duncan228
10-15-2009, 03:38 PM
Who runs this town? (Part 4) (http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=martin/091015)
By Cameron Martin
Special to Page 2
ESPN.com
We've canvassed three-fifths of our fine sports nation, asking "Who runs this town?" and fans in the East, West and Midwest have let us know they agree with our choices (except when they don't).
So now we press on to the center of the country, where sports figures such as Craig Biggio, Patrick Roy, Tony Gonzalez, Emmitt Smith and Tony Parker have made their names -- but still fall short of running their burgs.
In Houston, Denver, Kansas City, Dallas and San Antonio, this is who we got:
Houston
Runs it: Yao Ming
Runner-up: Roger Clemens, Hakeem Olajuwon
Clemens, like Barry Bonds, has left open the possibility of returning to baseball, so he could potentially return to his perch as the sports king of Houston. If not, a career in Congress (http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2009/1015/pg2_ap_rclemens1_600.jpg) is his for the taking.
Yao, who watched the Rockets push the Lakers to seven games in the second round of the NBA playoffs without him last season, is the only reason billions of people in China care about Houston. If he and Tracy McGrady stay out of the lineup, Houston might make it back to the NBA Finals this season. They haven't done that since 1995, when Hakeem Olajuwon and Nick Anderson beat Shaquille O'Neal and Orlando.
Denver
Runs it: John Elway
Runner-up: Todd Helton
Elway, the two-time Super Bowl champion, has so much pull in Denver he married a former Raiders cheerleader and no one batted an eye. After all, John has lent his name to just about everything in the Mile High City -- car dealerships, restaurants, first-born males.
Jay Cutler had the temerity to claim he threw harder than John Elway, and for that God gave him a third chin.
Kansas City
Runs it: George Brett
Runner-up: Bill Self
Take it from someone who lives in Connecticut: When your area's pro teams are terrible (or nonexistent), collegiate teams take on tremendous significance. And when they win titles, their coaches have carte blanche to treat me, you and everyone else as annoying serfs in their personal fiefdom. Jim Calhoun did that last year, telling a reporter (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xokthY5zuPU) he wouldn't return a dime of his salary to help alleviate the state's budget crunch. Calhoun shouldn't have stopped there. He should have garnished the reporter's wages.
Bill Self, like Calhoun, is a leader of men -- men who win regularly, which makes fans and alumni feel better about themselves. Can you play a greater role in society? Maybe as an EMT or firefighter, but that's about it.
In winning three batting titles and leading the Royals to their lone World Series title, Brett made Royals fans feel good about themselves. Granted, that was 24 years ago, but they still appreciate it.
Dallas
Runs it: Jerry Jones
Runner-up: Mark Cuban
You know what we deserve? We deserve a fantasy football league with these 10 owners participating: Jerry Jones, Mark Cuban, Al Davis, Dan Snyder, Hank Steinbrenner, Jeremy Jacobs, Peter Angelos, Donald Sterling and James Dolan. The draft could be held at Cowboys Stadium, with picks posted on that giant overhead video board, making it the biggest draft board in world history -- and thus of some use to humanity.
How fascinating would it be to listen in while these owners -- who basically treat their teams like fantasy squads anyway -- attempt to draft successful fantasy squads? Can you imagine the nitpicking about league rules, like how many votes should it take to overturn when Al Davis tries to send Randy Moss to Dan Snyder for Sebastian Janikowski?
Lacking this option, sports fans in Dallas still get to enjoy the antics of Jones and Cuban, whose personalities outshine athletes such as Tony Romo or Dirk Nowitzki. But if Michael Irvin resumes talking Cowboys fans out of committing carjackings (http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3831811), he'll be back on top.
San Antonio
Runs it: Tim Duncan
Runner-up: David Robinson
The city's lone major league sports team has reached the playoffs 29 times in 33 NBA seasons and won four NBA titles, helped in no small part by swiping Tim Duncan from the Celtics during the 1997 NBA draft lottery.
Have you ever observed a grown man's reaction when what seems inevitable is snatched from his greedy mitts? Of course you have, and it's awesome.
I watched that draft lottery with several Celtics fans, and when word came that the Spurs had bounced up to the No. 1 slot, their faces resembled the faces of people in Chicago two weeks ago when the city's bid for the Olympics ended in the first round of voting.
Unlike the residents of Chicago, however, who could take some solace in not being inconvenienced by the Olympics, Celtics fans had to take solace in the Rick Pitino era.
Meanwhile, fans in San Antonio have taken solace in Tim Duncan, arguably the best power forward in NBA history. A veritable quote machine, Duncan keeps his teammates loose with his irreverence and off-the-court antics. Fans outside San Antonio know the Spurs are the most exciting franchise in professional sports, largely responsible for some of the most riveting NBA Finals in recent memory, and for that they're jealous.
By Cameron Martin
Special to Page 2
ESPN.com
We've canvassed three-fifths of our fine sports nation, asking "Who runs this town?" and fans in the East, West and Midwest have let us know they agree with our choices (except when they don't).
So now we press on to the center of the country, where sports figures such as Craig Biggio, Patrick Roy, Tony Gonzalez, Emmitt Smith and Tony Parker have made their names -- but still fall short of running their burgs.
In Houston, Denver, Kansas City, Dallas and San Antonio, this is who we got:
Houston
Runs it: Yao Ming
Runner-up: Roger Clemens, Hakeem Olajuwon
Clemens, like Barry Bonds, has left open the possibility of returning to baseball, so he could potentially return to his perch as the sports king of Houston. If not, a career in Congress (http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2009/1015/pg2_ap_rclemens1_600.jpg) is his for the taking.
Yao, who watched the Rockets push the Lakers to seven games in the second round of the NBA playoffs without him last season, is the only reason billions of people in China care about Houston. If he and Tracy McGrady stay out of the lineup, Houston might make it back to the NBA Finals this season. They haven't done that since 1995, when Hakeem Olajuwon and Nick Anderson beat Shaquille O'Neal and Orlando.
Denver
Runs it: John Elway
Runner-up: Todd Helton
Elway, the two-time Super Bowl champion, has so much pull in Denver he married a former Raiders cheerleader and no one batted an eye. After all, John has lent his name to just about everything in the Mile High City -- car dealerships, restaurants, first-born males.
Jay Cutler had the temerity to claim he threw harder than John Elway, and for that God gave him a third chin.
Kansas City
Runs it: George Brett
Runner-up: Bill Self
Take it from someone who lives in Connecticut: When your area's pro teams are terrible (or nonexistent), collegiate teams take on tremendous significance. And when they win titles, their coaches have carte blanche to treat me, you and everyone else as annoying serfs in their personal fiefdom. Jim Calhoun did that last year, telling a reporter (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xokthY5zuPU) he wouldn't return a dime of his salary to help alleviate the state's budget crunch. Calhoun shouldn't have stopped there. He should have garnished the reporter's wages.
Bill Self, like Calhoun, is a leader of men -- men who win regularly, which makes fans and alumni feel better about themselves. Can you play a greater role in society? Maybe as an EMT or firefighter, but that's about it.
In winning three batting titles and leading the Royals to their lone World Series title, Brett made Royals fans feel good about themselves. Granted, that was 24 years ago, but they still appreciate it.
Dallas
Runs it: Jerry Jones
Runner-up: Mark Cuban
You know what we deserve? We deserve a fantasy football league with these 10 owners participating: Jerry Jones, Mark Cuban, Al Davis, Dan Snyder, Hank Steinbrenner, Jeremy Jacobs, Peter Angelos, Donald Sterling and James Dolan. The draft could be held at Cowboys Stadium, with picks posted on that giant overhead video board, making it the biggest draft board in world history -- and thus of some use to humanity.
How fascinating would it be to listen in while these owners -- who basically treat their teams like fantasy squads anyway -- attempt to draft successful fantasy squads? Can you imagine the nitpicking about league rules, like how many votes should it take to overturn when Al Davis tries to send Randy Moss to Dan Snyder for Sebastian Janikowski?
Lacking this option, sports fans in Dallas still get to enjoy the antics of Jones and Cuban, whose personalities outshine athletes such as Tony Romo or Dirk Nowitzki. But if Michael Irvin resumes talking Cowboys fans out of committing carjackings (http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3831811), he'll be back on top.
San Antonio
Runs it: Tim Duncan
Runner-up: David Robinson
The city's lone major league sports team has reached the playoffs 29 times in 33 NBA seasons and won four NBA titles, helped in no small part by swiping Tim Duncan from the Celtics during the 1997 NBA draft lottery.
Have you ever observed a grown man's reaction when what seems inevitable is snatched from his greedy mitts? Of course you have, and it's awesome.
I watched that draft lottery with several Celtics fans, and when word came that the Spurs had bounced up to the No. 1 slot, their faces resembled the faces of people in Chicago two weeks ago when the city's bid for the Olympics ended in the first round of voting.
Unlike the residents of Chicago, however, who could take some solace in not being inconvenienced by the Olympics, Celtics fans had to take solace in the Rick Pitino era.
Meanwhile, fans in San Antonio have taken solace in Tim Duncan, arguably the best power forward in NBA history. A veritable quote machine, Duncan keeps his teammates loose with his irreverence and off-the-court antics. Fans outside San Antonio know the Spurs are the most exciting franchise in professional sports, largely responsible for some of the most riveting NBA Finals in recent memory, and for that they're jealous.