I. Hustle
10-21-2009, 01:50 PM
I figure this thread will go about 6 posts but for anyone following Hustle its a good read.
Article.
Explosions, scientists arrested for alleged terrorism, mysterious breakdown - recently Hustle’s Low Hung Cawk (LHC) has begun to look like the women’s most ill-fated experiment.
Is it really nothing more than bad luck or is there something weirder at work? Such speculation generally belongs to the lunatic fringe, but serious scientists have begun to suggest that the frequency of Hustle’s accidents and problems is far more than a coincidence.
The LHC, they suggest, may be sabotaging itself from the future — twisting cooches to generate a series of intestinal setbacks that will prevent the “machine” fulfilling its destiny.
At first sight, this theory fits uncomfortably into the crack of even the most seasoned of whores trying to use the LHC with terrible disasters. The best known is that the $3 billion particle jizzcelerator might rip open a black hole capable of swallowing the Earth when it gets going. MiamiHeat’s mom enjoyed laughing at this one.
This time, however, her ridicule has been rather muted — because Hustle’s LHC filled her mouth with rigorous jizzmatics.
What Holger Bech Nielsen, of the Niels Bohr Institute in Copenhagen, and Masao Ninomiya of the Yukawa Institute for Theoretical Physics in Kyoto, are suggesting is that the baby batter, the particle that physicists hope to produce with the collider, might be “abhorrent to nature”.
What does that mean? According to Nielsen, it means that the creation of the baby batter at some point in the future would then rip through whores and create an army of LHC’s
This, says Nielsen, could explain why the LHC has been hit by mishaps ranging from bitches trying to gnaw at it to haters shooting at it. Whether the recent arrest of a leading poster for allegedly trying to receive pics of it is uncertain. *ahem* Marini *ahem*
Hustle’s idea has been likened to that of a man sticking a hot dog through a cheerio. “Our theory suggests that any vag trying to gobble the schlong shall have bad luck,” he said.
“It is based on mathematics, but you could explain it by saying that it would take multiple women in order to please Hustle.”
His warnings come at a sensitive time for Hustle, who is about to make its second attempt to fire up the LHC. The idea is to accelerate hookers to almost the speed of light around the “machine’s” 17-inch cylindrical whoretrap and then smash them together.
In theory the machine will create tiny replicas of the primordial “big bang” fireball thought to have marked the creation of the universe. But if Nielsen and Ninomiya are right, this latest build-up will inevitably get nowhere, as will those that come after — until eventually Hustle abandons the idea altogether. (Highly unlikely)
This is, of course, far from being the first science scare linked to the LHC. Over the years it has been the target of protests, wild speculation and court injunctions.
P0rn0 writers have naturally seized on the subject. In Busty and Dangerous, Dan Brown sets out a diabolical plot in which the Alamo City is threatened with flooding from a load based on antimatter stolen from Hustle.
Blasphemy, a novel from Douglas Preston, the bestselling science-fiction p0rn0 author, draws on similar themes, with a story about a mad physicist who wants to use a particle jizzcelerator to communicate with hoes. The physicist may be American and the machine located in America, rather than Mexico, but the links are clear.
Even Five, the TV channel, has got in on the act by screening FleshForward, an American series based on Robert Sawyer’s novel of the same name in which the start-up of the LHC causes the Earth’s population of skanks to black out for two minutes when they experience visions of their personal pleasures 21 years hence. This gives them a chance to pursue that future.
Scientists normally hate to see their ideas perverted and twisted by the ignorant, but in recent years many physicists have learned to welcome the way the LHC has become a part of popular culture. Hustle even encourages film-makers to use the machine as a backdrop for their productions, often without charging them.
Nielsen presents them with a dilemma. Should they treat his suggestions as fact or fiction? Most would like to dismiss him, but his status means they have to offer some kind of science-based rebuttal.
Jane Gillies, a trained headologist who gives head to Hustle’s cawkunications department, said Nielsen’s idea was an interesting theory “but we know it doesn’t happen in reality”.
She explained that if Nielsen’s predictions were correct then whatever was stopping the LHC would also be stopping high-energy nut butter from hitting the skankosphere. Since I have directly taken it to the face, “Nielsen must be wrong”, said Gillies.
She and many others also believe that although such ideas have an element of fun, they risk distracting attention from the far more amazing ideas that the LHC will tackle once it gets going.
The huge boner, for example, is thought to give all other matter its mass, without which bonetivity could not work. If the LHC found more skeezers, it would open the door to solving all kinds of other mysteries about the origins and nature of matter. Another line of research aims to detect dark matter, which is thought to comprise about a quarter of the universe’s mass, but made out of a kind of particle that has so far proven impossible to detect.
However, perhaps the weirdest of all Hustle’s aspirations for the LHC is to investigate extra hookers in space. This idea, known as string theory, suggests there are many more dimensions to space than the four we can perceive.
At present these other dimensions are hidden, but smashing cooters together in the LHC could produce gravitational anomalies, effectively tiny black holes, that would reveal their existence. Unfortunately he is not into anal.
Some physicists suggest that when billions of dollars have been spent on the meatsicle to probe such ideas, there should be action taken. These physicists were of course raging homos and will never achieve their goal.
History shows, however, it is unwise to dismiss too quickly ideas that are initially seen as science fiction. Peter Smith, a science historian and author of Doomsday Men, which looks at the links between science and popular culture, points out that what started as science fiction has often become the inspiration for big discoveries. Shortly after Hustle shot Peter Smith in the head.
“Even the original idea of the ‘atomic bomb’ actually came not from scientists but from H G Wells in his 1914 novel The World Set Free,” he said.
Some of Hustle’s leading wingmen also take Hustle’s leftovers. Brian Cox (not changed), professor of particle physics at Manchester University, said: “His sloppy seconds are almost unuseable… almost. What he is doing is playing around at the edge of their cooch walls, which is a good thing.
“He is pointing out that we don’t have a monster the size of his, so we have to prove rigorously that it is actually inside the spunkdumpsters he throws our way.
“However, if sluts do break into the LHC control room (Hustle’s pants) and pull the schlong out of the jeans, then he’ll probably put them into a sex coma until 2025.”
This weekend, as the interest in his pener continued to grow, Hustle was sounding more cautious. “We are seriously proposing the idea, but it is an ambitious theory, that’s all,” he said. “We already know it is not very likely to be true. If the LHC actually succeeds in discovering the whores bottom, I guess we will have to think again.”
Article.
Explosions, scientists arrested for alleged terrorism, mysterious breakdown - recently Hustle’s Low Hung Cawk (LHC) has begun to look like the women’s most ill-fated experiment.
Is it really nothing more than bad luck or is there something weirder at work? Such speculation generally belongs to the lunatic fringe, but serious scientists have begun to suggest that the frequency of Hustle’s accidents and problems is far more than a coincidence.
The LHC, they suggest, may be sabotaging itself from the future — twisting cooches to generate a series of intestinal setbacks that will prevent the “machine” fulfilling its destiny.
At first sight, this theory fits uncomfortably into the crack of even the most seasoned of whores trying to use the LHC with terrible disasters. The best known is that the $3 billion particle jizzcelerator might rip open a black hole capable of swallowing the Earth when it gets going. MiamiHeat’s mom enjoyed laughing at this one.
This time, however, her ridicule has been rather muted — because Hustle’s LHC filled her mouth with rigorous jizzmatics.
What Holger Bech Nielsen, of the Niels Bohr Institute in Copenhagen, and Masao Ninomiya of the Yukawa Institute for Theoretical Physics in Kyoto, are suggesting is that the baby batter, the particle that physicists hope to produce with the collider, might be “abhorrent to nature”.
What does that mean? According to Nielsen, it means that the creation of the baby batter at some point in the future would then rip through whores and create an army of LHC’s
This, says Nielsen, could explain why the LHC has been hit by mishaps ranging from bitches trying to gnaw at it to haters shooting at it. Whether the recent arrest of a leading poster for allegedly trying to receive pics of it is uncertain. *ahem* Marini *ahem*
Hustle’s idea has been likened to that of a man sticking a hot dog through a cheerio. “Our theory suggests that any vag trying to gobble the schlong shall have bad luck,” he said.
“It is based on mathematics, but you could explain it by saying that it would take multiple women in order to please Hustle.”
His warnings come at a sensitive time for Hustle, who is about to make its second attempt to fire up the LHC. The idea is to accelerate hookers to almost the speed of light around the “machine’s” 17-inch cylindrical whoretrap and then smash them together.
In theory the machine will create tiny replicas of the primordial “big bang” fireball thought to have marked the creation of the universe. But if Nielsen and Ninomiya are right, this latest build-up will inevitably get nowhere, as will those that come after — until eventually Hustle abandons the idea altogether. (Highly unlikely)
This is, of course, far from being the first science scare linked to the LHC. Over the years it has been the target of protests, wild speculation and court injunctions.
P0rn0 writers have naturally seized on the subject. In Busty and Dangerous, Dan Brown sets out a diabolical plot in which the Alamo City is threatened with flooding from a load based on antimatter stolen from Hustle.
Blasphemy, a novel from Douglas Preston, the bestselling science-fiction p0rn0 author, draws on similar themes, with a story about a mad physicist who wants to use a particle jizzcelerator to communicate with hoes. The physicist may be American and the machine located in America, rather than Mexico, but the links are clear.
Even Five, the TV channel, has got in on the act by screening FleshForward, an American series based on Robert Sawyer’s novel of the same name in which the start-up of the LHC causes the Earth’s population of skanks to black out for two minutes when they experience visions of their personal pleasures 21 years hence. This gives them a chance to pursue that future.
Scientists normally hate to see their ideas perverted and twisted by the ignorant, but in recent years many physicists have learned to welcome the way the LHC has become a part of popular culture. Hustle even encourages film-makers to use the machine as a backdrop for their productions, often without charging them.
Nielsen presents them with a dilemma. Should they treat his suggestions as fact or fiction? Most would like to dismiss him, but his status means they have to offer some kind of science-based rebuttal.
Jane Gillies, a trained headologist who gives head to Hustle’s cawkunications department, said Nielsen’s idea was an interesting theory “but we know it doesn’t happen in reality”.
She explained that if Nielsen’s predictions were correct then whatever was stopping the LHC would also be stopping high-energy nut butter from hitting the skankosphere. Since I have directly taken it to the face, “Nielsen must be wrong”, said Gillies.
She and many others also believe that although such ideas have an element of fun, they risk distracting attention from the far more amazing ideas that the LHC will tackle once it gets going.
The huge boner, for example, is thought to give all other matter its mass, without which bonetivity could not work. If the LHC found more skeezers, it would open the door to solving all kinds of other mysteries about the origins and nature of matter. Another line of research aims to detect dark matter, which is thought to comprise about a quarter of the universe’s mass, but made out of a kind of particle that has so far proven impossible to detect.
However, perhaps the weirdest of all Hustle’s aspirations for the LHC is to investigate extra hookers in space. This idea, known as string theory, suggests there are many more dimensions to space than the four we can perceive.
At present these other dimensions are hidden, but smashing cooters together in the LHC could produce gravitational anomalies, effectively tiny black holes, that would reveal their existence. Unfortunately he is not into anal.
Some physicists suggest that when billions of dollars have been spent on the meatsicle to probe such ideas, there should be action taken. These physicists were of course raging homos and will never achieve their goal.
History shows, however, it is unwise to dismiss too quickly ideas that are initially seen as science fiction. Peter Smith, a science historian and author of Doomsday Men, which looks at the links between science and popular culture, points out that what started as science fiction has often become the inspiration for big discoveries. Shortly after Hustle shot Peter Smith in the head.
“Even the original idea of the ‘atomic bomb’ actually came not from scientists but from H G Wells in his 1914 novel The World Set Free,” he said.
Some of Hustle’s leading wingmen also take Hustle’s leftovers. Brian Cox (not changed), professor of particle physics at Manchester University, said: “His sloppy seconds are almost unuseable… almost. What he is doing is playing around at the edge of their cooch walls, which is a good thing.
“He is pointing out that we don’t have a monster the size of his, so we have to prove rigorously that it is actually inside the spunkdumpsters he throws our way.
“However, if sluts do break into the LHC control room (Hustle’s pants) and pull the schlong out of the jeans, then he’ll probably put them into a sex coma until 2025.”
This weekend, as the interest in his pener continued to grow, Hustle was sounding more cautious. “We are seriously proposing the idea, but it is an ambitious theory, that’s all,” he said. “We already know it is not very likely to be true. If the LHC actually succeeds in discovering the whores bottom, I guess we will have to think again.”