Deep Thoughts

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

So after mixing it up socially tonight, I arrived home and remembered that I needed to shut off one of the outside spigots that I had to turn back on and use today. Pipes freezing and bursting is not a fun experience.

Upon arriving in the basement, I notice that around the entire floor's perimeter, there is water seeping out between the floor/wall joint. Sump died, which really isn't a big deal because being the smart guy I am, I already have its replacement on hand.

So I undo the clamps and I'm ready to pull the dead sump out, but I'm finding that something seems to be preventing me from pulling the damn thing out. The stupid cocksucking plumber left the inlet from the drain tile way too long when he did the rough plumb and I can't get the pump around it. Cocksucker.

Now I have to cut this stupid fucking pipe under 18" of water, which is bad enough, but the great thing is that I don't have a hand saw, hacksaw or PVC cutter on hand, so there is no way I can get it done in the next few hours.

So here I sit at 3:05 AM sipping on some Grappa, watching my basement slowly flood, wondering why I'm a magnet for married women, why I never bought that back-up pump and just exactly what I did to piss baby Jesus off.

Maybe it's all in my head.

My bald head.

[jaffies]

by Jack Handy

"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it."

"If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone."

"The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw"

"I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas."

"After I die, wherever my spirit goes, I'm going to try to get back and visit my skeleton at least once a year, because, "Hey, old buddy, how's it going?"

[F@#K You]

selfish prick.. Like baby Jesus has time for a lions fan. just buy another fucking house..if you are in michigan you can buy one for a few dollars.

[mrsmaalox]

I don't have all the answers for you, but as far as being a magnet for married women......maybe your maturity stands out among your peers or you are an attentive listener. Or maybe they sense that you don't kiss and tell :)