Had yesterday off. Wife thought it would be nice if I went to HEB with her.

[BacktoBasics]

She never learns. It was pretty much on from the moment we walked in the doors. We started in produce and I begun handling all the cucumbers. I would say things really loud like

"I bet I know why you want cuCUMbers"

and

"Hey hun look at how this curves to the left"

Then I went and picked out some sausage while she hit the cheese and meat butcher. She saw me from far away and I started stroking the V&V and then pretended to lick the link up and down. The look of shock was probably enough but the lady in front of her thought I was looking at her not my wife so I got a few "WTF" looks.

Then I started pining for beer.

"look hun they got Shiner black. So warm and black and wet". Then I'd run my fingers up and down the bottle while rubbing the condensation all over my face.

For the grand finale I announced all the phallic looking objects as the old checker lady ran them.

"wow those sure are some long and firm cucumbers"

"look at those long black and wet bottle necks mmmmm"

"that tube of ground turkey looks so thick and meaty...you like thick and meaty don't you hun"




By the time we got to car she had her rant all ready to go

"what the hell is wrong with you"

"your a fucking child"

"you son behaves better than you do"

"that lady thought you were sexually harassing her"

on and on.

I just laughed and then turned up the radio.

[Fpoonsie]

Your wife still takes you in public w/ her?

She sure catches on quick.

[AmericanWoman]

This story is too predictable. You really need some new material.

[Fpoonsie]

This story is too predictable. You really need some new material.

So are your responses, pot.

[CosmicCowboy]

So did those sausages you licked go through the checkout stand too? I notice you didn't mention them.

[xtremesteven33]

Gotta agree with your wife....you are pretty annoying.

[katyon6th]

I wouldn't take you out in public.

[BacktoBasics]

I wouldn't take you out in public.I'd prefer my time with you to be in private anyway.

[Crookshanks]

This has to be a joke right? You didn't really behave that way did you? Man - if you did, not only would I have been mortified and furious, I wouldn't go out in public with you ever again. Why in the world would you want to embarrass your wife that way?

I really hope this is a joke thread...

[to21]

This has to be a joke right? You didn't really behave that way did you? Man - if you did, not only would I have been mortified and furious, I wouldn't go out in public with you ever again. Why in the world would you want to embarrass your wife that way?

I really hope this is a joke thread...Noob!

[BacktoBasics]

This has to be a joke right? You didn't really behave that way did you? Man - if you did, not only would I have been mortified and furious, I wouldn't go out in public with you ever again. Why in the world would you want to embarrass your wife that way?

I really hope this is a joke thread...I harass my wife to no end. I swear on my sons life that I truly honestly act this way in public. The licking of the sausage was priceless. Her look of fear and fright partnered with an ever so subtle desire to laugh is why I keep doing what I do.

[BacktoBasics]

This story is too predictable. You really need some new material.The only thing that's truly predictable is the fact that you'll spend the rest of your miserable existence getting fatter and lonelier.

[ATRAIN]

I harass my wife to no end. I swear on my sons life that I truly honestly act this way in public. The licking of the sausage was priceless. Her look of fear and fright partnered with an ever so subtle desire to laugh is why I keep doing what I do.

So did she hold out on you that night?

[BacktoBasics]

So did she hold out on you that night?I wear the pants bro. I don't get held out on. I do the holding.

[AmericanWoman]

So are your responses, pot.

So is your love and I don't smoke pot.

[CosmicCowboy]

I wear the pants bro. I don't get held out on. I do the holding.

But he DID look funny banging his wife with that LONG, THICK, CURVED cuCUMber shoved up his ass.

[AmericanWoman]

I wear the pants bro. I don't get held out on. I do the holding.

You sure do :jack .

[doobs]

I'm all for sexually-suggestive jokes in public, so long as they're funny. So you fail.

[BacktoBasics]

You sure do :jack .Your obsession with me is flattering and frightening.

Why don't you step up to my shtick and post some pictures of yourself to put all these fat jokes to rest.


I'm all for sexually-suggestive jokes in public, so long as they're funny. So you fail.Well I do it to entertain myself so ultimately your opinion doesn't mean shit.

[EricB]

Im shocked your still married.

[BacktoBasics]

Im shocked your still married.Deep down inside she loves my antics.

[Mark in Austin]

But he DID look funny banging his wife with that LONG, THICK, CURVED cuCUMber shoved up his ass.

:lol

[BlackSwordsMan]

uh how old are you?

[BacktoBasics]

uh how old are you?You're right I should relegate myself to being a boring old coon and just behave with dignity and respect in public. Loads of fucking fun in that.

[Dan Rather]

I would ask if your wife hides cucumbers under her bed but from reading some of your other threads........I'd rather not.

[Neutral Guy]

I can't decide what my take on this is.

[katyon6th]

Loads of fucking fun


:elephant

Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe.

[koriwhat]

oh no it's ericb... and just to be a dick, well, ericb it's "you're" not "your". i hate when people correct others on the internet but sometimes it's got to be done.

dude what was your name a while back before you made the switch and racked up even more posts then i have? fuckin' shit "your" at 5k+ now? damn!

ps: b2b keep it up bro! life is about having fun!

[mrsmaalox]

You're right I should relegate myself to being a boring old coon and just behave with dignity and respect in public. Loads of fucking fun in that.

And your wife would split for sure! No one wants to be married to that.

[BacktoBasics]

And your wife would split for sure! No one wants to be married to that.No doubt there are people who can't stand me. No doubt that there are people who don't get me but I'll be damned if I don't go through the rest of my life having fun at other peoples expense.

[xtremesteven33]

Ladies love a comedian and a funny man. They also love random acts of comedy/rebellion thru out the day. But there is definitely a limit. B2B kinda reminds me of myself, i do the same thing but not in such an annoying fashion.

My gf loves my immaturity most of the time but to do things to deliberatly embaress her more than myself is where I draw the line....

[Bipolar Bob]

I can't decide what my take on this is.

I don't know whether I should laugh or cry.

[DoubtingThomas]

no doubt there are people who can't stand me. No doubt that there are people who don't get me but i'll be damned if i don't go through the rest of my life having fun at other peoples expense.

+1

[mrsmaalox]

No doubt there are people who can't stand me. No doubt that there are people who don't get me but I'll be damned if I don't go through the rest of my life having fun at other peoples expense.

Well apparently your wife has no problem with it or she would have taken care of it by now. That's all that matters :)

[xtremesteven33]

No doubt there are people who can't stand me. No doubt that there are people who don't get me but I'll be damned if I don't go through the rest of my life having fun at other peoples expense.


Good luck asking people closest to you, to take you seriously...

[IceColdBrewski]

oh no it's ericb... and just to be a dick, well, ericb it's "you're" not "your". i hate when people correct others on the internet but sometimes it's got to be done.

dude what was your name a while back before you made the switch and racked up even more posts then i have? fuckin' shit "your" at 5k+ now? damn!


It's "than", not "then"

[katyon6th]

It's "than", not "then"


You beat me to it.

[BacktoBasics]

Good luck asking people closest to you, to take you seriously...Oh, so you're so keen and intelligent that you have me totally dialed in based on my internet message boarding skills. Amazing how you take my life's little anecdotes and completely decipher exactly who and what I am on a very personal level. I mean I can totally understand you ability to separate pure entertainment from reality when real life's shit hits the fan and now that you've dissected my inner child I think you should maybe pen a book about how easy it is to take 10 lines or less and break down the modern man for all his shortcomings. You're SO FUCKING AWESOME.

[lint]

It's "than", not "then"

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y27/mandiolp/Grammar_Time.gif

[xtremesteven33]

Oh, so you're so keen and intelligent that you have me totally dialed in based on my internet message boarding skills. Amazing how you take my life's little anecdotes and completely decipher exactly who and what I am on a very personal level. I mean I can totally understand you ability to separate pure entertainment from reality when real life's shit hits the fan and now that you've dissected my inner child I think you should maybe pen a book about how easy it is to take 10 lines or less and break down the modern man for all his shortcomings. You're SO FUCKING AWESOME.

:lol
Wow, the lenghts you went thru for the sake of sarcasm....and by the way, Dont get so upset cause we tell you how it is. Youre the one acting like a dumbass in front of your wife. You expect us to tell you that youre a great husband??

Grow up man....

[koriwhat]

It's "than", not "then"

ah fuck! hahaha. thanks for the engrish lesson.

[The fortune teller]

I see trouble on the horizon.

[Dr. Gonzo]

I'd prefer my time with you to be in private anyway.

Didn't you once get in trouble for comment such as these?

[lebomb]

:lol
Wow, the lenghts you went thru for the sake of sarcasm....and by the way, Dont get so upset cause we tell you how it is. Youre the one acting like a dumbass in front of your wife. You expect us to tell you that youre a great husband??

Grow up man....


:wakeup ..................... awww shit! This is gettin good. :corn:

[BacktoBasics]

:lol
Wow, the lenghts you went thru for the sake of sarcasm....and by the way, Dont get so upset cause we tell you how it is. Youre the one acting like a dumbass in front of your wife. You expect us to tell you that youre a great husband??

Grow up man....Actually it was no trouble at all. Could your head be any bigger? You don't know the first thing about what kind of man I am and only an ignorant egotistical asshole would assume such about someone they know nothing about.

"grow up man"

Are you fucking serious? I have a job. Likely get paid better than you. I support 3 kids and a wife plus a mother in law. I don't think I need "growing up" advice from someone who doesn't know me from the next asshole.

[pawe]

To be honest, you all should actually be thankful for B2B's antics. It's like having a personal tester on the things that will upset your wife.

[thispego]

Bishop ryan, your shit is getting stale, that whole story was lacking in funny. I dont even consider it a "guess you had to be there" kinda story.

[xtremesteven33]

You don't know the first thing about what kind of man I am....

I think we all do sad to say...:rolleyes


Are you fucking serious? I have a job. Likely get paid better than you.

Well then get back to your job asshole....

[Instigator_]

Actually it was no trouble at all. Could your head be any bigger? You don't know the first thing about what kind of man I am and only an ignorant egotistical asshole would assume such about someone they know nothing about.

"grow up man"

Are you fucking serious? I have a job. Likely get paid better than you. I support 3 kids and a wife plus a mother in law. I don't think I need "growing up" advice from someone who doesn't know me from the next asshole.

:corn:

You going to take that, Xtreme?

[BacktoBasics]

Bishop ryan, your shit is getting stale, that whole story was lacking in funny. I dont even consider it a "guess you had to be there" kinda story.
You could be right. Should I re-invent myself? I've changed so many times I just don't know who I am anymore.

Bishop, DirtiesRobbedMe, B2B, all my Nics on other boards and so many more.

[BacktoBasics]

I think we all do sad to say...:rolleyes



Well then get back to your job asshole....My job starts when a customer walks on. Right now the lot is empty. I can do as I please.

[xtremesteven33]

:corn:

You going to take that, Xtreme?


haha

im not mad, just annoyed at this guy....kinda like his wife...

[lebomb]

:corn:

You going to take that, Xtreme?


.............yeah! YOU gonna take that!!?? :wakeup

[doobs]

Well I do it to entertain myself so ultimately your opinion doesn't mean shit.

Why post about it here if the opinions of others don't mean shit?

If you post something annoyingly unfunny, you have to expect some people might tell you that you've posted something annoyingly unfunny. Get over it.

[BacktoBasics]

Why post about it here if the opinions of others don't mean shit?

If you post something annoyingly unfunny, you have to expect some people might tell you that you've posted something annoyingly unfunny. Get over it.I'm going to take this advice to heart. Just more fun to argue though.

[ATRAIN]

haha

im not mad, just annoyed at this guy....kinda like his wife...

If your annoyed then why come into his fucking threads

[spursfan09]

All that stuff you did, makes you seem gay. Was that what you were going for? Make people at the store think your wife is married to a gay man?

[thispego]

you could be right. Should i re-invent myself? I've changed so many times i just don't know who i am anymore.

Bishop, dirtiesrobbedme, b2b, all my nics on other boards and so many more.

you've got so many people licking your balls on here it's shameful. You used to be hated.

[TheUnknownComic]

Bishop ryan, your shit is getting stale, that whole story was lacking in funny. I dont even consider it a "guess you had to be there" kinda story.

Almost every schtick gets old sooner or later.

[xtremesteven33]

If your annoyed then why come into his fucking threads


its called my 2 cents.....

[I. Hustle]

WTF?! After reading the first two pages I had to go back and make sure I didn't start this thread. I was about to get pissed and defend my grocery store antics.

[thispego]

if your annoyed then why come into his fucking threads

lol atrain bishop ryan ball licker el numero uno :lol

[TheSuckUp]

you've got so many people licking your balls on here it's shameful. You used to be hated.

No shit.

[gatoloco]

shit like this is why i grocery shop at target.

[ATRAIN]

its called my 2 cents.....

Well here are my 2 cents, if someone on the internet annoys me I would avoid any threads they created.

Guess steven takes his internets seriously

[ATRAIN]

lol atrain bishop ryan ball licker el numero uno :lol

just calling it like I see it, had it been another Op I would have said the same.

[JudynTX]

Did you happen to notice if the beer was on sale?

[Salad Tosser]

Atrain uses B2B for his dressing.

[ATRAIN]

you've got so many people licking your balls on here it's shameful. You used to be hated.

are you jealous cause your still hated?

[Fpoonsie]

Did you happen to notice if the beer was on sale?

:lol

PS, you lush.

[thispego]

just calling it like i see it, had it been another op i would have said the same.

the forum would be dead if people stopped reading threads by people that annoyed them. Plus sometimes a poster doesn't annoy you until you've read their thread. Actually, i will go to a thread started by someone that annoys me before any others.

[Dr. Gonzo]

I don't think you can judge B2B's husbandry skills on his immature behavior at a store.

[thispego]

are you jealous cause your still hated?

i'm loved and hated, i'm like god. There is an appropriate level of fear and respect for thispego

[Dr. Gonzo]

are you jealous cause your still hated?

I like the Pego guy.

[JudynTX]

:lol

PS, you lush.

It's a valid question. :D We'll see if he was paying attention or not. :lol

[Torso]

I like the Pego guy.

You just can't do things like that!

[ATRAIN]

the forum would be dead if people stopped reading threads by people that annoyed them. Plus sometimes a poster doesn't annoy you until you've read their thread. Actually, i will go to a thread started by someone that annoys me before any others.

Its not really that I just think its funny that it even annoys someone. B2B has been around a while and most of his stories could be made up but he wants to get a rise out of the club just for his own entertainment. Shit half the threads around here are meant to get a rise out of people.There is a new "does god exist thread made every week" for this very reason.

[I. Hustle]

Which pego?

[JJ Hickson]

Was that story supposed to be funny?

[lebomb]

Im glad I dont annoy anyone................. :hat

[AmericanPsycho]

Im glad I dont annoy anyone................. :hat

I'm glad I annoy some people.

[I. Hustle]

You guys act like this shit matters. You get so worked up over stupid shit that people, who you never have and more than likely never will meet, say. It's entertainment and that's it.
For instance I know that MiamiHeat and thispego lick each others assholes and for the most part suck donkey balls but you can bet your sweet tits that if they start a thread I will be the first one in that bitch.

[JJ Hickson]

For instance I know that MiamiHeat and thispego lick each others assholes and for the most part suck donkey balls

Real talk.

[WGAFF]

You guys act like this shit matters. You get so worked up over stupid shit that people, who you never have and more than likely never will meet, say. It's entertainment and that's it.
For instance I know that MiamiHeat and thispego lick each others assholes and for the most part suck donkey balls but you can bet your sweet tits that if they start a thread I will be the first one in that bitch.

:sleep :sleep

[I. Hustle]

:sleep :sleep

:greedy

[CosmicCowboy]

Damn, THIS thread blew up fast!

[thispego]

You guys act like this shit matters. You get so worked up over stupid shit that people, who you never have and more than likely never will meet, say. It's entertainment and that's it.
For instance I know that MiamiHeat and thispego lick each others assholes and for the most part suck donkey balls but you can bet your sweet tits that if they start a thread I will be the first one in that bitch.
i do NOT lick that dudes asshole

[I. Hustle]

i do NOT lick that dudes asshole

:lmao

[lebomb]

i do NOT lick that dudes asshole

Ive tossed the wifes salad before. *shrugs*

[BacktoBasics]

A few things here

I'll lick a girls asshole

Lots of people hate me here

Some I would consider friends

95% of my stories are in fact true

[ATRAIN]

i do NOT lick that dudes asshole

I have seen you lick many assholes on ST but that guy im not sure about. Ill keep an eye out for that one.

[ATRAIN]

Ive tossed the wifes salad before. *shrugs*

Yes we know

[lebomb]

Yes we know



:deadhorse

[I. Hustle]

I start shit with people on here just to get them to hate me. Just the other day I found out someone had me on ignore and I'm not sure what triggered it. I even get the wtf is your problem pm's.

[BacktoBasics]

Why the fuck do you guys make such a big deal about eating ass? I think lebomb is an idiot but licking the wifes brown spider isn't a big thing.

[thispego]

Ive tossed the wifes salad before. *shrugs*

nothin wrong with that. that's some good old fashioned sodomy right there

[thispego]

I have seen you lick many assholes on ST but that guy im not sure about. Ill keep an eye out for that one.

who's assholes have been blessed by the touch of my tongue?

[BacktoBasics]

I start shit with people on here just to get them to hate me. Just the other day I found out someone had me on ignore and I'm not sure what triggered it. I even get the wtf is your problem pm's.I used to get a ton of PM's from those self righteous jerkoffs, still occasionally do. But not as much anymore. Maybe I'm on someones ignore :wow

[BacktoBasics]

who's assholes have been blessed by the touch of my tongue?Setting. Yourself. Up. 101.

[JudynTX]

I guess the beer wasn't on sale. :(

[I. Hustle]

Everyone knows that the way to lebombs wife's heart is through her asshole. She practically shoves it in your face if you are within three feet of her.

[gatoloco]

it's kind of a throw in though...if you're going down on your girl with the sole intention of b-lining for her backdoor, then you gots issues...

[BacktoBasics]

I guess the beer wasn't on sale. :(I think it was 6.99 a six pack.

[thispego]

it's kind of a throw in though...if you're going down on your girl with the sole intention of b-lining for her backdoor, then you gots issues...

:lmao true true

[mrsmaalox]

Which pego?

This one. I like him. Not sure about that pego though.

[BacktoBasics]

That doesn't make sense. Some of us have premeditated intentions of buttfucking our wives. What's so strange about that.

[Bender]

We started in produce and I begun handling all the cucumbers. I would say things really loud like

"I bet I know why you want cuCUMbers"

and

"Hey hun look at how this curves to the left"Veggies can be very passionate...

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3444/3260835178_4e0c4b1626.jpg

[ATRAIN]

who's assholes have been blessed by the touch of my tongue?

besides your own?

[xtremesteven33]

Well here are my 2 cents, if someone on the internet annoys me I would avoid any threads they created.

Guess steven takes his internets seriously


HaHa....I rarely post in "The Club".

And if someone annoys me on the internet I more than likely ignore them, but this B2B guy is an attention whore, so he had it comming. Im Not hating on him, just the way he is I guess...

And yea I do alot of the same crazy grocery store things, but again not to intentionally annoy my girlfriend/wife, just for cheap laughs i guess....

[mrsmaalox]

What's strange is that it's such a fucking mood killer! Few people have seen me go from horny sex kitten to stark raving murderous bitch in 2 short seconds.

[katyon6th]

And if someone annoys me on the internet I more than likely ignore them, but this B2B guy is an attention whore, so he had it comming. Im Not hating on him, just the way he is I guess...


And you just had to go and succumb to his whorish needs. Way to go.

[gatoloco]

What's strange is that it's such a fucking mood killer! Few people have seen me go from horny sex kitten to stark raving murderous bitch in 2 short seconds.


note to self.

[ATRAIN]

Wtf

[katyon6th]

What's strange is that it's such a fucking mood killer! Few people have seen me go from horny sex kitten to stark raving murderous bitch in 2 short seconds.

This disturbs me.

[I. Hustle]

What's strange is that it's such a fucking mood killer! Few people have seen me go from horny sex kitten to stark raving murderous bitch in 2 short seconds.

Every time I reply to one of your posts or I mention you that happens. You get all hot and wet but then 2 seconds later are mad at what I said.

[mrsmaalox]

Every time I reply to one of your posts or I mention you that happens. You get all hot and wet but then 2 seconds later are mad at what I said.

:lmao jackass!!

[gatoloco]

then again, anyone attempting to lick the backdoor of a self professed "mrs maalox" derserves what they get...

[mrsmaalox]

then again, anyone attempting to lick the backdoor of a self professed "mrs maalox" derserves what they get...

:wow who said anything about licking?? :lol

[ATRAIN]

This disturbs me.

It kinda came out of the blue, I always said her vag was a killer but it was a joke for the most part,

[ATRAIN]

then again, anyone attempting to lick the backdoor of a self professed "mrs maalox" derserves what they get...

this

[ATRAIN]

HaHa....I rarely post in "The Club".

And if someone annoys me on the internet I more than likely ignore them, but this B2B guy is an attention whore, so he had it comming. Im Not hating on him, just the way he is I guess...

And yea I do alot of the same crazy grocery store things, but again not to intentionally annoy my girlfriend/wife, just for cheap laughs i guess....


What's strange is that it's such a fucking mood killer! Few people have seen me go from horny sex kitten to stark raving murderous bitch in 2 short seconds.

There is a lot of attention whoring that goes on in the club and this next post shows that

[xtremesteven33]

And you just had to go and succumb to his whorish needs. Way to go.


no sweat off my back.....

[mrsmaalox]

It kinda came out of the blue, I always said her vag was a killer but it was a joke for the most part,
Fuck off, you don't know anything about me. I was referring to this:



That doesn't make sense. Some of us have premeditated intentions of buttfucking our wives. What's so strange about that.

I was just sticking up for B2B's poor long, suffering wife.

[CosmicCowboy]

What's strange is that it's such a fucking mood killer! Few people have seen me go from horny sex kitten to stark raving murderous bitch in 2 short seconds.


*scratching out bucket list item #476.*

[ATRAIN]

to stark raving murderous bitch in 2 short seconds.


Fuck off, you don't know anything about me.

Oh noes it happening

[ATRAIN]

*scratching out bucket list item #476.*

already starting your bucket list old man?

[mrsmaalox]

*scratching out bucket list item #476.*

:lol

[CosmicCowboy]

already starting your bucket list old man?

I've had bucket lists going since I was 10. That's one of the reasons I don't still live with my parents like you do.

[Reichen Lehmkuhl]

Guys who consider themself an ass man and enjoy fingering, licking, eating and fucking ass need to come out of denial and join the other team already.

[ATRAIN]

I've had bucket lists going since I was 10. That's one of the reasons I don't still live with my parents like you do.

Is bucket list "sucking 101 black dicks" still number 1?

Dont worry man you should get there by the end of this year.

[thispego]

besides your own?

swing and a miss!

[CosmicCowboy]

Is bucket list "sucking 101 black dicks" still number 1?

Dont worry man you should get there by the end of this year.

Damn. All your "snappy comeback" material seems to come right off the urinal wall at the middle school.

[thispego]

This one. I like him. Not sure about that pego though.

:worthy:

[ATRAIN]

Damn. All your "snappy comeback" material seems to come right off the urinal wall at the middle school.

Ha this coming from the guy that used "Still living with your parents" smack.

[lebomb]

Guys who consider themself an ass man and enjoy fingering, licking, eating and fucking ass need to come out of denial and join the other team already.


............well the ass that I like has a vag sitting in front of it. *shrugs*

[Reichen Lehmkuhl]

............well the ass that I like has a vag sitting in front of it. *shrugs*

You are still sticking it in the shit hole.

[koriwhat]

You are still sticking it in the shit hole.

who gives a fuck? if a chick wants it in her ass i'm ok with that. it's self-righteous-still-in-the-closet-homos who think it's wrong.

[I. Hustle]

who gives a fuck? if a chick wants it in her ass i'm ok with that. it's self-righteous-still-in-the-closet-homos who think it's wrong.

I like this guy's style. Straight up and to the point. You tell them K DUB

[EricB]

You guys probably don't understand when she said "how old are you" She more than likely did it laughing.

Its not like this was a second date and he's doing this. He's married, has kids. He KNOWS this woman.

Most likely she died laughing when he wasn't looking.


Would I try it with my GF, no cause she would just roll her eyes and say "whatever"

I like b2b's posts and hope he stays around a damn long time, while i hope the posts of "suck 101 black dicks" goes by the way side. No offense A, your cool man but that comeback was akin to "oh yeah well your ugly"

Trust me, I know shitass comebacks.

[EricB]

Oh and to Kori what, I apologize for my grammar. My MAC automatic spellchecker wasn't working apparently.

[lil'mo]

I like this guy's style. Straight up and to the point. You tell them K DUB

Straight up and to the point? You like this guy's style? You can take that raunchy homo shit back to wherever you came from, queer.

[EricB]

who gives a fuck? if a chick wants it in her ass i'm ok with that. it's self-righteous-still-in-the-closet-homos who think it's wrong.

Any guy who says he wouldn't do it is a damn liar too.

[SpursWoman]

I would pay money to see User do something like that when we go to the grocery store. :fro

[CosmicCowboy]

I would pay money to see User do something like that when we go to the grocery store. :fro

At least BUY the sausage after he licks it...:lol

[EricB]

I would pay money to see User do something like that when we go to the grocery store. :fro

With or without kids present?

[EricB]

At least BUY the sausage after he licks it...:lol

Isn't it technically theirs though by licking it? I mean licking it shows ownership...

[LnGrrrR]

Actually it was no trouble at all. Could your head be any bigger? You don't know the first thing about what kind of man I am and only an ignorant egotistical asshole would assume such about someone they know nothing about.


So, B2B is calling someone an ignorant egostistical asshole for assuming something about him from an internet forum... and he's using comments on an internet forum as a basis for said assumption.

Anyone see a flaw in this logic? :lol

[LnGrrrR]

I don't think you can judge B2B's husbandry skills on his immature behavior at a store.

Agreed, the fact that he shops at a supermarket has no bearing on his ability to raise animals and crops.


hus⋅band⋅ry  /ˈhʌzhttp://sp.ask.com/dictstatic/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.pngbənhttp://sp.ask.com/dictstatic/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.pngdri/

–noun 1.the cultivation and production of edible crops or of animals for food; agriculture; farming.2.the science of raising crops or food animals.3.careful or thrifty management; frugality, thrift, or conservation.4.the management of domestic affairs or of resources generally

[lil'mo]

Trust me, I know shitass comebacks.
:rolleyes

You bet you do.

[EricB]

:rolleyes

You bet you do.

That almost made sense.

[I. Hustle]

Straight up and to the point? You like this guy's style? You can take that raunchy homo shit back to wherever you came from, queer.

lil' mo is it? Look lil it was a joke. You obviously have some closet issues that you need to let out. I bet you like being the internet tough guy huh? You are probably either 100 pounds soaking wet or 500 pounds and full of shit right?

[EricB]

lil' mo is it? Look lil it was a joke. You obviously have some closet issues that you need to let out. I bet you like being the internet tough guy huh? You are probably either 100 pounds soaking wet or 500 pounds and full of shit right?

What abut 280 and grumpy.

[lil'mo]

That almost made sense.

Hey, no one knows shitty comebacks like Eric B.

[lil'mo]

lil' mo is it? Look lil it was a joke. You obviously have some closet issues that you need to let out. I bet you like being the internet tough guy huh? You are probably either 100 pounds soaking wet or 500 pounds and full of shit right?

Jokes are ok but there is always a shade of truth behind them. You like to take it anally, thats fine, but I don't have to like you despite it.

[lil'mo]

What abut 280 and grumpy.

How about 520 lbs. of lean beef and porkin your mother?

[Moderator]

:wakeup

[I. Hustle]

Jokes are ok but there is always a shade of truth behind them. You like to take it anally, thats fine, but I don't have to like you despite it.

Look there is something there and I am not the person to talk to about it. You really need to see a professional about your lil' secret and not air it out on some random internet site.

You are responding to me but it's obvious that you are talking to yourself. You don't have to hate yourself because of the feelings you are having... we'll take care of that for you.

[lil'mo]

Look there is something there and I am not the person to talk to about it. You really need to see a professional about your lil' secret and not air it out on some random internet site.

You are responding to me but it's obvious that you are talking to yourself. You don't have to hate yourself because of the feelings you are having... we'll take care of that for you.

gayabc, supreme being, i. hustle

3 fags for me to bash on this site.

[tp2021]

People seem to look at B2B's stories from an angle of "Man, what an asshole." Try looking at it as, "Man, I hope I find a girl to lick phalluses in front of and then buttfuck at home and then talk about it in front of my son someday."

[EricB]

gayabc, supreme being, i. hustle

3 fags for me to bash on this site.

OOO homophobia, how chic.

[lil'mo]

People seem to look at B2B's stories from an angle of "Man, what an asshole." Try looking at it as, "Man, I hope I find a girl to lick phalluses in front of and then buttfuck at home and then talk about it in front of my son someday."
I see it as, b2b's wife must be fat and ugly as shit to put up with horse shit like that.

[lil'mo]

OOO homophobia, how chic.

Using the word chic, how metro of you, pretty boy.

[EricB]

I see it as, b2b's wife must be fat and ugly as shit to put up with horse shit like that.


So your jealous b2b found a woman that would laugh at the stuff you'd love to pull off in front of a woman and her to just laugh it off.

So in other words, your jealous b2b found your dream girl.

Point taken.

[EricB]

Using the word chic, how metro of you, pretty boy.


:lol

Yeah pretty boy no question. Keep grasping at straws.

[lil'mo]

So your jealous b2b found a woman that would laugh at the stuff you'd love to pull off in front of a woman and her to just laugh it off.

So in other words, your jealous b2b found your dream girl.

Point taken.

When a fat, ugly girl is your dream girl, you are b2b.

[Whisky Dog]

If you have to support your mother in law you should be able to rub sausages any way you like.

F that mother in law shit.

[lil'mo]

:lol

Yeah pretty boy no question. Keep grasping at straws.

Stop being so chic! You're making me blush you sissy la la!

[JoeChalupa]

I think knowing your spouse, SO, partner is important and B2B knows his very well from what I can tell. :lol

[lil'mo]

Well, when you've been with a girl since middle school when she was firm and tight and are around her for 20 years until she balloons and becomes entirely unattractive to any other man, you learn a thing or two about a girl.

[JoeChalupa]

I'm still learnin'!!

[Whisky Dog]

I see it as, b2b's wife must be fat and ugly as shit to put up with horse shit like that.

That's not true. The hottest of the hot girls will put up with shit as long as they are invested emotionally in your life and you're nit a needy pussy. Actually, if you treat a woman like shit that qualifies you as not needy so that takes care of that already.

It's a completely wrong thing to do but the hot women I've dated and treated poorly when I was younger always stuck around until I just completely ignored the for weeks straight and they bailed. Selfish guys who can make a woman feel special and wanted in certain moments and make them ultimately "pot committed" never get broken up with.

[lil'mo]

well it's true in this case, brother

[EricB]

Yeah lilmo you have zero jealousy. :rolleyes

God grow up.

[CuckingFunt]

What's strange is that it's such a fucking mood killer! Few people have seen me go from horny sex kitten to stark raving murderous bitch in 2 short seconds.


This disturbs me.

Ditto.

Confuses me, too.

[I. Hustle]

gayabc, supreme being, i. hustle

3 fags for me to bash on this site.

Hey lil' Mo, we'd like a lil' Less of your bitch ass

[I. Hustle]

Well, when you've been with a girl since middle school when she was firm and tight and are around her for 20 years until she balloons and becomes entirely unattractive to any other man, you learn a thing or two about a girl.

Well if you are stuck with the same tang for the best tang getting years you must be a clingy ugly fuk and the same goes for that fat bitch you were with

[PM5K]

I hate going to H-E-B, every time I try to jerk off in the bathroom the guy comes to clean it...

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

There are a number of oddly disturbing posts in this thread.

No numbers, just a minus for the entire thread.

[mrsmaalox]

Ditto.

Confuses me, too.

Oh yes, I can see where that might confuse you. See, a lot of women don't care for anal sex, me included. But it's fine by me for you ladyboys to continue to insert whatever you please into your rectums. Whatever floats your boat :tu

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

She never learns. It was pretty much on from the moment we walked in the doors. We started in produce and I begun handling all the cucumbers. I would say things really loud like

"I bet I know why you want cuCUMbers"

and

"Hey hun look at how this curves to the left"

Then I went and picked out some sausage while she hit the cheese and meat butcher. She saw me from far away and I started stroking the V&V and then pretended to lick the link up and down. The look of shock was probably enough but the lady in front of her thought I was looking at her not my wife so I got a few "WTF" looks.

Then I started pining for beer.

"look hun they got Shiner black. So warm and black and wet". Then I'd run my fingers up and down the bottle while rubbing the condensation all over my face.

For the grand finale I announced all the phallic looking objects as the old checker lady ran them.

"wow those sure are some long and firm cucumbers"

"look at those long black and wet bottle necks mmmmm"

"that tube of ground turkey looks so thick and meaty...you like thick and meaty don't you hun"




By the time we got to car she had her rant all ready to go

"what the hell is wrong with you"

"your a fucking child"

"you son behaves better than you do"

"that lady thought you were sexually harassing her"

on and on.

I just laughed and then turned up the radio.

I've read a lot of your stories bragging about how much of a prick you are to your wife, and all I want to know is why you're such a fucking arsehole to someone you married, and thus should respect?

[lil'mo]

Yeah lilmo you have zero jealousy. :rolleyes

God grow up.


Well if you are stuck with the same tang for the best tang getting years you must be a clingy ugly fuk and the same goes for that fat bitch you were with

Look at you two schlobin on b2b's knob. I know he is your leader and all but it is possible that the person you worship is not as cool in real life as he seems on your message board, and also, his wife might be uglier and fatter than you had hoped or imagined.

[EricB]

I've read a lot of your stories bragging about how much of a prick you are to your wife, and all I want to know is why you're such a fucking arsehole to someone you married, and thus should respect?

Seriously?

He's just kidding around.

His wife knows how he is and still loves him for it.

Question is why do you take the assumption that they are unhappy?

[thispego]

:lmao OMG! remove b2b's balls from your orifice! please! :rollin

[BacktoBasic's Wife]

Look at you two schlobin on b2b's knob. I know he is your leader and all but it is possible that the person you worship is not as cool in real life as he seems on your message board!!!?? You all stink!!!:ihit

[lil'mo]

Seriously?

He's just kidding around.

His wife knows how he is and still loves him for it.

Question is why do you take the assumption that they are unhappy?

Holy Shit! You can NOT dog on b2b while this guy is on watch!! :lol

[Cant_Be_Faded]

I bet B2B's wife lets him decorate her face with his bodily icing.

[EricB]

Holy Shit! You can NOT dog on b2b while this guy is on watch!! :lol


Holy shit I can't make a post without you following me.

Find someone else to stock whacko.

[EricB]

:lmao OMG! remove b2b's balls from your orifice! please! :rollin


How adult.

[Tits McGee]

I bet B2B's wife lets him decorate her face with his bodily icing.

If EricB doesn't get there first.

[lil'mo]

Holy shit I can't make a post without you following me.

Find someone else to stock whacko.

Yeah, in this thread. Why are you exaggerating?

and how do you stock someone? :lol

[lil'mo]

If EricB doesn't get there first.

No bullshit, he's the self-appointed keeper of b2b and mrs b2b's integrity.

[BacktoBasics]

I'm just having fun guys. Its not as if I beat her down with my fist or verbally abused her in public. You guys have no concept of how to have fun in a relationship...maybe that's why mine has lasted. You guys either take life too seriously or just get off acting like pompous tards. Either way you wife is probably bored with you.

[JudynTX]

?? You all stink!!!:ihit

:lol Worst troll ever!

[Dr. Gonzo]

I bet B2B's wife lets him decorate her face with his bodily icing.

I'd like to know the answer to this.

[BacktoBasics]

I'd like to know the answer to this.On occasion but not as frequently as I'd like.

[I. Hustle]

Look at you two schlobin on b2b's knob. I know he is your leader and all but it is possible that the person you worship is not as cool in real life as he seems on your message board, and also, his wife might be uglier and fatter than you had hoped or imagined.

Who is talking about B2B? I'm talking about you coming out the closet and how you hate the lil' HOMo inside of you. I'm not talking about the dude that is more than likely inside you right now but the flaming homo that you have caged up in your mind.

[CosmicCowboy]

On occasion but not as frequently as I'd like.

Actually, I never got that part. I figured the money shot was just for porn to "prove" they really came. It never mad a damn bit of sense to me to pull out from whatever got it to that point to start with.

[BacktoBasics]

Actually, I never got that part. I figured the money shot was just for porn to "prove" they really came. It never mad a damn bit of sense to me to pull out from whatever got it to that point to start with.Nothing says I own you like a piece of meat more than blowing a warm load all over her face.

[z0sa]

Lame jokes but I guess she is probably conditioned to laugh by now

[I. Hustle]

I would do that to the first wife all the time, but that's because I didn't really care about her. So I did it as an eff you type of thing. She took it though so I'll give her that... of course she is into chicks now.:lol

[BacktoBasics]

Alright I see a trend here. I thought it was funny at the time but maybe I need to take it to whole new level of entertainment.

The next time I go out in public with my wife...specifically a grocery store type location I'll pull out all the stops.

You will not be disappointed.

[mrsmaalox]

Oh man now you guys did it. Poor woman is doomed.

[Exaggerator]

Yeah, in this thread. Why are you exaggerating?

and how do you stock someone? :lol

If I've said it once I've said it a million times....don't take stock in anything that guys posts.

[BacktoBasics]

It would probably surprise a few of you to find out that my antics are predominately true.

[cornbread]

The next time I go out in public with my wife...specifically a grocery store type location I'll pull out all the stops.

You will not be disappointed.

Dick jokes can only take you so far. A little creativity goes a long way.

I'm expecting you to really step it up next time.

[BacktoBasics]

I fucking love cornbread.

[lil'mo]

Actually, I never got that part. I figured the money shot was just for porn to "prove" they really came. It never mad a damn bit of sense to me to pull out from whatever got it to that point to start with.

Is this a joke? Only someone with a small penis would think this way.

[BacktoBasics]

Is this a joke? Only someone with a small penis would think this way.
You're weird.

[lil'mo]

Nothing says I own you like a piece of meat more than blowing a warm load all over her face.

Although the thought of you blowing a load from under your beer gut all over your fat wife's fat face sickens me, I'm going to have to agree with this.

[lil'mo]

If EricB doesn't get there first.

:lmao

[lil'mo]

It would probably surprise a few of you to find out that my antics are predominately true.

And we wouldn't be more or less impressed. You're still an idiot outside of your little world of fat tolerant wives and disobedient, disrescpectful children. :tu

[BacktoBasics]

Although the thought of you blowing a load from under your beer gut all over your fat wife's fat face sickens me, I'm going to have to agree with this.
Whatever makes you happy bro.

[BacktoBasics]

And we wouldn't be more or less impressed. You're still an idiot outside of your little world of fat tolerant wives and disobedient, disrescpectful children. :tuI'm just trying to bring a little funny to the day. Sorry I offended you.

[DarkReign]

Disturbing thread that brought more than its share of odd comments from known members.

[WARRIORNATION]

no wonder your wife didn't call me the other day!

[PM5K]

I'm just trying to bring a little funny to the day. Sorry I offended you.

Are you saying this didn't really happen?

[Cant_Be_Faded]

i bet ericb has a raging clue for b2b

[BacktoBasic's Wife]

no wonder your wife didn't call me the other day!

Ju fukink liar!!! Evel eye on you, puto!!!

[BacktoBasics]

Are you saying this didn't really happen?
That's not what I'm saying.

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

Seriously?

He's just kidding around.

His wife knows how he is and still loves him for it.

Question is why do you take the assumption that they are unhappy?

Because I can read:


By the time we got to car she had her rant all ready to go

"what the hell is wrong with you"

"your a fucking child"

"you son behaves better than you do"

"that lady thought you were sexually harassing her"

on and on.

I just laughed and then turned up the radio.

I've often see him post things like that, and she's clearly upset by his behaviour every time. If she was joking around the language she used would be very different.

Now, he may be misreporting it and forgetting to mention that she's actually laughing her tits off when she says things like that because they are the kind of people who thrive on ripping on each other, but he's never said that, and I suspect that NOT to be the case (b2b - set me straight if I'm wrong). It seems far more likely that he gets fun out of needling her, and that she's getting nothing positive from it.


I'm just having fun guys. Its not as if I beat her down with my fist or verbally abused her in public. You guys have no concept of how to have fun in a relationship...maybe that's why mine has lasted. You guys either take life too seriously or just get off acting like pompous tards. Either way you wife is probably bored with you.

So, it is all a big joke to her? If so, you should explain that. The way you report it, the language she uses, it doesn't sound like she's having fun at all. It actually comes off like she is constantly angry and frustrated with your behaviour, and you treat her like shit in response by pushing your behaviour even further beyond reasonable bounds. I'm not saying that's the case, just telling you what I read from your posts about this stuff.

[lebomb]

IMHO, the bottom line is..........things a woman accepted when you first started dating and first years of marriage, are NOT things she tolerates after you have been married for awhile. You may think she is okay with a little inmaturity still, but really deep inside she wishes you would grow up. Having a sense of humor is much different than doing things a 2yr old would. Like I said, this is IMHO.

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

Never got a reply from b2b, and I'm interested to hear what he has to say.

[lil'mo]

Looks like someone chased him off.

[JoeChalupa]

I'm with B2B on having fun in a relationship. It was my having fun with my future wife that made her fall in love with me. I'd like to think it was my Denzel Washington looks but she has told me more than once that it was me the person that she fell in love with and to this day when I think about doing something fun there is no one else I'd rather do it with than her.

[JoeChalupa]

Should I have used more commas?

[BacktoBasics]

Never got a reply from b2b, and I'm interested to hear what he has to say.What's your question?

[I. Hustle]

I believe the question was, and correct me if I am wrong, "boxers or briefs?"

[desflood]

I'm with B2B on having fun in a relationship.
Yes, but don't you make sure it's fun for her as well? Or is it always at her expense, as often seems to be the case with them?

[JoeChalupa]

Yes, but don't you make sure it's fun for her as well? Or is it always at her expense, as often seems to be the case with them?

Always and I tend to make more fun at myself and others than at her but I'm sure B2B's woman has a good understanding of his ways and I also feel that some of that is for entertainment value as well.

[BacktoBasics]

I believe the question was, and correct me if I am wrong, "boxers or briefs?"I don't wear anything. I haven't worn boxers in over a decade. Briefs in over 15 years.


Yes, but don't you make sure it's fun for her as well? Or is it always at her expense, as often seems to be the case with them?Its always at her or someone else's expense. I wouldn't do it so incessantly if she wasn't also entertained. She was well aware of the type of person that I am from the very beginning.


Always and I tend to make more fun at myself and others than at her but I'm sure B2B's woman has a good understanding of his ways and I also feel that some of that is for entertainment value as well.People have failed to realize that yes I slight embellish but not near as much as some would think.

[lebomb]

I don't wear anything. I haven't worn boxers in over a decade. Briefs in over 15 years.



Jeans or the inside of pants scratching on your ball sack and cawk dont bother you? That isht would drive me bananas. *shrugs*

[rjv]

after reading this thread i now know how so many e. coli cases occur.

[desflood]

Its always at her or someone else's expense. I wouldn't do it so incessantly if she wasn't also entertained. She was well aware of the type of person that I am from the very beginning.
Why is that? Since you're obviously bright enough to find other ways to amuse yourself, why do you stick to the way that demeans both of you? Just too lazy to look for some other form of entertainment, I suppose :p:

[E-Coli]

after reading this thread i now know how so many e. Coli cases occur.

+1

[BacktoBasics]

Jeans or the inside of pants scratching on your ball sack and cawk dont bother you? That isht would drive me bananas. *shrugs*I don't wear jeans but when I did it was surprisingly comfortable.


Why is that? Since you're obviously bright enough to find other ways to amuse yourself, why do you stick to the way that demeans both of you? Just too lazy to look for some other form of entertainment, I suppose :p:I like who I am. I find new ways to entertain myself all the time.

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

What's your question?

Read post #220 - I posed a couple of them in there.


I'm with B2B on having fun in a relationship. It was my having fun with my future wife that made her fall in love with me. I'd like to think it was my Denzel Washington looks but she has told me more than once that it was me the person that she fell in love with and to this day when I think about doing something fun there is no one else I'd rather do it with than her.

Motherhood statement. It goes without saying that you want to have fun with your partner when in a relationship. That is not the picture b2b paints in this kind of thread - see post #220.

[SpursStalker]

:rollin

You never cease to amaze me B2B

[BacktoBasics]

Because I can read:



I've often see him post things like that, and she's clearly upset by his behaviour every time. If she was joking around the language she used would be very different.

Now, he may be misreporting it and forgetting to mention that she's actually laughing her tits off when she says things like that because they are the kind of people who thrive on ripping on each other, but he's never said that, and I suspect that NOT to be the case (b2b - set me straight if I'm wrong). It seems far more likely that he gets fun out of needling her, and that she's getting nothing positive from it.



So, it is all a big joke to her? If so, you should explain that. The way you report it, the language she uses, it doesn't sound like she's having fun at all. It actually comes off like she is constantly angry and frustrated with your behaviour, and you treat her like shit in response by pushing your behaviour even further beyond reasonable bounds. I'm not saying that's the case, just telling you what I read from your posts about this stuff.

Holy Christ friend. I thrive off of "needling" her. Yes! She's mildly amused and ultimately considers my antics tolerable if not entertaining. Sometimes not. The point is that I refuse to live in a bland dull relationship. She gets that and although she doesn't always approve of my behavior the prospect of spending the rest of her life with a boring old dud is even less appealing.

I'm not going to explain that upfront because it doesn't make for a fun and entertaining thread.

You guys just suck the fun out of everything. Its the internet for fucks sake not a tax audit.

[PM5K]

I like to do silly things to my SO also. The thing they don't get is that if we didn't get a reaction we wouldn't do it in the first place. We're basically children.

Now I don't mean anything like what you did, I'm not a fucking queer.

[BacktoBasics]

I like to do silly things to my SO also. The thing they don't get is that if we didn't get a reaction we wouldn't do it in the first place. We're basically children.

Now I don't mean anything like what you did, I'm not a fucking queer.I'm not gay.