the sky. There were no survivors.

Where you see a meteor shower, Dejuan Blair sees practice!

Dejuan Blair doesn't understand the concept of volleyball.

[DBMethos]

During his college career at Pitt, the campus janitorial department didn't use Windex to clean glass, they used Dejuan Blair.

Whenever the US economy rebounds, it will be because of Dejuan Blair.

Where you see a meteor shower, Dejuan Blair sees practice!

:rollin

[smrattler]

And no, we're not hyping DeJuan Blair. Hype is for people that can fail expectations.


Dejuan Blair does not fear living up to his hype, his hype fears trying to live up to HIM!

[mad0214]

dejuan blair does not fear living up to his hype, his hype fears trying to live up to him!

awesome

[Bukefal]

It would be cool for DeJuan himself to see these facts about him :)

[Samr]

Ok ladies and gentlemen, I'm working on updating this now, and I'll post the new ones below in a bit.

Again, keep 'em coming. James Gist! would be proud.


Here are a few of my faves if you'd like to use them.

I'm going to credit these to you for the time being, unless you tell me otherwise. These are hilarious.

[Agloco]

Funny stuff. I especially like the one about WMD's becoming WWD's. Back in July after seeing Blair play one summer league game, we put together a list (http://projectspurs.com/2009-articles/july/rebounding_with_dejuan_blair.html)similar but not exactly the same on Project Spurs. Here are a few of my faves if you'd like to use them.

When people prepare for an incoming hurricane, they don't board their windows, they just put Dejuan Blair in front of them.

When a person walks into a lumber yard for boards, they look for the aisle with Blair's face.

When women are on the rebound, they magically fall into Blair's hands.

During his college career at Pitt, the campus janitorial department didn't use Windex to clean glass, they used Dejuan Blair.

When Bill Gates was introduced as the "Chairman of the Board", Blair shouted "We'll see about that!" and boxed him out.

Whenever the US economy rebounds, it will be because of Dejuan Blair.

Dejuan Blair once misunderstood the exact meaning of a boarding school.

One time Dejuan Blair noticed hundreds of hot-air balloons in the sky. There were no survivors.

Where you see a meteor shower, Dejuan Blair sees practice!

Dejuan Blair doesn't understand the concept of volleyball.

All of the above are pretty good, but the highlighted ones are my faves.....

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

:lol Nice stuff, mad.

[Dex]

In Spanish, DeJaun Blair translates to "The One Blair". He ate all of the other Blairs.

[Samr]

Lorena Bobbit was with Dejuan Blair. When he upset her all she ended up with was 12 bent knives.

I'm guessing about 85% of people won't get this. BUT, it's hilarious.

If anyone wants in on the joke, just do a wikipedia search for Lorena Bobbit.

You are my new hero.

[lefty]

Blairissimo

[Samr]

Ok, so apparently this thing is picking up steam. "DeJuan Blair FACTS!" has already been linked to by a few sites, and it's registered over 500 hits in less than 24 hours (that's pretty good). If anyone wants to send this to DeJuan Blair himself (he does twitter and facebook a lot), by all means.

At any rate, here's the UPDATES!


33. DeJuan Blair once bit the "Most Interesting Man in the World" just so he would know what Dos Equis tasted like. –“Longtimespursfan”
34. When DeJuan Blair hits the boards, baby willows weep in sorrow. –“Dex”
35. The last two thirds of the "R" section of Webster's Dictionary consist of pictures of Dejuan Blair. He goes after rebounds everywhere. NO EXCEPTIONS. –“spurs_fan_in_exile”
36. Sarah Palin can see Dejuan Blair from her house. –“Blackjack21”
37. The "per 48 minutes" stat calculation was invented by Dejuan Blair so everyone would know how badly he would school them if he didn't have the self restraint to let some of the bench warmers play a little. –“spurs_fan_in_exile”
38. Dejuan Blair killed Martin Lawrence because the movie "Rebound" wasn't up to his standards. –“jaffies”
39. DeJuan requires administrative access to every gym he visits, as when he walks into them the backboards hydraulically recoil into the ceiling out of fear. –“Cry Havoc”
40. Dejuan Blair doesn't close his eyes, he boxes-out the sun. –“blackjack21”
41. Helen Keller can hear when DeJuan Blair is coming. –“spursfan012120
42. Rip Van Winkle once tried to go up for a rebound against DeJuan Blair. He never woke up again. –“spursfan092120”
43. Chuck Norris once tried to roundhouse kick DeJuan Blair. He lost both arms in the incident. –“spursfan092120”
44. "The Scream" by Van Gogh was loosely based on someone trying to rebound over DeJuan Blair. –“spursfan092120”
45. DeJuan Blair once played an entire game in a handstand, running on his hands with his feet in the air. He got 27 points and 18 rebounds....in the first quarter. –“spursfan092120”
46. Unlike George Hill, Blair does not need Pop's support. However, Pop needs Blair's permission to reduce his minutes. –“Chieflion”
47. DeJuan Blair found WMD’s, but was subsequently forced to rename them WWD's (Weapons of Weak Destruction) after comparing them to his arms. –“gm5k”
48. Lorena Bobbit was with Dejuan Blair. When he upset her all she ended up with was 12 bent knives. –“AOMrep”
49. He is DeJuan and only!!!!!!!! –“gameFACE”
50. The authorities have been notified that Blair is armed and dangerous, but their are not HIS arms! –“Silverblackfan”
51. When people prepare for an incoming hurricane, they don't board their windows, they just put Dejuan Blair in front of them. –“mad0214”
52. During his college career at Pitt, the campus janitorial department didn't use Windex to clean glass, they used Dejuan Blair. –“mad0214”
53. When Bill Gates was introduced as the "Chairman of the Board", Blair shouted "We'll see about that!" and boxed him out. –“mad0214”
54. Dejuan Blair once misunderstood the exact meaning of a boarding school. –“mad0214”
55. Where you see a meteor shower, Dejuan Blair sees practice! –“mad0214”

56. Dejuan Blair doesn't understand the concept of volleyball. –“mad0214”
57. DeJuan Blair spelled backwards is “God.” –“Hipucks”

[Sobe_Kucks]

The film "Hoosiers" originally starred DeJuan Blair as Jimmy Chitwood. After 1 week of filming the movie set was such a bloody mess with body parts, the film was recast and later renamed "Platoon."

In an effort to improve global weather patterns, the US government has asked DeJuan Blair to "box out" El Nino.

After reviewing the UConn Vs. Pitt tape, North Korean leader Kim Jong-il mandated that every 3rd Korean child born (male or female) should be named DeJuan and grow a beard. This tactic is considered "essential" for the North Korean arms race.

Trembling in fear, Bigfoot once took a picture of DeJuan Blair and the camera became fuzzy.

The reasons that so many teams passed on DeJuan Blair were based solely on the team doctors. They are severely understaffed and unable to deal with the amount of compound fractures during routine practice sessions.

DeJuan Blair's Smart Car runs on pure hustle.

Scientists are feverishly working to prove that black holes are actually created by DeJuan Blair's rebounding prowess.

It is not uncommon after a large and satisfying meal for DeJuan Blair to accidentally burp a small grizzly bear back on to the table and say "Mmmmmm good!". It is not taken as a sign of disrespect, rather it's taken as the sign of a good meal.

[Dex]

No official has ever dared to issue DeJuan Blair a technical foul, for fear of making him angry. You wouldn't like Blair when he's angry.

[hater]

Any missed shot that is not an airball is a blairball

[Dex]

DeJaun Blair once won a game of Horse in 4 shots.

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

Dejuan Blair to rule them all...
http://spotlightonentertainment.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/underwood_b.jpghttp://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Ux04PfMOGRc/SqQ3FVm4ofI/AAAAAAAACbU/_wNgMXSwraI/s400/424.jpg

Dejuan Blair to find them...
http://www.yuddy.com/articleimages/selma%20blairNTg3.jpghttp://1.bp.blogspot.com/_n2AS0-fCYnM/SQsOEejWRDI/AAAAAAAAARM/lwMqjz7Ikyc/s320/LindaBlair002ps.jpg

Dejuan Blair to bring them all...
http://blog.kir.com/archives/Tony%20Blair-big.jpghttp://www.tiricosuave.com/images/blair.jpg

And in the darkness bind them.
http://d.yimg.com/a/p/sp/getty/06/fullj.9ae6e43b0978674694e0e05a6fc2e751/9ae6e43b0978674694e0e05a6fc2e751-getty-89643103jg031.jpg

[lefty]

Any missed shot that is not an airball is a blairball
Nice :lol

[Manufan909]

Blairissimo

:lmao I said this out loud in a horrible french accent for NO reason. Blair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am not :worthy:!

[AOMrep]

Some people have "cankles". Dejuan Blair has "frands" his hand and forearm completely boxed out the wrists.

[AOMrep]

Some consider Dejuan Blair a "Superstar" others say he might be a "White Dwarf".

[AOMrep]

There a couple of rules when it comes to handling Dejuan Blair.
Never "wet" him.
Never let light shine directly on him.
And the absolute most important rule of all....
Never EVER feed him after midn...
Ok who f...kin fed him!!??!!

[duncanCOSTARICA]

BIG BEAR BLAIR!!:ihit

[Blackjack]

No one laughs when Dejuan Blair breaks wind; they repair homes.

[Bukefal]

Players who try to take on DeJuan on court - "You've just been Blair'd".

[Blackjack]

Dejuan Blair has the Sandman sleeping with one eye opened, gripping his pillow tight.

[lefty]

Dejuan n'est pas un blaireau

[Blackjack]

Some people enjoy eating french toast.

Dejuan Blair enjoy's eating the French when they toast.

[Blackjack]

Trains are advised not to stay on the tracks when the Blair's coming through.

[AOMrep]

God created Adam and Eve from one of Dejuan Blairs ribs.

[AOMrep]

Dejuan Blair doesn't "make love" he taps asses.

[AOMrep]

Dejuan Blair already leads the League in "sprained arms per min".

[gm5k]

LOL on the website

"and DeJuan Blair allowed them to draft him with their 37th pick."

:lmao

[AOMrep]

Dejuan Blair is Darth Vaders "Father".

[AOMrep]

Dejuan Blair isn't allowed in NYC for new years cause he once blocked out 2 million in attendance to get the falling ball.

[AOMrep]

Dejuan Blair invented the real "Flux Capaciter" went back in time and taught Dr. James Naismith about something called "Basketball".

[gm5k]

Michael Jordan was once quoted in a Bulls huddle saying "Just give DeJuan Blair the ball." No one knew who he was talking about. Now...they know.

Kobe Bryant would pass the ball to DeJuan Blair.

DeJuan Blair: A beastly combination of Tim Duncan's fundamentals, David Robinson's athleticism, and James White's hype.

[AOMrep]

The movie Cloverfeild used computer graphics to hide the fact that it was Dejuan Blair wrecking havoc after a loss.

[lefty]

Elton Brand is Dejuan Blair's son

[AOMrep]

The NBA will go back and rethink the 50 greatest players and rename the greatest 50 players ever to live as "Dejuan Blair"

[lefty]

The NBA championship trophy will soon known as the Larry O'Blairian trophy

[Blackjack]

Prayers are nothing more than a futile attempt to circumvent Dejuan Blair's ultimate decision.

[AOMrep]

George Lucas got the idea for the Rancor when he saw a picture of Dejuan Blair.

[AOMrep]

The NBA championship trophy will soon known as the Larry O'Blairian trophy




Kid Rock just had a press conference letting everyone know that in fact Dejuan Blair is the "American Badass".

[Bukefal]

"When Blair is mad, he turns Green" DeJuan - the hulk - Blair

[AOMrep]

Since Dejuan Blairs arrival. The AT&T center now houses adult diapers for the road team. They've restocked them twice since.

[lefty]

Blair wears #45 because he has 4 cojones and and a 5 foot-long penis

[AOMrep]

Mario once asked Dejuan Blair to rescue the princess for him. Dejuan went the extra mile and pleasured her as well. Mario is currently divorced.

[AOMrep]

Blair 142 Ditka 0

[lefty]

Since Dejuan Blairs arrival. The AT&T center now houses adult diapers for the road team. They've restocked them twice since.
Nice timing

http://www.spurstalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=136694

[AOMrep]

In the early 80's Maxx Headrum was the CEO of a profitable company until he offended Dejuan Blair.

[lefty]

We, simple human beings, can jailbreak an Iphone

Dejuan Blair once broke a jail by himself

[Samr]

Man, I leave for a few hours to go to class and I come back to dozens of more FACTS! They keep getting better and better too, this is awesome! haha

I'll update later tonight when I get home from work. Until then, a few people have mentioned this. Below is the "ABOUT!" I wrote last night:


DeJuan Blair is not your ordinary man. Born with the low-end torque of a Holt-Cat bulldozer, blessed with the wingspan of an albatross and maddened by the audaciousness of opponents deigning to challenge him for a rebound, DeJuan Blair was biologically designed to play basketball. During the two years DeJuan Blair allowed the University of Pittsburgh to use his immense talent, Blair single-handedly physically dismantled every single opponent he faced. Upon entering the 2009 NBA Draft, almost every single front office decided their respective basketball team was not worthy of his presence. Every team, that is, except for one. Greg Popovich, R.C. Buford, Peter Holt and the San Antonio Spurs were not intimidated, and DeJuan Blair allowed them to draft him with their 37th pick.

Where DeJuan Blair decides to take his team from here is yet unknown, and admittedly, I am not in the position to speculate. But, I can tell you one important thing: the DeJuan Blair FACTS!

Feel free to make suggestions for improvement. I'm wanting to portray DeJuan Blair as accurately and as truthfully as possible here.

[bobby4germany]

Feel free to make suggestions for improvement. I'm wanting to portray DeJuan Blair as accurately and as truthfully as possible here.

:lol

I love this thread!!!

[BlackBellamy]

Dejuan Blair is a sensitive, loving young man who has been known to not be at all averse to cuddling with puppies. He wears warm fuzzy house shoes in the winter.

[lefty]

Dejuan's cojones are hai....I mean blairy

[AOMrep]

Dejuan Blair cleans up the glass so good Palmolive wants him as their spokesman. He declined and then proceeded to rip the arms off of the entire staff.

[lefty]

Dejuan once had Houston big men for Blair and Breakfast

[rayray2k8]

The legend begins..

[lefty]

Blair has ripped off so many arms vs Houston that they now refer to that game as "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre"
(Minus the chainsaw)

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

In an attempt to avoid a lawsuit for using Blair's name and likeness the developers of Mortal Kombat II created a huge black guy that ripped people's arms off but named him after the only other Spur with equally horrific violent tendencies.

http://www.mksecrets.net/images/mk2/mk2-glitches32.png

And just like that, history was made.

[lefty]

One of Blair's nicknames is "the Law abiding citizen"; he once ripped NBA players arms while he was in prison, and Stern couldn't legally do anything about it

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

One of Blair's nicknames is "the Law abiding citizen"; he once ripped NBA players arms while he was in prison, and Stern couldn't legally do anything about it

There's no way in hell his nickname would consist of words starting with those three letters.

[I. Hustle]

The Grizz walked into a bar...


he bent it.

[TIMMYD!]

I was going to twitter some of these FACTS to DeJuan but I was afraid I would get the Blair Screen of Death.

[Mr. Body]

After writing the Gospels, Matthew Mark Luke and John each wrote a letter in the sand, and then one together: B - L - A - I - R.

They had no idea why.

[Trainwreck2100]

'dejuan blair graduated from Pitt

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

6. Dejuan Blair never bangs the same chick twice because he's always on the rebound. –“spurs_fan_in_exile”

10. DeJuan Blair's quads ate up his acls because they were inferior. –Samr

11. DeJuan Blair once missed a double-double, because other team only missed 9 shots. –“Riverwalkman”


28. The Venus de Milo was actually built as a memorial for the first guy that ever tried to rebound against Dejuan Blair. –“Spurs_fan_in_exile”

30. Nobody knew what horror the people saw in the Blair which Project. Now we do. –“Peacemaker885”

Those were my top five faves from the original list.


Nice work! :tu

[Snaq O'Meal]

One of Blair's nicknames is "the Law abiding citizen"; he once ripped NBA players arms while he was in prison, and Stern couldn't legally do anything about it

lefty was once a righty before he met DeJuan Blair.

Sorry man... I just can't help it.:downspin:

[Stump]

President Obama apparently called a Blair a man and informs Blair to disarm himself from his weapons of mass destruction. Blair then goes to the White House, challenges Obama to a 1 to 1 basketball game and proceeds to disarm Obama. He now has a cast on his arm.
Good idea. I kind of shuffled the idea to see if it's any better, but it might be a little too violent.

President Bush once watched Dejuan Blair play a game of basketball. Terrified by such a show of force, he demanded that Blair disarm his weapons of mass destruction. Blair proceeded to disarm the President instead.

[Scola]

*Rebounds aren't missed shots, they're basketballs trying to escape from Dejuan Blair. Such a feat is impossible.

[lefty]

lefty was once a righty before he met DeJuan Blair.

Sorry man... I just can't help it.:downspin:

Well done sir :lol

[Juanobili]

DeJuan Blair once played a game of one-on-one against the drummer of Def Leppard. Just once.

[lefty]

Blair is armed and dangerous.

Unlike the Rockets

[Samr]

Guys (and ladies), these are seriously getting more and more funny. The website has now been categorized for ease of reference; twenty facts per category

I just put up another round. Skim to the end if you want to read the new ones. I'm quoting below the entire list, in case anyone missed some of the awesomeness that's gone up thus far.

**Special thanks to Dex, Spursfan092120, spurs_fan_in_exile, Cry Havoc, Sobe_Kucks, mad0214, AOMrep, and anyone else who I forgot.**

This is picking up on Twitter too. Seriously, this is why I love SpursTalk. Y'all never cease to be entertaining.


1. When DeJuan Blair hits the gym, it breaks. –SR

2. DeJuan Blair doesn't fight for rebounds; he uses telepathy to bring the balls to him. -SR

3. One time DeJuan passed Thabeet in the mall. Thabeet was out 4-6 weeks. -SR

4. DeJuan Blair was the latest inductee to Greek mythology. –SR

5. Dejuan Blair once blocked out both centers and rebounded a jump ball. –“spurs_fan_in_exile”

6. Dejuan Blair never bangs the same chick twice because he's always on the rebound. –“spurs_fan_in_exile”

7. Dejuan Blair once cut his own break cables. Anyone or anything foolish enough to try to stop Dejuan Blair must pay the price. –“spurs_fan_in_exile”

8. When DeJuan Blair plays there is no halftime show. The fans simply wait in anticipation. -SR

9. DeJuan Blair, similar to Barkley, is banned from Vegas. The difference is, Blair hasn't lost any money -- he's a gamble that always wins. -SR

10. DeJuan Blair's quads ate up his ACLs because they were inferior. –SR

11. DeJuan Blair once missed a double-double, because other team only missed 9 shots. –“Riverwalkman”

12. DeJuan Blair does not fight for rebounds because the word fighting implies the possibility of failure. He just goes grabbing. –“Riverwalkman”

13. DeJuan Blair always creates the first stat of a game by rebounding. –“Riverwalkman”

14. DeJuan Blair doesn't have career-ending injuries. He injures careers. -SR

15. Rebounding against DeJuan Blair requires a special permit and medical clearance. -SR

16. DeJuan Blair had to get a CDL for his posterior. -SR

17. DeJuan Blair was signed to cleanup the boards, and after he finished early, he decided to clean up the East Side as well. -SR

18. After DeJuan Blair threw Thabeet over his back, he looked toward the Pitt bench, smiled, and said "done." –SR

19. DeJuan Blair does have ACL's, That mofo is Always Collecting Loose ballS –“Slydragon”

20. DeJuan Blair gets more balls in his hands per night than a hooker does all week –“Slydragon”

21. Crop circles are DeJuan Blair's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down. –“Spursfan09”

22. Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. DeJuan Blair has 72... and they're all poisonous. –“Spursfan09”

23. Police label anyone trying to rebound over DeJuan Blair as a Code 45-11.... a suicide. –“Spursfan09”

24. "I went over to check on him, to say are you all right? Are we cool?" Blair said. "And he just walked past me. If that's the way you want to be, then that's fine. I'd do it again. Don't stick your arm in there." –DeJuan Blair, after he took Hasheem Thabeet and just… ah go look it up on YouTube, you’ll be glad you did

25. DeJuan Blair was once in a knife fight. The knife lost. –“Spursfan09”

26. People keep saying DeJuan Blair doesn’t have ACLs. I contend they’re just hiding from him. –“Blackjack21”

27. When DeJuan Blair wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken. –“Spursfan09”

28. The Venus de Milo was actually built as a memorial for the first guy that ever tried to rebound against Dejuan Blair. –“Spurs_fan_in_exile”

29. DeJuan Blair doesn't get the blue screen of death. The blue screen of death gets DeJuan Blair. –SR

30. Nobody knew what horror the people saw in the Blair which Project. Now we do. –“Peacemaker885”

31. DeJuan Blair was once asked how many arms he planned to rip off per game. He responded "Oh I'd say four to five at least." Thus, his jersey number was selected. As a warning sign. –SR

32. DeJuan Blair averages a double-double; 10 asses kicked, 10 names taken. –“Dex”

33. DeJuan Blair once bit the "Most Interesting Man in the World" just so he would know what Dos Equis tasted like. –“Longtimespursfan”
34. When DeJuan Blair hits the boards, baby willows weep in sorrow. –“Dex”
35. The last two thirds of the "R" section of Webster's Dictionary consist of pictures of Dejuan Blair. He goes after rebounds everywhere. NO EXCEPTIONS. –“spurs_fan_in_exile”
36. Sarah Palin can see Dejuan Blair from her house. –“Blackjack21”
37. The "per 48 minutes" stat calculation was invented by Dejuan Blair so everyone would know how badly he would school them if he didn't have the self restraint to let some of the bench warmers play a little. –“spurs_fan_in_exile”
38. Dejuan Blair killed Martin Lawrence because the movie "Rebound" wasn't up to his standards. –“jaffies”
39. DeJuan requires administrative access to every gym he visits, as when he walks into them the backboards hydraulically recoil into the ceiling out of fear. –“Cry Havoc”
40. Dejuan Blair doesn't close his eyes, he boxes-out the sun. –“blackjack21”
41. Helen Keller can hear when DeJuan Blair is coming. –“spursfan012120
42. Rip Van Winkle once tried to go up for a rebound against DeJuan Blair. He never woke up again. –“spursfan092120”
43. Chuck Norris once tried to roundhouse kick DeJuan Blair. He lost both arms in the incident. –“spursfan092120”
44. "The Scream" by Van Gogh was loosely based on someone trying to rebound over DeJuan Blair. –“spursfan092120”
45. DeJuan Blair once played an entire game in a handstand, running on his hands with his feet in the air. He got 27 points and 18 rebounds....in the first quarter. –“spursfan092120”
46. Unlike George Hill, Blair does not need Pop's support. However, Pop needs Blair's permission to reduce his minutes. –“Chieflion”
47. DeJuan Blair found WMD’s, but was subsequently forced to rename them WWD's (Weapons of Weak Destruction) after comparing them to his arms. –“gm5k”
48. Lorena Bobbit was with Dejuan Blair. When he upset her all she ended up with was 12 bent knives. –“AOMrep”
49. He is DeJuan and only!!!!!!!! –“gameFACE”
50. The authorities have been notified that Blair is armed and dangerous, but their are not HIS arms! –“Silverblackfan”
51. When people prepare for an incoming hurricane, they don't board their windows, they just put Dejuan Blair in front of them. –“mad0214”
52. During his college career at Pitt, the campus janitorial department didn't use Windex to clean glass, they used Dejuan Blair. –“mad0214”
53. When Bill Gates was introduced as the "Chairman of the Board", Blair shouted "We'll see about that!" and boxed him out. –“mad0214”
54. Dejuan Blair once misunderstood the exact meaning of a boarding school. –“mad0214”
55. Where you see a meteor shower, Dejuan Blair sees practice! –“mad0214”

56. Dejuan Blair doesn't understand the concept of volleyball. –“mad0214”
57. DeJuan Blair spelled backwards is “God.” –“Hipucks”
58. In an effort to improve global weather patterns, the US government has asked DeJuan Blair to "box out" El Nino. –“Sobe_Kucks”
59. After reviewing the UConn Vs. Pitt tape, North Korean leader Kim Jong-il mandated that every 3rd Korean child born (male or female) should be named DeJuan and grow a beard. This tactic is considered "essential" for the North Korean arms race. –“Sobe_Kucks”
60. It is not uncommon after a large and satisfying meal for DeJuan Blair to accidentally burp a small grizzly bear back on to the table and say "Mmmmmm good!". It is not taken as a sign of disrespect, rather it's taken as the sign of a good meal. –“Sobe_Kucks”
61. No official has ever dared to issue DeJuan Blair a technical foul, for fear of making him angry. You wouldn't like Blair when he's angry. –“Dex”
62. DeJaun Blair once won a game of Horse in 4 shots. –“Dex”
63. Any missed shot that is not an airball is a blairball –“Hater”
64. Some consider Dejuan Blair a "Superstar" others say he might be a "White Dwarf". –AOMrep
65. No one laughs when Dejuan Blair breaks wind; they repair homes. –“Blackjack21”
66. Some people enjoy eating french toast. Dejuan Blair enjoy's eating the French when they toast. –“Blackjack21”
67. Dejuan Blair isn't allowed in NYC for new years cause he once blocked out 2 million in attendance to get the falling ball. –“AOMrep”
68. Kobe Bryant would pass the ball to DeJuan Blair. –“gm5k”
69. Since Dejuan Blair’s arrival. The AT&T center now houses adult diapers for the road team. They've restocked them twice since. –“AOMrep”
70. DeJuan Blair walked into a bar. He bent it. –“I. Hustle”

[Stump]

44. "The Scream" by Van Gogh was loosely based on someone trying to rebound over DeJuan Blair. –“spursfan092120”
"The Scream" was painted by Edvard Munch, not van Gogh.

[Samr]

"The Scream" was painted by Edvard Munch, not van Gogh.

Good catch.... corrected and updated. I didn't think that sounded right, but I'm not into art so I just figured Van Gogh must have been it. I'm about as likely to guess a famous musician as I am a famous artist.

[Buddy Holly]

"The Scream" was painted by Edvard Munch, not van Gogh.

Dejuan Blair hated the name Edvard Munch so he made him change it.

[Samr]

DeJuan Blair once heard that Michael Jackson was attempting a career rebound. Michael Jackson never got that rebound.

[Spursfan092120]

"The Scream" was painted by Edvard Munch, not van Gogh.
touchee

[rayray2k8]

good stuff. :tu

This is from DeJuan Blair's twitter account.


DeJuan45
Again, I want to thank you for all your support! I had a great time playing the Clippers. I love the Spurs FANS!!!

[Samr]

good stuff. :tu

This is from DeJuan Blair's twitter account.

Think that has anything to do with us?

The dude's 20 years old. At 20 years old, I would have crapped my pants if one person was a fan of me. Let alone thousands. I imagine he's pretty close to heaven right now.

uh, I mean...

DeJuan Blair does not have fans. DeJuan Blair has apostles.

[rayray2k8]

Think that has anything to do with us?

The dude's 20 years old. At 20 years old, I would have crapped my pants if one person was a fan of me. Let alone thousands. I imagine he's pretty close to heaven right now.

uh, I mean...

DeJuan Blair does not have fans. DeJuan Blair has apostles.

:lol

I'm pretty sure he's aware of us.

[nuclearfm]

If the economy does not rebound, the Dejuan Blair act will be drafted.

[Taijihu]

Tim duncan will grab 0.1 rebounds per game for blair takes away 10 of them

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

By passing on Blair in the draft 29 NBA teams unwittingly ratified a constitutional amendment ensuring the separation of arm and shoulder.

[Spursfan092120]

Think that has anything to do with us?

The dude's 20 years old. At 20 years old, I would have crapped my pants if one person was a fan of me. Let alone thousands. I imagine he's pretty close to heaven right now.

uh, I mean...

DeJuan Blair does not have fans. DeJuan Blair has apostles.
I sent him a few of the facts to his twitter...

[Dex]

DeJuan Blair doesn't eat Wheaties for breakfast; he eats nuts and bolts in boiling motor oil.

[Strange Botwin]

DeJuan Blair is NOT a D&D nerd like some other people we know...

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

Dejuan Blair is legally protected by the second amendment's failure to specify exactly whose arms a citizen has the right to bear.

[Blackjack]

When informed he'd have to take the SAT, DeJuan Blair obliged..

The alphabet came up 3 letters short.

DeJuan Blair was told he'd be getting charged an arm and a leg for his newest vehicle..

He replied with: 'You mean I can use these as currency?'

When the tough get going..

DeJuan Blair scared 'em off.

If at first you don't succeed..

You're not Chuck Norris.

But if you even need to try..

DeJuan Blair you ain't.

How much wood, could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck, could chuck, wood?

DeJuan knows, and he's not impressed.

There's not enough time for Dejuan Blair to have too much time on his hands; his hands are that big.

When all is lost..

You're not DeJuan Blair.

DeJuan Blair has a standard for living, not of living.

DeJuan Blair knows what you did last summer; REALLY.

DeJuan Blair is death's inevitable end.

Superman is a character loosely based on DeJuan Blair..

Only loosely, though, because they felt they had to make it believable.

DeJuan Blair is his own species, and he'll never be endangered.


I better stop, I could do this all day.:lol

[egtonecity]

Dejuan Blair made Rosa Parks sit at the Back of the bus.

[lefty]

Blair couldn't be drafted lower than 37 because he ripped the arms of picks #38 and lower

[BlackBellamy]

Blair really wrote, "A Farewell to Arms"! Fuck Hemingway!

[lefty]

Blair played the role of the baseball bat in Inglorious Bastards

[BlackBellamy]

Blair once wanted to be a cop, but in his first bust a fellow officer told him to disarm the perp. Needless to say, it did not end well.

[egtonecity]

Thabeet, now armless after playing against Dejuan Blair, wonders if he will ever be able to THROW another party.

[gm5k]

The PER has had to be overhauled because of DeJuan Blair, now factoring in crucial stats such as "Arms Severed" and "Lives Destroyed".

[Samr]

Just FYI -- I'm going to do updates at the end of each day from now on, around 8-9ish.

[lefty]

Blair threw up from eating too many chicken wings during the Rockets game

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

Dejuan Blair plays wheelchair basketball in his free time. Not like you saw in "Murderball." The man can dribble and dunk a whole fucking wheelchair. Only the bravest of the brave dare watch the horrific footage of Blair's charity donkey basketball game.

[lefty]

Arms can be seen in the uncut version of the Blair Witch Project

[AOMrep]

Dejuan Blair gets his haircut with an Axe.

[AOMrep]

When Dejuan Blairs girlfriend gets sick he prescribes her a strict daily dosage of "Penisilin"

[BlackBellamy]

Chief ecomomists conclusively agree that Dejuan Blair is the leading method for the U.S. to rebound from recession.

[AOMrep]

The only thing Dejuan Blair looks up to is his forehead.

[BlackBellamy]

The original bear traps were constructed by using plaster casts of Blair's hands as blueprints.

[Samr]

When Dejuan Blairs girlfriend gets sick he prescribes her a strict daily dosage of "Penisilin"

You know, I've tried that with my fiance, and it doesn't work.


Chief ecomomists conclusively agree that Dejuan Blair is the leading method for the U.S. to rebound from recession.

I've gotten versions this one a few times and the phrasing just wasn't quite right. I think you got it.

[egtonecity]

I'm pretty sure Dejuan Blair parted the Red Sea.

[AOMrep]

The eyeballs from the Geico commercials used to be a full grown man, but he snuck up on Dejuan Blair one day. Bottom line never sneak up on Dejuan Blair.

[BlackBellamy]

Dejuan Blair once sued the United States Postal Service over their name and won, citing that they could keep the 'Al Service', but he owned the 'Post'. The jury agreed and Dejuan was given a large settlement. A side note: during the countersuit portion of the proceedings, he acted as his own defense.

[BlackBellamy]

Dejuan Blair isn't allowed at Home Depot anymore, 'cause he can't stop eating up the paint.

[Samr]

Ah what the hell, I put this in another thread:

DeJuan Blair boards quicker than New Orleans residents.

[BlackBellamy]

Blair has been known to some as a sort of modern day 'Cinderella' story. 'Cause no matter what obstacle, he's going to 'the ball'.

[Samr]

DeJuan Blair took the boy out of the balloon. (http://www.breitbart.tv/watch-live-boy-in-balloon-aircraft-soars-out-of-control-over-colorado/)

[BlackBellamy]

Arms can be seen in the uncut version of the Blair Witch Project

Someone should photoshop a Blair Witch stick figure made out of arms.

[BlackBellamy]

They say that 'no man is an island', and this remains to be true. Mainly because Blair is more of a continent.

[Mr.Bottomtooth]

Blair once wanted to be a cop, but in his first bust a fellow officer told him to disarm the perp. Needless to say, it did not end well.
:lmao

[lefty]

Blair was the main character of "no country for men with arms"

[Chieflion]

Blair rebounded the exercise ball so much, Garcia got an injury.

[AOMrep]

Dejuan Blairs first official meal in the NBA? A healthy portion of David West with a side of some Chris Paul. He likes finger foods.

[AOMrep]

Doctors have been diagnosing the Forwards and Centers in the NBA with a new strange sickness. Dejuanaphobia. The only cure is to take the night you play the Spurs off.

[AOMrep]

If you look very closely you'll notice Dejuan Blairs shadow has no arms. Dejuan ripped them off when he thought his shadow might be a threat.

[lefty]

Blair will be the new Subway spokesman, and a new sandwich will be introduced in November: the Arm Sandwich
"I lost weight thanks to the Arm diet"

[gm5k]

The 50 Greatest Players in NBA History will now be called called The 50 Most Adequate Players in NBA History as all of these players played before 1 AB (After Blair), the year DeJuan Blair single-handedly altered the definition of the word great.

[Samr]

UPDATED!

Here's the new Blairditions:


71. DeJuan Blair does not have fans. DeJuan Blair has apostles. –Sam Reinhart
72. By passing on Blair in the draft 29 NBA teams unwittingly ratified a constitutional amendment ensuring the separation of arm and shoulder. –“spurs_fan_in_exile”
73. DeJuan Blair doesn't eat Wheaties for breakfast; he eats nuts and bolts in boiling motor oil. –“Dex”
74. Dejuan Blair is legally protected by the second amendment's failure to specify exactly whose arms a citizen has the right to bear. –“spurs_fan_in_exile”
75. DeJuan Blair was told he'd be getting charged an arm and a leg for his newest vehicle. He replied, “You mean I can use these as currency?” –“Blackjack21”
76. Blair played the role of the baseball bat in Inglorious Bastards. –“lefty”
77. The PER has had to be overhauled because of DeJuan Blair, now factoring in crucial stats such as "Arms Severed" and "Lives Destroyed". –“gm5k”
78. Dejuan Blair plays wheelchair basketball in his free time. Not like you saw in "Murderball." The man can dribble and dunk a whole fucking wheelchair. Only the bravest of the brave dare watch the horrific footage of Blair's charity donkey basketball game. –“spurs_fan_in_exile”
79. Dejuan Blair gets his haircut with an Axe. –“AOMrep”
80. Chief ecomomists conclusively agree that Dejuan Blair is the leading method for the U.S. to rebound from recession. –“Blackbellamy”
81. The original bear traps were constructed by using plaster casts of Blair's hands as blueprints. –“Blackbellamy”
82. Dejuan Blair isn't allowed at Home Depot anymore, 'cause he can't stop eating up the paint. –“Blackbellamy”
83. DeJuan Blair boards quicker than New Orleans residents. –Sam Reinhart
84. Blair has been known to some as a sort of modern day 'Cinderella' story. 'Cause no matter what obstacle, he's going to 'the ball'. –“Blackbellamy”
85. Blair once wanted to be a cop, but in his first bust a fellow officer told him to disarm the perp. Needless to say, it did not end well. –“Blackbellamy”
86. If you look very closely you'll notice Dejuan Blairs shadow has no arms. Dejuan ripped them off when he thought his shadow might be a threat. –“AOMrep”

[BlackBellamy]

Dejuan Blair really wrote, "A Farewell to Arms"! F**k Hemingway!

Really? I liked this one ^. I've toned down the language now.

[tlongIII]

Here's a Blair fact. DeJuan Blair is not as good as Greg Oden.

[Riverwalkman]

Here's a Blair fact. DeJuan Blair is not as good as Greg Oden.
that's because Oden never ripped off anyone's arms.

[lefty]

Michael Jordan's career point toal is 32292
WIlt Chamberlain's career total rebounds is 23924


Dejuan Blair is on a pace of 457652 threads for his career.


Eat sh..., MJ and Wilt

[Chieflion]

There is no ACL in Dejuan Blair's dictionary.

[in2deep]

There is no ACL in Dejun Bir's phbet.

[aksyunstar]

Dejuan Blair drinks WD-40 during timeout instead of gatorade.

[AFBlue]

Ah what the hell, I put this in another thread:

DeJuan Blair boards quicker than New Orleans residents.

Or...

DeJuan Blair crashes boards harder than Hurricane Katrina.

[Chieflion]

The recently created Airlines service known as "Blairlines" allows you to board automatically, just like Dejuan Blair.

[lefty]

Barack Obama was forced to create a 51st state so Dejuan Blair could build his house.

Adios Canada.

[UnWantedTheory]

The only way to make God laugh is to tell him your plans. Blair laughs when God tells him his.

[UnWantedTheory]

Dejuan Blair eats basketballs and shits championships.

[UnWantedTheory]

Dejuan Blair created basketball in 6 days and on the 7th, he rested.

[UnWantedTheory]

The only person who can beat Dejuan Blair is Dejuan Blair, and even he is afraid.

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

Dejuan Blair is in talks to star in a film about a man who rebounds so relentlessly that his opponents flee to Asia for sex change operations because that is the only way to be sure that they will never have to play against him in any basketball league or Olympic games. It's already getting buzz as an early favorite to win the Oscar for Best Documentary.

[UnWantedTheory]

Here's a Blair fact. DeJuan Blair is not as good as Greg Oden.

Through his time traveling as a Basketball Jedi, he attempted to teach the one named Oden. He can not be defeated by such a lousy pupil.

[UnWantedTheory]

Someone once made a fictitious statement regarding Blair. He said, "He too, shall pass." But he wont. He will always be with us.

[UnWantedTheory]

On the court, Blair is like the wind, you may not see him, but you feel him.

[UnWantedTheory]

In Dejuan We Trust

[mathbzh]

The ancient Greeks believed Atlas had to carry the celestial spheres on his shoulders.
It was just Dejuan Blair rebounding the stars.

[lefty]

Blair looks harmless, but he can make you armless

[symple19]

great thread - good stuff

[cool cat]

Kanye West once interrupted Dennis Rodman to say Blair is one of the greatest rebounders of all time.

[lefty]

Dejuan Blair is now able to break in Thabeet's house, through the fingerprint recognition system, by using Thabeet's arm he borrowed from their last matchup.

[SnakeBoy]

Ever since he got an NBA contract all Dejuan's friends are mad at him because everytime he tries to throw them a bone he breaks their arms trying to get the rebound.

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

Anyone rehabbing a broken arm should get treatment from a physical Blairapist.

[lefty]

A Federal Judge has ruled that Dejuan Blair is not allowed to shake hands anymore in the U.S

But it's ok to do it in other countries.

[Darkwaters]

We probably need a list of facts on how Thabeet reacts when he hears Blair's name.

[lefty]

We probably need a list of facts on how Thabeet reacts when he hears Blair's name.
You obviously haven't watched the movie " Dude, where's my arm? "

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

Dejuan Blair won a Grammy for the way he was able to put Thabeet down.

[lefty]

Dejuan Blair won a Grammy for the way he was able to put Thabeet down.
You mean a Garmy?

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

The Cavaliers' players who claim to be sick are really just faking it to avoid playing against Blair. The have real bad cases of H1-Dejuan.

[xellos88330]

After DeJuan Blairs first preseason game vs. the Houston Rockets, the FCC suspended the NBA from showing the San Antonio Spurs preseason games on television for possible future bloodshed and gore. The Spurs games will be rated 'MA' for violence and gore for the regular season.

[Mel_13]

The Cavaliers' players who claim to be sick are really just faking it to avoid playing against Blair. The have real bad cases of H1-Dejuan.

:lol

[Interrohater]

Kanye West once interrupted Dennis Rodman to say Blair is one of the greatest rebounders of all time.
:lol

[lefty]

After Manu fell on the floor during practice, Blair helped him to get up

after that, Manu was forced to retire

[senorglory]

DeJuan Blair has never stood around holding a purse, while his girlfriend shopped.

[raspsa]

As a precaution, Pop has banned the practice of giving high-fives.. he's afraid that Dejuan might get carried away in the excitement and you-know-what might happen.

[Chieflion]

The old refs left because there is no clause in the new agreement that protects them from Dejuan Blair.

Dejuan Blair entered the draft after the sophomore year because David Stern blacklisted him that year from the NBA. He had to be threatened, by Dejuan Blair.

[Samr]

I just did a big update. Congratulations to Cool Cat on his obvious manipulation of my chronological order. There are some really good ones, posted below is the list. (In case anyone cares: I check the website every day; if it gets traffic, I continue to update. It's still getting a ton of traffic.)


87. Dejuan Blair thinks ACL’S are for little girls. – Chris
88. DeJuan Blair pities the fool who gets inbetween him and a loose ball. –“jng”
89. DeJuan Blair was the reason Balloon Boy was hiding. – Sam Reinhart
90. They say that 'no man is an island', and this remains to be true. Mainly because Blair is more of a continent. –“Blackbellamy”
91. Blair was the main character of "no country for men with arms" –“Lefty”
92. Dejuan Blairs first official meal in the NBA? A healthy portion of David West with a side of some Chris Paul. He likes finger foods. –“AOMrep”
93. There is no ACL in Dejun Bir's phbet. –“Chieflion/in2deep”
94. Dejuan Blair drinks WD-40 during timeout instead of gatorade. – “AFBlue”
95. The recently created Airlines service known as "Blairlines" allows you to board automatically, just like Dejuan Blair. –“Chieflion”
96. The only way to make God laugh is to tell him your plans. Blair laughs when God tells him his. –“UnwantedTheory”
97. Dejuan Blair eats basketballs and shits championships. –“UnwantedTheory”
98. Dejuan Blair is in talks to star in a film about a man who rebounds so relentlessly that his opponents flee to Asia for sex change operations because that is the only way to be sure that they will never have to play against him in any basketball league or Olympic games. It's already getting buzz as an early favorite to win the Oscar for Best Documentary. –“spurs_fan_in_exile”
99. On the court, Blair is like the wind, you may not see him, but you feel him. –“UnwantedTheory”
100. Kanye West once interrupted Dennis Rodman to say Blair is one of the greatest rebounders of all time. –“Cool cat”
101. The Cavaliers' players who claim to be sick are really just faking it to avoid playing against Blair. The have real bad cases of H1-Dejuan. –“spurs_fan_in_exile”

[Manufan909]

Dejuan Blair is in talks to star in a film about a man who rebounds so relentlessly that his opponents flee to Asia for sex change operations because that is the only way to be sure that they will never have to play against him in any basketball league or Olympic games. It's already getting buzz as an early favorite to win the Oscar for Best Documentary.

88, 98, and 100 are so funny!!!

Oh, and who's jng?

[Blackjack]

There's an old saying that you never want to be between a rock and a hard place..

But a hard place never wants to be between a rock and DeJuan Blair.

[smrattler]

He hangs a sign on his gate to warn potential intruders that reads:

"BEWARE OF BLAIR"

[Leetonidas]

DeJuan Blair CAN believe it's not butter.

[Man In Black]

DeJuan Blair is the 1 guy who can go to a horror movie and scream don't open that door...and the characters on screen actually listen to him.

[Chieflion]

DeJuan Blair is the 1 guy who can go to a horror movie and scream don't open that door...and the characters on screen actually listen to him.
I am sorry. Dejuan blair is a man and he does not scream.


Dejuan Blair fact: Dejuan Blair was the original Stone Cold, Arrive, Raise Hell, Kick Ass, rip arms off, and then leave.

[Samr]

DeJuan Blair CAN believe it's not butter.

This is awesomely funny.

I want to remind y'all: I am clever, but this website will not exist without y'all. Even if you think you are merely borderline funny, write something. I laugh pretty easily. And even if I don't laugh, chances are still good that someone will. It's not all that hard to get quoted. So submit what you know to be the truth about DeJuan Blair! He is still a mystery to some people, believe it or not.

But above all else, have fun. If you think this thread has run its course, let it go, lock it, whatever; if you have something meaningful and original to contribute, I will publish it.

This year's Spurs team is too good not to get excited about. So let's have at it! Let's cheer them all the way to the championship! Let's root for our favorite players, make deities of those that provide the opportunity for humor, and support the team because we owe back to them the entertainment they gave to us.

GO SPURS GO!!!

[Manufan909]

Woot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SKINNYPIMP210]

http://www.nba.com/video/games/thunder/2009/10/20/0010900096_sas_okc_recap.nba/index.html?ls=gt1hp0010900096

Highlights up

[Interrohater]

Dejuan Blair thinks cocaine is for punks and so he snorts asbestos.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, Dejuan Blair was once simply known as "the Force."

Upon his birth, Dejuan Blair came out arms first and pulled himself out, saving his family doctors' fees.

When learning that he had the right to bear arms, Dejuan Blair immediately assualted a bear.

Dejuan Blair got Stella's groove back.

[SKINNYPIMP210]

When learning that he had the right to bear arms, Dejuan Blair immediately assualted a bear.

I love that one!!!

[raspsa]

When Pop discussed the Spurs philosophy of "pounding the rock", Dejuan misunderstood and beat up Dwayne Johnson.

[Interrohater]

Sharks watch "Dejuan Blair week".

ESPN should be sued for false advertisement, as we all know Dejuan Blair is the Worldwide Leader in Sports.

Dejuan Blair is so humble and modest, you still have your arms.

[mingus]

DeJuan Blair never loses track of time; time loses track of DeJuan Blair

[Mojazz]

http://i263.photobucket.com/albums/ii144/Justinkyle18/Blair.jpg

[Interrohater]

nice wall

[Manufan909]

When Pop discussed the Spurs philosophy of "pounding the rock", Dejuan misunderstood and beat up Dwayne Johnson.

Winner for Oct. 21st!!!!

[Blackjack]

DeJuan Blair never loses track of time; time loses track of DeJuan Blair


DeJuan Blair can never have too much time on his hands; their too big.