Favorite "The Office" Jokes except that's what she said.

[DMX7]

I love it when Michael locks himself in his office and keeps replaying the same 30 second sample of a depressing song he found on itunes. He's too cheap to buy it, so he just keeps replaying it. :lol

[baseline bum]

Gareth: Alright, it's Christmas dinner. Royal family... having a Christmas dinner. Camilla Parker-Bowles says, "Okay, we'll play 20 Questions. I'll think of something and you have to ask me questions and guess what it is." And what she's thinking of is a black man's cock.

David: Ha! Trust Camilla! -- It's not racist, is it?

Gareth: No, no. Um...

So, Prince Philip goes, "Is it bigger than the bread bin?" and she goes, "Yeah."

Charles goes, "Is it something I can put in my mouth?", she goes, "Yeah."

The Queen goes, "Is it a black man's cock?"

[DMX7]

Gareth: Alright, it's Christmas dinner. Royal family... having a Christmas dinner. Camilla Parker-Bowles says, "Okay, we'll play 20 Questions. I'll think of something and you have to ask me questions and guess what it is." And what she's thinking of is a black man's cock.

David: Ha! Trust Camilla! -- It's not racist, is it?

Gareth: No, no. Um...

So, Prince Philip goes, "Is it bigger than the bread bin?" and she goes, "Yeah."

Charles goes, "Is it something I can put in my mouth?", she goes, "Yeah."

The Queen goes, "Is it a black man's cock?"

lol, you surprised me with that one. I was think American (NBC) The Office but still a good one.

[Jacob1983]

Todd Packer: "What has two thumbs and likes to bone your mom?" "This guy."

Michael: "Todd Packer and I are total BFFs, Best Friends Forever. We came up together in sales. One time we went to a bar and met this set of twins. And Packer said that we were brothers. One thing lead to another, and we took them to our hotel room... And Packer did BOTH of them! It was awesome!"

[leemajors]

Gareth: Alright, it's Christmas dinner. Royal family... having a Christmas dinner. Camilla Parker-Bowles says, "Okay, we'll play 20 Questions. I'll think of something and you have to ask me questions and guess what it is." And what she's thinking of is a black man's cock.

David: Ha! Trust Camilla! -- It's not racist, is it?

Gareth: No, no. Um...

So, Prince Philip goes, "Is it bigger than the bread bin?" and she goes, "Yeah."

Charles goes, "Is it something I can put in my mouth?", she goes, "Yeah."

The Queen goes, "Is it a black man's cock?"

BBC > US Office, for sure. Not even close.

[baseline bum]

Some quick background... Gareth is the character Dwight is based on, and he's always talking about his time in the army. Tim is who Jim is based on, and Dawn is the original version of Pam

Tim: I was wondering if a military man like you, um - a soldier - could-could you give a man a lethal blow?

Gareth: If I was forced to. I could. If it was absolutely necessary. If he was attacking me.

Tim: If he was coming really hard?

Gareth: Yeah, if my life was in danger, yeah.

Dawn: And do you always imagine doing it face to face with a bloke or could you take a man from behind?

Gareth: Either way is easy.

Dawn: Either way. And so you could do a man from behind?

Gareth: Yeah...

[ChumpDumper]

Creed: That wasn't a tapeworm.

[Bender]

I may need to get some of those BBC Office from netflix....

edit: hmmm, on netflix, the american show is rated way higher.

[leemajors]

I may need to get some of those BBC Office from netflix....

edit: hmmm, on netflix, the american show is rated way higher.

The BBC one is much, much better imo.

[Bender]

I believe it. I haven't seen either though.

I've been into british humor ever since the 70s back when I watched Monty Python's Flying Circus. Then I got into Benny Hill after that, then Fawlty Towers, Mr Bean and some others.

[spursncowboys]

VFSeOUWyEfk


My favorite prank
TGXKCtHooHA

[mookie2001]

dwight is on the computer playing a game

someone says 'whats the mattter, have to do stuff on a game you cant do in real life?"

hes like "no its just my life is so perfect that i like to simulate it exactly for fun" and it shows the game and hes sitting at his desk, doing his work being productive and efficient

[Thunder Dan]

BBC > US Office, for sure. Not even close.

The Beatles are like the British version of The Office. Fantastic, but they pale in comparison to what they inspired.

[dickface]

dwight is on the computer playing a game

someone says 'whats the mattter, have to do stuff on a game you cant do in real life?"

hes like "no its just my life is so perfect that i like to simulate it exactly for fun" and it shows the game and hes sitting at his desk, doing his work being productive and efficient

:lol yeah that was good "my life is so great that I literally wanted a second one"

[baseline bum]

The BBC one is much, much better imo.

Finally, someone on this forum agrees with me on that.

kn3nbFimBtc

[Thunder Dan]

let's all be honest here for a second, the British Version is not as good as the US version. Everytime people argue it they always come off as those people who just argue it to be different as somehow having that opinion makes them more artistic. It's like whenever people see a movie, they always say the book was better. I know people who say the book was better even when they didn't read it, they just say that. I'm willing to bet that is the case for most of the "UK version is so much better" people

[leemajors]

let's all be honest here for a second, the British Version is not as good as the US version. Everytime people argue it they always come off as those people who just argue it to be different as somehow having that opinion makes them more artistic. It's like whenever people see a movie, they always say the book was better. I know people who say the book was better even when they didn't read it, they just say that. I'm willing to bet that is the case for most of the "UK version is so much better" people

I like Ricky Gervais, and think Carrell is pretty annoying in general. I think Gareth is a better character. I tried watching the US one for a bit, but it was just kinda boring. Also, the book is better 90% of the time, provided you can read.

[Thunder Dan]

I like Ricky Gervais, and think Carrell is pretty annoying in general. I think Gareth is a better character. I tried watching the US one for a bit, but it was just kinda boring. Also, the book is better 90% of the time, provided you can read.

the book is better because it came out first, same thing with The UK Office. This phenomenon is always true with intellectual creations, the reverse is the case for most tangible items like electronics. But people will always say the music of the 60's was better than the 70's which was better that the 80's and 90's. People will say the movies of the 70's were better than those of today. Whatever came first is better in most peoples' eyes.

[monosylab1k]

I love both the UK and US version, but the UK version is definitely better.

The US version sometimes gets Michael & Dwight's characters to do things so ridiculous that it reduces them to cartoon characters, and it makes it tougher to take them seriously as real people. The UK version never crossed that border where the comedy got cartoonish. You always believed in the characters, which made the ending work even better.

Also, Jim & Pam are annoying as hell, their relationship has been sappy and contrived from the start. That part of the US Office has always been a weak point. The Tim/Dawn relationship in the UK Office was done about a million times better.

[Thunder Dan]

perfect example of my theory is people standing in line for that piece of shit Mona Lisa. Why do people act like that is the greatest painting ever? Go to the louvre and it's like the least substantial painting there. It is small, and it's boring. You can go to any modern art museum and see hundreds of paintings better than that piece of shit, but that is revered around the world.

Same thing with the Beatles. The Beatles are alright, but they are blown out of proportion to the point where no band ever will be on their level. People put the Beatles on this pedestal where nobody can even be mentioned with them. People always ask "Why does the music of today suck>?" the reason is because they make the music of yesterday is blown way out of proportion. Radiohead is the best band of our generation (that's a fact) yet, they will never be able to be mentioned with the Beatles because people have spent nearly 40 years making the Beatles into more than they are.

Same thing with people and books. Sometimes the movie is better, but people will never admit it.

[monosylab1k]

What exactly do you like better about the US version?

[baseline bum]

let's all be honest here for a second, the British Version is not as good as the US version. Everytime people argue it they always come off as those people who just argue it to be different as somehow having that opinion makes them more artistic. It's like whenever people see a movie, they always say the book was better. I know people who say the book was better even when they didn't read it, they just say that. I'm willing to bet that is the case for most of the "UK version is so much better" people

The British version is funnier because:

1) They can make sex jokes that would never fly on the censored American airwaves. In the American version you'd never see pranks like Tim sneaking a dildo in David's office to embarrass him in an important meeting or David wanting to fire someone when he finds out a photoshopped picture of him getting jizzed on by two guys is circulating around the office. Or Gareth telling the woman hitting on Tim that she'd better make Tim wear a condom if she ever wants Gareth to go up in there (while pointing down at her pussy).

No way you hear the "black man's cock joke" or you see the gag birthday gifts people get like dildos, inflatable dicks, etc. And you certainly don't see David's best friend, Chris Finch, taking the birthday girl doggystyle in the alley. Or when Tim and Dawn always try to get Gareth to say gay things like he'd take a man from behind (he thinks he's talking about killing an enemy soldier) or use his hole as bait (his foxhole).

2) David Brent (Ricky Gervais) is a much funnier boss than Michael Scott. Micheal is an egotistical moron. David is just a guy always seeking approval from his inferiors, and the awkward silences every time he tells a funny joke to them are hilarious. The way David constantly tells his employees they're working for the greatest boss ever is hilarious. So is the way he keeps kissing up to the one black guy after getting in trouble for telling the black man's cock joke.

3) There are no real assholes on the original office, whereas everyone on the US office aside from Pam is a huge prick. The British character, Gareth, that inspired Dwight is hilarious because he just blurts out what's on his mind, as opposed to Dwight who is a complete douchebag. Keith is probably the best supporting character with his apathy and laziness, and the US Office split him into two less funny characters (you can see his apathy in Stanley and the laziness and incompetence in Kevin).

4) The British Office is funny because it's more like a real office than its American counterpart. The US Office relies too much on anger between everyone, and just always comes off as a dysfunctional mess.

[Thunder Dan]

What exactly do you like better about the US version?

it's just more enjoyable, I don't have to sit there and wonder what the fuck the guys is trying to say. I don't have to try and understand British humor (or humour if I'm talking like a Brit). I've watched it, I have the DVDs, it's just not as enjoyable. I don't understand how Americans could like it better than the US version (not saying they shouldn't like it at all). But I should preface that I'm not someone who goes to foreign films and reads the dialog.

I mean it's a good show, but to say the US version sucks, and that one is great is crazy.

[Thunder Dan]

2) David Brent (Ricky Gervais) is a much funnier boss than Michael Scott. Micheal is an egotistical moron. David is just a guy always seeking approval from his inferiors, and the awkward silences every time he tells a funny joke to them are hilarious. The way David constantly tells his employees they're working for the greatest boss ever is hilarious. So is the way he keeps kissing up to the one black guy after getting in trouble for telling the black man's cock joke.


see this is where we must disagree because I think Michael Scott is the funniest person on the show and I think his character is great. I watch it for Michael Scott. I like that difference, and you dislike it, so there is a major difference

[monosylab1k]

The US version is funny, but there's nothing genuine about it. They could turn it into an animated series and wouldn't have to change a thing in the way that they write the show. That might make it better, because then Michael could bash Dwight over the head with a giant wooden mallet.

[leemajors]

it's just more enjoyable, I don't have to sit there and wonder what the fuck the guys is trying to say. I don't have to try and understand British humor (or humour if I'm talking like a Brit). I've watched it, I have the DVDs, it's just not as enjoyable. I don't understand how Americans could like it better than the US version (not saying they shouldn't like it at all). But I should preface that I'm not someone who goes to foreign films and reads the dialog.

I mean it's a good show, but to say the US version sucks, and that one is great is crazy.

I wouldn't recommend watching the BBC Life on Mars then, you'd probably need subtitles for the Manchester accents. Too bad, because outside of the Wire I can't think of a TV series on its level.

[Thunder Dan]

I wouldn't recommend watching the BBC Life on Mars then, you'd probably need subtitles for the Manchester accents. Too bad, because outside of the Wire I can't think of a TV series on its level.

You can travel the 7 seas and you won't find a better TV show than Curb Your Enthusiasm.

[Thunder Dan]

W-Ci_oopVTk

[Leetonidas]

perfect example of my theory is people standing in line for that piece of shit Mona Lisa. Why do people act like that is the greatest painting ever? Go to the louvre and it's like the least substantial painting there. It is small, and it's boring. You can go to any modern art museum and see hundreds of paintings better than that piece of shit, but that is revered around the world.

Same thing with the Beatles. The Beatles are alright, but they are blown out of proportion to the point where no band ever will be on their level. People put the Beatles on this pedestal where nobody can even be mentioned with them. People always ask "Why does the music of today suck>?" the reason is because they make the music of yesterday is blown way out of proportion. Radiohead is the best band of our generation (that's a fact) yet, they will never be able to be mentioned with the Beatles because people have spent nearly 40 years making the Beatles into more than they are.

Same thing with people and books. Sometimes the movie is better, but people will never admit it.

Are you seriously trying to compare The Beatles and their influence on music to The Office? That is a horrible analogy dude. The Beatles, while I agree they are overrated, started modern music. They were the forerunners of all the music we have today and have inspired countless brilliant musical minds to compose some of the greatest works in history. Comparing the influence a historical benchmark like The Beatles to today's music and trying to make the whole Office analogy doesn't work.

A more appropriate analogy would be this: The original Office is like either a great song that is then in the future covered by another band, or a cover/tribute band. Whereas The Beatles inspired tons of different music, The Office spawned an American clone, with the exact same name and exact same premise virtually. It's like saying you think Fall Out Boy's version of Beat It is better than Michael Jackson's, it just isn't.

Honestly, don't watch the show, and I'm not trying to flame you or anything bro, I'm just saying, the analogy is kinda off. Like I said though, I do agree that The Beatles aren't as good as some people think. However, they were revolutionary, and that's what makes them important.

[Thunder Dan]

Are you seriously trying to compare The Beatles and their influence on music to The Office? That is a horrible analogy dude. The Beatles, while I agree they are overrated, started modern music. They were the forerunners of all the music we have today and have inspired countless brilliant musical minds to compose some of the greatest works in history. Comparing the influence a historical benchmark like The Beatles to today's music and trying to make the whole Office analogy doesn't work.

A more appropriate analogy would be this: The original Office is like either a great song that is then in the future covered by another band, or a cover/tribute band. Whereas The Beatles inspired tons of different music, The Office spawned an American clone, with the exact same name and exact same premise virtually. It's like saying you think Fall Out Boy's version of Beat It is better than Michael Jackson's, it just isn't.

Honestly, don't watch the show, and I'm not trying to flame you or anything bro, I'm just saying, the analogy is kinda off. Like I said though, I do agree that The Beatles aren't as good as some people think. However, they were revolutionary, and that's what makes them important.

no I was saying that the work of the Beatles will never be matched by another band no matter how good they are. A band could come out and be better than the Beatles in every tangible category, but they will never be better than the Beatles. I was comparing it to how people always claim a book is better than a movie, or how the original is better than a spinoff or remake. I wasn't comparing the Office to the Beatles in the obvious sense. People have given the place of the "best band ever" to the Beatles, and the contest is closed. Nobody will ever top them, even though an argument like that should forever be open

[Thunder Dan]

it's like when people argue who is the best QB of all time, there are always people who argue that it's Otto Graham or Johnny Unitis. These are the people who always say the book is better than the movie. They have seen Joe Montana, Tom Brady, John Elway and Peyton Manning, yet they still think a 6'0 190lb Otto Graham was the best ever just because he was the first to be considered. The truth is, Otto Graham was good in his era, but the best EVER would have to be Tom Brady, Manning, Elway or Manning because they could have played in the 50's, while Graham couldn't play today. Yet, every argument has that guy who thinks he is expressing his football intellect by bringing up guys outside the modern era.

and I'm not saying baseline or Lee Majors are one of these people for liking the UK Office better, I'm just saying that alot of the people who say that are these types of people. I don't know their personal situations so I'm not stereotyping them

[Leetonidas]

Okay, I see what you're saying. But I think it has to do with the fact that there was nothing before them. Bands today have a lot to look back on and inspire them. Back in the 60s, there wasn't much going on in terms of musical creativity. But I see your point.

[leemajors]

Okay, I see what you're saying. But I think it has to do with the fact that there was nothing before them. Bands today have a lot to look back on and inspire them. Back in the 60s, there wasn't much going on in terms of musical creativity. But I see your point.

Maybe not in the white community. Jazz was racing along evolving by leaps and bounds at that time.

[Thunder Dan]

Okay, I see what you're saying. But I think it has to do with the fact that there was nothing before them. Bands today have a lot to look back on and inspire them. Back in the 60s, there wasn't much going on in terms of musical creativity. But I see your point.

I wouldn't say that nobody influenced the Beatles because they were all Chuck Berry fans and even covered a couple of his songs. The Beatles just were more popular than Chuck Berry and crossed over into pop culture where Chuck Berry didn't on that level. If you listen to their first album it's basically white guys playing Chuck Berry

[Thunder Dan]

but actually, that's exactly what I'm talking about. People talking about how great the Beatles are makes you forget that they were influenced by other artistes. People talk up the Beatles to the point where it makes us think they invented music. They were just making music that was popular at the time and they became more popular than any other group. They were very good (very good), but other bands did what they did.

It's like Nirvana, the creators of grunge

[Jacob1983]

How is David Brent not a prick? Pam is a bitch now. She use to be a nice normal person but her winding up with Jim and becoming a sales person has turned into a cry baby bitch. Both shows have their ups and downs. The UK version goes toward the dry humor where the US version goes toward the easy humor dealing with slapstick stuff and pranks and impressions/voices. I will admit that The Office has gone down hill and has past its prime. The show is still funny but not as funny as it use to be. As soon as Jim and Pam got together, the show started down a downward spiral. Their relationship is not realistic or normal. They never fight or disagree about anything. What the fuck is that? That's not normal. And then Jim and Pam act like they are the Prom King and Queen of the office too.

[baseline bum]

How is David Brent not a prick? Pam is a bitch now. She use to be a nice normal person but her winding up with Jim and becoming a sales person has turned into a cry baby bitch. Both shows have their ups and downs. The UK version goes toward the dry humor where the US version goes toward the easy humor dealing with slapstick stuff and pranks and impressions/voices. I will admit that The Office has gone down hill and has past its prime. The show is still funny but not as funny as it use to be. As soon as Jim and Pam got together, the show started down a downward spiral. Their relationship is not realistic or normal. They never fight or disagree about anything. What the fuck is that? That's not normal. And then Jim and Pam act like they are the Prom King and Queen of the office too.

The only person David acts like an ass to is Neal.

[greyforest]

They never fight or disagree about anything. What the fuck is that?

copier vs chairs episode
pams dad divorces her mom episode
pam finds out michaels boning her mom episode

cant really think of any more though

[I. Hustle]

How is David Brent not a prick? Pam is a bitch now. She use to be a nice normal person but her winding up with Jim and becoming a sales person has turned into a cry baby bitch. Both shows have their ups and downs. The UK version goes toward the dry humor where the US version goes toward the easy humor dealing with slapstick stuff and pranks and impressions/voices. I will admit that The Office has gone down hill and has past its prime. The show is still funny but not as funny as it use to be. As soon as Jim and Pam got together, the show started down a downward spiral. Their relationship is not realistic or normal. They never fight or disagree about anything. What the fuck is that? That's not normal. And then Jim and Pam act like they are the Prom King and Queen of the office too.

lol you must be the jealous Dwight guy where you work. Does someone where you work get all the attention and leave you out?

[Jacob1983]

The times that Pam and Jim have had a fight or argument, the argument or fight is usually over before the end of the episode. They aren't a normal couple in my opinion. Everything just seems too perfect and right for them.

I could care less about what others do at my work. The only thing I care about at my job is that I get paid, get my benefits and are able to use them, and get to use my vacation time when I go on a vacation. Caring, working hard, doing your best, having near perfect attendance, and making sacrifices doesn't get you anything at my work. That's why I don't give a fuck anymore at my job. I just go in, work, leave, and get paid.

[TheTruth]

Michael standing up and "declaring" bankruptcy was hilarious.

[baseline bum]

Michael standing up and "declaring" bankruptcy was hilarious.

:lol That was hilarious

[desflood]

Everytime people argue it they always come off as those people who just argue it to be different as somehow having that opinion makes them more artistic. It's like whenever people see a movie, they always say the book was better.
It has nothing to do with being pretentious - the book really is almost always better.

Keeping on topic, my favorite office clips have always been Jim's pranks on Dwight. Here are just a few...

3Pw_eX97TUw

[spursncowboys]

Michael standing up and "declaring" bankruptcy was hilarious.
I just remembered that. That was the best!!

[Dex]

You're making a knife with a knife?

[Dex]

Michael standing up and "declaring" bankruptcy was hilarious.

HuGIgf-ICHM

[spursncowboys]

Tonight I watched where Michael was having Dwight practice cold-calling with Jim. I laughed my ass off.The entire episode is classic.

[spursncowboys]

Best I could find. Bad quality but here
L_RwC6BTZ8s

[EricB]

Michael standing up and "declaring" bankruptcy was hilarious.

:lmao

Oscar "Michael you just can't shout bankruptcy and its fixed"

Michael "I didn't shout it, I declared it"

:lmao

[makedamnsure]

Tonight I watched where Michael was having Dwight practice cold-calling with Jim. I laughed my ass off.The entire episode is classic.

Brilliant stuff!!

[DMX7]

Michael standing up and "declaring" bankruptcy was hilarious.

lol, that was great. I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!!!!!!!!!!!!