I'm an idiot...

[bigzak25]

but i'm gonna share my story anyway...


so it's Friday night, and i'm being a good boy...home early, chillin out...waiting patiently for wifey to come home....

well....around 8:30, i'm bored and decide to take a drive...

me and my friend, 'joint' are driving along, when i realize i'm low on gas....

no prob....i'll just exit and goto shamrock...

so anyhoo...i'm 2nd at the light on the access road, in the middle lane and trigger (my car's name) dies...

c'mon trigger, c'mon trigger...just one more block baby...

no dice.

fuck it. i grab the contraband, lock up and start hustling to the shamrock....

i ditch the contraband in the underpass and think to myself...."FUCK!"

i don't seem to have my keys with me.

oh you gotta love shit like this.

anyhow, i make it to the shamrock, buy a 7 dollar gas can (luckily they have it or i would have brought milk and emptied that shit right there) and 4 bux of gas....2 gallons.

so now i'm thinking, as i'm running back to the car....well....rushing anyway....that i'm gonna need to get back in and i better find a big rock.

bingo. there's a rock bed right at the shamrock...it really was one stop shopping.

so i get back to the car...no cops yet. woohoo! and proceed to put one and a half gallons into the tank...as a half gallon spills out because the gas can sucks and i'm in a rush as well....

so that's done. and i throw the rock at the rear window. once, twice, three times. no go.

people are driving by yelling 'BREAK IT! BREAK IT!"

i say wtf am i doing and spot the little vent window and bam, break through that shit in one throw....

i hurry into the car, it won't start...."FUCK!" keep pumping the gas, and FINALLY...the bitch turns over.

so it's off to shamrock to fillup and get some electrical tape to last the weekend.

Alamo glass just left my job. They come to you to replace glass. $145 dollars later, it's finally over.

i should have stayed my ass home. http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/images/smilies/doh.gif

[KEDA]

WOW


thats some funny shit right there!

[mookie2001]

i feel your pain
stuff like that always seems to happen

[ALVAREZ6]

nice.

[E20]

I met a stalker at work, really scary.

[Jimcs50]

Pop a Lock would have cost you $50....remember that next time, big guy.

:)

[tlongII]

Re: I'm an idiot...

Yes you are.

[Charlie]

$145.00 ? Dude here I am trying to sell a 400 MHz gateway so I can buy food for the familia and you waste 145 on that piece of shit car? It was the little rear window. I saw the electrical tape and it looked ok, have you ever heard of pick N pull or pull and pay or what ever the hell it's called.

Dam you big snack, I will remember you when we are eating spam tonight, :mad

[Manu20]

That was funny.

[timvp]

Never break the smaller windows. Break the one of the big windows.

:smokin

[SpursWoman]

Never break the smaller windows. Break the one of the big windows.

:smokin


No shit....someone broke into my car a while back and broke out the little triangle mirror in the back. That was $450 to replace....the regular door window would have *only* been $150.

:flipoff

[Shelly]

:lol

[Clandestino]

call someone to unlock it.. 50-60 bux! you may have even talked him to bring you gas!

[MannyIsGod]

Dude, don't you have any mexican coathanger skills? Between my best friend Brad locking himself out, and all the times I've locked myself out of my car, I'm a fucking expert with either a slim jim or a coathanger.

I think it's genetic though.

[KEDA]

Never break the smaller windows. Break the one of the big windows by throwing a broken sandal through it!

:smokin



That seems like the whole story!

[Useruser666]

Tie two pieces of wire to the underside of your bumper and use them to get in when you're locked out. You know AAA is not that expensive and they would have brought you gas AND unlocked your car! I think that's like $80 a year or less.

[Brodels]

You couldn't have busted the window first and then had someone push you down to the gas station?

[Useruser666]

Call AAA on a pay phone and sign up for one years service. Then have them come out, give you gas AND unlock your car.

[Useruser666]

Gallon of gas $2.09

Gas container $14.00

AAA membership for a year $64.50!!!

Getting locked out of your car because it ran out of gas, breaking it's window and having a fun adventure....

Priceless.


www.aaa.com

[Brodels]

Call AAA on a pay phone and sign up for one years service. Then have them come out, give you gas AND unlock your car.

Nice. Would they really do that? That's a good idea if they would.

[ShoogarBear]

This should be used as a script for a commercial for the "Just Say No" Foundation.

[mouse]

Dude that trip was unnecessary, You must remember karma is around, Your chick wants you home and you get bit by the I gotta go for a cruz and smoke a joint bug?

When you take me to the GTG's you have no problem with a quart of beer between your legs a joint in your mouth and ABBA blasting out of your 4 x 6 20 watt Pontiac speakers. Why not tell us the whole story? About that cop you saw and how you ate your stash? :lmao

Dude I was at home minding my own business and I went for a cruz also. you don't want to hear the rest trust me.

I hope I see you Friday don't make me pawn my Moss jersey,

[exstatic]

The question is, did you retrieve the contraband? You didn't say... :lol

[Jimcs50]

The question is, did you retrieve the contraband? You didn't say... :lol


*exstatic sneaking out to check under bridge*

[bigzak25]

guys....to add to the idiot mystique, i should add that i am a card carrying member of AAA....that wasn't the issue....if it was side of the road, or i if i could have pushed it, i would have....
it was middle lane, and i was at the light, so all i could done was push it into traffic which would have been no good....maybe i would have said to hell with the traffic if i had known how expensive it would be to replace that little frickin window....


and i've pushed cars by myself before and lost control a couple times, but that's for another thread....i will say one time involves torn pants and avoiding the gas pump at exxon at all costs....


anyhow, i didn't want cops to come. they would have either 1) laughed and helped me out, or two busted my ass as my car was reeking at the time, maybe me too....and i've heard the horror stories about 6 months in jail for as much as a seed.

i'm sorry bout the spam mouse....my car may be a piece of shit, but it's my piece of shit, and i gotta take care of it, for a few more months at least....

i was feeling much better actually til miller hit that damn shot....but oh well...

i count my blessings as i figure, it could always be worse....but i just wanted to submit my darwin award application early this year.... :smokin


actually ex....funny you should mention it...i actually ate two roaches...i didn't have pockets at the time...damn it....and the one j that i threw, i thought of retrieving the day after, but i have since written off as a Loss.

[mouse]

guys....to add to the idiot mystique, i should add that i am a card carrying member of AAA...

The first step is admitting to it ,major racks to you.how long you been sober?
12 hours? :lmao



that wasn't the issue....

you dam right it wasn't..Your drunk stoned fat ass on the road is a major accident waiting to happen. First off you need bright red cones and flares..

The bright red cones are perfect to get Cops to ingnor you and keep driving as they head out to Krespy Kream.

The flares hide any smell of weed, And as for the red light in your dash that blinks on and off saying.. CHECK YOUR FUCKING ENGINE you lazy fat beer drinking ass hole? You might want to pull over next time. :smokin





and i've pushed cars by myself before

That I can agree on.. your so big I bet you pushing an 18 wheeler off the road is like me pushing a piece of meat MikeyP tossed on my shirt as he was eating a plate of bar B Q at kori's GTG off my shirt.

Your so big ...a Rent A center truck looks like a Hot Wheel in your hands :lmao



anyhow, i didn't want cops to come. they would have either 1) laughed and helped me bust my ass as was reeking at the time, maybe me too.

over share.........


i've heard the horror stories about 6 months in jail for as much as a seed.

how about the horror stories your cell mate might have? have you ever thought about him?


i'm sorry bout the spam mouse..

Spam? Fuck, I would settle for Sonic right about now..


..my car may be a piece of shit, but it's my piece of shit, and i gotta take care of it, for a few more months at least....

But did you save 25% switching to GEICO ? :lmao




actually ex....funny you should mention it...i actually ate two roaches...i didn't have pockets at the time...damn it....and the one j that i threw, i thought of retrieving the day after, but i have since written off as a Loss.


That was worth the whole trip :lmao

[desflood]

So, let me get this straight... while my husband is out driving my kids around on Friday night, you're stoned and on the road? Tell me I'm wrong...

[manustarting2gd]

Bingo!

[bigzak25]

i wasn't stoned yet des.
and no alcohol was in my system.
so rest assured.

but i'll make no excuses for myself.

the only accident i've ever had is when i fell asleep at the wheel in 93. no alcohol was involved there either...i had stayed out late the night before, took moms to work at 530am, drove 15 miles on the highway no problem, but fell asleep about 2 blocks from home...car veered right and hit a parked car.

but again...that's for another thread.

i will say i got that i got my car off the road on friday in 10 minutes. so maybe i have a future at AAA myself....

and nice comments mouse.... :lol

[desflood]

You weren't stoned yet, or you weren't smoking yet? Never mind, don't answer. You get the idea anyway.

[bigzak25]

You weren't stoned yet, or you weren't smoking yet? Never mind, don't answer. You get the idea anyway.


hey, i said i was an idiot, what do you want from me....


seriously, i get what your saying.
i will contemplate my actions more carefully in the future.

[desflood]

hey, i said i was an idiot, what do you want from me....


seriously, i get what your saying.
i will contemplate my actions more carefully in the future.
:rolleyes Somehow I doubt that. But we'll let it drop.

[bigzak25]

oh i'm serious....i plan to have a spare key in my wallet and an eye on the gas at all times.

[KEDA]

oh i'm serious....i plan to have a spare key in my wallet and an eye on the gas at all times.


LMAO


:lmao


Zac, you havent lost any respect from me!

[jalbre6]

desflood,

Get off your high horse. The man was telling us a story, not trolling for a visit from the moral police.

[desflood]

So, my concern for my family makes me the moral police?

[bigzak25]

you are entitled to concern for you family des and you have a right to voice your feelings...

i make no excuses for myself or my actions. if i felt my driving was impaired, i wouldn't be out there...i know that won't make you feel warm and fuzzy, but it is what it is.

[SpursWoman]

once again, i'd rather be on the road with a high driver than a driver on a cell phone


Or a driver eating a corndog. There was a pretty nasty wreck by my house the other day....apparently this lady was too busy feeding her face to notice the red light.

:fro

[jalbre6]

:rolleyes

OK. I'm not going to argue with someone that thinks that they are trying to protect their family from a guy that runs out of gas and has to break into his car.

[desflood]

:rolleyes

OK. I'm not going to argue with someone that thinks that they are trying to protect their family from a guy that runs out of gas and has to break into his car.
Are you that dense?

[jalbre6]

Are you that dense?

:lol

No. Are you?

[desflood]

Admittedly, I've never been accused of being overly intelligent. But I know I have a valid point on this one.

[desflood]

lol
why does that make me think of Thinner?
:lmao Haven't read that book in years!

[Clandestino]

worst drivers are women putting on make-up!

for 1... women can't drive when they actually are paying attention... and
2... when they are looking in their vanity mirror they really can't drive!

[CosmicCowboy]

Or a driver eating a corndog. There was a pretty nasty wreck by my house the other day....apparently this lady was too busy feeding her face to notice the red light.

:fro

damn...you just had to mention wrecks while eating corndogs...I rear ended a car in high school while getting a blow job...she was resting her arm on my knee and I couldn't get to the brake fast enough...lucky for her we didn't have air bags back then...:lol

[Shelly]

worst drivers are women putting on make-up!

for 1... women can't drive when they actually are paying attention... and
2... when they are looking in their vanity mirror they really can't drive!

:rolleyes x a million

Says my friend (who is a cop) when I hopped in his BMW M Coupe for the first time, "I'm extremely impressed by the way you drive!"

Says my husband to the salesman when I test drove an Audi S4, "Don't worry, she knows how to drive these types of cars."

[Clandestino]

:rolleyes x a million

Says my friend (who is a cop, and wants to get laid) when I hopped in his BMW M Coupe for the first time, "I'm extremely impressed by the way you drive!"

Says my husband(who wants to get laid) to the salesman when I test drove an Audi S4, "Don't worry, she knows how to drive these types of cars."

i made a few corrections...

[MannyIsGod]

So, let me get this straight... while my husband is out driving my kids around on Friday night, you're stoned and on the road? Tell me I'm wrong...
Ok, before I say anything, answer a few questions for me.

1. Do you ever speed?
2. Do you ever speak on a cell phone in the car?
3. Do you ever listen to the radio in the car?
4. Do you ever do anything else while driving, which includes but is not limited to: dealing with children, eating, and putting on makeup.

I'll wait for you to respond then I'll give my opinion of what you said.

[Clandestino]

Ok, before I say anything, answer a few questions for me.

1. Do you ever speed?
2. Do you ever speak on a cell phone in the car?
3. Do you ever listen to the radio in the car?
4. Do you ever do anything else while driving, which includes but is not limited to: dealing with children, eating, and putting on makeup.

I'll wait for you to respond then I'll give my opinion of what you said.

haha!

[jalbre6]

Ok, before I say anything, answer a few questions for me.

1. Do you ever speed?
2. Do you ever speak on a cell phone in the car?
3. Do you ever listen to the radio in the car?
4. Do you ever do anything else while driving, which includes but is not limited to: dealing with children, eating, and putting on makeup.

I'll wait for you to respond then I'll give my opinion of what you said.

Exactly. Good post, bro.

[Shelly]

i made a few corrections...

Yep--my husband has to compliment me to get laid.

Sorry that you have to use your hand all the time.

[SpursWoman]

damn...you just had to mention wrecks while eating corndogs...I rear ended a car in high school while getting a blow job...she was resting her arm on my knee and I couldn't get to the brake fast enough...lucky for her we didn't have air bags back then...:lol



You laugh, but when we were teenagers my best friend and I came across an accident about 3:00am where a large oak tree got hit and landed across Nacogdoches that had been knocked there by a Bronco, which was totaled.

I found out that next weekend by the cop giving me the MIP that that accident was caused by a guy getting head from his girlfriend while driving and they both died...she had bit it off on impact. He bled to death and she asphyxiated on it.



So fuck that. I always say, "Pull over." :angel

[CosmicCowboy]

Yep--my husband has to compliment me to get laid.

Sorry that you have to use your hand all the time.

:lmao

slow pitch in the sweet zone and she knocks it right out of the park!...:lol

[Clandestino]

women being bad drivers must be a touchy subject to her...

[SpursWoman]

Most of the inconsiderate, road-raging dickheads I notice on the road are men. Go figure.

[jalbre6]

women being bad drivers must be a touchy subject to her...

Driving is a touchy subject for everyone. When was the last time you heard ANYONE (regardless of gender) say that they were a bad driver?

[Clandestino]

why are women so touchy when they are told they are bad drivers? must be that time of the month for the women posters in here...

[CosmicCowboy]

the most dangerous part of smoking and driving is lighting the j/b

I dunno about that...ever had a seed explode and blow fire everywhere including setting your shorts on fire? Never trust a roadie you didn't roll yourself...:lol

[Clandestino]

while i have heard about sympathetic menses cycle, i doubt it works like that over the internet

many of the posters in here hang out so maybe that is the case...

[desflood]

Ok, before I say anything, answer a few questions for me.

1. Do you ever speed?
2. Do you ever speak on a cell phone in the car?
3. Do you ever listen to the radio in the car?
4. Do you ever do anything else while driving, which includes but is not limited to: dealing with children, eating, and putting on makeup.

I'll wait for you to respond then I'll give my opinion of what you said.
1. No
2. No (I don't own one)
3. Yes, which I adjust before I start and don't touch while on the road.
4. No. Never eaten or put on makeup while driving. If the kids whine, I tell them to wait.

[Shelly]

why are women so touchy when they are told they are bad drivers? must be that time of the month for the women posters in here...


Why do men think they are being funny by saying stereotypical things? They must be bitter towards women because they keep getting rejected.

[CosmicCowboy]

Driving and drinking coffee can be dangerous too...I used to live on a lake and we would get up before sunrise to waterski at dawn before the lake got rough...and did it year round...I stopped at the 7-11 on the way home one winter morning for a large hot cup of coffee...had my wetsuit rolled down to my waist...I was shifting into third gear and dumped half the scalding coffee right down my front into the crotch of my wetsuit...nearly totalled my 280Z on the curb trying to shuck out of the wetsuit...:lol

[Clandestino]

1. No
2. No (I don't own one)
3. Yes, which I adjust before I start and don't touch while on the road.
4. No. Never eaten or put on makeup while driving. If the kids whine, I tell them to wait.

haha.. i sure as hell don't her responses to 3 and 4! "kids, no whining unless we pull over" LOL!!!

[Shelly]

Driving and drinking coffee can be dangerous too...I used to live on a lake and we would get up before sunrise to waterski at dawn before the lake got rough...and did it year round...I stopped at the 7-11 on the way home one winter morning for a large hot cup of coffee...had my wetsuit rolled down to my waist...I was shifting into third gear and dumped half the scalding coffee right down my front into the crotch of my wetsuit...nearly totalled my 280Z on the curb trying to shuck out of the wetsuit...:lol

I think you have a lawsuit on your hands. Has the statue of limitations expired already? :lol

[Clandestino]

Why do men think they are being funny by saying stereotypical things? They must be bitter towards women because they keep getting rejected.

originally it was a joke, but seeing how much it has gotten your panties in a wad...it cracks me up more now... :lol

[Shelly]

You don't think I knew you were joking? How do you know I wasn't? :spin

[CosmicCowboy]

originally it was a joke, but seeing how much it has gotten your panties in a wad...it cracks me up more now... :lol

I think she goes commando when the kids are in school...:lol

[Shelly]

I think she goes commando when the kids are in school...:lol

nah...judging from the stuff that Clandestino posts, i really think he thinks he's being high-larious (getting back to the subject of the orginal post).

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to pay the Beyer Boys for servicing me...:)

[Clandestino]

You don't think I knew you were joking? How do you know I wasn't? :spin

women and their hormone swings...

[Shelly]

Sorry, C...not falling for the bait. Go pick on someone less clueless.

[JoeChalupa]

What a buzz killer.

[SpursWoman]

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to pay the Beyer Boys for servicing me...:)



....then go ahead and send them over when you're done. :)

[CosmicCowboy]

....then go ahead and send them over when you're done.

Here he comes!

http://asandboxgreeting.com/butt.gif

[SpursWoman]

you know, CC, all I see is a red "X"...but I look at the properties and from the file name, I'm thinking she can just go ahead and send them on home....


:wow :wow :wow



okay....I saw it now. I just remembered I have to wash my hair anyway...... :fro

[Shelly]

:lol

To quote Marcia Brady, "Something suddenly came up!"

[gay abc]

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to pay the Beyer Boys for servicing me...:)

:lol

were they at least good looking shelly? - did you see any butt crack? :smokin

[Shelly]

no--they weren't the plumbers!

[smeagol]

desflood,

Get off your high horse. The man was telling us a story, not trolling for a visit from the moral police.
Zack did something wrong (he admits it) and des was pointing it out.

What moral police? She has a point (even Zac aknowledges the point).

So what's with your lame comment?

[jalbre6]

Zack did something wrong (he admits it) and des was pointing it out.

What moral police? She has a point (even Zac aknowledges the point).

So what's with your lame comment?

You showed up a little late to start throwing your weight around, smeagol.

And as far as my *cough* "lame comment" goes, see what Manny had to say for what I meant.

Have a nice day.

[MannyIsGod]

1. No
2. No (I don't own one)
3. Yes, which I adjust before I start and don't touch while on the road.
4. No. Never eaten or put on makeup while driving. If the kids whine, I tell them to wait.
Des, I'm going to take you at face value and believe everything you said.

So, if that's all true, then hell, you are a safe driver. Give Zak all the hell you want.

[desflood]

I'll admit to becoming a much safer driver post-children! I've also had an accident after falling asleep at the wheel, some years ago.

[mouse]

Funny how some of the most righteous and holiest sin free people on the planet seem to post here at the club :lmao


http://www.boomspeed.com/woaimouse/mouse-saves.jpg

[cherylsteele]

Dude, don't you have any mexican coathanger skills? Between my best friend Brad locking himself out, and all the times I've locked myself out of my car, I'm a fucking expert with either a slim jim or a coathanger.

I think it's genetic though.

I used to own a Pinto and a coathanger was my spare key!! :lol

[cherylsteele]

once again, i'd rather be on the road with a high driver than a driver on a cell phone

Here is a story for you......
To begin I work for the cell phone 411 company Infonxx.

We give direction calls for Sprint customers....I recieved a call this past weekend and they needed directions.
I asked them to pull over for safety reasons while I gave directions.
As I was getting their info of where they were and where they were going....the caller said "oh shit....I just hit a car......give me the police instead"

I told him to dial 911 and he said he did not want to tie up the 911 system for something so trivial.

I just had to shake my head.....I get these types of calls constantly.

[smeagol]

You showed up a little late to start throwing your weight around, smeagol.
I don't hang out in the Club that often. In any case, I don't see how showing up late disqualifies my opinion.


And as far as my *cough* "lame comment" goes, see what Manny had to say for what I meant.
I saw what Manny said and your comment is still lame. I can respond to Manny's comment, if you want me to, but I fail to see how that would make your comment less lame.


Have a nice day.
My day has been decent. Thanks.