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View Full Version : Sitters vs. Standers


leemajors
12-11-2009, 02:30 PM
This article is pretty damn funny. For the record, I am a sitter.

http://deadspin.com/5424415/sitters-vs-standers--the-great-wipe-hope
Frenzy
12-11-2009, 02:37 PM
you cant wipe it all off if your sitting IMO. I thought most people squat. Plus I use baby wipes.

lol @ the washington
DarkReign
12-11-2009, 02:44 PM
People stand to do that?! Huh, who knew?
peewee's lovechild
12-11-2009, 02:52 PM
People don't stand?
thispego
12-11-2009, 03:31 PM
i wish i could open that link at work. someone give me the run down
symple19
12-11-2009, 03:39 PM
i wish i could open that link at work. someone give me the run down

It's in reference to wiping, either standing up or sitting down
symple19
12-11-2009, 03:39 PM
lol, i'm a sitter w/ babywipes
IceColdBrewski
12-11-2009, 03:42 PM
http://xbe.xanga.com/d2cc402067032172997505/b131469710.jpg
DarkReign
12-11-2009, 03:43 PM
People don't stand?

You honestly stand?

I swear, I never knew adults stood to wipe. I honestly didnt. Thats so fucking weird...and gross.
Soul_Patch
12-11-2009, 04:06 PM
how do you even wipe your ass standing? dont your butt cheeks squeeze together? wouldnt that just smash the shit up and down your crack?

i thought standing was something 4 year olds did...no offense.
z0sa
12-11-2009, 04:08 PM
The fuck? If you stand, you probably need a helmet to go about daily life.
Melmart1
12-11-2009, 04:12 PM
If you stand, you either have to manually open your own cheeks or bend forward, which is not something you want to do when you have your pants around your ankles.
peewee's lovechild
12-11-2009, 04:13 PM
You honestly stand?

I swear, I never knew adults stood to wipe. I honestly didnt. Thats so fucking weird...and gross.

:lol:lol

I honestly don't know anymore. I'm confused.

I want to go take a shit now just so I can know exactly how I do it. I think I'll post a video of it.
peewee's lovechild
12-11-2009, 04:14 PM
If you stand, you either have to manually open your own cheeks or bend forward, which is not something you want to do when you have your pants around your ankles.

I just take off my pants when I'm in the shitter.

I put them on that hook by the stall door.
Whisky Dog
12-11-2009, 04:21 PM
I had a friend who used to always stand to wipe. It wasn't because of how he was raised, or race or anything like that. No, he stood so he could check out his handiwork and if he was suitably impressed, he would move to the next stall over and wipe there leaving his magnificence for all to see.

Now THAT is a man and a half. I'd shake his hand for that. I do like the diea of standing for admiration. When you sit and try and peek, you kinda stare between your legs, but your ass shades your project.
:lmao
Whisky Dog
12-11-2009, 04:22 PM
I just prop my leg up against the sink in a Capt Morgan stance, get the wet wipes, and go to work.
Whisky Dog
12-11-2009, 04:23 PM
If you stand, you either have to manually open your own cheeks or bend forward, which is not something you want to do when you have your pants around your ankles.

Where are you shitting, in a maximum security prison?
thispego
12-11-2009, 04:27 PM
I think obese people have to stand. Tpark, you notice any difference in your wiping technique between now and roughly a year ago?
leemajors
12-11-2009, 04:28 PM
Standing in and of itself is odd enough to me, but standing and facing the toilet is even more bizarre. Maybe that was what Mel was referring to?
jaffies
12-11-2009, 04:44 PM
I usually lay down.

Or just shake vigorously.
circ
12-11-2009, 04:51 PM
shit, now I have to go download some scat vids and compare.
Udokafan05
12-11-2009, 10:44 PM
Very funny article
jman3000
12-12-2009, 12:16 PM
ha... I started a thread on this in the Troll forum a few months ago.
DisgruntledLionFan#54,927
12-12-2009, 03:23 PM
Try using this damn thing:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/learningenglish/communicate/blog/student//images/c__toilet_2.jpg

I was forced to use this on an Italian beach and it scarred me for life.
DarkReign
12-12-2009, 04:07 PM
Wait....it looks as though you have to squat, then throw your used papaer in the waste basket?!

Thats so fucking disgusting.

My brother-in-law travels a lot and he said in Korea, they basically just have a hole in the floor for you to do your business.
DisgruntledLionFan#54,927
12-12-2009, 04:26 PM
You're supposed to face the wall, fold your arms on your knees and squat as close to the toilet as possible. Felt like I was dropping a duece in the woods up north.

http://www.kichi-japanese-gifts.co.uk/resources/japanese-toilet-use.jpg




And the whole floor was wet.
Cant_Be_Faded
12-12-2009, 04:33 PM
I can't believe people stand to wipe. That is so odd.
thispego
12-12-2009, 04:35 PM
You're supposed to face the wall, fold your arms on your knees and squat as close to the toilet as possible. Felt like I was dropping a duece in the woods up north.

http://www.kichi-japanese-gifts.co.uk/resources/japanese-toilet-use.jpg




And the whole floor was wet.

you're supposed to shit like a dog in Japan?
leemajors
12-12-2009, 05:03 PM
You should be shot if you stand to wipe. The better question should be wiping hand over backside or under junk.

Depends on whether you would want to risk shitty balls. I wouldn't.
Strike
12-12-2009, 05:18 PM
I've always stood up to wipe. Sitting while wiping just never occurred to me. Wet wipes get whatever dry toilet paper doesn't. I've never had a problem with skidmarks.
Viva Las Espuelas
12-12-2009, 05:29 PM
You should be shot if you stand to wipe. The better question should be wiping hand over backside or under junk.
just wipe awaaaaaaaaay from the balls.
EmptyMan
12-12-2009, 06:22 PM
wtfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff


I always stood. I never knew there was another way. I've literally never even once thought of it. Mind=Blown

I can't wait to take a deuce tonight and have an epiphany.
RedsLakers24
12-12-2009, 06:30 PM
i dont even wipe my ass, its gross, i just let the crap stick to my boxers
Pero
12-12-2009, 06:34 PM
LMAO, hilarious article. Never thought about this. :lol
Past two or three years I sometimes stand and sometimes sit, but before that I think I mostly stood. :lol
Pero
12-12-2009, 06:35 PM
turns out what gave them that idea was that one of them actually knew some asian guy who didn't know what the toilet seat was for. He thought it was a "seat protector" that you put down when you pee so you don't piss on the rim of the toilet. Then when he had to poop, he would sit on the rim of the toilet.

rofl!!!
chode_regulator
12-12-2009, 06:43 PM
i wish i could open that link at work. someone give me the run down

The run down is get back to fucking work you no selling waste of space!
whottt
12-12-2009, 06:46 PM
I try not to fence myself in...I'll do one or the other or somtimes both depending on my mood. However I will almost always use a good standing ascheek grabbing wipe to finish off.

A standing wipe in which you grab an asscheek gives you infinitely more leverage and allows you to put both power and accuracy behind the wipe.

And I don't have a problem with skidmarks either. A standing wipe is the key to no skidmarks.

I encourage everyone to broaden their horizons and try a different method, try different combintions, not to mention try different hands as well.


I mean you ony live once right?

PS: Any time you encounter somthing like shit on the toilet seat, it was almost always the product of a pure squatter IMHO.
gatoloco
12-12-2009, 06:50 PM
3 sitting wipes should do the job, but throw in one stand up...aka, the surveillance wipe.
whottt
12-12-2009, 07:15 PM
3 sitting wipes should do the job, but throw in one stand up...aka, the surveillance wipe.


Similar to my philosophy on asswiping. :tu

My basic framework is the first one should almost always be a sitter and the last one should almost always be a stander.
DarkReign
12-12-2009, 07:17 PM
Wow...it is kind of 60/40.

I never thought people stood. I knew children did, but their feet hang off the front, I understand that.

As for standing being more...sanitary, I cant see that. A sitter has his/her ass encased in porcelain. Any flek or errent media is contained in the bowl.

A stander? Microscopic media alllllll over the toilet, the walls , the floor, the fucking toilet paper.

Jesus Christ, I never thught about that. I rarely, only in emergency, use public restrooms to do the business. For whatever reason, my body will actually never signal me to "go" when I am not in a comfort zone. I have literally gone days eating three square meals per day without because I was localized to a place I wasnt comfortable with.

This standing and wiping issue just cements my habits indefinitely.
DarkReign
12-12-2009, 07:18 PM
No offense to the standing room only crowd, btw. Your business, not mine.
z0sa
12-12-2009, 07:34 PM
Yeah, apparently I need to take back my comment ... but I never knew. I can't even remember a time when I actually stood up before wiping..
phyzik
12-13-2009, 09:11 PM
Wait, is this talking about fully erect standing? If so, yeah thats gross, but sometimes I hover when I shit/wipe just to avoid my arm or ass touching the seat, especially porta-potties or disgusting travel stop toilets.
Spurminator
12-13-2009, 09:43 PM
Bidets would make all of this so much easier. Why haven't those caught on?
mrsmaalox
12-13-2009, 10:21 PM
:lmao Men! You never fail to amaze me :lol I grew up with my dad and brother, and sometimes the things they did/said just perplexed me no end. Then I dated men and married one---and it wasn't much different, I wondered "Why? What happened that makes his brain work that way?" And now I have given birth to 2 of my own and it is painfully clear: You guys are born this way!! :lmao
phyzik
12-13-2009, 10:26 PM
:lmao Men! You never fail to amaze me :lol I grew up with my dad and brother, and sometimes the things they did/said just perplexed me no end. Then I dated men and married one---and it wasn't much different, I wondered "Why? What happened that makes his brain work that way?" And now I have given birth to 2 of my own and it is painfully clear: You guys are born this way!! :lmao

At least men are consistent with their thought processes.