PDA

View Full Version : ESPN's Bill Simmons' Blueprint for beating San Antonio



Mr. Body
04-22-2005, 01:23 PM
I wonder what gets passed around the halls and emails over at ESPN. They must have passed out posters with Marcus Camby and Nene Hilario on them, with bulging pectorals, about a month ago. They looooooove them some Denver Nuggets.


A blueprint for beating San Antonio:

A. You need to get physical with them ... and Denver is the most physical team in the league. Guys like Nene and K-Mart will absolutely knock Mr. Eva Longoria (aka Tony Parker) down the first time he comes cruising down the lane (like the Lakers did last year). Also, Duncan has always been one of the classiest players around -- what happens to him when K-Mart is throwing elbows around, or Nene starts swearing at him in Brazilian? You need to do this stuff against the Spurs; I'm not sure they like rolling up their sleeves and getting dirty, especially with Malik Rose gone. Who's sticking up for TD when Nene clotheslines him into the basket support?

B. You need to keep throwing big guys at Duncan ... and the Nuggets have three good ones (K-Mart, Nene and the wildly underrated Marcus Camby). I see him making the Sad Duncan Face a lot, the one where he stands next to Popovich and looks like a son who just let down his dad in Little League.

C. You need a small forward who can post up the smaller Spurs guys (Ginobili, Bowen, etc.) and take advantage of them ... and the Nuggets probably have the closest thing to a young Bernard King right now in Carmelo Anthony. On paper, anyway.

D. You need a great coach. Not a good coach -- a GREAT coach. And George Karl is one of the best. He'll know exactly what to do here -- push the pace, knock bodies to the ground, bang the bejeezus out of Duncan (who's been banged up all season).

So why aren't I picking the Nuggets? I don't trust Melo yet -- the right team can get him into another one of those Athens-type funks, and I don't like the way he reacts when his shot isn't falling. If you're The Guy for a good team, you need to figure out ways to help them when you're not scoring. When Melo isn't scoring, he also stops rebounding and playing defense. Not a good quality. Still, any time you get two of the best five teams playing each other in round one, that's pretty cool.

A. I wanted to find his email and snap back at this guy - who I usually find amusing - but ESPN hides their columnists emails pretty well, or don't post them, because they know their inane takes would get lots of flak. Anyway, my understanding is that Tony Massenburg is on the roster in order to knock some heads, and I'd take him over Nene, namby-Camby, and the poseur Kenyon Martin any day. Kenyon Martin sure is a tough guy, when the rim is undefended, bo-yee!! I remember something about KM's performance last time he met Duncan in the playoffs. Plus, if anybody tries to take out Parker, woe betide Earl Boykins the next period. The refs don't want to see this get too physical.

B. Yes, the Nuggets have three good big guys down low. The Spurs have Tim Duncan. Would you trade all three for Duncan? Didn't think so.

C. Carmello Anthony is like a young, preschool version of Bernard King. I swear the ESPN crack-pipes have the Nuggets logo embossed on the side. What's Mellow's lifetime shooting percentage against the Spurs? He hits one out of every three shots or so, right? That's excellent odds. Plus, there's always the reverse of each of these points: the reverse, in this case, is a guy named Bruce Bowen. He's not as wide as Anthony, sure, but is deceptively strong. The players Bowen has trouble with are quick and nasty slashers like Wade, not spot-up shooters like Anthony with limited moves.

D. Admittedly Duncan is banged-up, and that's tough. I doubt Karl, who is close to the Spurs' coaching staff and organization, is going to go underhanded and try to take the man out. Karl is a good coach, but what has he won? Seriously? There's a guy on the other bench, you know. Plus, only one team has P.J. CARLESIMO.

It's really frustrating reading these takes. They're so ill-informed sometimes. I try to give them credence, in this case because Simmons is spot-on often. But I don't get the Nuggets love.

Don't people see how weak their offense is? It's predicated on the fast break, which will be shut-down, and on put-backs. Concentrate on each side, and you're set. They only have one offensive starter, and a couple off the bench. One of the biggest worries is Boykins, whom Simmons fails to realize.

A weak offense versus a strong (albeit injury-ravaged) defense? Essentially, this is a weaker version of the 2003 Nets. Not saying they couldn't somehow win the series or send it deep into 7 games, but I don't think it will. As somebody else pointed out, one team here is dangerous: Denver. The other team is far, far more dangerous: San Antonio. The true x-factor isn't Camby's blocked shots or anything on that side, but the Spurs' offense, their outside shooting. If Manu, Barry, Bowen, Udrih, and Robinson get it going from outside, they won't have to grind this series out, it will end pretty fast.

Clandestino
04-22-2005, 01:26 PM
how many rings does george karl have? and carmelo is supposed to gaurd manu, bowen and barry?

boutons
04-22-2005, 01:41 PM
'Mr. Eva Longoria (aka Tony Parker)"

... asshole. This point adds to the article's credibility. Everybody's a comic, 99.99% are bad comics. STFU, sports "journalist".

The single, primary key to beating the Spurs is exactly the same key for the Spurs to beat everybody else: defense.

bigbendbruisebrother
04-22-2005, 01:42 PM
Also, Duncan has always been one of the classiest players around -- what happens to him when K-Mart is throwing elbows around...?

2003 NBA - NBA Finals (4-2): San Antonio Spurs over New Jersey Nets

Spurminator
04-22-2005, 01:45 PM
You guys are sensitive sissies.

Bill Simmons is the best sports writer on the Internet.

Mr. Body
04-22-2005, 01:50 PM
Whether he's the best sports writer or not is immaterial. How spot-on or how stupid is this take? That's the issue.

Spurminator
04-22-2005, 01:53 PM
I think his take is spot-on. He's not saying "This is what will happen and this is why Denver will win." He's saying IF Denver expects to win, their only chance is by being physical down low, keeping Tony out of the paint and throwing Duncan off his game. I think that's 100% accurate, and I think you're misunderstanding his point by arguing that the Nuggets can't or won't accomplish those things.

Do you have a better idea of what it will take to beat the Spurs?

boutons
04-22-2005, 01:54 PM
"best sports writer on the Internet"

That's saying something?

tlongII
04-22-2005, 02:07 PM
I see him making the Sad Duncan Face a lot, the one where he stands next to Popovich and looks like a son who just let down his dad in Little League.

Classic!

:rollin

jalbre6
04-22-2005, 02:12 PM
A. I wanted to find his email and snap back at this guy

[email protected], [email protected]

IceColdBrewski
04-22-2005, 03:10 PM
"Mr Eva Longoria (aka Tony Parker)..."

:lol

MadDog73
04-22-2005, 03:18 PM
"Still, any time you get two of the best five teams playing each other in round one, that's pretty cool."

Nuggets are one of the Top 5 teams? I'd like to see this list.

Here's a guess:

1. Spurs
2. Pistons
3. Mavs
4. Heat
5. Nuggets?

Nuggets > Suns? Nuggets > Rockets? Nuggets > ok, you guys get it... :lol

mookie2001
04-22-2005, 03:19 PM
"Denver is the most physical team in the league."

is he stuffing serious?




thats the only reason i'd scoff him

MadDog73
04-22-2005, 03:22 PM
I also dislike his "suggestion" that someone clothesline TD.

That's uncalled for. Do I write an article about how someone should take a baseball bat to Bill Simmons? (hmmm, maybe I should....)

slayermin
04-22-2005, 03:29 PM
I wasn't too impressed with Nene's pugilistic style when he fought Olowakandi. If he decided to clothesline TD, TD would probably let it slide. He wants to win a ring and fighting could cost him another title. But I think TD could strap, if push came to shove. Anyway, we have T-mass if the Nuggets want to play street rules.

Louae
04-22-2005, 03:48 PM
2003 NBA - NBA Finals (4-2): San Antonio Spurs over New Jersey Nets

I'd much rather focus on the box score of their matchup

Tim Duncan
21 points
47% FG
20 rebounds
10 assists
8 blocks

K-Mart
6 points
13% FG
10 rebounds
1 assist
2 blocks

I don't know about you, but Timmy killed K-mart.

And check out how much perceptions have changed since the 2003 finals

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/playoffs2003/story?id=1568501

Obstructed_View
04-22-2005, 03:52 PM
If the Nuggets can figure out a way to take out Parker and Duncan at the same time so they only get one guy suspended for the rest of the playoffs that would probably constitute their best strategy for winning the series.

Bill Simmons is usually funny, but I think he needs to stick to that. This one sounds like an attempt to actually produce sports-related observations, and it ain't his schtick.

spurster
04-22-2005, 04:42 PM
Being physical is what the Lakers did to the Spurs last year with Malone getting away with a lot, and everyone allowed to slap at TP in the lane. There's nobody on the Nuggets with Malone's foulproof teflon coating and the Nuggets do not have the aura of the Lakers.

ShoogarBear
04-22-2005, 04:51 PM
Around this board, the "best" sports journalists are those who say good things about the Spurs, and the "worst" are those who don't.

It's a simple as that.

Frenchise player
04-22-2005, 05:01 PM
Portuguese speaked in Brazil is quite different from the one speaked in Portugal.
I think that a portuguese won't understand nothing when Nene swear.
I don't think, you could understand someone of Scottland or Ireland swearing, even if it is still english.

Obstructed_View
04-22-2005, 05:07 PM
The name of the language is still Portuguese, I think that was Flash's point.

whottt
04-22-2005, 05:45 PM
Hmmm...this guy is under-rating the Spurs toughness. Tony did get smacked around by the Lakers last season but that wasn't why he started to be ineffective...he started to be ineffective because the Lakers started doubling him with the ball and it was the first time that had ever happened to him...it was also the first time I've ever seen Phil put a double on a PG...ever. It's rare enough seeing him put one on a big man...but doing it to a PG is unheard of...if they think that smacking Tony around will make him stop going inside they are wrong...the only thing that stops him is clogging the paint.

And he's also wrong if he thinks the Spurs don't have guys that can dish it out...

I can already tell you that Nazr will lay an elbow upside someones head...Horry can be decptively physical when he wants...and we haven't seen that side of Glenn Robinson yet but he has it...he'll get physical too...especially when someone takes a cheapshot on one of his teamates...I've seen him get in someones face before...for Ray Allen believe it or not.

And contrary to what most people think, Rasho does give hard fouls...ask Kobe.

And don't forget Bruce...


I used to think Barry was soft if someone got tough with him(because of what happened when Bruce put that gash in his forhead in 02)...but this year he has disproven that...as exstatic pointed out...Barry actually plays better when someone smacks him upside the head...I actually hope the Nuggets to that...I think he's shooting about 80% from 3 this season when someone does get physical with him.

And you know Manu is tough.

If the Nuggets try that approach with us it will only result in a more severe ass kicking.

They better just take the asswhupping they've got coming to them like men, and not try and escalate things.

boutons
04-22-2005, 05:55 PM
Brazilian Portuguese is a dialect of Portuguese at this point.

I had a Portuguese partner in France (there are about 1 million Portuguese in France) who said Portuguese and Brazilians manage to understand each other, but the divergence is large and increasing, exactly like west-side San Antoino Tex-Mex "Spanish "and Madrid Spanish.

Has anybody seen the movie on cable "Sweet 16"? It's about low-class street punks and criminals in Scotland ... with sub-titles in English. :)

Or did anybody understand a word spoken by Brad Pitt in "Snatch" ? :)

Aggie Hoopsfan
04-22-2005, 05:55 PM
Who's sticking up for TD when Nene clotheslines him into the basket support?

Safe bets:

Manu
Nazr
Massenberg
Horry
could probably throw in Bowen too.

whottt
04-22-2005, 06:00 PM
Horry isn't gonna throw a punch at him...but Nene better hope his nuts are protected ;)

adidas11
04-22-2005, 06:08 PM
Horry isn't gonna throw a punch at him...but Nene better hope his nuts are protected ;)


:lol :rollin

Aggie Hoopsfan
04-22-2005, 06:10 PM
I never said anything about punches, just "sticking up" for TD. Robert's way is to dish out his own personal form of birth control. :lol

ShoogarBear
04-22-2005, 06:32 PM
Or did anybody understand a word spoken by Brad Pitt in "Snatch" ? :)

Didn't Pitt just make all that up?

Jim should be able to help us here . . .

Obstructed_View
04-22-2005, 10:26 PM
Didn't Pitt just make all that up?
No, I had a buddy from Ireland, and he said it was dead-nuts on. He also said that Pitt's accent where he played an IRA terrorist was perfect down to the region.

Back to basketball: Good post whottt. When Juwan Howard hard fouled Malik when he'd already taken out DA, there wasn't a shortage of people to step up, and when Joe Smith was hard fouling DRob in '99, I don't remember anyone backing down. I still have the video of that. David pushing KG away by his face was greatness.

Leetonidas
04-22-2005, 10:28 PM
Bill Simmons is a fecking idiot. He expects the Nuggets to play like dirty assholes...we ain't Detroit and they ain't Indiana.

kskonn
04-22-2005, 11:34 PM
I am a little confused, was he saying that guys resisted hard fouling Tim because Malik used to be around? I really don't think Malik had that effect on opposing teams bigs. I would love to see rasho go crazy on someone, he reminds me of gomer pile from full metal jacket. He just takes it and takes it until one day...... Look out nuggets!!!

TDfan2007
04-23-2005, 12:43 AM
I don't get what the hell this writer's point is. He spends almost the entire article belitiling all of the Spurs players, and then turns around and declares that the Spurs will win the series. What an idiot :smokin. Also, Tim is used to taking beatings in games. He has plenty of scars on his arm to show for it. He plays low post unlike many bigs in the league today and as a result he gets the crap beaten out of him. If the Nuggets want to get physical with Tim, he'll just shove it down their throats the way in did to NJ in the 02-03 Finals.

BTW K-Mart is OWN3D by Tim!

LakerGod
04-23-2005, 12:51 AM
Excellent article...

the spursies are going down my female-like friends!

dcole50
04-23-2005, 12:56 AM
put your money where your mouth is, so to speak. if you're so confident that the spurs will lose early, how about we make a deal that you leave the board if (when) we win the title?

not going to agree to that? didn't think so, my idiot-like friend.

kskonn
04-23-2005, 12:59 AM
Lebron>>>>>>>>>>>kobe

kskonn
04-23-2005, 01:04 AM
I bet lakers would have made the playoffs with Lebron on the team instead of Kobe.He would have been able to use Odom, and butler much more effectively .

Man In Black
04-23-2005, 01:18 AM
Excellent article...

the spursies are going down my female-like friends!

How DO YOU KNOW WHAT A FEMALE IS LIKE? Your hands can't tell you anything and even if they could. THEY'D LIE LIKE YOU DO DAILY :flipoff

Mr. Body
04-23-2005, 02:06 AM
As protective and tentative as the Spurs have been about Tim's injuries this year, I seriously doubt they'd be lackadaisical about somebody fouling him hard or appearing to try to hurt him. Losing him this year was obviously emotional. If they see someone trying something, I have little doubt that somebody would absolutely lay down the wood. They're not about to see that happen again.

Rummpd
04-23-2005, 06:43 AM
Who knows this guys e-mail, lets flood it!

Rummpd
04-23-2005, 07:05 AM
Ignore last post, email above I just sent one.

Mark in Austin
04-23-2005, 11:11 AM
I love the Spurs - have for 20 years. But I swear to God almighty there's not a more sensitive, insecure bunch of fans in the league.

1. Who gives a fuck what some columnist says?

2. Simmons is right. He layed out exactly what would have to happen for Denver to win. He didn't say it would happen.

3. The guy is as much a humorist as he is a sports columnist. If the best you can come up with to criticize his work is the Brazilian vs. Portugese mistake, maybe its time to step away from the computer, go outside, and maybe shoot some real baskets.

Get a grip, folks.

Mark in Austin
04-23-2005, 11:15 AM
http://spurstalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14138

What they said.

Mr. Body
04-23-2005, 12:10 PM
What's wrong with criticizing what a columnist says? How is correcting bad opinions 'sensitive'? If you don't like comments, don't read them.

SPARKY
04-23-2005, 02:06 PM
http://spurstalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14138

Obstructed_View
04-23-2005, 02:20 PM
http://spurstalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14138
http://spurstalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14138
http://spurstalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14138
http://spurstalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14138

Okay, now that that's out of the way can we please stop linking to the above stupid post as though it says anything coherent? If you have nothing better to add than "Man who gives a fuck" maybe there's no reason to post.

SPURSCHAMPS
04-23-2005, 02:33 PM
Okay, now that that's out of the way can we please stop linking to the above stupid post as though it says anything coherent? If you have nothing better to add than "Man who gives a fuck" maybe there's no reason to post.[/QUOTE]

AGREED.Posting that same link on 3 or 4 different posts in this FORUM doesn't make sense at all.

Drachen
04-23-2005, 05:47 PM
The name of the language is still Portuguese, I think that was Flash's point.

Well its just like in every country that I have been to (small sample size, I know, only about 9 countries) they call what we speak "american" and not english. Basically that they are related (as are italian and spanish) but have differences that seperate them enough to call them by different names (I believe that this is what Frenchise is saying).

As for the article, I dont have any problems with it. About a month ago one of the TNT guys said that the mavs are the only team with a chance to beat the spurs. I didnt get mad then either, because he didnt say the mavs will beat the spurs, he said one team out of 29 has a chance to beat the spurs, and this happens to be the one. I didnt agree with him, but it was not a disparaging comment to the Spurs at all.

oh and BTW Bill Simmons is really the only sportswriter that I go to the website to read. Anything else I read is only because its posted here.

Mark in Austin
04-23-2005, 06:31 PM
AGREED.Posting that same link on 3 or 4 different posts in this FORUM doesn't make sense at all.


It makes just as much sense as getting your panties in such a twist over what some columnist says that you decide to try to get everybody to flood his inbox.

If the only way you can think of something to post is to wait until somebody writes something about the Spurs that tweaks your inferiority complex enough that you get indignant and self-righteous about it, you're pretty pathetic.

Goddamnit, grow a pair and stop complaining like a little bitch.